"Yea, we'd like to see the fella. Let's go."
I've got a bad feeling about this...
The man shrugs. "Never heard of him, sorry."
...
...
...
Fortunately, by this time, a small crowd has gathered. One of the onlookers exclaims, "Oh, yeah, I know the guy. Got taken in a couple days ago. He hadn't kept up on his taxes, either. I can take you to the Fishcamp Guard headquarters if you'd like."
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Vashti feels the start of another headache coming.
Because, of course he was. Please, show us the way, we have busness with him. Excellent work Red!
The windows of this large, ugly, unpainted building are boarded shut. Its construction is rough and haphazard, as if it were once a smaller shack that had many additions tacked on later. The word "guardhouse," along with a crude symbol of a shield crossed by a hook, is painted on the building's only door.
As you approach, you see the thugs from earlier - minus the still-unconscious leader. They give you nasty grins. "Think you're pretty tough, dontcha? Why don't you try out your nasty wrestling games with ... THEM!" The door slams open, and a pair of Ogres groggily stumble out. They're still half-asleep and are clearly displeased about being woken up.
Hey, he accepted a fair bet and lost. That's no problem of ours. Besides, who cares if a woman beat the crap out of him in front of his entire unit and couldn't even hold on long enough to beg for mercy? That doesn't make him any less of a man, does it?
While they discuss the intimacies of right and wrong would you two large gentlemen like to see my selection of food in the wagon yes yes?
He asked suddenly once more keeping his tail wrapped about his waist out of view. Mule snorted almost irritably his ears flickering as his tail lashed back and forth,
"Wow. You's guys are cowards. Slimy yella bellied cowards." Hobbes draws his bow tentatively, letting go of Percy for the moment.
As the guards try to build up their own bravado by bringing out the reluctant giantkin Neverhome slightly narrows his while looking back and forth between Sigrun and Vashti. Although he doesn't speak his completely deadpan face easily conveys the Can I kill them NOW???? mood he's in right now.
Zses looks grimly at the thugs (or guards, as it seemed), before letting go of Allie's hand and stepping in front of the gnome, between her and the enemies. Without a word, he keeps staring at them.
"Really? You guys are sore losers: first you run away because a girl beat you, and now you call friends?" Crow mocks the 'guards', feeling much more talkative than Zses at the moment. The whole "passing as inconspicuous" thing blew up, so no use in trying to pass as a normal, sparkly bird.
Allie sighed and stepped from behind Zses. She rolled her eyes at the man talking. "You annoy me, stupid man. Your friend was lucky, Red doesn't believe in murdering idiots. I do. Flame on."
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Looking over her shoulder at Hobbes Sigrun speaks quietly. "Tell the ogres that if they stand down, when we're done with them they can have them to eat."
Hobbes nods at Sigrun's request.
"Hey! Big guys! If you guys stand down, you can eat the small idiots when we're done with them. We'll even cook them for you!"
Allie's surprise fire blast hits the man full in the face. He howls in pain and flees inside the guardhouse, hair smoldering. The Ogres look at Hobbes in confusion.
The remaining men halfheartedly draw their swords while looking nervously at each other. They're clearly less than enthralled at the prospect of fighting powerful opponents.
A couple seconds after Allie's victim flees inside the guardhouse, you hear an angry shout. "They did WHAT!!! What in the Hells is wrong with you? Do I have to do everything myself?!?"
"Well it's better than us being mad and killing yous guys."
At this point Percy steps up beside Hobbes and lets divine fire ripple down her arms to her fingertips. Red isn't the only girl here who knows how to party. It would be a shame if your boss missed it. Why don't you men just go home and let him handle us. I PROMISE it'll improve your life expectancy. She states with a sight turn of her head that presents her divinely marked eye.
Silently he reached down and pulled and arrow out of his quiver, nocked it to the string and took a calming breath pulling it back and loosing it through the doorway.
Consider that a warning shot We would have words with you.
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A shout comes from inside the guardhouse. "Okay, okay, everybody stop shooting shit! I'm coming out." A moment later, a rackishly-dressed man in fancy studded leather armor steps out. A nice rapier is on his belt, but he's otherwise unarmed. Also, he's missing half of his mustache.
"The hell is wrong with you people?!?"
Allie growls. "Whats wrong with us?! Your thugs are the one who want to sick two ogres on us! Please... Do you want to be ignited too?" Allie glared.
"Besides which they decided they were going to "have fun" with me and when that didn't work out...." Sigrun pauses giving the unconscious leade a kick in the ribs."That's when they ran to get the ogres."
Falling into a simple standoffishness as the violence started to swell once Sigrun spoke instead of adding on words Neverhome just lazily stretches his neck from one side, and then to the other, eliciting two loud pops as he glared at the captain.
In other words, your men are idiots. Please tell me you're not.
The man slowly looks at each of you, as if assessing your capabilities. "All right, then. Let's start with everyone calming down and lowering weapons. Then let's talk. Start by telling me who the hell you are and what the hell you're doing harassing my men."
Clearing his throat the felinerai edged Mule forward. He removed his helm carefully, fully exposing his very handsome feline features.
We are the retinue of Master Zses, who has come home to see his mother. He is Stilyagi yes yes, we have been accosted by you stupid bridge trolls, your town guards, and now we seek a man we are told is in your jail for tax evasion. So step aside The master is impatient, and I am getting hungry.
