Overheard at the Paizo office


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Lantern Lodge

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Cosmo: I am smart! And I think of things smartly!

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Sara Marie wrote:
Cosmo: I am smart! And I think of things smartly!

That are true!


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Gary: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Sara: So does yours. Have some of this cinnamon gum.

Gary: It tastes like burning.

Liberty's Edge

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Sara Marie wrote:
Math is hard!

Is that the Paizo motto?


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Gary Teter wrote:
Everybody knows Sebastian cheats.

He should, or else he would be a terrible lawyer.

Liberty's Edge Contributor

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Hudax wrote:

Gary: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Sara: So does yours. Have some of this cinnamon gum.

Gary: It tastes like burning.

Waaaait! Gary never said that! You're just pulling random Simpsons quotes together as a replacement for being witty!

Lantern Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Gark the Goblin wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Math is hard!
Is that the Paizo motto?

No, but it sure is mine!

Dark Archive

so does that mean we should have our orders processed by someone else SM? :P

Liberty's Edge

4 people marked this as a favorite.
ulgulanoth wrote:
so does that mean we should have our orders processed by someone else SM? :P

As long as she keeps sending me three copies of everything in my subscription, I'm all for her being in charge.


Crystal Frasier wrote:
Waaaait! Gary never said that!

That you know of.

]You're just pulling random Simpsons quotes together as a replacement for being witty! [/QUOTE wrote:

I'm like the TS Eliot of the internet.

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Jeff: "I blame Chris."

Someone, in the other room: "Are we not blaming Cosmo?"


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Cosmo wrote:

Jeff: "I blame Chris."

Someone, in the other room: "Are we not blaming Cosmo?"

DOES NOT COMPUTE. RESUBMIT QUERY.


Hudax wrote:
I'm like the TS Eliot of the internet.

You're gonna write Old Hudax's Book of LOLCats, then turn it into a musical?!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!


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Miss Kitty wrote:
You're gonna write Old Hudax's Book of LOLCats, then turn it into a musical?!

Note to self... Do this.

Lantern Lodge

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Ross: Sometimes I like to check that my offense detector is properly calibrated.

Gary: I had mine removed awhile back because it kept going off.

Gary: Like a car alarm, it never prevented any bad behavior, but just led to annoying others.

Former VP of Finance

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Gark the Goblin wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Math is hard!
Is that the Paizo motto?

Sure is mine.

The Exchange

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Chris Self wrote:
Gark the Goblin wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Math is hard!
Is that the Paizo motto?
Sure is mine.

It never ceases to hack me off that it's socially acceptable for an adult to say "Math is hard" and yet if they said "I sure do have trouble with reading and writing" folks would look at them strange. Math(s) (I'm British) isn't hard - teaching maths in a way to inspire kids to learn it rather than giving them a life-long phobia of it does seem to be though.

Sorry, pet raw-nerve touched. I've ranted about this on the BBC before now. No offense or personal attack intended.


Reading has a lot more room for error. You can misspell most things and still have the word understood, and even if the word is missing or you misread it the context will let you know. Math usually results in 1 number on its own.

Also, i suppose the English equivalent would be "I'm a horrible speller", which passes without comment the same way math does.

The Exchange

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Reading has a lot more room for error. You can misspell most things and still have the word understood, and even if the word is missing or you misread it the context will let you know. Math usually results in 1 number on its own.

I think that's the problem - make a mistake and you are wrong, no room for debate. We've conditioned kids to think that wrong is bad. But wrong is learning.

I always say that I'd like to recruit engineers that have made every possible mistake once already, but none twice.

BigNorseWolf wrote:


Also, i suppose the English equivalent would be "I'm a horrible speller", which passes without comment the same way math does.

You have a good point. I might create an OTD thread for this so as not to derail further.


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Cosmo: Can you make me one of these

...but with a gun on it?

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Megan: i now have the enegry of an entire mongoose

Chris: But why wouldn't you want the energy of two mongeese?

Former VP of Finance

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Chris: You should ask other evil people in the office.
Chris: See if they have any leads.
Megan: That would involve interrogating everyone but Vic...

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

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Chris Self wrote:

Chris: You should ask other evil people in the office.

Chris: See if they have any leads.
Megan: That would involve interrogating everyone but Vic...

And that, folks, is how you identify the new hires.

Liberty's Edge

Vic Wertz wrote:
Chris Self wrote:

Chris: You should ask other evil people in the office.

