Pathfinder Forums Memes that Grind Your Gears


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I had cultists once.

Then I ate them.


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That's what cultists are for! The trick is pacing yourself so you don't run out/get gas.


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Another Ashiel Cultist wrote:
Wraithstrike Minion #1 wrote:

It grinds my gears that the omnipotent Lord Wraithstrike is still not acknowledged as supreme glorious leader of all!!!

ALL HAIL LORD WRAITHSTRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No! Lady Ashiel is far superior!!!

*Opens mouth*

*Closes mouth*

Nevermind.


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Fools!

Cultists are the pebbles I grind into the dust that makes up the concrete that forms the foundation my Empire was built on!


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Ha! You have an empire of dust.


revaar wrote:
thejeff wrote:
Yeah, I found that thread, but it didn't seem common enough here to qualify for "meme". Maybe the hammer/arm/anvil stuff is more widespread, but I haven't really noticed it.

The Forge of Combat stuff pops up pretty often in the Advice Forum in the numerous "Here's my party: What should I play?" threads. It's usually brought up as an analysis of what roles the party currently has, what they are lacking, and how that lack is expected to affect the group in combat.

What grinds my gears:

1: People who seem obsessed with the with the reletive number of e's and l's in the word rol_play, or shame people who play in a different manner than they themselves do.
1b: People who fall into the Stormwind Fallacy (Roleplay and Rollplay are not discrete)

2: People who cannot grasp the separation of mechanics and fluff.

3: (In advice threads) "How can I best build [x] idea?" "Your idea sucks/isn't optimal, play [y] instead."
3b: "The DM has [x] houserules, what can I do with this?" "Those houserules are broken."

4: Alignment/Paladin threads.
4b: Jokes about Paladin threads.

5: People who post without reading the thread.

Can I complain about how tall this Wall of Words is without reading the hundreds of posts?

I recently saw a topic where the OP just put up a link that wouldn't let me see unless I signed in first. Copy and paste the parts you want to discuss, or forget it. Can you summarize the part of the product that costs 20 bucks that you are referring to? Most of the time it's not even a Pazio product.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Something Looney Tunes-esque

Wait...what?


Cap'n Yesterday, Evil Overlord wrote:

Fools!

Cultists are the pebbles I grind into the dust that makes up the concrete that forms the foundation my Empire was built on!

Know your place, minion.


A demiplane where you are never supposed to leave. There was one on the back of a turtle where if you tried to escape by air or sea you automatically washed up on the far shore as an undead. I hid the topic.

Then there are low magic topics where no one can get above 10th character level. Miraculous magic is the whole point of the game. There are several topics I've hid.

If you want to DM a game with no Raise Dead, Reincarnation, Resurrection, Wish, or other such spells, and you are looking for similar players in your area, fine. My hiding the topic won't impact that. I don't want the threads I am interested in being pushed down off the page when I have 100 topic per page. I am interested in systems where it can take up to an hour for a character to die. I also don't mind interesting systems that cause consequences when a character is raised, such as undead being created or some NPC dropping dead. These all show that the OP is willing to meet others half way.


So, are people giving you flak about hiding topics? Your third paragraph kinda confuses me.


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Whenever someone capitalizes either ROLE or ROLL in the same sentence as the word "player" or "playing".


TOZ wrote:
thegreenteagamer wrote:
Truly, I wonder why people care so much about what is or is not underpowered. If you feel a class, race, feat, trait, item, or other choice is inferior, then do not play it. It really is that simple.

I walked into 3.5 wanting to play a Final Fantasy Tactics Monk.

I got the 3.5 Monk.

A monk with the Forceborn mutation would rock like Goku.

Go to Leveled Mutations.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
So, are people giving you flak about hiding topics? Your third paragraph kinda confuses me.

One person sent me a PM asking why I didn't explain why I hid the topic, and I thought I did. I'm finally getting back to reading PMs.

Another Troll put up a topic and claimed that if no one argued with him, that they would revise Pathfinder to suit him. I had to respond that if no one responded, that they were the only ones that could play that way and everyone else hiding the topic probably carried some weight with the game designers. That person is probably still waiting for "their" version of Pathfinder to come out.


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People writing reviews of books they haven't read, and whose reviews are either based on the product description, speculation, or commentary by other people.

Alternatively, people writing reviews/posting threads about how a game product completely sucks, because they were disappointed/didn't like some feature, which may have amounted to 4 pages in a 200 page book.

People writing long complaint posts and rants about a product, based on third hand information that was either incomplete or inaccurate.


