What are your silly items?


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Wevi wrote:
Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Wevi wrote:
Haywire build generator wrote:
Wevi wrote:

Walking Hand

This cut off magic elf hand can walk around. The player can control this hand thing with a ring. The hand can talk to the player with the mind. The hand has free will. The hand has lots of gold tucked away.
HP: 100,000,000
AC: 10
Size: Tiny
DR: All damage has no effect

Speed: 10 ft
Climb: 10 ft

Str: 14
Dex: 14
Con: 30
Int: 8
Wis: 6
Cha: 6

Skills
Acrobatics: +10
Climb: +10
Stealth: +10
Disable Device: +8

Mage Hand: Caster Level 20, Can be used 3 + Player Cha Mod

*Casts Shield Other.*
I have no clue what your taking about.
He made your invulnerable hand into a hp damage soaking sponge.
lol I feel stupid
No worries. Happens to the best of us.

Well, excuse me!


Mystic_Snowfang wrote:
Another one I came up with was a bag of glitterizing. It's a cursed bag of holding that gets glitter /all/ over everything put in the bag. And no you can't just wipe it off. It also constantly leaks glitter everywhere and you will end up with every item you own with at least a few bit of glitter on it. (and on you). Why can't you just wipe the glitter off? Because it's glitter.

Why would you want to wipe it off? It makes everything you own look FAB-U-LOUS!

Loren Pechtel wrote:
Obviously this would be much harder to do for a female but you said "he".

Pee funnels for women are an item you can buy in the Real World.


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A +2 backscratcher.

It also helped with the various Bigby's Hand spells.


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You can basically create F.L.U.D.D. by creating two Decanters of Endless Water and making the command words for them the exact same so you can activate them both at the same time, and tying them together to a suit of armor.


SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:
Mystic_Snowfang wrote:
Another one I came up with was a bag of glitterizing. It's a cursed bag of holding that gets glitter /all/ over everything put in the bag. And no you can't just wipe it off. It also constantly leaks glitter everywhere and you will end up with every item you own with at least a few bit of glitter on it. (and on you). Why can't you just wipe the glitter off? Because it's glitter.

Why would you want to wipe it off? It makes everything you own look FAB-U-LOUS!

Loren Pechtel wrote:
Obviously this would be much harder to do for a female but you said "he".
Pee funnels for women are an item you can buy in the Real World.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're practical for actually walking around. They're meant to stand and direct the urine as a male can. I wouldn't think they would be anything like leak-proof if you were walking and I would expect they would be rather irritating.


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I had Clown Shoes of the Elvenkind. Regular bonuses, but the bard simply wouldn't wear them and had a tough time finding a market for them!

Sovereign Court

Glyph of Warding trap on a wooden barrel that casts the spell Mad Monkeys when opened - and see how long it takes the players to notice that it's a barrel of monkeys. Maybe have the monkeys scramble back into the barrel and close the lid at the end of the spell. Which resets the Glyph/trap?

Or a "Wand of Mad Monkeys" in the form of a small barrel shaped box the size and shape of a soda can. Again a Barrel of Monkeys....

Scarab Sages

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here you go, a link to a thread you might like....

Go to this link Continual Flame and high fashion..

Items created with the spelll Continual Flame - the fun part of these are the fact that they are usable in PFS.... and (mostly) all unique.

Here's a few of my creations from over on the other thread...

"The Hot Cloak", a black velvet day cloak, lined in the finest red silk, "Flames" tastefully placed in the lining so that as the cloak moves with the wearer, the flames flash from around her body, giving that devilish look so recently seen in the court at Egorian.

"Flaming Sword of Justice", rumor has it that a Andoran Eagle Knight of some note has been seen using an enchanted blade, a frost weapon, which seems to burst into flame when drawn in combat.

"Fire of the Sun", a golden holy symbol of the Dawnflower herself, set with fire rubies, shrouded in cold "Flames"...


