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Goblin croquette of course
Or maybe goblin croquet
Serious answer-ignore them.
Joke answer-adopt them and train them for whatever weird plot you come up with.
I roll for craft (cooking)
....or order to feed the poor little guys.
....with the meat left over from all the dead goblins strew about 'for some reason'.
FIREBALL!
That is terrible!
Goblin meat is best prepared rare. You need to soak it in milk to get out the strong smell/taste though.
...Do you have any idea how many parasites Goblin meat has?
You also need purify food and drink, obviously.
Although, among some connoisseurs, goblin meat is viewed like Casu marzu- the parasites trying to eat you back is just part of the experience.
And yes, Casu marzu is a real food...and I am just going to throw out the phrase "can launch themselves for distances up to 15 cm (6 in)". No particular reason. Totally unrelated.
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Not a single 'Oh no, they're cute!'?
Did any of you click on the link? No?
Not a single 'Oh no, they're cute!'?
Did any of you click on the link? No?
'tis a Facepuke link. Not everyone has sold their worthless souls er insignificant social lives ... er ... copious free time to Facepuke. ;)
As with that Orc thread, I would be willing to take whatever Evil points it gave me to kill the babies and spend the rest of my life protecting people from the adults.
They do not operate on the same morality or logic as human beings and they don't deserve to be treated like it.
...Do you have any idea how many parasites Goblin meat has?You also need purify food and drink, obviously.
Although, among some connoisseurs, goblin meat is viewed like Casu marzu- the parasites trying to eat you back is just part of the experience.
And yes, Casu marzu is a real food...and I am just going to throw out the phrase "can launch themselves for distances up to 15 cm (6 in)". No particular reason. Totally unrelated.
Casu Marzu doesn't contain human parasites, just maggots for extra protein.
[But yeah, Purify Food and Drink ought to do the trick for rare Goblinflesh]
And goblins have human parasites?
No, I am much, much more willing to believe they are filled with thing that would jump up and try to eat my face.
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My favorite story I've been told from before I joined my gaming group, was exactly this, except with kobolds. Knowing the powerful group of leaders were awake in the next room, the rogue sees a few dozen sleeping baby kobolds and says "My god says they must die". He proceeded to coup de grace several of them before the ones in charge walked in. They lasted maybe 3 rounds before the TPK.
And before anyone says anything, our group actually supports "It's what my character would do" when it is just our group. Obviously we don't want a serial killer who kills anyone and everyone, but even with TPKs we laugh and enjoy the hell out of these kinds of situations.
My favorite story I've been told from before I joined my gaming group, was exactly this, except with kobolds. Knowing the powerful group of leaders were awake in the next room, the rogue sees a few dozen sleeping baby kobolds and says "My god says they must die". He proceeded to coup de grace several of them before the ones in charge walked in. They lasted maybe 3 rounds before the TPK.
And before anyone says anything, our group actually supports "It's what my character would do" when it is just our group. Obviously we don't want a serial killer who kills anyone and everyone, but even with TPKs we laugh and enjoy the hell out of these kinds of situations.
I might still call you out on that, but it is more of a 'rp over basic tactics' thing, when the character might, just might, want to make sure he doesn't get caught and killed by the guards as well.
Baby murder can occur after you do clean up. Really, as a rogue, you are rather sloppy- poor scouting job, good chap.
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I adopt them, just like I do with the adult goblins I encounter.
Well, if it is a situation like we ended up in a very short-run home-adventure, I'd adopt them, care for them, teach them all the ways that everyone is messed up, and how to read, write, and take baths.
And after that Herculean task was complete, I'd start feeling out their capabilities and making sure they got good reliable training in whatever career they wanted to undertake.
Goal: Eventually goblins join the ranks of 'truly civilized peoples' and willingly eradicate/educate their ignorant kin. Win-win-win.
Human Paladin: Clearly, we must provide a better upbringing for them, that they may aspire to a better life than their barbaric forbears and set an example for the rest of their race.
Goblin Wizard: Quite! If Goblins are to take their rightful place as the dominant species of the world, we'll need to start giving our youth a proper education rather than the tribal nonsense they usually get. I've been working on my Goblin Excellence Educational Supplement Encyclopedia for the past few years. I'll need more youth than this to get the first-generation academy running, but it's a good start. With my patronage and planning, these infants will grow up to be the first generation of benign goblin overlords to rule over the lesser races!
Human Paladin: ... all in favor of exterminating the goblins?
Everyone else: Aye
In 1e monsters actually had special stats... younglin goblins were trreated as kobolds
baby orcs were treated as goblins.... so ummm with actual state for babies....uhhh errr the intent was for combat.
Who says a baby goblin is defenseless? where does it say that? Or its it just a weaker goblin?
at what age does something start being chaotic evil and swinging a dog slicer? is that written anywhere?
In the animal kingdom some of the babies can walk minutes after birth.
some of the young predators begin hunting and killing very early.
Goblins have a short life span...so when do they start , well being "gobos"?
If you find a nest of spiders...do you squash it burn it or poison it, or do you hope for a kinder brighter world with less scary icky venomous critters?
In 1e monsters actually had special stats... younglin goblins were trreated as kobolds
baby orcs were treated as goblins.... so ummm with actual state for babies....uhhh errr the intent was for combat.
Who says a baby goblin is defenseless? where does it say that? Or its it just a weaker goblin?
at what age does something start being chaotic evil and swinging a dog slicer? is that written anywhere?
In the animal kingdom some of the babies can walk minutes after birth.
some of the young predators begin hunting and killing very early.
Goblins have a short life span...so when do they start , well being "gobos"?
If you find a nest of spiders...do you squash it burn it or poison it, or do you hope for a kinder brighter world with less scary icky venomous critters?
