Drock11's page

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber. 538 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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I have a few things to put on the docket today.

When I take a shower I try to make sure I put a towel right next to the door so it's within easy reach when I'm done. The last few times it seems I forgot to do that, and had to track puddles of water all over my bathroom floor to get to one. Perhaps I just forgot. I thought I put the towel in it's usual place, but now I'm thinking Cosmo sent one of his minions to move it to cause me to clean the water off the floor.

The replacement tubing used to fix the water pipe that burst when it froze over last winter has started to fail. It's now leaking at both ends where I replaced it. I had to shut off the hot water in the house until I can get it fixed, and the way work is right now it's hard to do anything until the week end. Even then Cosmo has found a way to spoil my weekend and has made it known to me well in advanced to make sure I have nothing good to look forward to for a while.

The worst thing he as did lately was yesterday. I have to get up really early in the A.M. to go to work. I got up around midnight to use the bathroom and found a bat flying around inside me house. I have no idea how it got in, other than Cosmo being involved somehow, because they can fit through ridiculously small spaces. It startled the heck out of me. I know that. Worse, it wasn't like I could just go back to bed and leave the matter of having it in my house unattended. When I went to get a spare bed sheet and gloves it stopped flying around and I couldn't find it. I had to wait and hour before it started zooming around again.

I don't know if any of you have ever had to deal with a bat flying around inside your house with no help. Trying to stop them mid-flight, well, it's hard. They are pretty quick, agile, and tend to not want to be captured. Maybe it's just me, but they also seem to have a nasty proclivity of flying it the direction of your face only to turn away at the last moment. As I had little sleep and work the next day it wasn't like I could easily wait it out to land either. Not that I had much of a choice as in the end that's what I had to do. I finally got it back outside relatively unscathed, but it ruined my whole day at work. I guess the bat controlling division of Cosmo's organization finally got envious of his spider controlling division and wanted some of the action it gets at my expense.


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I've noticed that there are a lot of garage sales going on around my area this time of year. The signs on the side of the road directing people to them are somewhat annoying, but the biggest problem with them is all the false advertizing that goes on. I mean, I keep going to them, but nobody is ever selling their garages.

For that I blame Cosmo.


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I blame Cosmo that spiders have found my workout equipment to be adequate nesting spots. The worst was the ab board when doing crunches where I went from wondering what all those tickling sensations were to screaming in terror.

I would also like to take this time to blame Cosmo for people that like put ketchup on their bratwurst or hot dogs. Those people are sick and need help and it's all your fault Cosmo.


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At work coworkers of mine and me have figured out what some of the days of the week really are. See, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday really aren't those days. What we call them instead is Second Monday, Third Monday, and Forth Monday.

We had Friday as that was still not infected with the misery of the other days, and it still had some good aspects to it, until recently that is.

(At this point I can only curl up into a fetal position and cry)

Why Cosmo? Why did you have to turn Friday into Fifth Monday? It was the only thing I had left. Couldn't you have at least let me keep that? (sobs)


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I blame Cosmo because I don't have my own theme song.


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I blame Cosmo because I went to the dentist today and found I will need some work done on an upcoming appointment. Only Cosmo can come up with a system where somebody has to pay a lot of money to feel pain.

I blame Cosmo because I feel like I'm some lab experiment when I'm almost lying down in one of the dentist chairs and that bright light is right in front of my face and people are looking down at me.

I also blame Cosmo because the dentist tools look as much like Middle Age torture devices than actual medical equipment. It's even worse because of the nature of the work you can't even look away from them. They are right in front of people's faces as they jam the devices into them and they hear the awful sounds they make. All features of the process that Cosmo came up with I'm sure.


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I blame Cosmo that I have another large pile of cardboard boxes that are a pain to get rid off. Luckily Cosmo hasn't sent them full of plague or a large swarm of spiders, yet.


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Going through doorways with a bow strapped to a person's back is a real pain. About the second or third time being jerked to a surprising and sudden stop would be the last straw.

Somebody could make the case that helmets with large stag antlers on them fall into the same category, but they don't count because they look cool.


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I would get laughed at for wearing a cloak in the modern day. I say somebody needs to get them to catch on again and make a comeback. I don't think I'm that brave to pull it off.


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I blame Cosmo because of coffee grounds spilled on the carpet. What did it ever do to you to deserve that Cosmo?

I also blame Cosmo because for a spit second I actually thought of reducing myself to trying to salvage and use it. That's not right.