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I had gave one of my players a Handy Haversack that could talk to other Bags and talk to the wearer.


roguerouge wrote:
I had Clown Shoes of the Elvenkind. Regular bonuses, but the bard simply wouldn't wear them and had a tough time finding a market for them!

that's like a red clown nose that grants the Scent(children) ability...

there was just no market for the giant nose that lent Scent(Taldan) or round griant one that lent Scent(puddy-Tat)

Silver Crusade

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The Good Bra.

It's spoken of in whispers, a relic so ancient and so powerful that most discussion regarding it is hushed. There is nothing more terrifying than imagining the sheer power of The Good Bra than the idea that it might not be real at all.

The Good Bra fits it's wearer like a glove, and will change their chest to the size they desire, functioning even as a binder for those who need one.

The Good Bra will never cut into you, it will never hurt your back, and when you run it will never hurt as long as you are wearing The Good Bra.

The Good Bra also functions as a Bra of Holding, because we all know the fabled Pants With Pockets are cursed and should never be worn.


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Cassidy-Allison wrote:

The Good Bra.

It's spoken of in whispers, a relic so ancient and so powerful that most discussion regarding it is hushed. There is nothing more terrifying than imagining the sheer power of The Good Bra than the idea that it might not be real at all.

The Good Bra fits it's wearer like a glove, and will change their chest to the size they desire, functioning even as a binder for those who need one.

The Good Bra will never cut into you, it will never hurt your back, and when you run it will never hurt as long as you are wearing The Good Bra.

The Good Bra also functions as a Bra of Holding, because we all know the fabled Pants With Pockets are cursed and should never be worn.

I'm so saving this.


Cassidy-Allison wrote:

The Good Bra.

It's spoken of in whispers, a relic so ancient and so powerful that most discussion regarding it is hushed. There is nothing more terrifying than imagining the sheer power of The Good Bra than the idea that it might not be real at all.

The Good Bra fits it's wearer like a glove, and will change their chest to the size they desire, functioning even as a binder for those who need one.

The Good Bra will never cut into you, it will never hurt your back, and when you run it will never hurt as long as you are wearing The Good Bra.

The Good Bra also functions as a Bra of Holding, because we all know the fabled Pants With Pockets are cursed and should never be worn.

Lies! The Pants With Pockets is a holy item that must be treasured! While the Good Bra is a very close second.


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Heather 540 wrote:
Cassidy-Allison wrote:

The Good Bra.

It's spoken of in whispers, a relic so ancient and so powerful that most discussion regarding it is hushed. There is nothing more terrifying than imagining the sheer power of The Good Bra than the idea that it might not be real at all.

The Good Bra fits it's wearer like a glove, and will change their chest to the size they desire, functioning even as a binder for those who need one.

The Good Bra will never cut into you, it will never hurt your back, and when you run it will never hurt as long as you are wearing The Good Bra.

The Good Bra also functions as a Bra of Holding, because we all know the fabled Pants With Pockets are cursed and should never be worn.

Lies! The Pants With Pockets is a holy item that must be treasured! While the Good Bra is a very close second.

The bra is worth 100% of what the pants are, but for some reason people wills generally only pay about 70%.


in a totally separate thread... I have seen giants with a fur lined over the shoulder boulder holder.

It's like the female barbarian warlord in flip-flops that went by the name "Sandal" Bergman.


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The Brassier of controlling fire elementals springs to mind
[it might have been summoning]


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

The old 2nd edition collection of lunacy included such marvels as the brassiere of defense...

An all-evil campaign I was in started all of us at first level with a magic item. YAY!

All of them came with a drawback.

The ranger had a magical springloaded blade in his boot.... and would also shrink one inch of height per minute when he failed to assert dominance meeting new people.

My cleric had an amulet that let him cast one of his spells again- any level, any spell, even if he'd already expended it for the day. However, every time he did so, there was an outside chance that Something Extremely Bad would happen. One time we got stuck in an extradimensional maze when I went for one more casting of Cure Light Wounds

The wizard (who multiclassed into rogue) had an extremely limited form of a Hat of Disguise- he could look like whoever he'd slept with last. Stark naked. By far and away the item we actually got the most mileage out of, 'cause a stark naked person in the middle of a public scenario is a hell of a distraction.

