The Next Poster...

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Do your palm trees look a bit hairy? Try Palm Nair! 76.54671% guaranteed! Does not work on other trees.

The next poster has a problem with scaly trees.

Scales! Why should a tree have scales? It's like they had gotten tired of being plants and wanted to be dragons! Who would want to be a tree if you can be a dragon, thinking of it? They must be intelligent trees, but I'm still offended by the idea of a tree trying to be a dragon.

The next poster shares my obsession with dragons.

Fascination creatures of power and mass destruction.

(Makes note to develop countermeasures)

The next poster has won the lottery at the local home for the elderly.

I won 3 milk duds and a bottle cap! I'm eatin' well tonight!

The next poster cannot stop typing puns.

They sent me off to a punnery, locked me up in a punitentiary, but I am still pun for the whole family!

The next poster loves unbearably ursinine humor.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Oh my yes. An infection down there can make it feel like flames are shooting out!

:Jambi whispers in his ear:

Oh: URSINEine. That's an entirely different matter altogether. An STI is the least of your problems when you're f#*$ing a bear.

Though it is still a problem.

The next poster is the alter ego of Violated by Bears Man!

He's one of my alters, in fact. I thought he was one of the aliases of Captain Yesterday but in the end it looks it was mine. It's difficult to keep track on so many alternate personalities.

The next poster also has some degree of multiple personality disorder.

We do not! how rude/mean/pleasant/surprising/huh?/Just dances in place

The next poster thinks he/she is Abraham Lincoln.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I have 200 personalities, all of them Abraham Lincoln. I was born in 200 log cabins...

The next poster also enjoyed Futurama.

The series died and was necromanciated, like I'm attempting here with my double post! Don't die on me, thread!

The next poster is an unskilled necromancer.


*crickets chirping*

The next poster has a suspicion of what I did wrong.

You were supposed to use locusts, not crickets, as the main material component. Also, "Give my creation life" is not an actual spell.

The next poster accidentally started the zombie apocalypse.

They weren't meant to destroy the World, they were only meant to serve me! I should have kept track of the HD limit...

The next poster has already survived two zombie apocalypses and a killer bunny apocalypse.

And they were not half as dangerous as the Rum Apocalypse! That was a pretty cool apocalypse!!

The next poster has a terrible hangover!

I think you mean 'awesome', and yes, by Calistria, I do! This is the push-up bra to end all push-up bras, fer sure!

The next poster is unsure of the difference between 'lingerie' and 'linguine'

so THAT'S why last night's dinner tasted so awful!

The next poster was made a fool of by another poster and is plotting pasta-filled vengeance.

Jokey the Unfunny Comedian wrote:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape from the horrible slimy nameless horror that is you!

He made fun of me! Let's see who has the last laugh when I have my revenge! I made my version of the «pie in the face» joke: Lasagna in the face! And it has just come out from the oven! *Cocky laugh*

The next poster ate the lasagna while I was searching Jokey.

Hey, this lasagna is pretty good! But it would have been even funnier if you threw it in someone's face! Maybe next time.

The next poster is in two places at once and doesn't know why.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Wait How am I here and also there C'est la vie

the next poster checked out the last one to post thread.

You have realized that Space is just an Illusion. You are close to achieve enlightenment.

The next poster doesn't care about enlightment, just wants to be everywhere at the same time for a wicked reason.

Naturally i can, with this Scry World spell permanently active.
The reason?

To observe where i can get more souls into a contract.

The next poster is planning a flash mob in Iceland.

It was a surprise for your 666th birthday, The Fiend Fantastic, and now you have ruined it! Stop peeping!

The Next Poster is helping me with the Fiend's party planning.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm very good at planning surprises as well as parties. To get around The Fiend Fantastic's world-scrying spell, I've been using the one place he'd never dare to look: wherever GoatToucher currently is. And if he does peep, well, that's a surprise in itself!

The next poster has prepared a very special act as a birthday gift.

All the people at the party will be sacrificed and their souls offered to him as a birthday gift. He'll love it!