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Goth Guru wrote:
Miraculous magic is the whole point of the game.

Don't people define "the whole point of the game" for themselves?


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This is Lord Wraithstrike and I expect to be called "Lord Wraithstrike" or something equally respectful such as Wraithstrike the Magnificent Overlord.

That is all. I now return this forum to you lesser beings.


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wraithstrike wrote:


That is all. I now return this forum to you lesser beings.

It's cute that you think that.


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TarkXT wrote:
wraithstrike wrote:


That is all. I now return this forum to you lesser beings.
It's cute that you think that.

Infidel. <in my crazy dictator voice>


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baleful glare

This shall not stand.


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wraithstrike wrote:
This is Lord Wraithstrike and I expect to be called "Lord Wraithstrike" or something equally respectful such as Wraithstrike the Magnificent Overlord.

How about LW, for Loony Wanker?


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"You're a Loony~!"

"I AM EEN-VEEN-SI-BAAAAALLLL~!"


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This shall not stand we will call upon the powers of our Korean Spammer Bots to decimate you.....FOR LORD WRAITHSTRIKE!!!


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Wraithstrike Minion #1 wrote:
This shall not stand we will call upon the powers of our Korean Spammer Bots to decimate you.....FOR LORD WRAITHSTRIKE!!!

Hey, hey, now. No need to get crazy. I'm an anarchic ball of limitless rage and hatred, but even I have standards.


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wraithstrike wrote:

This is Lord Wraithstrike and I expect to be called "Lord Wraithstrike" or something equally respectful such as Wraithstrike the Magnificent Overlord.

That is all. I now return this forum to you lesser beings.

Bah! I bow to no False Overlord! Only Lord Ashiel deserves such respect!


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*sad pout* I want some followers. Come on people. I'll let you be variant tea gamers. First one up gets to be theblackteagamer. It comes with a nifty tea-shirt. See what I did there? Cool huh? Follow me--eeeeeeee!

I'm never gonna get minions.


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They're overrated anyway.


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Another Ashiel Cultist wrote:
wraithstrike wrote:

This is Lord Wraithstrike and I expect to be called "Lord Wraithstrike" or something equally respectful such as Wraithstrike the Magnificent Overlord.

That is all. I now return this forum to you lesser beings.

Bah! I bow to no False Overlord! Only Lord Ashiel deserves such respect!

I should have my minions smite you. On the other hand I want you to witness my takeover of the entire multiverse, then when you are begging for mercy you will know the error of you ways. However, it shall be to late unless you repent and repent soon.


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That green tea gamer, he's a pretty awesome guy. And he likes tea!

You go, Green Tea Gamer! You're my hero!!!


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All of my forum related dreams have finally achieved fruition! Your shirt is in the mail! Don't worry, I know your address. All tea gamers have a strong psychic connection. Incidentally, your mom was right about that last thing she warned you about. I won't post it here, but, you know.

Who next? White? Oolong? Pur-eh?

Herbal or red, for those of you who enjoy my presence, but aren't willing to fully commit? (They aren't technically teas, not being from the camellia sinensis plant, but are rather mere infusions.) Auxiliary members!


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thegreenteagamer wrote:
Don't worry, I know your address. All tea gamers have a strong psychic connection. Incidentally, your mom was right about that last thing she warned you about. I won't post it here, but, you know.

O.O

The Green Tea Gamer knows all!!!!!


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He even forsaw this misspelling of his title and created an alias just for it weeks ago! *dun dun Duuuuuuun*

No, my favorites of both posts are not shameless positive reinforcement for doing more or less what I asked a few posts ago. I genuinely enjoyed the posts. The massive ego boost is mere icing on the cake. I swear. Totally. Stop looking at me like that, it's true!


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I'm vaguely aware of the fact that when you have followers, you're supposed to have rules, commands, maybe a holy book or two?

Hm.

Thou shalt not drinkith the Lipton, for it is vile, and verily shall it make you regret having wasted the holy plant.

Thou mayest drinketh hot, and thou mayest drinketh iced, but yay, if the drink is tepid, the sorrow will falleth upon ye.

Removeth thine bag before the tannins spread, and the bitterness is come to fruition.

Thou shalt not puncture thine bag, unless ye enjoy the finely powder ground Japanese style, and verily, pride doth thou have, for thegreenteagamer can only drinketh thine style in shots and not cups.

Thou mayest drinketh the coffee, for yay she is our ally, but always remember the superiority of the tea. (Unless it is Lipton, for the first commandment was not a joke, though thegreenteagamer doth joketh far too much to know when he is serious.)