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I blame Cosmo that my car broke down today, maybe permanently.

I blame Cosmo I will have to beg for rides to work for the near future.

I blame Cosmo for any used car salesmen that I might have to deal with in the future. Cosmo did after all invent the profession.


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I blame Cosmo for rust and the oxygen that causes it. Why must you make something we need to live also our enemy?

I also blame Cosmo for my sister pushing her dog on me to watch while she's in the Florida Keys for three weeks while I'm in the cold. She has sent pictures of it down there to rub it in to the people she knows here. I'm now assuming she's either a fan of Cosmo, or worse, was one of his secret agents all along. I do get the benefit of having a bunch of crap in my yard for when spring comes. The first lawn mowing this year is going to be so much fun.


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It ends up I wasn't able to change all my clocks, and I blame Cosmo. My car was bought used and has an aftermarket radio in it. Of course there is no instruction booklet. Trying to figure it out I might as well be randomly pushing buttons on an alien spaceship control panel for all good it does. I can only hope my car's battery never goes out as my only recourse for setting the time correctly after that is to wait until exactly midnight to reattach the terminals.


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I blame Cosmo that he stole that hour of sleep from me yesterday. Daylight Savings Time sounds like a concept he would come up with. Congratulations Cosmo. You managed to mess with a whole country's worth of people's circadian rhythms at one time.

To start and blame Cosmo early I also blame him that when it switches back to Standard Time I will have to press the buttons on my alarm clock twenty three times as there is no backward moving function on it. Why won't you let them put a backwards button on digital clocks? I think Cosmo does it because he knows it's one of those little things that drive me a little closer to rage and insanity.

I blame Cosmo that I have to now try and go to sleep when it light outside.


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I'm starting to see my first grey hairs, and I blame Cosmo. I'm reasonably confident it's Cosmo's way of always reminding me he's winning every time I look closely in the mirror.

For some reason I think the hairs in my nose are growing faster and thicker which is making them more unmanageable. I often wonder how you pull of your feats of deviousness Cosmo.


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Ashley Kaprielian wrote:
Drock11 wrote:
Cosmo wrote:

Ashley: I WAS JUST TOLD NOT TO RUN AND SCREAM

They had to stop her. They are making sure Ashley has scissors in her hands before they let her do that.
I DUAL WIELD TWO-HANDED AXES OR I WIELD NOTHING!

I bet watching you cut some paper or a birthday cake brought into the office is worth coming to work all on it own if that's the case. A high base attack bonus would also be needed to butter one's toast in that manner. I speculate that would put you somewhere above level 12ish.


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Cosmo wrote:

Ashley: I WAS JUST TOLD NOT TO RUN AND SCREAM

They had to stop her. They are making sure Ashley has scissors in her hands before they let her do that.


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I blame Cosmo for for having light trigger finger in two of my fingers for the last week. Considering it can take weeks to go away on it's own with rest, I'm kind of worried about how long it will take if I keep abusing them. Of course even if I somehow could afford it, which I can't, I can just imagine the looks on my employer's faces if I walk in ask for a few weeks off.

On the bright side I did get my Bones. Everything seems to be here. I think out of principle Cosmo must have ended up with something of mine as a trophy before he had his people expertly repackage everything so it looked like nothing was tampered with. Maybe he's using one of my bases as a coaster. Now it's off cement up some demons. I've had a package of superglue stored up for months just for this day.


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I didn't get my Reaper Bones package that was due to arrive today, and I blame Cosmo for it. It was even listed as out for delivery earlier today. This is the first time in my life, from any carrier, I've ever had a package listed as late due to a weather situation, and while it's not good outside I've had much worse weather than I have now in my life and packages have always made it.

I know you or one of your minions are playing with them right now Cosmo.


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I find it can only work in certain very restricted circumstances with the make up of the party and the situations the game happens in, and even that is with very mature players.

More often than not having evil characters in the party, especially in games with good characters along side of them, just causes problems especially if it's anything close to a normal heroic game setting situation. It's rare the situations it's not more of a problem than it's worth. Evil characters are supposed to be evil for a reason, and baring evil characters being evil in name only and never actually doing anything evil or there being extensive mental and logical gymnastics involved to explain how it works in game the situation ends up being a mess.

Even when all players involved are being careful to follow a social gaming contract like not attacking each other and trying to work together as a team there could be bad repercussions for the other characters and players that end up being deal breakers for them. Like what happens when the evils characters evil actions end up being exposed and the other characters are called out on it because they are in the same group? It's kind of hard for good characters that have been battling the forces of evil all that time and being role played correctly to turn around and just shrug in response, even more so when they could be partially responsible for what happened.

