101 ways to get the book thrown at you.


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


1: “Yeah so I can make holy water by casting bless water on a flask’s amount of water, so me and my leadership feat, with the max score for followers, 3 Rings of the Ecclesiarch (one on a Hand of Glory), a Suzerain Scepter, and all of the followers being Clerics, are going to mass spam Bless Water on the 70% of the party’s bodies that are water, thus damaging the enemies every time they cut us in combat.”


2. Trying to perform massive cheese without checking it's sound, such as ignoring how few things Holy water actually damages or that you still get pitiful splash damage.

3. Dismissing an idea mostly due to its complexity or number of sources required. Remember, the more sources it takes, the more ammo the player has.


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4. Using Sacred Geometry


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5. Boasting of how book-proof your head is.


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6. "With Leadership, I'll get a druid who also has Leadership and whose animal companion is Cha-specialized and who also has Leadership for another druid with Leadership, and...." *Whack*


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7. Pick a fight with an aether kinetcists in a library.


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8. Pick a fight with a Living Grimoire Inquisitor.


9. Bard. Gnome. Bagpipes.


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10. "I mean, the core rulebook doesn't say you CAN'T move when you're dead..."

Grand Lodge

11. "Honest, officer, the bag filled with coin fell off his rope belt and into my hands and he wasn't listening to me when I offered it back..."


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12. Roll a witch with a scythe that Slumbers and coup de graces everything.

13. Correct the DM as to how an ability actually works.


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14. Make a Paladin/Antipaladin in an Evil/Good campaign, respectively.


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15. Commit a crime in front of a librarian with Weapon Focus (Books).


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16. "I've figured out how to create Pun-Pun in Pathfinder! Its a 53 step process so listen up. First you..."'

17. Play a Kobold grappler with the Draconic Breath feat and the Noxious Bite feat.
Its a standard action to escape a grapple but a nauseated creature can only take a move action.
18. Take the Animal Fury Rage Power and the Hamatula Strike feat and get an infinite loop going. See how many times you can pull it off before he starts chucking things at you ;)
19. Hey guys im building a grappler...
20. Hey guys I'm building a Vow of Poverty Sunder specialist who is a worshiper of Gorum...

21. Play a Gnome Illusionist whos main goal in life is to break immersion by messing with absolutely everything he possibly can, and get away with it...
22. Play a Psion Telepath with undetectable Mind Muckery and screw with everyones minds just for shts and giggles and to see the world break down into anarchy.

23. Using SoP, play an Incanter/Whitesmith multiclass with the Animate Objects talent, Enchanted Animation feat and EWP: Shuriken. Gain unlimited free-action casting!!!
You can spend 2pp to animate a Shuriken and infuse it with a power, it then lasts indefinitely. Rest, repeat. Keep storing them until you have inexhaustable supply of casting. Shuriken are ammunition so you can draw them as a free action and they are easy to store. Or simply animate the Shuriken with mobility and have them activate themselves to utterly destroy action economy.
24. High level Druid/Wizard. "Hey guys! I figured out how to share Wild Shapes and Polymorph spells with the party! Ok, so every encounter everyones stats, sizes, abilities and attacks are going to change. Every. Encounter.
I like to mix it up :)

25. Hey guys, meet my new girlfriend! She is going to be playing with us, its her first time. I promise she will be better then the last three!!!


Reksew_Trebla wrote:
1: “Yeah so I can make holy water by casting bless water on a flask’s amount of water, so me and my leadership feat, with the max score for followers, 3 Rings of the Ecclesiarch (one on a Hand of Glory), a Suzerain Scepter, and all of the followers being Clerics, are going to mass spam Bless Water on the 70% of the party’s bodies that are water, thus damaging the enemies every time they cut us in combat.”

GM response: "Wait, so you are saying you just removed all the water from that persons body?

Welp. Roll Fort save or die." :p
Holy water is good and all, but you kinda need water for some things. Like staying alive... Syrup aint going to cut it either ;)


Gobo Horde wrote:
Reksew_Trebla wrote:
1: “Yeah so I can make holy water by casting bless water on a flask’s amount of water, so me and my leadership feat, with the max score for followers, 3 Rings of the Ecclesiarch (one on a Hand of Glory), a Suzerain Scepter, and all of the followers being Clerics, are going to mass spam Bless Water on the 70% of the party’s bodies that are water, thus damaging the enemies every time they cut us in combat.”

GM response: "Wait, so you are saying you just removed all the water from that persons body?

Welp. Roll Fort save or die." :p
Holy water is good and all, but you kinda need water for some things. Like staying alive... Syrup aint going to cut it either ;)

does this mean you can cast Bless Water on samsaran blood, in vivo?


Gobo Horde wrote:
Reksew_Trebla wrote:
1: “Yeah so I can make holy water by casting bless water on a flask’s amount of water, so me and my leadership feat, with the max score for followers, 3 Rings of the Ecclesiarch (one on a Hand of Glory), a Suzerain Scepter, and all of the followers being Clerics, are going to mass spam Bless Water on the 70% of the party’s bodies that are water, thus damaging the enemies every time they cut us in combat.”

GM response: "Wait, so you are saying you just removed all the water from that persons body?

Welp. Roll Fort save or die." :p
Holy water is good and all, but you kinda need water for some things. Like staying alive... Syrup aint going to cut it either ;)

Holy water is water though, in the same way a +1 holy longsword is a longsword.