Thou shalt only present the instant tea with lots of sugar already mixed in to the youth, as a way for training them for the holy drink. Remember though that it is only for the child, for verily it be damnnear Kool Aid in presentation and flavor.

Thou shalt not hold thy leader up to expectations of ten commandments. Verily, for though he is creative, he is also lazy. Yay and verily. This cannot be emphasized enough. Let us throw another verily in there for good measure.

Be fruitful, but remember, if thou art too fruitful, thou art herbal, and not of the holy plant. Unless thou art, ye know, black or green tea with thine fruit added, which be quite delicious, and verily as I writeth this, I wishith I had a bag or two of pomegranate green, but nay, mine cabinet hath only vanilla flavored black at the moment and blueberry, for mine wife drinketh all the good stuff, and yay, she can do that, for she controlleth mine source of happiness, if thou knoweth what I'm getting at.


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See? THIS is why I have chosen to be your follower.

That was hilarious.

Except the part about Lipton. That was just honest truth.


So who will become 138ben?
Although, I may already have a couple followers...


But Twinings is okay, right? I can't do without my Irish Breakfast (and Laosang Suchong, but it is sadly hard to find).


I will happily drink Twinings solely because they had this animation made.


I actually think tea is terrible without cream and sugar, but the video catches my eye.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I will happily drink Twinings solely because they had this animation made.

Video is marked private?


Weird. I fixed that.
Here.


thegreenteagamer wrote:

Thou shalt not drinkith the Lipton, for it is vile, and verily shall it make you regret having wasted the holy plant.

Thou mayest drinketh hot, and thou mayest drinketh iced, but yay, if the drink is tepid, the sorrow will falleth upon ye.

<snip>

Thou mayest drinketh the coffee, for yay she is our ally, but always remember the superiority of the tea. (Unless it is Lipton, for the first commandment was not a joke, though thegreenteagamer doth joketh far too much to know when he is serious.)

Thou shalt only present the instant tea with lots of sugar already mixed in to the youth, as a way for training them for the holy drink. Remember though that it is only for the child, for verily it be damnnear Kool Aid in presentation and flavor.

<snip>

I was thinking about signing up.

... but then you had to go and prove the falsehood of the faith.

WELP.

EDIT

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Weird. I fixed that.

Here.

That... is really well done.


Falsehood? What are you talking about? Honestly, TL, I expected you to be one of the first to sign up. Did you forget StrategyTiger? Was he crafted in vain?

Is it the instant stuff? I was raised on that as a kid before I actually had the real stuff. It's like training wheels for tea drinkers.

But it's pretty much just sugar water made with crap tea, so...well, when I was a child, I did childish things, but as a man...

As for cream...in tea...If you're British that's acceptable. And Twinnings is pretty good, actually, especially for the price. They have some great flavors. I prefer Bigelow - somehow they have a plain green that tastes better than a flavored one.


I made a thread for this derail about me, tea, and whatnot here . This is my attempt to adhere to my own self-imposed two posts per derail limit, which I have already broken, but am not terribly upset about, because...well...it's about me. (Don't act like you wouldn't do the same.)


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Tacticslion wrote:

"You're a Loony~!"

"I AM EEN-VEEN-SI-BAAAAALLLL~!"

It's okay, I have a bag of flour to throw.


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Scythia wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:

"You're a Loony~!"

"I AM EEN-VEEN-SI-BAAAAALLLL~!"

It's okay, I have a bag of flour to throw.

Pssst:


Durngrun Stonebreaker wrote:
Scythia wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:

"You're a Loony~!"

"I AM EEN-VEEN-SI-BAAAAALLLL~!"

It's okay, I have a bag of flour to throw.
** spoiler omitted **

I've seen the film. :P

I was just reminded of a WoW chat joke.


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When someone posts in a thread just to bump it back to the front page.


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When someone points something out that upsets them and doesn't bother to link the thing that set them off.

Silver Crusade Contributor

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Oh my gosh, I'd forgotten about this thread.

I was so young then...

Gazes off wistfully


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I love the forge analogy. It lets me point out to grognards insisting upon the tank-trapfinding-arcane-divine formula that they're wrong, as well as explain to them why they're wrong.

Any time you can prove to a grognard they're wrong is a good time.

...Not that it will actually shut them up.


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Scythia wrote:
When someone posts in a thread just to bump it back to the front page.

I am guilty if I create a rule thread to be FAQ'd when I know most of us are sleeping so I will bump it again so people can see it when most of us are awake. If I still dont get any FAQ's I just take the hint that not everyone thinks it is as important as I do. :)

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