I think there are times it can work out. The whole situation needs extensive work by everybody to do so. They can cause the same type of disruption a paladin can, except I think the potential when it happens to be many times worse yet.


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Sara Marie wrote:
katina: it's a big shot of magic and friendship RIGHT TO YOUR HEART

That's nice and good, but I still don't see it as giving somebody the kind of peppiness a shot of adrenaline to the same place would. I'm assuming by the conditions over there you guys have some stockpiled just in case of emergency, or GenCon crunch.


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I blame Cosmo that I now have a permanent patch of ice on the drivers side part of my car's floor. It seems due to the length of my trips and how cold it is outside the snow on my boots can melt just enough to flow off, but then it keeps refreezing into an ever greater sheet of ice as times goes on. My foot that doesn't operate anything keeps wanting to slip around, and frankly it's very annoying. I'm resigned to it being there until spring at this point. While I can appreciate the effort and drive Cosmo has to keep delivering small irritations like this to me I must ask, "Why Cosmo, why must you torment me so?"

Death_Keeper wrote:
I blame cosmo for being undead.

Fun fact: Cosmo invented undeath as a means to circumvent the only way people could prevent experiencing the anguish he gives to everybody for all eternity. That's why the undead are always so grumpy at everything instead of being happy they are immortal.


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I blame Cosmo because it got so cold with high driving winds where I live a pipe burst in my basement when there was no way to keep it warm enough with the freezing winds finding a way into it. Although I don't discount Cosmo somehow sneaking a gremlin into my basement to accomplish the task and have me blame it on the cold. I didn't see any evidence of gremlins. I checked, but they are crafty and cover their tracks well. Either way is well within Cosmo's abilities to pull off.

In any case I've been without hot water for days until I could get it fixed today a few hours ago. It seems the only shut off for the hot water system was right at the water heater so I had to cut it off for the whole house. It's something else I'm sure Cosmo had planned out all along to go along with me not being able to notice the burst pipe until I started trying the thaw it out with a blow dryer thus making water spray everywhere unexpectedly.

I wasn't able to even take a cold shower. It might have been different if the cold water I could use was just room temperature cold or even cool lake on a summer day cold, but no. It was more like falling off a ship into the Bering Sea in the winter cold so it wasn't going to happen. Trying to wash dishes hasn't exactly been a pleasant experience either, even relative to the horribleness of normal dish washing.

I would like to take this time to state that Cosmo is pure concentrated evil. No, that's not right. It's more accurate to say that all other evil is just a diluted form of Cosmo.


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I blame Cosmo that I had to do my taxes yesterday. At least it's over for this year.


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I blame Cosmo because I acquire books at a faster rate than I can read them. Why do you let that backlog sit there in a pile and stare back at me so I feel sad I'm neglecting them?

I'd also like to take this time to blame Cosmo because I can't read even faster than I already do.

I'd also like to take this time to blame Cosmo for me needing to work taking time away from reading. He also gives me the knowledge that if I didn't work I wouldn't have been able to afford the books anyhow thus creating a vicious cycle where I have nice shiny Paizo books, but have to struggle to keep up on them. He's very cruel indeed.

I also blame Cosmo for me needing to sleep taking time away from reading my books. Except for the times I need to or want to sleep that is. Then he turns me into an insomniac.


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I blame Cosmo because I'm sitting here listening to a bunch of classic disco songs. It's not so much listening to the songs I'm blaming Cosmo for as much as I now look back and realize I actually like a large portion of them. Why must you corrupt my mind Cosmo?


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I have a big dislike of reboots and remakes in general, but when a whole industry starts doing enough things like this enough to where a person needs diagrams to even begin to figure stuff out anymore they have gone way too far.

I miss the days when writing good comics and making a good product was all the creative people thought they needed.


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Jessica Price wrote:

Nope, they weren't...

...until it mattered.

I think if you picked the brain of most professional sports players and forced them be brutally honest most of them would tell you that until you have a game so far out of reach by blowing out the opposition to the point it's literally impossible for them to come back every moment always matters, and most of them are trying their best at all times so it's not like they can just turn it on any more than they already do at any other moment.

A team playing maybe the worst game they have played in years and getting outplayed for all but a few minutes coming back in the final moments by a very large collection of rare inexplicable blunders and extremely poor game management by the other team just isn't a good recipe for success.

