Indeed. We will be displaying elaborately-coiffed pubic hair! Powdered wigs from the 18th century! Bee-hives from the 1960's! A delight for the senses!
Pulg sweeps up the trimmings, which is why he is allowed in the Dangler-Zone.
If you see the next poster nude, you might notice something interesting.
Black Tie, of course.
The next poster is one of the judges.
I'M BLIND AND DEAF AND YET THAT DID NOT STOP THEM FROM MAKING ME A JUDGE. AND NOW I HAVE TO JUDGE THESE CONTESTANTS THOROUGHLY. JUST TAKE AWAY ALL MY SENSES NOW.
The next poster is a contestant.
Behold: The Pompadour!
I can't take all the credit, though: The next poster styles all the hair below my navel and above my knees.
Eh. You get used to it after the first 5000 vomits.
The next poster has just started to latest trend in fashion.
...The High 'n' Tight!
The next poster makes sure that all his NPCs exactly resemble Vanilla Ice.
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Clockwork clothes! With gears, and wheels, and moving parts, and miniature working steam engines, all pointless except for distinguishing haves from have-nots and causing gruesome injuries when fights inevitably break out! Sure to be banned from high schools across the country within a month! I am not making it up when I say I had this idea BEFORE "steampunk" became trendy!
The next poster once trekked through the Amazon Rainforest with R2-FU as their guide.
You'd think that after watching R2-FU taser the 10th leopard that tried to eat me during the journey that I'd get bored, but I never did.
The next poster has an unusual technique for nonlethally defeating an assailant.
One of my best-sellers in the "Stuff of Ultimate Nightmares" collection. I just hope I don't sell out before Halloween - even the machines used to make them can only handle one at a time.
The next poster has a concept for my next big hit mask line.
I'm thinking something golden.
The next poster will flesh out the features.
Yes. It is boring as all hell but it at least looks interesting. Plus, from time to time a guest reads a bit of it.
The next poster had to take care of that once.
There's been a few successes in exorcicion, but most had to be purged by fire.
The next poster destroyed a church to Zon-Kuthon, and got away with it.
I had to destroy the church in Zon-Kuthon, because He told me to and He will destroy the world if I do not obey! The next poster is the person who told me to destroy that church, AND DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES!!!
Now, I am forever doomed to be a little teacup. Such is my doom.
The next poster has formulated a scheme to release me from my torment.
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You think blood should be hated because it doesn't wash off easily, however for me, it's when I get covered I go into a disgusting bloodletting frenzy which causes me to get covered in more blood thus continuing the madness.
The next poster has the grueling task of using a rhino tranquilliser and shotgun to give me some anaesthetic.
Honestly, it's probably one of the better jobs I've had. I'm only mauled occasionally, which is nice.
The next poster can't wait to tell us what they found in a dumpster.
It was a chicken ray gun.
And people wonder where the sudden increase in chicken numbers are coming from.
The next poster made a cameo as a green ooze, in the Might and Magic VII game.
I was young. I needed the money.
The next poster has a world-changing discovery.
Oh, dear me, yes! Through trial and error (and at the expense of a few test subjects) I found that, given enough incentive, one can [REDACTED] one's [REDACTED] into one's [REDACTED] and on through to the [REDACTED], with only a minimum of trauma to the [REDACTED]. Granted, side effects of this procedure included diarrhea, vomiting, acute depression, and [REDACTED], but that's a small price to pay for the ability to [REDACTED] at will (after a bit of practice, anyway - and perhaps a few minutes of stretching).
The next poster will tell us what acquiring this newfound skill has done for them.
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Mostly, it's made me the most jaded man alive. Well that, and I can now see what screams taste like. That's kinda neat I guess.
The next poster is pondering something.
Is a Wish spell powerful enough to scorch the memories of GoatToucher from my mind?
The next poster can't stop staring.
Those 15 levels I took in Cat were totally worth it.
The next poster has finally been allowed onto the furniture.
I wouldn't exactly say "allowed" but when you eat the homeowners who's going to argue?
The next poster is also a homeowner, but they own a rather unusual home.
They say home is where the heart is and I happen to keep these hearts well-preserved in jars.
The next poster had too much to drink.
Just spend 5 minutes in GoatToucher's workroom. Then you will be sober.
Forever.
The next poster can't seem to get away from those dang bees!
Why are you waking up in GoatToucher's playroom?
The next poster has had enough.
THAT DOES IT!
I'm nuking the surface from orbit!!!
The next poster escaped from Deadspace's The Ishimaru, and covertly escaped by sneaking unto Isaac's escape craft.
Just spend 5 minutes in GoatToucher's workroom. Then you will be sober.
Forever.
I beg to differ. Many make a point of never being sober again.
___
At any rate... :looks around spacecraft, arching an eyebrow:
I have no memory of this place.
The next poster meant to arrive exactly when they meant to, but ended up being fifteen minutes late.
A wizard is always fashionably late to parties. Especially if they're murder-orgies.
The next poster engaged in a life-and-death struggle with actual cannibal Shia Labeouf.
I sneak up behind Actual cannibal Shia Lebeouf strangle him then I wrestle his knife from him and stab him in his kidney.
The next poster is dazed and confused and has no idea how he got here.
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Last thing I remember before blacking out is some crazy guy sneaking up behind me and yelling something about me being this actor before strangling me. I think I might have been stabbed in the kidney too? It's hard to remember.
The next poster has just been hired for their dream job.
What am I supposed to do with these five tons of high-quality earwax now?
The next poster always knows the direction of the nearest merchant.
Yes, my GPS has this really nifty function that displays any merchant within the vicinity, which can be scaled significantly too.
The next poster has planned to sabotage the USA elections this year, and successfully start a new party the people can vote for.
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You wouldn't believe how much mischief you can make when you pretend to be an old lady (and I'll leave it to your imaginations as to what the mischief would be). As for creating the new political party, I'm still trying to figure out the best name that's going to get the votes piling in.
The next poster won the local election to get a new congressman by accidentally ripping their trousers/skirt.
It was easier than I thought. I merely smiled at my opponent during the first debate. They became so scared that they soiled themselves. In a failed attempt to escape the stench they ended up tearing the seat of their trousers as they desperately tried to remove them. It was hilarious.
The next poster also has a humorous story how they won a local election.
Just one word for you: Fraud!
...
Yes, Jennifer Marie Fraud is the best campaign manager I've ever had! Her ability to keep my campaign focused on the issues, her excellent "get out the vote" events, and her all-around political savvy were indispensable to my victory. My campaign for the Mayor's Office was virtually scandal free!
Also she rigged the voting process for me.
The next poster is going to be involved in a important debate.
Which finger should a gentleman pick his nose with if he has not been properly introduced to the lady standing in front of him?
The next poster has arranged a world hairyweight title fight between Uncle Teddy's Bear, Fred, and the Big Bad Wolf of Kharazan.
It was a disaster. They teamed up, ate half the audience, and mauled the other half.
The next poster is responsible for paying all of the legal and insurance fees as a result of the fight.
We had a partnership going until Jake blamed me for the sudden dip in their stocks of steaks and stakes. We've mended things since, however.
The next poster had the privilege of experiencing a steak and stake combo.