26. Monk of the Empty Hand is holding a book when combat starts.


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27. Throw a book at someone who has the Snatch Arrows Feat.


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28. Face a living grimoire inquisitor who enchanted her grimoire with throwing and returning.

29. Play a living grimoire inquisitor who messed up enchanting her grimoire badly enough to get it cursed.


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30. "...and that concludes my 42-point argument for why you should retire your rogue and re-roll as a different class."

Scarab Sages

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31. Refer to your PC in the GM's decades-old, ten-volume, intrigue-focussed campaign campaign, as your 'toon'.


32. Paragon Surge, especially for "creative" uses. I'm guilty.

Grand Lodge

33. Polymorph into a mosquito


34. Said by the GM at the beginning of session 3 "Okay we're going to change game systems now. But don't worry I've already taken the time to recreate your characters..."


35. Having your Harrow Sorcerer use a carefully marked Munchkin deck.


Coming up with elaborate schemes that reek of absurd powergaming while ignoring a requirement of one of the fundamental parts of the scheme...such as the fact that bless water targets a flask of water, not the water in a person's body.


alientude wrote:
Coming up with elaborate schemes that reek of absurd powergaming while ignoring a requirement of one of the fundamental parts of the scheme...such as the fact that bless water targets a flask of water, not the water in a person's body.

Literally only one point of splash damage against only evil outsiders and undead, and only when you bleed, is considered absurd powergaming to you? Good god, I’d hate to see the temper tantrum you’d throw when a player gets over 1000 damage in a single hit with Mythic Vital Strike.


It's not that the scheme itself is powergaming, it's that the whole method feels like it. If you don't like the word, simply replace it with cheese.


Find a way to make a Deadly Returns Throwing Axe into a book. Then miss your target.


35: For the game of intrigue where the GM has created a deep sandbox political game focused on shades of grey, with deep moral, ethical and religious tones, insist on playing a lawful stupid paladin.

36: For the game of horror where the GM has carefully worked to cultivate the feeling of dread through atmosphere, tone of voice and other narrative tricks. Insist on playing a Jar-Jar Binks inspired character. If asked why, say if it worked for Star Wars, it can work for their game, after all, in a movie with the equivalent of a paladin falling by killing an entire kindergarten full of children, their was ... Jar-Jar, and everyone loves JAR-JAR!!!


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37: create a massively powerful ranger that is a chosen of serenrae and her name is MAry Sue

38: create a paladin of iomedae that tells you that she is a traveling swordswoman and other PCs and their players believe she is a fighter and watch sparks when she starts making saving throws that a fighter should not be able to make.( course this gets better if you can get the gm to get in cahoots with one on it at lets you make 2 character sheets......)

what ?I never said she was a fighter only a traveling swordswoman...


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ChaiGuy wrote:


36: For the game of horror where the GM has carefully worked to cultivate the feeling of dread through atmosphere, tone of voice and other narrative tricks. Insist on playing a Jar-Jar Binks inspired character. If asked why, say if it worked for Star Wars, it can work for their game, after all, in a movie with the equivalent of a paladin falling by killing an entire kindergarten full of children, their was ... Jar-Jar, and everyone loves JAR-JAR!!!

39. for the same horror game, make a character with knowledge checks so high he can tell you everything about what you're up against, thus removing a lot of the fear.


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40. From the oppsite side of a long table: “Hey, can you toss me that rule book?”


41. GM you say this campaigns in a forest
I get a animal companion with a climb speed
Get a bow
Get good ride skill
Ride animal companion
Sit in trees, walk in trees, shoot off of trees with animal companion
Never be touched


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42. Insist that Mysterious Stranger Gunslingers use Wisdom to calculate their maximum Grit for the day instead of Charisma.


43.) “And then my Master Summoner summons 1d4 more lantern archons...”


44)
Player 1 "I did 9 damage on the orc."
GM (Points at player 2) "Ok your turn"
Player 2 "I want to use cure light wounds on the orc."
Player 1 (Pics of book slowly)
GM "Why? What ever roll for it."
Player 2 "Rolled a 8!"
Player 1 (Throws book at player 2 and then gets kicked out of GM's house.)
Explayer 1 "So worth it!"


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45. Use of Weapons of Math Instruction.


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The Sideromancer wrote:
45. Use of Weapons of Math Instruction.

I would, but they keep getting lost in the Cauchy cushions.


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blahpers wrote:
The Sideromancer wrote:
45. Use of Weapons of Math Instruction.
I would, but they keep getting lost in the Cauchy cushions.

*Ψ* {psi or sigh}

47.5) Using a Pathfinder CRB cover on your Hackmaster PHB...


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48. Insist that 0' move is a move up to your movement rate.


49. When the final boss offers to let you join him, play a rogue and accept. Walk up to stand behind him in support. Aim your bow at your now-former party members.

Wait until the boss is gloating, then shoot him in the back with your +2 corrosive burst flaming burst icy burst shocking burst shortbow and confirm a crit.

(That's 12d10 + 17d6 for damage if you get sneak-attack damage as well.)

Silver Crusade

50. Piss off the short-tempered telekinetic while they're studying for exams


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Make an intimdate check at a librarian.

Shadow Lodge

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52) Encourage another player to make a warpriest of Nethys whose sacred weapon is the Improvised Weapon. Then PvP them while they're "studying their spellbook".


53) Insist on playing a mutant with healing touch when you know the GM loves to run Ravenloft campaigns.


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54)Singing opera in the library. The Akashic records are especially strict.

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