Green Bay lost that game more than Seattle won it, and while they might not admit it I have feeling the players for Seattle know they got extremely lucky. There is no way they can play the next game like they did this one and win.


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I blame Cosmo that sharp objects keep finding a way to cut my fingers at work.

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Agreed. My 9 yro nephew is a huge Green Bay fan, and he was devastated by the loss.

I blame Cosmo for thinking of the children... and crushing their hopes too.

That part is pretty understandable. After all Cosmo's favorite drink is tea made from steeping it in the tears of little children and lost puppies. It's pretty hard to get. That's why he limits himself to only drinking two liters of it a day.


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I blame Cosmo for being involved in the Green Bay Packer's late game management and play calling, and I'm not even a huge fan of the team. It was very cruel in a Cosmo like way, at last for everybody that wasn't a fan of the Seahawks.


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I picked the game up and have put about 40 hours into it so far. After the stinkfest that was Dragon Age II, the disappointment with SW:TOR, and how the ending of Mass Effect ruined the whole series I was getting ready to write Bioware off. This game has went a good ways to redeeming themselves. If this would have been as bad as the previous Dragon Age game it might have been the last game of theirs I would have bought. Hopefully they have learned their lesson and are going back to making good games.


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I got some of the leftover boxes of chocolate candies that were at the holiday feast my family had yesterday as people were taking the leftovers home. When I opened them I found that both of them had one piece missing out of each box. That was despite both boxes being sealed, being different types of candy, and being made at a different place. What are the chances of that? I feel pretty confident I know whom to blame.

How you manage to pull off your epic feats of chicanery Cosmo I will never know.


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I blame Cosmo for having much less holiday time off this year.


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I blame Cosmo for the Magnum P.I. theme music being stuck in my head.

On a related topic that has also made me ponder how much destruction would occur and what would be the extent of the collateral damage if Tom Selleck's and Cosmo's mustaches had a fight.


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I blame Cosmo for my kidney stone, and for missing my first day of work in my entire life because of it. Why must you even turn my own body against me?


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They are the books that turned me off of post Return of the Jedi Star Wars EU material and almost Star Wars as a whole. It wasn't just the Vong even if I thought they were a terrible concept. There was also needless character deaths for mostly shock value alone or to send a message that "nobody was safe", major character personality derailments by a large amount of characters, added concepts that either don't go well with the Star Wars universe or totally derailed the basic essence of what the setting is about like Potentium or the Unifying Force, trying to add too much moral relativism and shades of grey in a setting that's supposed to be a black and white bad guys against good guys place, destruction of much of the galaxy to try to make things worse than during the times of the Empire, too many cooks in the kitchen as far as authors of the series went, and you could tell they either very poorly coordinated with each other or actively fought with each other behind the scenes for creative direction or both because neither Lucasfilm or Del Rey had a handle that situation.

Overall it was just a completely horrible series of books, and the few series that came after it weren't much better.

The New Jedi Order series and what it lead to is almost single handedly the reason I don't feel bad about the acquisition of Star Wars by Disney and the wholesale wiping away of EU continuity when I would otherwise be extremely upset by it. As much of the EU I loved like most of Zahn's work, many of the early books by others, and many of the video games and comics, if getting rid of the worst stuff goes along with that it might be worth it.


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I blame Cosmo that a little less coffee comes out of coffee makers than the water that's put into them. Why are you skimming a little off all our coffee Cosmo? I can only guess that you use it as some sort of vile currency at Paizo to buy favors when supplies run out and everybody else is desperate over there, which I'm sure you plan out.

Stealing our socks out of our dryers is bad enough, but messing with people's coffee is pure evil.

I am also curious as to how you managed to get those little extra dimensional portals into the makers to teleport all that coffee to you.


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Quark Blast wrote:
I fell out of my chair at the new reveal for the Sith lightsaber.

The saber in the original trailer was Lucasish enough, and was probably it's only downside for me. If that's the worst that's coming I can probably deal with it.

This Lucas Special Edition Trialer did make me laugh a few times.


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Rysky wrote:
But was it any good?

As it looked and tasted more of sugary goop with some coloring in it than something fruity that was sweetened up a bit I would have to say no.

Perhaps Cosmo invested heavily in the stock of a sugary goop making plant recently, but I don't know. It hard keeping up with all his schemes and plots. It's also possible he just wanted to ruin my pie. For some overarching super evil power he does seem to have the dedication to still come and put his own touch on messing up things for people personally. You have to respect that he hasn't lost the ability to care about and pay attention to the little guys after all this time.


