Overheard at the Paizo office


Off-Topic Discussions

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Grand Lodge

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Christopher Anthony wrote:

Crystal: How much do you think we drink?!

Jeff Alvarez: I KNOW how much you drink.

All hail the keeper of the key to the beer fridge!!

Dark Archive Customer Service Representative

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Sara Marie: Does that hollow empty feeling feel like a leopard?


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Scribbling Rambler wrote:
Christopher Anthony wrote:

Crystal: How much do you think we drink?!

Jeff Alvarez: I KNOW how much you drink.
All hail the keeper of the key to the beer fridge!!

He Who Controls the Booze, Controls the Sobriety.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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gary: if you hear screams from the tech team it's just because i'm exploring the code


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Lilith wrote:
He Who Controls the Booze, Controls the Sobriety.

{whispers excitedly:} Could she be the Kwisatz Liquorach? {cue dramatic Toto riffs}

- or -

Bulma'Dib: "My name is a drinking word!"


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Lilith wrote:
He Who Controls the Booze, Controls the Sobriety.
{whispers excitedly:} Could she be the Kwisatz Liquorach? {cue dramatic Toto riffs}

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you...

Paizo Employee Developer

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John Compton: Are you kidding!? He's everything. He's a bard!

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Robot Chris: double negatives are confusing

Robot Chris: down with double negatives

Christopher: I don't disagree.

Liz I wouldn't not agree with you.

Crystal: I couldn't even not disagree with that

Crystal: I think I did my math wrong there...

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Crystal: Woo! I crashed Firefox! Wait, I think I crashed my whole computer. I crashed a Mac!
Robot Chris: I do that all the time.
Lissa: It's true. She's a pro at that.
Robot Chris: What's the XBox ranking? Platinum? I'm Platinum in that.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: Wicked Witch of the Wes-t Schneider?

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.


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Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.

Mostly due to Cosmo...

Editor

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Patrick: I’d rather be married by a wizard. It’s more supernatural—like you’re EXTRA married. There’s probably magic rings and stuff.

Liberty's Edge Digital Products Assistant

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Ashley Gillaspie: I am allergic to wasps so anything that flies and has a stinger makes me freak out a bit, because bees can be tricky and look like wasps when buzzing by your head. A*+@*&#s.

Crystal Frasier: Happy thoughts

Ashley Gillaspie: Yay!

Crystal Frasier: That little guy is SO HIGH

Christopher Anthony: So not this?

Ashley Gillaspie: That does remind me. I have an insect that only the bowels of hell could have produced hiding somewhere in my house.

Crystal Frasier: No no. More like this.

Ashley Gillaspie: It looks like a mosquito, only its about the size of my hand. I've swatted it like 4 times now and it wont die.

Crystal Frasier: Watermelon Bat will save you.
Once he is done eating melon
This may take a while
C'mon, man. Leave some melon for the rest of us!
Great. Now there's two of them...
Lemur?! What the $@!&, man! You're supposed to be helping get rid of the bats!

Silver Crusade

Crystal Frasier wrote:

Ashley Gillaspie: I am allergic to wasps so anything that flies and has a stinger makes me freak out a bit, because bees can be tricky and look like wasps when buzzing by your head. A!!*+~#s.

Crystal Frasier: Happy thoughts

Ashley Gillaspie: Yay!

Crystal Frasier: That little guy is SO HIGH

Christopher Anthony: So not this?

Ashley Gillaspie: That does remind me. I have an insect that only the bowels of hell could have produced hiding somewhere in my house.

Crystal Frasier: No no. More like this.

Ashley Gillaspie: It looks like a mosquito, only its about the size of my hand. I've swatted it like 4 times now and it wont die.

Crystal Frasier: Watermelon Bat will save you.
Once he is done eating melon
This may take a while
C'mon, man. Leave some melon for the rest of us!
Great. Now there's two of them...
Lemur?! What the $@!&, man! You're supposed to be helping get rid of the bats!

Dawww Watermelon Bat is frikkin adorable.

Silver Crusade

Fun fact, the fruit bat is also known as the Megabat.

Editorial Intern

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Stephen: Luckily, Jason's hobbling still counts as a five-foot step.

Sovereign Court

Sure, fruit bats are all cute and stuff ... until you stumble into a berry bush. Then you are nothing but a fruit bat food truck ...

Silver Crusade

zylphryx wrote:
Sure, fruit bats are all cute and stuff ... until you stumble into a berry bush. Then you are nothing but a fruit bat food truck ...

FLUFFY SWARM!!!


Rysky wrote:
zylphryx wrote:
Sure, fruit bats are all cute and stuff ... until you stumble into a berry bush. Then you are nothing but a fruit bat food truck ...
FLUFFY SWARM!!!

They're also the basis of the Berbelang legend in the Philippines.

Scarab Sages

zylphryx wrote:
Sure, fruit bats are all cute and stuff ... until you stumble into a berry bush. Then you are nothing but a fruit bat food truck ...

Don't tell Merisiel!


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.
Mostly due to Cosmo...

You obviously don't know Christopher. :)

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: I wonder what would happen if I tried drinking even a quart of vegatable oil

robot chris: your heart skips and you turn into a unicorn

Grand Lodge

Justin Franklin wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.
Mostly due to Cosmo...
You obviously don't know Christopher. :)

Or The Bull-Man.

Paizo Employee Developer

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Stephen: I will beat you with all the Core Rulebooks!

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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sara marie: oooh, Numenéra is calling my name.

liz: You should really get it

liz: It's a very pretty book

gary: liz if i promise to fix your bugs faster will you stop goading sm to buy all the things?