The bard had a ring that made him invisible to male creatures only. You would think we'd get a lot of mileage out of this, but while it rendered him invisible to such creatures, it also allowed them track him as if they had the Scent quality.

Later in the same campaign, we killed a bugbear who had magical golden tusks that made his charge attacks more effective. We ripped 'em out of his head and had them crudely installed in the ranger's crocodile animal companion (who was our real frontline combat MVP anyway). That croc was pretty blinged-out by the time that game ended...

Then there's the Headband of Politeness.... the bane of many a party...


Grumbaki wrote:

Dagger of Healing.

Does damage like a normal dagger, but then heals for 2x damage dealt.

Great when fighting undead!


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I came up with a few cute ones in my home game:

Mask of the parakeet - a domino-style mask adorned with colorful feathers. Once per day it can be activated to cast ventriloquism, but only to make bird calls.

Bathtub ring - this magical ring is made of dark wood and feels wet to the touch. When activated, once per day, it turns into a large wooden washtub in which the former wearer is standing.

Bolt of cloth - this magical crossbow bolt, upon striking a target, turns into a large 10'x10' blanket (which does no damage but potentially ensnares a target like a net).

Pièce de résistance - this magical gold piece grants a +1 resistance bonus to saving throws when it is kept in the owner's belt pouch.


Peet wrote:
Grumbaki wrote:

Dagger of Healing.

Does damage like a normal dagger, but then heals for 2x damage dealt.

Great when fighting undead!

Only if it's positive energy healing.


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A little bit silly

I made a cleaning rag. It is a use activated rag that casts prestidigitation to clean.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

A silly item we included in every game my brother and me played when we were kids was the Half-Orc Dirty Magazine, a Half-Orc version of Playboy that when read would traumatize the reader so badly they'd fall backwards down the stairs. Even in the middle of a desert with no stairs nearby, somehow this magazine would conjure a flight of stairs right behind anyone unfortunate enough to see the pictures of half-orc models within. Originally just pencilled in to a PC's inventory as a joke by our equally immature DM, we quickly weaponized the magazine, and then we used its power to create stairs to generate an entirely new dungeon for one session (the aforementioned flight of stairs in the middle of an empty desert).

I no longer find the joke all that funny as I have seen many pictures of cute or pretty half-orcs thanks to Paizo's talented illustrators.

Grand Lodge

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Be playing half-orc ranger. Loves to live off the land and takes pride in using every part of the animal. When he hunts, all left over meat was quickly turned to jerky and placed in a large belt pouch. The character would always have jerky on hand.

Even when the bag was full, he would continue to make jerky and place it within the bag. Due to his dedication, the gods turned it into a endless bag of jerky. Which he kindly shared with everyone he ever came into contact with.

The same character also found a belt of teleportation. The belt had a pressure sensitive switch located on the buckle that when pressed would teleport the wielder 10 feet in the direction the belt was facing. Was an amazing item and was of great use during and out of combat, but not so great when the character rolls over in the middle of the night and teleported 10 feet into the ground.


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Nodrog wrote:

Last week I came up with an item for venerable aged female characters.

A handbag of whippersnapper bane. Adds a +10 to hit any character half the wielder's age or younger. Does non lethal damage.

And now I want to make a venerable Elf enforcer/sap master rogue. Scary granny!


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what about a little hand held vacuum that sucks up incorporeals into a little jar, dubbed a "Ghost-buster"

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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In the days of 2nd Edition, the elf ranger acquired a married couple of intelligent magical swords.

More recently, I ran the PCs through a monkey-themed tomb where they acquired a lot of monkey-themed items. A belt of monkey tail that makes you good at climbing, a monkey paw that let's you cast Bigby's Hand (in the shape of a monkey's paw), etc.

Sovereign Court

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It was a long time ago in an old D&D game (before 1st Ed.)...

DM says, "the magic item your PC just put on is cursed, but it's a minor curse."
Player: "Arg! What's the bad news?"
DM, "It makes your eyes glow red in the dark, and dogs and small children of all races are afraid of you."
Player: "Ok, I got that. Now, what's the curse? what's the bad part?"
DM says, "It makes your eyes glow red in the dark, and dogs and small children of all races are afraid of you."
Player: "Yeah - but, what's the curse?"
DM: "that's the curse"
Player: "Huh?"