Chris: See if they have any leads.
Megan: That would involve interrogating everyone but Vic...
And that, folks, is how you identify the new hires.

Or she recognizes that you have Evil Mastermind credentials and thus are pointless to interrogate.

Lantern Lodge

32 people marked this as a favorite.

Gary: Let's make fun of Cosmo!

Lissa: I can't make fun of Cosmo. I don't know enough about Cosmo to make fun of him!

Gary: It doesn't require much.

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

21 people marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:

Gary: Let's make fun of Cosmo!

Lissa: I can't make fun of Cosmo. I don't know enough about Cosmo to make fun of him!

Gary: It doesn't require much.

*makes a note of who "favorited* this post*


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Cosmo wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

Gary: Let's make fun of Cosmo!

Lissa: I can't make fun of Cosmo. I don't know enough about Cosmo to make fun of him!

Gary: It doesn't require much.

*makes a note of who "favorited* this post*

Ha, Cosmo is always good for a laugh!


Cosmo wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

Gary: Let's make fun of Cosmo!

Lissa: I can't make fun of Cosmo. I don't know enough about Cosmo to make fun of him!

Gary: It doesn't require much.

*makes a note of who "favorited* this post*

<Makes a note of who has (as of the time of this post) favourited Cosmo's post>

  • Sara Marie
  • Justin Franklin
    You have favourited a post with three asterisks in it and only one speech mark. For conspiring with Cosmo in his crime against sound punctuation, your names will be noted (alongside his) by the clerks of the nine Hells.


  • I disagree.

    Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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    (From chat)

    Chris Lambertz continues listening to GWAR to block out unseemly-ness coming from CS

    Ross Byers: Good idea.

    Cosmo turns on Peaches

    Chris Lambertz: are you saying you have a problem with bringing back the bomb?

    Cosmo: not at all

    Chris Lambertz: because I'm having a war party over here

    Cosmo: I was just implying that I can take hte unseemliness up a few notches if you would like.'

    Megan Armezzani: please don't

    Chris Lambertz: there is very little that is more unseemly than GWAR... so I have my doubts

    Cosmo: ...perhaps you are not familiar with the works of the artist known as Peaches?

    Chris Lambertz: I'd link a picture, but HR would beat me up

    Cosmo: click this link. I dare you: [CENSORED]

    Cosmo: I'm familiar with GWAR

    Chris Lambertz: so you know about the cannons?

    Cosmo: The [CENSORED] cannons, or the [CENSORED] cannons?.

    Chris Lambertz: both

    Chris Lambertz: at the same time

    Cosmo: right

    Cosmo: yes

    Cosmo: and the goblet that the dude [CENSORED] and drinks, then [CENSORED] .

    Chris Lambertz: and people being [CENSORED] ?

    Cosmo: right

    Chris Lambertz: and the encore?

    Ross Byers closes this window.

    ***Ross Byers has left this chat.***

    Chris Lambertz: the encore is brutal

    Chris Lambertz feels somewhat bad

    Cosmo doesn't

    Cosmo: :D

    Chris Lambertz: well, you're Cosmo

    Lantern Lodge

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    Sara Marie looks at chat transcript to see what was censored.

    .
    .
    .
    .

    Sara Marie wishes she hadn't looked.


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    My immediate first thought was to consider selling aural armaments to both Cosmo and Chris in an ever-escalating spiral of Mutually Assured Distraction.

    ...

    I think I'm slipping fully into Chaotic Evil, aren't I?

    Liberty's Edge

    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Cosmo wrote:
    Sara Marie wrote:

    Gary: Let's make fun of Cosmo!

    Lissa: I can't make fun of Cosmo. I don't know enough about Cosmo to make fun of him!

    Gary: It doesn't require much.

    *makes a note of who "favorited* this post*

    Meh... Just check off the FAWTLnauts, it's much easier than remembering names.


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    Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

    My immediate first thought was to consider selling aural armaments to both Cosmo and Chris in an ever-escalating spiral of Mutually Assured Distraction.

    ...

    I think I'm slipping fully into Chaotic Evil, aren't I?

    It's a fun ride, join us!

    The Exchange

    beware the GWAR cannons...and those fuzzy loincloths.

    Lantern Lodge

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    sara marie: Hey can someone fix this text? <sends link>

    liz: fixing

    gary: <sends link to fixed text>

    liz: I am beaten to it! The ninja is ninja'ed!

    gary: QUICK LIKE ICE CREAM NINJA!

    liz: Speaking of ninja, can I get my avatar updated with the shiny new icon Crystal tweaked for me?

    gary: doh... that got handed to molasses ninja....