The next poster has developed a special ritual to do it.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

And he had better appreciate it cause finding strippers that are also adept at occult rituals is NOT easy.

The next Poster is part of the ritual.

And it was difficult to find a sexy bikini of my size, so I hope it is worth it.

Next poster thinks dragon strippers are hot.

Of course dragon strippers are hot! Red dragon strippers are hotter than hell, though!

Nex poster thinks red dragon strippers are too hot.

I do. White dragon strippers are cooler.

Next poster doesn't share our taste for scaly creatures.

To me "Dragon Strippers" are the people I hire to strip the skin off of dragon carcasses.

What do I use the skin for? I'll never tell! :wink:

The next poster has seen one or two of my dragon skin implements, and will describe their favorite.

A codpiece is one thing; a codpiece made out of an entire Great Wyrm Gold Dragon is quite another.

The next poster would like to inform us of PETD's response to this momentous creation.

The People for the Eating of Tasty Dragons approved of it, and ordered 17 to be made.

The next poster would have been number 18's recipient...

I want to be number 18!!! I HAVE DRAGON BLOOD I SAY! I deserve to be treated as a dragon!!! Eat me!

The next poster has tasted me and will share his opinion.

Hm... Spicy... hints of cinnamon, and... is that toasted skinflakes I'm detecting?

10/10, would cannibalize again.

The next poster had some ethical concerns with the last few posts.

So much talk about eating/cannibalizing dragons. Such a waste of time, when we should be talking about making elves cannibalizing each other! This is not right at all.

The next poster is hungry after reading these posts.

*Drools, with sparkling eyes, thoughts of food in mind*

Next pozter be opening pancake restaurant this weekend.

Being the only dragon stripper with a knowledge of occult rituals in the world have made me awfully rich! Now I have to invest my money in a more traditional bussiness. So I'm opening pancake restaurants in swamps all over the world to serve my mom's traditional recipe, with a special touch of corrosive acid!

The next poster has also a good eye for business.

Grand Lodge

Well, it's more of a mediocre eye, but y'know.

The next poster is going to spoil shrek 5 for everybody.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

In the end, Shrek realizes he was Bruce Willis from the beginning.

The next poster has a sixth sense, different from tremorsense, blindsense or spidersense.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I see Bruce Willis!

The next poster didn't see the twist coming.

The waltz was immoral enough, and surely God would have smiteded the world most thoroughly if anything naughtier had come along, but noooo....

The next poster would like to share their tips for getting away with illegal dancing.

Just stay away from the Mirror Men. No matter if they keep talking to your mind saying it's illegal to dance in public at Winterthrone. Stay away and they won't see you dancing.
If that fails, just bring down that corrupt and evil society of Winter Witches and then dance in Winterthrone's ashes.
Easy, isn't it?

The next poster has dealt before with Mirror Men and shares the experience.

Just break the mirror. It's not that hard.

The next poster really wishes that they didn't gamble with faeries.

The nereid lost her shawl to me and now she wants me dead!

The next poster has lost more than that in a bar game.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Indeed. Thanks to a particularly high stakes game of Beer Pong, I am down to only five testicles!

The next poster has seen then other three on display.

Most wondrous works of art. Though I wonder how does a person have one made from the compressed heart of a red dwarf star, the second made from the tears of a rock, and the third freely given from a Minotaur?

The next poster has the answers to those questions and more.

It involved too many sleepless nights and not enough overtime pay. It is kind of nice to be called an artist, though.

The next poster is in despair.

I'm in despair... OF PANTS!

The next poster is in despair of bosoms.

I'm lost. Seriously, this frisky storm giantess casts mythic augmented exapnsion on herself and mythic augmented compression on me, then tosses me into her . . . tracts of land.

The next poster is preparing a rescue mission to find me.

Sovereign Court

All terrain boots: check, camping supplies: check, explorer's outfit: check, hiking gear: check. Now I only need one more thing.

The next poster is my Sherpa guide, as they know these particular kind of 'mountains' better than I do.

Hey. Here on GoatToucher's behalf, since he has things to do. Let's get this over with.

The next poster foresees some complications in the rescue mission.

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