In the example above the Player thought the curse was Kewl - even better than what the other "non-cursed" items they had found did. After all, just think about it! Your character has glowing red eyes and dogs and small children of all races cower in fear of you!

The DM thought it was ... well, a curse.

I don't think they ever got around to actually NAMING the item (a cloak) - but it go used for many games...

Sometimes curses are all in the eyes of the viewer...

The Exchange

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I just thought of a useful "silly item"...

Aram Zeys Paint:

Aura moderate (school varies); CL 7th
Slot special; Price 700 gp; Weight —
Description
Related to magical Shoanti War Paint, this substance was developed by Aram Zey for use by his students on expeditions when their team failed to have someone trained in Trap removal. This thimble-sized clay container of thick, moist, red face paint has enough material to paint large round blotches on a creature’s cheeks/face. Once applied, the wearer can, as a swift action, activate the paint to receive a casting of Aram Zey's Focus (CL7) on themselves.

Once applied, the wearer has 24 hours to use the paint’s magic; If not used in that time it fades away. Once activated, the paint becomes non-magical (it is a one use item).

(note: the clay used in the making of this paint tends to stain the users cheeks a bright red. This color fades over time, but normally lasts for a few (d4+1) days even after being washed off. Thus a common name for this item is "Rogues' Rouge".)

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Aram Zey's Focus; Cost 50 gp

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Muse. wrote:

It was a long time ago in an old D&D game (before 1st Ed.)...

DM says, "the magic item your PC just put on is cursed, but it's a minor curse."
Player: "Arg! What's the bad news?"
DM, "It makes your eyes glow red in the dark, and dogs and small children of all races are afraid of you."
Player: "Ok, I got that. Now, what's the curse? what's the bad part?"
DM says, "It makes your eyes glow red in the dark, and dogs and small children of all races are afraid of you."
Player: "Yeah - but, what's the curse?"
DM: "that's the curse"
Player: "Huh?"

In the example above the Player thought the curse was Kewl - even better than what the other "non-cursed" items they had found did. After all, just think about it! Your character has glowing red eyes and dogs and small children of all races cower in fear of you!

The DM thought it was ... well, a curse.

I don't think they ever got around to actually NAMING the item (a cloak) - but it go used for many games...

Sometimes curses are all in the eyes of the viewer...

TECHNICALLY Lycanthropy is a curse, but if I got a nip and then became stronger, faster, tougher, and got the ability to turn into an animal, I would consider that a blessing, not a curse!


SmiloDan wrote:


TECHNICALLY Lycanthropy is a curse, but if I got a nip and then became stronger, faster, tougher, and got the ability to turn into an animal, I would consider that a blessing, not a curse!

Which would be why there's advice all over the place saying that when an infected lycanthrope takes animal form, they also cede control of their character to the GM.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

I meant me when I said I, not my PC. :-D

Liberty's Edge

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Delusional ring of three wishes

Makes everyone that hears the wish [including the wisher, and so long as they share the language the wish is spoken in] believe it was granted on a failed will save.

My group is currently traveling with a figment of their imagination, whom originally had died in battle.

It proved to be a nice game ender with everyone getting a delusion.

But the Ring of Horsemanship
[Functions as a ring of Animal Friendship only with horses, made for a character that could not make ride checks.]

Talisman of Languages
[allows a single language to be spoken and understood, but not read]

Staff of Color Manipulation
[5/day- Cast prestidigitation, but only to change the color of clothes and objects]


SmiloDan wrote:
I meant me when I said I, not my PC. :-D

You trust your real-life GM that much?


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I don't have this item yet, but I'm seriously considering it. Wings of Flying for my boar.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

the nerve-eater of Zur-en-Aarh wrote:
SmiloDan wrote:
I meant me when I said I, not my PC. :-D
You trust your real-life GM that much?

