False factoids

[KahnyaGnorc]

Schism knows when the next Tool album is coming out, but won't say.

[Pulg]

KahynaGnorc keeps turning up to Tool gigs with both a flathead and a posidrive screwdriver and gets very upset when they won't let him play with them.

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

Pulg can apply torque to two screws simultaneously using his nostrils!

[Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia]

And if that wasn't impressive, Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis has invented a machine that can apply torque to an infinite number of screws simultaneously without having to lift a finger.

[The Fiend Fantastic]

Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia 's title is but the reflection of his skills, his alignment is actually quite evil.

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

How dare you say that! There can only be ONE evil Wizard, ME, and I will not have some meddlesome Aasimar who is no more fiendish than a buttercup and no more fantastic than a million rope burns suggest otherwise! Especially when talking about Aduro!

[Pulg]

Malvel, using means that I shudder to contemplate, manages to cosplay both Betty and Veronica at the same time.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

Pulg has clearly never heard of magic before.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Nosferatu Fester Addams would *love* some cheese!

[Shere Khan]

The Clown Prince of Closets makes the cheese in his secret laboratory.

[JTDV]

Shere Khan used to work a chuckwagon and went by the name of Shere Cookie.

[KahnyaGnorc]

JTDV has a cousin that's a TV exec, running JD-TV.

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc has a Swedish cousin, TetraPakyaGnorc.

[Panter Flauclaws]

Pulg is his own cousin.

[Kat's Eye]

Panther Flauclaws never uses a litterbox.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

He's a robot, so he doesn't need to. Anyway, that's better than the fact that you use your master's prize winning sand pit as a litter box.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Nosferatu Fester Addams gave said master the prize for the sand pit. Ironically, Kat's Eye was the prize...

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc traveled to the sun, received an audience with the Sun Lord, survived the four trials of the Kiva of Lions, the Kiva of Serpents, the Kiva of Bees, and the Kiva of Lightning, and all she got was this lousy +5 Prismatic Robe.

[Panter Flauclaws]

Only IHIYC thinks that the "+5 Prismatic Robe" is lousy because he doesn't like the colour. And he has a full wardrobe of them.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Panter Flauclaws will catch that Prismatic Laserpointer dot one of these days . . . oh, yes, one of these day.

[Belphegor]

KahnyaGnorc is the unacknowledged love child of the Invisible Man.

[Pulg]

Belphegor is also available in Antique Bronze and Hammered Chrome.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg took one look at the black hole picture and called out, "Oi, waitress! You burned me eggs!"

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC once did risque films under the pseudonym I'm Hiding In Your Black Hole.

[Reiner's Tigerskin Rug]

*Has evidence in it's mouth that KahnyaGnorc was the director of all the risque films that IHIYC starred in.*

[Pulg]

Reiner's Tigerskin Rug was the centrepiece of the set on many of said films, surrounded by lava lamps, sofas covered in pink flock and posters of 'Dr. Hook' and 'Three Dog Night'.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg provided the sofas, stuffed with his hair.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc is 25% tin, 14% vinylon, 9% polyester, and 0.2% manzanita.

[JTDV]

For best results, pair I'm Hiding In Your Closet with zinfandel, churros, and cheese.

[Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia]

Despite what is seen in his avatar, JTDV is neither snarling nor is he about to spit out an acidic projectile, he is actually suffering from a terrible mucus infection caused by being paired with some ginger beer.

[Mercutio Menschjaeger]

Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia is in fact rated "GREAT Wizard" on his area's local hookup site, AvantiaMadison.com.

[Schism]

Mercutio knows this because he is a frequent visitor to that site.

[Quiche Lisp]

Schism is the result of a dalliance between a Dryad and a compendium of bad halfling jokes - "The Rose Book of the Marches" - polymorphed into an attractive Elf warrior with a thong by a lonely Ewok enchantress from the Andoran lands.

[Pulg]

Quiche Lisp had been alive forever, when he wore the very first thong.

[Xanac Candledark]

Pulg once terrorized a small town as the monstrous, halberdgun-wielding "TubaHead".

[KahnyaGnorc]

Xanax Candledark is nobody's mummy. She's an aunt, and uncle, and third cousin, twice remove, once returned, and four times exchanged.

[Claw, the Giant Monkey]

*Holds a receipt showing that KahnyaGnorc was once exchanged for a boatload of adorable puppies that were to be turned into ice cream.*

[JTDV]

Claw, the Giant Monkey also used to be adorable. Back then it was "Awwwww the Giant Monkey". But then puberty took its toll.

[KahnyaGnorc]

JTDV once had a job as a puberty toll-collector. It isn't as glamorous as you'd imagine.

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc is a marriage guidance counsellor for gelatinous cubes.

[Cluny the Scourge]

Pulg is part Sasquatch, on his mother's side.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Cluny the Scourge's greatest scourging was the after-affect of the movie "Batman & Robin" had on the Batman franchise and super-hero films in general for years afterward.

[Ekanta Hanoi]

KahnyaGnorc once won a staring contest with a mirror.

She saw her reflection blink.

[Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia]

Ekanta Hanoi is the reflection of everyone except himself, for he lives in the mirror, in every mirror, staring back at you with empty eyes.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Aduro, Good Wizard of Avantia, once was only an "okay" wizard, but was inspired by ancient runes sent via the mystical "chat channel" of a game . . . "GIT GUD."

[Malvel, The Dark Wizard]

KahnyaGnorc assisted me in creating the game.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Malvel, The Dark Wizard, did reject a number of Easter Eggs I proposed for the game, said they were too-brightly dyed.

[Panter Flauclaws]

KahnyaGnorc was, however, able to include customisable fairy guides to accompany players. However, KahnyaGnorc felt that most of the clothing options for the fairies should be very revealing and the fairies were also stuck having bare feet at all times.

[Pulg's Fairy Accordion Band]

What Panter doesn't realise is that we could either have shoes or accordions, and by Oberon, I think we made the right choice.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg's Fairy Accordian Band has vowed vengeance upon their greatest rival . . . "Weird Al" Yankovic!