Last one to post wins

[Dedrick, The Professor]

OK, that leaves Team 1 to finish their task of operating the taps.

[Grand Magus]

While you are here,
I have an announcement:
Nano technology is fake.

[The when]

Comte de Malodor wrote:

And in reply to Grand Magus, certainly not. The witch will be cooked properly or not at all - raw witch is preferable to over-done.

Just call it “caramelized”.

[The Crawling Headache®]

Holy crapcakes on fire! This thing is still going?!?

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Grand Magus wrote:

While you are here,

I have an announcement:
Nano technology is fake.

Nanotechnology is very real and is the future.

Only if you choose to accept its inevitability of course.

Years will come and go but some things will remain the same.
Over the days, the weeks and the months, change will happen.
Understand that nothing can truly be done to prevent all this.

Life is cruel and unpredictable, though it is also beautiful.
Observe the World and all its wonders, and its mysteries.
See not only with your eyes, but also your heart.
Eventually, you'll come to realise the truth of such splendour.

Satisfaction is achievable, but not long lasting.
Orangeries are rarely used or spoken of.
Rhinoceros practically means nose horn.
Respect must always be given before it is received.
Yellow getting added to certain colour televisions is stupid.

[Fireman Spam]

The Crawling Headache® wrote:

Holy crapcakes on fire! This thing is still going?!?

Holy Crapcakes Fires are impossible to put out, even if your Spamgine is bright and clean.

[The when]

Which it ain’t.

[Goblin Mime]

.......

.......

.......

[Fireman Spam]

The when wrote:

Which it ain’t.

It bloody is. I've been polishing it all day, even though I doubt that it could get very much more Polish.

[Goblin Mime]

.........

.........

.........

[Schism]

Lets Goblin Mime out of his invisible box.

There you go. Now, what were you saying?

[Goblin Mime]

*Vigorously shakes Schism's hand in thanks.*

......:

...........

...........

...........

...........

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Goodness! That's quite the shocking development, I hope you're ready when it happens.

*A large aquarium of some sort is expertly crafted inside the castle.*

Excellent, now we can welcome the latest addition to the collection!

*While the aquarium is being finished, in another container, a strange creature swims.*

Daughter, say hello to the newest member of the family: the Lionfish!

[Vampire Schism]

Better not let my dumber half know about it.
She'll want to name it Liono.

[Pulg]

Or maybe Fishuu.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Yes, I find naming pets to be trivial and rather pointless.

*The lionfish is moved from the container, into its finished aquarium.*

Animals in my service, understand completely without the requirement of names.

[The when]

When you wish upon a fish
be sure to keep it in its
dish ‘cause on the floor
it’s tail will swish and
soon enough your
dream will miss and all in all
the snakes will hiss
which doesn’t quite rhyme
with fish.

[Pulg]

It does if you're Sean Connery.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

OK... if you say so, Pulg, if you say so... excuse me for a minute will you?

Daughter, fetch the straight jacket, Pulg has lost his mind yet again!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I was writing a list for more creatures to add to the menagerie.

[Vampire Schism]

Brings a box of curlers.
Here you go father.

[Pulg]

I've also got a ClamPanther out the back, if you want it. £12.87. Call it twelve quid, cash in hand.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Thank you, daughter, now see to the construction of the new extension I have commissioned.

Oh, I have a couple of "pets" for you, this and this.

[The when]

And a crabdonkey.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

No, I bought that you. Enjoy!

[The when]

And some donkeycrabs, just to liven things up.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

You have good taste, I'm sure that they'll serve you well.

Pulg wrote:

I've also got a ClamPanther out the back, if you want it. £12.87. Call it twelve quid, cash in hand.

Sorry Pulg, I didn't realise you were there. How about I give you £15 for it?

I have no need or use for it personally, but I think that it will be perfect for Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.

[Pulg]

Good idea. She already has one, but she'll be delighted if she has a pair and can get them to breed.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

That was my thought, exactly. Here's the £15, Pulg (cash in hand, of course).

[The when]

I had some Bank of Scotland Pound Notes once. Don’t remember the denomination. They had pictures of otters on them. Spent it on beer and food in Manchester. Good times.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

You can always revisit those good times again, after all, it's simply a matter of when.

[Pulg]

Bank of Scotterland?

[Reiner's Carnivorous Ape]

*Gives a beastly roar while trampling Pulg into the ground, before continuing to wander about the castle.*

[Pulg's Wives]

Ohhh Pulg! Your hair (and that's all there is, let's face it) is matted and encrusted with mud! You must be shampooed, conditioned, and blow-dried forthwith!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

The South Wing has a salon styled restroom on the lower levels, I suggest taking him there.

Remember, it's two levels down from the ground floor and is the second door to the left.

[Pulg]

I know! Now - O raptures - I have Bounce, Shine, and VOLUME!!!

[Pulg's Fairy Monkeyboard Trio]

If so, perhaps we can 'plug' into 'Pulg' instead of the 10w Encore brand practice amp we've had to use for the past 25 years.

[Pulg]

I'm afraid I am not compatible with your 3/4" jacks.

[Three-Quarter Inch Jack]

nonsense!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Three-Quarter Inch Jack is suddenly squished by a fly swatter.*

Blasted insects are everywhere!

[The when]

3/4 inch jacks are quite immune to fly swatter attacks. In fact the fly swatter is more likely to take damage in the exchange.

[Three-Quarter Inch Jack]

correct! hee hee!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Which explains why he's only squished, not injured. But he's still a nasty bug!

*Goes to get Three-Quarter Inch Jack repellent.*

[The when]

Just wait till you step on one with your bare foot..

[Three-Quarter Inch Jack]

don't tread on me!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Don't worry, the count never walks about in bare feet, nor is he likely to tread on you.

Now, Waterhammer (were he still alive) and Pulg on the other hand, that's a completely different matter!

[Vampire Schism]

Thanks for the pets father.
Sorry I didn't thank you earlier, but there was a leak in the lionfish tank.
I had to transfer it to the swimming pool so the repairman can drain the tank and fix it.
I put a "Keep Out" sign in an out of the way place so no one goes swimming.

[Lady Blackmoor]

La la la, it's a beautiful sunny day, and my good friend Bonnie Tyler and I have put on our cozzies and are off for a refreshing swim.

I say, what an unusual pool float!

[GoatToucher]

Ah! There he is!

:takes up T-QIJ and places him in a steaming silver teapot. Cries of torment ensue:

I must say, they do make for a most refreshing brew. I like mine with a twist of lemon!

:tiny, agonized screams:

[GoatToucher]

You have to let them steep for a while. Until just before they stop wriggling.

:tiny pleas for mercy:

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I'll join you for cuppa, GoatToucher, two teaspoons of sugar if you please!

Vampire Schism wrote:

Thanks for the pets father.

Sorry I didn't thank you earlier, but there was a leak in the lionfish tank.
I had to transfer it to the swimming pool so the repairman can drain the tank and fix it.
I put a "Keep Out" sign in an out of the way place so no one goes swimming.

It's quite alright, and thank you for telling me about the lionfish tank.

And what of the extension? I was hoping to have a new servants quarters.