28 out of 29 days. ;-)


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Black Mamba- cloak of resistance +5, prestidigitation keeps it clean and flowing back dramatically regardless of conditions, floating disk greater 1/day, and grants a +10 to perform(grand entrance) checks

Rod of Bureaucratic Casting- as quicken rod greater but once you are no longer in combat you may not cast spells again until you fill out paperwork for a number of hours equal to the sum of the levels of the spells quickened

3.5's grog of substantial whimsy is always a good time


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nosig wrote:

I just thought of a useful "silly item"... Thus a common name for this item is "Rogues' Rouge"

** spoiler omitted **

I approve of this item.

Silver Crusade

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Tink_ wrote:

A little bit silly

I made a cleaning rag. It is a use activated rag that casts prestidigitation to clean.

I created the exact same thing in one of my games for my players, but the curse was a little more complex.

1) if you didn't clean one item that day, when you went tor draw a weapon, you would draw the rag instead.

2) To get rid of it, you had to clean two or more items and then hand it off to somebody else.

It made for an immaculately clean party.


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My first time DM'ing I created a magic item called the Gamble. Small baseball-sized orb filled with shifting black smoke and small flashed of electricity.

Thing packed the punch of 5 wishes and a Deck of Many Things.

Whenever a player threw one at an enemy, they rolled a d100 to determine the outcome. Three types of outcome: good, bad, neutral; with an equal chance for each (although 100=most good and 001=most bad) Every single number on that d100 had a totally unique outcome and frankly they were all absurd. Basically it was just a big creative exercise for me, but the players loved them.

Some of the best/worst/most memorable outcomes:
- Conjure a small eruption of magma
- All of the user's blood drains from them and forms an icicle, which launches at the enemy
- Duplicates the enemy, gear and all
- You hear the voice of a British man in your armor shouting things like "On your left! Behind you! Wait for it, now parry!" You gain a +5 dodge bonus to AC
- As you throw the Gamble, the world around you seems to shift and distort. Suddenly, you are all fighting INSIDE a giant Gamble. GM rolls each round for a new Gamble effect.
- For one round, every attack is considered a natural 20. Enemies included.
- The enemy immediately dissolves into a pile of gold coins equal to their CR x 100.
- The Gamble simply bounces off the enemy and begins to ricochet around the room, picking up speed with each collision. Each round the damage inflicted by the Gamble on anything it hits increases. After 5 rounds, the Gamble inflicts 1d100 bludgeoning damage and shatters.

TERRIBLE idea that is the exact opposite of balanced and should never be used in any sane game of DnD or Pathfinder. But a helluva lot of fun.

The Exchange

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we used to make something we called "Guard Posts" which were a tent post with a magic mouth spell cast on it with instructions that if any creature larger than a house cat were to approach it from the "front" of the post while it is stuck in the ground the spell would shout "Sargent of the Guard, intruder at Post number (insert post number)!" for the duration of the spell (several rounds at least). We would then set a number of these out around the camp at night (fronts facing out) and collect them in the morning (approaching them from "behind" them, not from their "back"). Each post had a different number. During a "night encounter" our DM actually had one of the bad guys cast several AOE spells on "the camp guards" that he couldn't see - trying to silence them, it was great fun.


Heather 540 wrote:
I don't have this item yet, but I'm seriously considering it. Wings of Flying for my boar.

Has you visited your local used trebuchet dealer? 8^) then you just need a wand of glide


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Azothath wrote:
Heather 540 wrote:
I don't have this item yet, but I'm seriously considering it. Wings of Flying for my boar.
Has you visited your local used trebuchet dealer? 8^) then you just need a wand of glide

Nah, I want my boar to be able to fly. Then the next time someone goes 'When pigs fly,' I'll just point to my boar. XD


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I don't know if it qualifies as "silly", but I received a very 'quirky' weapon in a game a long-long time ago.

After a tough fight, my high level fighter found a magic sword.
A +4 sword of sharpness (game was 1st edition). Pretty awesome.

The sword turned out to also be intelligent and could speak (audibly).
It was also an abject coward.
Whenever I tried to use it, I had to win a test of wills against it's ego. If I didn't win, it refused to let me unsheathe it, or tried to twist itself from my grasp the whole fight.