Sapient creatures cannot really be compared to reptiles and arthropods, the primary type of creatures that fit into the 'can immediately walk and hunt'.
The mere fact of being a mammal does a lot to limit that assumption, but the fact they're sapient does it even more. Unless your world features some truly bizarre humanoid biology, it's unlikely what this post is asserting is remotely relevant.
In 1e monsters actually had special stats... younglin goblins were trreated as kobolds
baby orcs were treated as goblins.... so ummm with actual state for babies....uhhh errr the intent was for combat.
Who says a baby goblin is defenseless? where does it say that? Or its it just a weaker goblin?
at what age does something start being chaotic evil and swinging a dog slicer? is that written anywhere?
In the animal kingdom some of the babies can walk minutes after birth.
some of the young predators begin hunting and killing very early.
Goblins have a short life span...so when do they start , well being "gobos"?
If you find a nest of spiders...do you squash it burn it or poison it, or do you hope for a kinder brighter world with less scary icky venomous critters?
Sapient creatures cannot really be compared to reptiles and arthropods, the primary type of creatures that fit into the 'can immediately walk and hunt'.
The mere fact of being a mammal does a lot to limit that assumption, but the fact they're sapient does it even more. Unless your world features some truly bizarre humanoid biology, it's unlikely what this post is asserting is remotely relevant.
they are goblins, simply because they are sapient and bi pedal does not mean they adhere to the same stages of "infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood"
IS an OLD goblin feeble? should it not be slain?
There is no definition...Monster goblins are, upon existence or being discovered; CE and dangerous to PC races; unless written as otherwise.... "because PC goblins dont have to be evil" doesnt change the base monster.
If you find a nest of spiders...do you squash it burn it or poison it, or do you hope for a kinder brighter world with less scary icky venomous critters?Leave it alone and let nature do what nature does.
If it's in my house I'll move it outside if it's accessible to do so, otherwise I burn it.
you would set fire to a spider nest in your home??
ok...now what if they are giant, intelligent man eating spiders and you find a nest?
In 1e monsters actually had special stats... younglin goblins were trreated as kobolds
baby orcs were treated as goblins.... so ummm with actual state for babies....uhhh errr the intent was for combat.
Who says a baby goblin is defenseless? where does it say that? Or its it just a weaker goblin?
at what age does something start being chaotic evil and swinging a dog slicer? is that written anywhere?
In the animal kingdom some of the babies can walk minutes after birth.
some of the young predators begin hunting and killing very early.
Goblins have a short life span...so when do they start , well being "gobos"?
If you find a nest of spiders...do you squash it burn it or poison it, or do you hope for a kinder brighter world with less scary icky venomous critters?
Sapient creatures cannot really be compared to reptiles and arthropods, the primary type of creatures that fit into the 'can immediately walk and hunt'.
The mere fact of being a mammal does a lot to limit that assumption, but the fact they're sapient does it even more. Unless your world features some truly bizarre humanoid biology, it's unlikely what this post is asserting is remotely relevant.
so youve never encountered intelligent spiders in your gaming?
I distinctly recall making saving throws against spells cast by a few....
The ones in the hobbit had lines....Im assuming speaking meant sentience.
Are Orcas non sentient? I would argue they very much are.
would you trust young ones around your children? Or kill them if they posed a threat to your family?
Just because something is smart and free thinking doesnt mean it wont eat you.
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These questions always make me want to ask "So your party of pure elves stumble upon a nursery of baby humans in the bandits hide out what do you do?"
Obviously these humans where evil and vile creatures and you swiftly dispatched them. So whats to say the babies before you are not already evil and vile and just unable to act upon their vile natures?
We have all heard the horrible things humans can do to one another? Do you really want one of THOSE running around your home?
Are Orcas non sentient? I would argue they very much are.
would you trust young ones around your children? Or kill them if they posed a threat to your family?Of course you don't go around thrusting your children at any pair of jaws you find, what does that have to do with this? Are you equating the list of people I don't trust as babysitters with the list of people who need to be slaughtered?
Otherwise, why is an orca posing a threat to my family, exactly? Did it flop out of the water and shimmy into my house and start niibbling on somebody? Yes, kill it.
Or did I go to IT'S home (with my family?? on vacation to oroca infested waters??) and then getting all fussy when it is nearby being potentially dangerous? Too bad, I'M the home intruder if so. Do you think it should hold up in court if I break into your house, wearing my baby, and then shoot you because I thought you were looking at me threateningly and you were a threat to my family?
I am like 9.9999999% sure he meant Orcs not Orca as in the killer whale.
It depends on the situation. If the babies are in immediate danger, then I take them to safety if I can. If they are not in danger and there are guardians nearby, I leave them alone.
Even if there are no guardians nearby, I still leave them, because what is there to do? There are no goblin orphanages, and most orphanages will not take in goblins. And I will not dedicate the next few years of my life to raising goblins, so all I can do is hope they can fend for themselves.
Although a fine, well-fed dwarven upbringing would set the little imps straight.
These questions always make me want to ask "So your party of pure elves stumble upon a nursery of baby humans in the bandits hide out what do you do?"
Obviously these humans where evil and vile creatures and you swiftly dispatched them. So whats to say the babies before you are not already evil and vile and just unable to act upon their vile natures?
We have all heard the horrible things humans can do to one another? Do you really want one of THOSE running around your home?
The difference is that Humans don't have a biological predisposition to murder/pyromania despite being raised in a good environment. Monster races naturally gravitate to being monsters, as dumb as that is.
You can change that as a DM, but the standard assumption is pretty bleak.
I adopt them, just like I do with the adult goblins I encounter.
You really must stop adopting the small sized races just because they are child sized. That halfing couple got rather cross last time, and now the guards know our faces...