He said with a big feline grin showing teeth.. lots and lots of sharp little teeth.
Waving her hand several time, Vashti summons pastries full of bacon, brown sugar, nuts and covered in butter.
Taking a bite from each, she hands them to the ogres and the mustached man.
Excellent idea young man, my nephew and his servants have had their fun and your men have had theirs.
Let us move on to other topics.
We have business with one in your care and we wish to "remove" him from your custody.
I have had a good trip, your men provided me with entertainment, so I am in a pleasant mood.
I am willing to negotiate for his transfer into our custody, so that I...we can administer his punishment.
What do you say to my generosity, young man? Shall we talk like civilized people, or will my nephew and his servants provide me with more entertainment?
Crossing his arms Neverhome nods along in agreement with Silence and Vashti before adding, "Would be most wise to listen to reasonable and most gracious Mamushka."
For a moment, Zses tries to reins in his panic at Silence trying to pass him as a stylagi.
SILEEEEENCEEE
"It is as they said." the witch gestures to his companions "We have businesses with Marcian Enarxion to attend to. I would prefer not to have to spend time explaining the situation to you: my time is precious..." he continues, trying to sound as obnoxious as he caught Irriseni nobles were.
This is so difficult...
Leaning towards the guards from Zses' shoulder, Crow stares at them for a moment before his shadow start to shift. "Have we cleared our misunderstanding, humans?" the raven says in his almost-human voice: if he had the required muscles, he'd be grinning right now.
Allie walks up to Zses' side and in a 'whisper' that is audiable to all says in a subservient tone "Master, if they don't so as master asks, shall I do what you bought me for? Shall I make it hot for you?" Her eyes begin to glow and the tips of her hair begin to smolder. "You know how quickly I can get hot and I am here to please!" Obviously not aware of the double entendre but aware of the general 'flirtyness'.
Percy is totally aware of the double entendre. You tease. she purrs.
She turns to the guard captain and comments, I taught her everything she knows... We'll except that one thing she learned at that Callistrian enclave. I'm not flexible enough for that.
The man looks confused and rather unsure of what he's gotten himself into. He holds up his hands placatingly. "Hey, now, there's no need for any of that. Show me some authorization, and I'll be happy to unload that layabout. He's just taking up valuable cell space, after all."
At the man's request Neverhome arches an eyebrow and lets his lips slide back into a slight snarl. "Your better was not asking. Which do you think is more precious, rabble? His lordship's time or your life?" he growls out though only slightly gritted teeth.
Allie giggles. "I hope he doesn't say masters time! That means I get to get hot for him!"
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Hobbes just looks at Percy confused, not that he was complaining, just unsure of what was going on now and how it got to this.
Percy winks at hobbes. She was totally making that thing about the Callistrians up.
Hobbes is speechless. As far as he was concerned, Percy was totally serious. "Well alright then. She's even more interesting."
The man looks nervously from Neverhome to Allie to Silence before throwing up his hands. "Alright, alright, we don't want any trouble. Just hold on for a second." He gestures at his men, and they go inside the guardhouse, returning shortly thereafter with a rather bruised-up man. "Here you go; he's all yours."
Just as carefully and quietly the felinerai once more redonned his helm and face guard making a big sigh and shoulder slump as if he were disapointed there was not to be battle.
Can we go get fish fish now master Zses? well after your dealings with that man of course
He asked his tail lashing trying very hard to play up the awakened animal that Ringeirr seemed to think he was. He had heard of such things before of course and he was still confused as to whether he should be offended or not.
Percy steps forward to receive custody of the man. She leads him into the center of the group saying, No funny business. I have my lord's permission to roast your soul over hickory if you don't pan out.
Most of Zses's concentration during the conversation is employed to keep a straight face at Allie's double entendres, rather than looking like a credible jadwiga.
That's easy: I just have to stare threateningly at them. Allie, on the other hand...Not that I'm complaining , but I'm not sure how to react to something that explicit right now-
Luckily, before he can collapse from a redhead-induced headache, the thugs deliver the prisoner they had to rescue.
"In due time, my servant." the fake jadwiga says to the caturai "First, we have to ask our friend here some questions. Shall we take a stroll a little out of the city and talk a little, shall we?" he grins menacingly at Marcian.
Let's hope we don't slip on the act now...
Without a word Neverhome slings an arm over the bruised man's shoulders and walks him towards Zsestrian.
With a final nod to the thugs, you escort the quivering man to a secluded area.
Looking around to make sure that no one is watching, Zses asks the man one last time while keeping his stylagi persona "Marcian Enarxion?".
After Marcian confirms his identity, Zses gives a long sigh and slumps his shoulders "Whev, was that hard to keep up for so long. Especially if you say things like that, Allie: it's hard for a guy to keep a straight face to that!" he grins at the gnome. "You all right? You look a little beat up." the witch continues, smiling amicably.
"They've told us that you could provide us with some papers to pass as Stylagi? Is that true?"
Because just saying we are in a Stylagi's tenure won't work forever. Percy adds.
Not wanting to mess this up the felinerai posts himself atop Mule about ten yards away keeping an eye out just in case the guards decided to change their mind about releasing their prisoner.
Allie innocently looks at Zses. "What? I was just pretending to be a servant..." Allie frowns, confused.
Percy smirks. There were some... Hidden meanings... In what you said, sis. Don't worry, I'll explain later.