Either way, it loudly protested any thought of being used in a fight.
"Aaagh!!! What are you doing?! Run away!! You're not sticking me in THAT thing! That's disgusting! Help! Anybody! This murderous thug is trying to get me killed!!!"
You get the picture.

So, our respective Ego/Will scores meant that on average, the sword would win about 20% of the time. But since (when I was in control) it was so dang useful, I couldn't bring myself to part with it.

The rest party wanted me to get rid of it, though. Mainly because, even if I had control, its protests and screams tended to attract more monsters.


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I have a mundane silly item, that has become a running joke in my group.

When out-fitting for an adventure, my character always goes out of his way to make sure to get an eleven foot pole.
"No, no no, good merchant. This selection will just not do. Not do at all." "I need an eleven foot pole. Not ten. E-l-e-v-e-n."

While it seems silly on the surface, the reasons for insisting on it (other than humorous role-playing), are sound ones.
A large number of traps (that the pole may trip) have a 10 ft. radius.
A large number of pits are 10 ft. across. (the pole can now span that, and not fall in).
Easier to use, when vaulting 10 ft. walls.

Ten feet, is a common distance in the game.
Having those extra inches comes in handy. (giggety)


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Shells of the Valiant Steed

This pair of empty coconut shells, when banged together for a full round action, casts a mount spell. (6 hour duration)
They can be used twice per day.


Ahhh the coconuts, now we just need the edible bards... I knew there'd be a use for the new ooze class... Gummy Bards


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Also on the not exactly an item front, my brother was in a campaign where he managed to contract blue whale lycanthropy. A campaign set almost entirely in a desert; as reported, this meant a couple of full moons where the building being explored was suddenly entirely destroyed by his transformation, and the DM granted that lycanthropes had enough supernatural strength for him not to be crushed or suffocated by his own weight out of water, but he did not have the strength to actually do much of anything on land. He developed a rather impressive talent for long strings of what was clearly profanity in whalesong.

The Exchange

A book, entitled "The Tactical Use of the Spell Magic Missile" which, when studied for some time (say 24 hours), has two effects - one known and one unknown.

Known: When casting the spell Magic Missile, the caster throws one additional missile.

Unknown: All missiles thrown do 1 HP less than normal (1d4 rather than 1d4+1).

The Tactics, once studied and learned, take a remove curse to unlearn. (and are unlikely to be discovered in the game).


PodTrooper wrote:

I have a mundane silly item, that has become a running joke in my group.

When out-fitting for an adventure, my character always goes out of his way to make sure to get an eleven foot pole.
"No, no no, good merchant. This selection will just not do. Not do at all." "I need an eleven foot pole. Not ten. E-l-e-v-e-n."

While it seems silly on the surface, the reasons for insisting on it (other than humorous role-playing), are sound ones.
A large number of traps (that the pole may trip) have a 10 ft. radius.
A large number of pits are 10 ft. across. (the pole can now span that, and not fall in).
Easier to use, when vaulting 10 ft. walls.

Ten feet, is a common distance in the game.
Having those extra inches comes in handy. (giggety)

That is bloody genius.


Nodrog wrote:
PodTrooper wrote:

I have a mundane silly item, that has become a running joke in my group.

When out-fitting for an adventure, my character always goes out of his way to make sure to get an eleven foot pole.
"No, no no, good merchant. This selection will just not do. Not do at all." "I need an eleven foot pole. Not ten. E-l-e-v-e-n."

While it seems silly on the surface, the reasons for insisting on it (other than humorous role-playing), are sound ones.
A large number of traps (that the pole may trip) have a 10 ft. radius.
A large number of pits are 10 ft. across. (the pole can now span that, and not fall in).
Easier to use, when vaulting 10 ft. walls.

Ten feet, is a common distance in the game.
Having those extra inches comes in handy. (giggety)

That is bloody genius.

I would suggest buying a bundle of 3ft poles with connectors that allow them to be linked together to form larger poles.

"11 feet? Hah, I can manage 30. And I can walk through a doorway without getting my pole caught on it."

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