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Sales Associate. Organized Play Member. 9,079 posts (9,358 including aliases). No reviews. 1 list. 1 wishlist. 5 Organized Play characters. 6 aliases.

Full Name

Cosmo Eisele




Customer Service Representative 10 / Mischievious Imp 7 / Spreadsheet Monkey 1




How ever many years it's been since the late 70's

Special Abilities

Thick Hide, Verbose, Sesquipedalian Coprolalia; Ooze traits.




Aiming the Paizo Product Dispersement Cannon in your general direction.


English, Qwghlmian


Meeting the various whims and desires of customers.

Homepage URL

Strength 8
Dexterity 6
Constitution 3
Intelligence 2
Wisdom 9
Charisma 26

About Cosmo

In early 1976, my father and his brother both had pregnant wives. At a bar, proper order for a couple of Irish brothers who are fathers-to-be, they discussed their plans for their future sons. They decided that their sons would be starting forwards for the Boston Celtics.

Which is odd, since neither of them are basketball players. Nor even fans as far as I can tell.

Given that their sons (sons of two short, stocky Irishmen) would undoubtedly inherit their own body type, they assumed that these sons would need flashy names to overcome their physical limitations. Names that would sound good on television.

And so I was to be known as "Cosmo Calhoun" and my cousin was to be dubbed "Elvis Peacock".

I am not kidding.

Luckily for one of us (I leave it up to you to decide who), my cousin Steve avoided this fate while my name stuck. At least the "Cosmo" part. Thankfully, "Calhoun" got vetoed.

So, yes... Cosmo is, indeed, my real name.

...also: hi, Reddit! <3 feralsloth.





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