    3 people marked this as a favorite.
    Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
    Sara Marie wrote:

    sara marie: Hey can someone fix this text? <sends link>

    liz: fixing

    gary: <sends link to fixed text>

    liz: I am beaten to it! The ninja is ninja'ed!

    gary: QUICK LIKE ICE CREAM NINJA!

    liz: Speaking of ninja, can I get my avatar updated with the shiny new icon Crystal tweaked for me?

    gary: doh... that got handed to molasses ninja....

    You know it might be unfair to Gary that you get a lot of favorites in this thread for things he says. ;)

    Liberty's Edge

    4 people marked this as a favorite.
    Justin Franklin wrote:
    Sara Marie wrote:

    sara marie: Hey can someone fix this text? <sends link>

    liz: fixing

    gary: <sends link to fixed text>

    liz: I am beaten to it! The ninja is ninja'ed!

    gary: QUICK LIKE ICE CREAM NINJA!

    liz: Speaking of ninja, can I get my avatar updated with the shiny new icon Crystal tweaked for me?

    gary: doh... that got handed to molasses ninja....

    You know it might be unfair to Gary that you get a lot of favorites in this thread for things he says. ;)

    The institution of marriage makes that 100% fair, actually.

    RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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    Me: That could go on the "Overheard" thread.
    Cosmo: What? The '**REDACTED**'.
    Me: No, when Pierce said '**REDACTED**'.
    Cosmo: Yeah, I don't think I need that on the Internet.


    Ross Byers wrote:

    Me: That could go on the "Overheard" thread.

    Cosmo: What? The '**REDACTED**'.
    Me: No, when Pierce said '**REDACTED**'.
    Cosmo: Yeah, I don't think I need that on the Internet.

    Oh, now that's just evil. Now I wish there was a way to opt-in to redacted content.

    Lantern Lodge

    20 people marked this as a favorite.

    You always know a call is going to go great when it starts out like this:

    phone rings

    Megan: Good morning, Paizo Publishing this is Megan how can I help you?

    ...

    Megan: We are a Role Playing Game company.

    ...

    Megan: We publish books.

    Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

    Sara Marie wrote:

    You always know a call is going to go great when it starts out like this:

    phone rings

    Megan: Good morning, Paizo Publishing this is Megan how can I help you?

    ...

    Megan: We are a Role Playing Game company.

    ...

    Megan: We publish books.

    *twitch*

    Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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    Jason Bulmahn (to me, via chat): "My vengeance will be mild and uninteresting."

    Lantern Lodge

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    Cosmo on phone: Sure! We will get a replacement out to you as soon as possible!

    ...

    Cosmo on phone: No problem! Have a nice day!

    Cosmo to me: Its just so much easier when you are nice to customers.

    Liberty's Edge

    Sara Marie wrote:

    Cosmo on phone: Sure! We will get a replacement out to you as soon as possible!

    ...

    Cosmo on phone: No problem! Have a nice day!

    Cosmo to me: Its just so much easier when you are nice to customers.

    Hmm... I'm beginning to see a strange side-effect of his "removing" the 'stache.

    Lantern Lodge

    10 people marked this as a favorite.

    Chris: Liz...why would you link that? You just made my rage-o-meter start ticking up like a rad meter.

    Liz: Because I wanted everybody to rage together! Coworkers who rage together stay together!

    Liz: ...Or something.

    Crystal: I think a vein in my head just popped.

    Former VP of Finance

    Sara Marie wrote:

    Chris: Liz...why would you link that? You just made my rage-o-meter start ticking up like a rad meter.

    Liz: Because I wanted everybody to rage together! Coworkers who rage together stay together!

    Liz: ...Or something.

    Crystal: I think a vein in my head just popped.

    >.>

    <.<

    Paizo Employee Director of Sales

    7 people marked this as a favorite.

    Sara Marie: my desire to help

    Sara Marie: and my desire to stay sane

    Sara Marie: are battling

    Spoiler:
    For the record: She ended up choosing "help".


    Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
    Cosmo wrote:

    Sara Marie: my desire to help

    Sara Marie: and my desire to stay sane

    Sara Marie: are battling

    ** spoiler omitted **

    So Sara Marie has finally gone insane then?


    Cosmo wrote:

    Sara Marie: my desire to help

    Sara Marie: and my desire to stay sane

    Sara Marie: are battling

    ** spoiler omitted **

    I made this quote my Facebook status.

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