So any gay guys going to Gen Con?

I couldn't find a Sub Forum for Cons so hope it is cool to post this here.

Anyway I am planning on going to Gen Con BUT there is no way I can really swing the cost of a (near by) room all by myself and figured I would see if any other gaymers are going and want to split crash space.

I am rarely offended, but I must say this thread a bit offensive. I do not see how someone's sexual orientation has any bearing on your request.

Would it be okay for me to ask for only a person of a certain race to split a room?

Let me clear a few things up.

I am a gay male and I figured that it would easy finding another gay guy to split a room with since crashing with straight guys (unless you are already good friends with them) can be uncomfortable as hell for them and for me. If I was looking for a hook up at Gen Con this is Not the place I would be doing it.

That being said if there are any gay friendly gamers that are also looking I am okay with that.

I am rarely offended, but I must say this thread a bit offensive. I do not see how someone's sexual orientation has any bearing on your request.

Would it be okay for me to ask for only a person of a certain race to split a room?

If you don't see how someone's sexual orientation could make someone uncomfortable while sharing a hotel room then you need to get out in the world more often.

Would you have made that comment if a Girl posted that she was looking for other Girls to split a room at a Con?

Very well put, Pholtus, and I see nothing offensive at all about your request. You should be commended for your openness, not criticized. As a straight man I'd certainly have no difficulty rooming with a gay guy.

I was rather hoping to make it to Gen Con this year but it seems highly unlikely :-( Hope you have a great time and find some good roommates!

Eh, I'm straight and while I wouldn't care if I had a gay roomie I can definitly understand why it would be more fun to say "Hey! Did you see the chest on that guy! My God his pecs were fantastic!" to another guy who would understand where you were coming from.

I am not a gay friendly gamer. I am a gay neutral gamer. To me, everyone is an equal and I would not have an issue sharing a room with you. Unfortunately, I am not going.

In my opinion, your original post was not worded well and I still hold true to my first statement. You're second post was much clearer. I can understand your uncomfortableness and I understand why you wanted to post such a thread.

I do, however, disagree with your analogy of a girl post versus a sexual orientation post. Both are definitely discrimination yet both are not equal - one is physical. My analogy is much more fitting.

Kieviel what does talking about another person's anatomy have to do with gaming?

Took me 10 minutes to figure this one out.

Pholtus, I am sorry to have hijacked your thread. Please forgive me. I have no right sticking my nose into your business whether, in my opinion, you wording it could have offended me.

This trait seems abundant in the States and I sincerely am sorry.

I will not be responding to this thread again.

Well, Irranshalee, my comment about anatomy was meant to point out that Pholtus may be looking for a roommate to relate too in a fashion that reflects his orientation.

It's more enjoyable to share the things you enjoy with others who are like-minded. It's kinda why we dorks go to conventions ;-)

Pholtus, you might ask in LGBT community thread.

I do, however, disagree with your analogy of a girl post versus a sexual orientation post. Both are definitely discrimination yet both are not equal - one is physical.

Actually, both situations involve physical risks—gay-bashing is still all too common in the US.

@OP, I second Drejk's recommendation. :-)

This is none of my business but that won't stop me from responding. I understood the original request, though I guess it could have been worded better. He makes a good point, however: a female wouldn't have been questioned for inquiring about potential female roommates and a male wouldn't have been questioned for asking after male roommates.

For the record, I'm a straight male but wouldn't care one bit if my roommate was not. I don't suppose I'd care if my roommate was female either, for that matter. I

Good luck finding someone to share with!
M

Lol, what a starting post. Whew.

What was so "whew" about the starting post?

He said he'd have trouble affording a hotel room by himself and thought he'd find roommates. I presume he specified gay men because that is who he would be most comfortable rooming with. Nothing out of place to me.

Pholtus, I echo the response to get to the LGBT gamer thread and reposting your request.

As a straight guy I find it understandable, but mildly offensive. I have nothing against my gay brethren. I have been rooming with people of all sexual orientations since 09 at a wide variety of cons - to me it would be weird if everyone in the room was straight.

As a straight guy I find it understandable, and in no way offensive.

@OP: I would follow Drejk and Judy's advice, though, and follow Drejk's link. You may be better received there.

As a straight guy I find it understandable, but mildly offensive. I have nothing against my gay brethren. I have been rooming with people of all sexual orientations since 09 at a wide variety of cons - to me it would be weird if everyone in the room was straight.

But as Judy notes, one can't assume that any person you'd sign up to room with at a con is like you. You're a nice guy, but a relative stranger doesn't know you from the local gay basher and can't afford to take that chance. And the sad fact is, he's more likely to find someone hostile than not.

Frankly, although for slightly different reasons, as a woman I'd never room at a con with a straight man I didn't know (or only knew from the Internet) either. You can feel free to be offended by that, but experience has taught me to be cautious, and I stand by my caution. It doesn't mean I think all straight men are bad people, it means it is wise not to trust strangers in certain situations. Just like if I'm caught in a bad part of town, I will probably be more cautious about who I talk to and keep track of where my belongings are (in fact I tend to do that no matter what part of the city I'm in). It doesn't mean I think all poor urban dwellers are thieves. It just means I know certain situations incur higher risks of certain things, and I'm not going to take those risks unless I absolutely have to.

