False factoids

[GoatToucher]

IHIYC is the U.S. military's leading consultant in the field of "Breakfast Cereals".

Whether this is a cover for something more unwholesome or if he actually is an expert in the militarization of breakfast foods is a tightly guarded secret.

[Pulg]

Jon Ronson's 'The Men That Stare At Goats' was originally titled 'The Men That [CENSORED] At GoatToucher', but, y'know, obscenity laws and such.

[GM_Beernorg]

Pulg played the goat in "The Men that Stare at Goats." Though the glue used to attach the horns gave him an awful rash.

[Ventnor]

GM_Beernorg enjoys the times when he gets to be PC_Beernorg immensely.

[GM_Beernorg]

Ventnor becomes GM_"Die by Dragon Fire" Ventnor only when a player anywhere tells his GM "bring on the dragons, I need new boots." Try it at your own risk.

[Molten Dragon]

A couple years ago, GMB penned a screenplay titled : "Barnyard Wars VII:The Goat Awakens". Surprisingly no studios were interested...

[Ventnor]

This was, of course, because Molten Dragon had the rights to the Barnyard Wars franchise and he wasn't about to let that cash cow get away.

[GM_Beernorg]

Ventnor was slated to play "Cud" a plucky cow hurricane soldier who realizes the Dairy Empire is evil, and refuses to be a cog in the milking machine of war any longer. Alas as noted above the project was kiboshed due to ownership rights.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

GM_Beernorg does it to the velvet tones of Ed Asner.

[lucky7]

IHIYC directed the Barnyard Wars prequels.

[Pulg]

lucky7 is the reluctant host of Live Bernard Wars, on PBS.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg was once a Bernard . . . once.

[lucky7]

KahnyaGnorc was a Viking for a few years. It kinda sucked.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

lucky7 cheats at roulette by tossing his right eye (the comparatively tame one) onto the wheel when nobody's looking.

[Ventnor]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet lacks the necessary muscles in his face to wink his right eye.

[GM_Beernorg]

Ventnor claims he can do a "double wink", no one has the heart to tell him that is called blinking, as he is so proud of his special skill...

[GoatToucher]

GM_B's mastery of his anus and rectum is so complete that his colonic rendition of "Ave Maria" will bring a tear to even the most rheumy eye.

[The Rantings of an Old Man]

GoatToucher does not touch goats, but instead touches cows.

[Ventnor]

The Rantings of an Old Man is actually 12 years old.

[Pulg]

So is Ventnor, who has, what's more, been matured in sherry casks for the whole period.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg seriously misunderstood something he heard about American children's programming, and has been scouring the States on a culinary expedition for a delicious dish of Lambchops a la Sherry Louis with Hushpuppies and Charleston Horseradish.

[lucky7]

IHIYC knows what Pringles are really made out of.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

For lucky7, the main downside being a lich is that he can never again properly pull off the "Pringles duckbill" gag.

[Pulg]

IHIYC has managed to pull off a Pringles Duckbilled Platypus. How, why and what happened afterwards are all questions that really ought to stay unanswered.

[GM_Beernorg]

Pulg is constantly harassed by the "Finding Sasquatch" team constantly, it has gotten so bad he had to get a different cell #.

[GoatToucher]

GM_B has been patiently waiting for 70s-80's era feathered hair to make a comeback, but he is starting to lose hope.

[Ventnor]

A hug from GoatToucher has been deemed a cruel and unusual punishment by the United States' Attorney General's Office.

[GM_Beernorg]

Ventnor used to work for the Red Dragon Armies of High Lord Ariakas, but after that incident with the Companions of the Lance, he decided on early retirement.

[GoatToucher]

And Amnesty International

And the Hague.

And the Vatican.

"Cruel" and "unusual" are the good adjectives for the process, but they fall short of capturing the nuance of what happens.

Ventnor eats over six hundred pounds of meal-worms a day.

[Sissyl]

GoatToucher went through the Tomb of Horrors once. He doesn't talk about what happened then. Neither does Acererak.

[GoatToucher]

Shortly afterwards he gave up his physical form for good. I wonder why.

Syssyl has been known to stand in front of people, pray to the Lady of Pain, and then jump out of the way so the person behind her gets smote.

[Ventnor]

Due to fluctuations of subatomic particles at the quantum level, GoatToucher cannot perceive GM_Beernorg. It confuses him that so many people talk about a person who clearly doesn't exist.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Each of Ventnor's scales contains its own universe, with its own version of Ventnor, whose scales each contain their own universes, with their own versions of Ventnor. . .

VENTNORCEPTION!

[Ventnor]

KahnyaGnorc can eat soup with fork and never spill one drop of broth.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Ventnor sprouts juicy, delicious, fully-edible prickly pears from his spikes and horns every 1d4 Winters.

[GM_Beernorg]

IHIYC tried to convince Ventnor to partner up and open a juice bar using his prickly pears (indeed growing only once every 1d4 winters), but the deal fell through over naming rights. Jabbing Juice is simply not a good name.

[Sissyl]

GMB has been researching, and as the fruit of that research, he now has a family of six giant, prehistoric sloths hanging from branches he set up throughout his living room.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Allow me to recommend A Sloth In The Family.

Sissyl's first kiss was with a pair of closing elevator doors. It felt surprisingly...right.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

Whereas the first kiss that IHIYC had was with the rare tuna cactus. He has since made it his mission to wipe out the species of plant.

[GoatToucher]

Dou-Bral's first kiss was with Those That Lie Beyond, Dreaming, and we can all see how that turned out.

[Schism]

No one wants to talk about GoatToucher's first kiss. They say it was with a REDACTED FOR YOUR PROTECTION.

[GM_Beernorg]

Just being told that there was an old mirror down load site that had a video of GoatToucher's first kiss is what caused Schism's irises to incinerate themselves, which is why her eyes look the way they do.

[Ventnor]

GM_Beernorg does not kiss people, preferring to show affection by hooking thumbs with his partner.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Ventnor often confuses the verb to kiss with the verb to eat. Hilarity ensues.

[Pulg]

KanyaGnorc is banned from the greengrocers because he likes to go in, pick up a potato and shout 'TUBER OR NOT TUBER, THAT IS THE QUESTION', while wearing a ruff and no pants

[GM_Beernorg]

Pulg never wears normal pants, because they came with his hirsute, HA!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

GM_Beernorg likes to go up to people's houses while they're watching the morning news, press his bare chest against small windows, and declare in his most authoritative weatherman voice, "The sky is green again today...."

[Ventnor]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet got 2% of the vote in the Iowa Caucus.

[Midgard Serpent]

Ventnor was hire by the opposition to keep people away.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Midgard Serpent will be voting for the Republican candidate - he doesn't care who's finally nominated, as any one of them is fully capable of ushering in the Ragnarok, for which Midgard Serpent feels he's waited long enough.