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Scribbling Rambler wrote:
Justin Franklin wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.
Mostly due to Cosmo...
You obviously don't know Christopher. :)
Or The Bull-Man.

Really, most folks at Paizo. >.>

Sovereign Court

Liz Courts wrote:
Scribbling Rambler wrote:
Justin Franklin wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
christopher: I am 9872398072398% sure you don't actually want to mindlink with everyone at Paizo.
Mostly due to Cosmo...
You obviously don't know Christopher. :)
Or The Bull-Man.
Really, most folks at Paizo. >.>

There is a reason Cthulhu is so popular amongst the Paizo folks ... Cthulhu just glimpsed into the minds of everyone at Paizo and failed his SAN check. ;)

EDIT: and on that note, here's to seriously hoping to get into another of James Jacobs' Call of Cthulhu games again ... the man can run a CoC table like no one else.


Sara Marie wrote:

sara marie: oooh, Numenéra is calling my name.

liz: You should really get it

liz: It's a very pretty book

gary: liz if i promise to fix your bugs faster will you stop goading sm to buy all the things?

So how many bugs to be fixed for Liz still remain unfixed?

Webstore Gninja Minion

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Drejk wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

sara marie: oooh, Numenéra is calling my name.

liz: You should really get it

liz: It's a very pretty book

gary: liz if i promise to fix your bugs faster will you stop goading sm to buy all the things?

So how many bugs to be fixed for Liz still remain unfixed?

Heh heh heh. >:D

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Gary: it's like when someone stands next to you in a crowd, and you move on, and then they're next to you again, and then they clear their throat, and you look up and they're just looking at you, expectantly, like a puppy
Christopher: Or when you're walking up a hallway, thinking you're alone, only to find that a coworker has been walking a step behind you the entire time
Gary: what's worse is when you discover they haven't worked here in years
Christopher: And, in fact, died six months ago.
Sara Marie: THIS IS WHY WE LOCK THE DOOR PEOP--arrrrgh
Sara Marie: god i hate being proved right by example
Christopher: This is how you get zombies.
Gary: man i remember when my uncle was out one day and his sisters were all undead and it turns out we'd all been bad and didn't put flowers on their graves. just before they ate him he shouted DON'T YOU KNOW THIS IS HOW WE GET AUNTS


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the last march of the aunts


Christopher Anthony wrote:
Gary: what's worse is when you discover they haven't worked here in years

Ross?

Quote:
Christopher: And, in fact, died six months ago.

*Checks when Ross supposedly moved to work elsewhere*

Is there anything you want to tell us about Ross?

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Just because I'm a brain in a jar doesn't mean I'm dead. Geeze.


How can we even know if it is actually yours brain in the jar? What if it is someone's else brain?

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Drejk wrote:
How can we even know if it is actually yours brain in the jar? What if it is someone's else brain?

You put your brain in a container made of glass instead of bone, and all of a sudden everyone's asking questions...


Christopher Anthony wrote:
Gary: DON'T YOU KNOW THIS IS HOW WE GET AUNTS

+1 the vote for Formian Aunts of Castrovel in Bestiary V


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Ross Byers wrote:
Drejk wrote:
How can we even know if it is actually yours brain in the jar? What if it is someone's else brain?
You put your brain in a container made of glass instead of bone, and all of a sudden everyone's asking questions...

that is absolutely mindbottling


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Lamontius wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
Drejk wrote:
How can we even know if it is actually yours brain in the jar? What if it is someone's else brain?
You put your brain in a container made of glass instead of bone, and all of a sudden everyone's asking questions...

that is absolutely mindbottling

Hah! Bravo Lamontius.


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zylphryx wrote:
There is a reason Cthulhu is so popular amongst the Paizo folks

The people at Paizo had to hire Cthulhu. It turns out he's the only one that can comprehend the method and order their products are shipped out each month.


Ross Byers wrote:
Drejk wrote:
How can we even know if it is actually yours brain in the jar? What if it is someone's else brain?
You put your brain in a container made of glass instead of bone, and all of a sudden everyone's asking questions...

Meh. Brass and crystal are all the rage now.

Liberty's Edge Digital Products Assistant

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Drejk wrote:
Meh. Brass and crystal are all the rage now.

Wait, I'm whatnow?

Dark Archive

You heard it here first, Crystal is brassy!

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Crystal is bold as brass and full of rage. That's the message to take from that.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

robot chris: pigs, pickles, fire everywhere

liz: Exploding fermented pig pinata

Sovereign Court

Sounds like a good, ol' fashioned pig picking back in the woods of Orange and Chatham counties in NC back in the day. Just need to add in beer, live music and lots of really good ... um ... well, let's just say Chatham county has been called the east coast Humbolt county and leave it at that. ;)

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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sara marie: I wonder how long baby dental appointments last

ashley: i wouldn't think very long, though i suppose it would depend on how many teeth said baby had

robot chris: for instance, a baby goblin's dentist appointment would last at least a day

robot chris: because 9,000+ teefs

liz: I think baby dental appointments are better for developing good dental habits and avoiding dentist fear

robot chris: in the case of goblin dentist's, this is to encourage fear

gary: i don't want to be goblin-ist, but i'm not sure goblins make good dentists

cs erik: what, they're great at cauterizing any potential wounds.

Webstore Gninja Minion

gary: it would take 2.99 GJ worth of energy to completely vaporize an entire human body


giant jalapenos
gaseous jellybeans
garlic jewels
green jumps
galactic jams
growling jumbles

ugh physics is hard

Paizo Employee Sales Imp

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Lissa: Can we just not murder people?

Jessica: Lissa -- that would be preferable, yes

Jessica: but since we're already doing it...

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