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I recently picked up a blueberry pie. On the labeling it said "lightly sweetened". Lets just say that turned out to most definitely not to be the case. Oh good people of the bakery section of my local box store, why must you let Cosmo come and bake things for you no matter how good his credentials and pie making ability seem? Don't you know that's only going to lead to trouble and overly sweetened pies?


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I'm playing the Pre Sequel now and I have to add in how I'm in favor of the new drop rates. The vending machines even seemed to give out legendary things a lot more.

While I don't want things to pop up to the point getting rare items becomes meaningless some of the drop rates in BL2 got to the point it was past all rationality. There is a point where insufferable grinding and tediousness is not fun, and it counteracts the whole point of playing a game in the first place.

I also just picked up the first episode of Telltale games Tales from the Borderlands. It's the first Telltale game I have played, and I was pleasantly surprised by it. As time goes on I'm finding I like the Borderlands setting more and more. I have to give Gearbox credit in doing the almost impossible, making a first person shooter I like playing.


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Cosmo Cultist wrote:
Drock11 wrote:
What the heck happened?
Time marched on.

Do we get to blame Cosmo for that too?

Makes sense I guess. I now blame Cosmo for time.


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Recently the place I worked at had my go for screenings as part of pre-employment health exams to get hired in full time and off temp status. While that is good while I was sitting in the hospital waiting room that was relatively full I looked around and saw a scary sight. I was the only person in the room that wasn't totally engrossed with a smart phone. All around me where people staring like zombies into them or doing their tappity taps and clickity clicks. It kind of put me at unease. I was hoping one of them would lift there head to at least look out the window or something so I wouldn't be the only one but nope. It was like I was in The Twilight Zone or Bizzaro World or maybe even Bizzaro world's version of the Twilight Zone. Am I the only person left that doesn't mess with those things all the time let alone not even own one?

The worst part about it is after getting home and thinking about it I realized that, no, those people were no longer the weird ones. I am the weird one now. Thanks a lot Cosmo. You somehow managed to turn us into the abnormal outcast now.

What the heck happened? I'm now terrified to pay attention to other people for fear of finding other ways the world has passed me by and probably not for the better if Cosmo is at work.


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I cut myself three times at work today. One of them was on top of my thumb's knuckle and made work a pain. It didn't help that things wanted to get into it and rub against it all day in addition to that.

What is it with you Cosmo and your love of having sharp industrial staples sticking out of things I need to work with in places I don't expect. I blame you Cosmo.


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I was cleaning out the fireplace and found the husk of a dead naturally mummified bird. I don't know how long its been there, but I'm guessing a long while. I blame Cosmo. I can only assume you sent one of your minions to spy on me and something went wrong. How many minions of yours must fall prey to your insane schemes? Won't somebody think of the minions?


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After years of being a permatemp at the place I work at the company finally decided to hire me in. I'm sure a certain somebody out there must have put in a good word.


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Engineers secretly being pugwampi would explain so many things about my life and the entire world.


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Liz Courts wrote:
Kthulhu wrote:
Yet Paizo IS prudish enough that Frog God Games had to edit the art in one of their books.
Frog God Games included nudity in their books, which violated the terms of the Pathfinder Compatibility License (specifically the adult content clause). That's why they were asked to remove it. (And yes, nudity would probably be considered "adult" in the US, which is where we are based. It has nothing to do with how "prudish" Paizo is.)

A better example would be "Brothel" being changed to "Dance Hall" in Ultimate Campaign. I doubt that had issues with the Compatibility License.


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It seems as if every time I come to a four way stop I'm the only person that understands the rules about who is supposed to go in what order. Don't even get me started on what happens when more than one person arrives at the stop at once. Really, I'm I the only one that paid attention to this stuff in those driver training classes? I can only assume everybody around me at that time is under some order from Cosmo to make it a hassle. You already have found a way to conspire and make me get stopped at almost every traffic light I come to. Did you really have to go there with this too Cosmo?


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Jason Nelson wrote:

We've got some new Pathfinder product coming up on Monday... MYTHIC Monday... but we have also just released a brand-new game of our very own, from the wild and wonderful imagination of Clinton J. Boomer. Behold...

SPLINTERED GODHOOD!

I like the cover art. It's simple yet catchy in a way I can't totally explain.

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