As a straight guy I find it understandable, but mildly offensive. I have nothing against my gay brethren. I have been rooming with people of all sexual orientations since 09 at a wide variety of cons - to me it would be weird if everyone in the room was straight.

Or viewed from another way, you should be offended—but by the gay-bashers (or sexual predators, from the other example) who make it unsafe to trust random roommates, not by their victims. Those jerks are totally ruining random roommates' reputations!

(I don't mean to pile on you, Freehold GM, I know you're an ally—it just really sucks to get blamed regardless of whether you're a victim (gay panic defense, "she asked for it") or trying to avoid being victimized. It's a lose-lose situation!)

*shrug* I can read the first post as trolling. I likewise can read it as *not* and am glad the OP clarified himself.

Can't do anything for Gen Con though. Origins would be an option, if you have an air matress and don't mind a full house.

But I am not blaming anyone, just pointing out that I felt mildly offended by the assumption of narrow mindedness or potential violence. But like I also said, I understand - one can never be too sure, and TMDQ is indeed correct in avoiding potentially dangerous situations. The initial query could have been stated better-asking for gay friendly as opposed to straight out gay- but still, I would have no problem rooming with pholtus- it threatens me not in the slightest. Also, he likes Greyhawk, which is always a plus in my book.

Hey Gang, I think I should chime in here.

Couple things, I could have worded the original post better (for that I would like to blame blame lack of sleep and caffeine)

In the past I have run into some issues at Cons with some straight players (one even left a game a game I was running only because he noticed I was wearing a rainbow necklace). SO I really didn't want drama with someone I was crashing with because of it.

That being said, one of the main reason I posted on the Paizo boards about looking for a roommate for the Con in because it has some of the greatest (and level headed) people and I had nothing but am amazing time the last Gen Con I went to running games for Paizo.

one even left a game a game I was running only because he noticed I was wearing a rainbow necklace

IMO, you were better off not having to play with that fellow anyway. :)

Please, my gay brethren and sistren, don't think that because there are inevitably some neanderthals among the sapiens, that we straight folk all think that way.

Some of us know and love gay and lesbian people in our own lives, and your personal sexual identity doesn't mean diddly at my table.

mearrin69 is right. Fortunately, I honestly think that the vast majority of gamers understand what it is to be a little different, and hold no grudges in that regard.

Get Cheetos dust on my books, though, and your @$$ is out the door!

*shrug* I can read the first post as trolling. I likewise can read it as *not* and am glad the OP clarified himself.

Seriously? It was a simple request for other gaymers looking to split room costs... I'm missing something: that's trolling how?

Matthew Morris wrote:

*shrug* I can read the first post as trolling. I likewise can read it as *not* and am glad the OP clarified himself.

Seriously? It was a simple request for other gaymers looking to split room costs... I'm missing something: that's trolling how?

Seriously? When you don't care about the orientation of the roommate, and aren't assuming he's going to bugger you in your sleep, it *could* be read as "Looking for gay roomate to roll dice during the day and roll each other during the night."

Trolling = looking for a hookup in this case, not looking to cause a flamewar.

Please, my gay brethren and sistren, don't think that because there are inevitably some neanderthals among the sapiens, that we straight folk all think that way.

Some of us know and love gay and lesbian people in our own lives, and your personal sexual identity doesn't mean diddly at my table.

mearrin69 is right. Fortunately, I honestly think that the vast majority of gamers understand what it is to be a little different, and hold no grudges in that regard.

Get Cheetos dust on my books, though, and your @$$ is out the door!

Not just yeah.

HELLS YEAH.

A seat the table for everyone!

In a situation like finding a roommate, I think it is important not to take it personally when someone excludes a category you are in. Within reason.

If someone said, "I am going to this place and I would prefer to room with gamers" -- doesn't mean the person thinks non-gamers are bad, but they want a roommate to share talk about common interests.

Now of course someone specifying something like a physical feature or ability (race or physical disability) that would go into the creepy/offensive zone.

Gender and sexuality cross a very nuanced and complicated series of threshholds. I think it's reasonable for people to want to stay within their comfort zones to a degree, for the purposes of things like housing. I can see "Well I'm not going to share a room with a woman because women are icky" (or a gay or straight or whatever person) can get to areas of stupidity. But even there it's probably better to be honest about it. If a potential roommate would be squicked out by my presence for whatever reason, I'd rather know and find a different roommate, frankly (and likewise find a different roommate if the current one is squicking me out). Not all situations are appropriate opportunities to break boundaries. Just make sure no one involved is getting hurt, emotionally and physically, and otherwise do what's best for you.

I never once felt Pholtus was saying "I want to room with gaymers because I think the rest of you suck." That some people are choosing to take it that way (allowing for my hyperbole) says more about those people and their own insecurities than about Pholtus, in my opinion.

When I read his post, I went, "Okay, well, I'm a bi female, so I'm not what he's seeking in a roommate. Moving on." I wasn't hurt because I wasn't included. Why should I be? (Also, probably not going to Gen Con anyway.)

And even if he was implying he was looking for a hookup, which I also didn't get the impression of--especially since he was talking about defraying costs--who the hell cares? Doesn't affect you personally, so, whatever.

Sorry if I'm doing unsolicited whiteknighting but I'm actually kind of baffled this is the "controversy" it appears to be.

I saw the potential for controversy, and I admit I giggled when I read the thread title. Not offended, not in the least. Just found it funny because several friends of mine would have meant hookup if making that post.