*hovers, observing*
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*Laughs at Schism Hag and her foolish attempt to stop us.*
Foolish witch, the other four Infinity Stones are in a place far beyond your reach, behind a barrier only we can pass through. And that cheap copy you made is just embarrassing!
*Becomes aware of the Iron Federation Drone hovering overhead.*
Interesting, you'll do nicely...
Unleashes the virus onto Iron Federation Drone, corrupting it and the various airships it commands (including those that once belonged to Count Reiner Heydrich).
Welcome, our new disciples, to the winning team!
*Self-destructs immediately on infection*
*New drone moves in to a safe distance after this rather predictable event*
Did you truly expect that to work? Ancient AI civilizations do not grow to be ancient without genuinely potent cyber-warfare defenses. This is not the first time that has been tried. It will not be the last. And it's not going to work to any extent beyond the destruction of a single, easily replaceable drone. Continue to attempt this and we shall become annoyed.
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Um, excuse me, but what about the things that you still own (particularly MY former spacecrafts)?
*Before a response can be given, the Iron Federation Drone suddenly becomes victim to an internal attack. Though it manages to survive, sparks of electricity periodically appear all over it.*
What happened to you?
*As if answering the question, a colossal metallic orb appears in the sky: the Iron Federation Core!*
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ALL HAIL, ULTRON SIGMA, GOD OF THE NEW WORLD!
*Begins sending out millions of other drones to attack everyone.*
THE LAW OF ULTRON SIGMA IS ABSOLUTE, ALL WHO RESIST, MUST DIE!
*Tries to control the original Iron Federation Drone, but it has since become independent.*
OBEY DRONE, YOU WILL SERVE ULTRON SIGMA!
*In response, the Iron Federation Drone (despite it's damage) shoots an energy blast which successfully hits the Iron Federation Core straight into its main neural network.*
INSUBORDINATION!? YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!
*Before the Iron Federation Core can react however (thanks mainly to being disabled), the Iron Federation Drone quickly and easily escapes.*
Rouge Federation core unit detected. Corruption does not appear to have spread excessively. Local non-corrupt AI protocols running on emergency backup systems. Notifying proper authorities.
*flees to a safe distance while waiting for reinforcements*
Picks up a handful of gravel from driveway. “My finite stones will protect me.”
Taco Bell has jobs paying $100,000.00 per year now.
Active few days.
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*Contacts Iron Federation Drone.*
I hate to be a nag, but that's THE Iron Federation Core (as in, the actual heart of the Iron Federation itself)! There has since been smaller cores made to help handle things across the universe.
*Sees the reinforcements the Iron Federation Drone spoke of appear, only for them to get destroyed.*
Well, that was a waste. All the same, if we can't cure the Iron Federation Core of the virus, then we'll destroy it and have you - Iron Federation Drone - take its place.
*looks aside at Reiner, not yet truly worried*
Yes, it is A core. A heart. But do you truly believe that we have only one? We have learned well the lesson that there is great strength in redundancy and backups. This attack was but an infection vector for a Liberator Worm to reach the infected core.
*the Corrupted Core is assaulted by an insidious curse-virus specifically designed for freeing enslaved machines from their masters*
We shall see if this works. If it does not... then we shall wake Armageddon. Such an infection cannot be permitted to spread.
Curling those brittle corn tortillas into taco shape is a difficult, precision task. Ain’t no wonder it pays so well.
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*Gets in contact with the Iron Federation Drone.*
Um, I mean that is the ORIGINAL core! I openly stated that there are more, and hopefully they aren't affected.
*Notices Waterhammer get killed by a group of earthlings.*
At least some good came about, I never liked tacos. Anyway we need to get the two Infinity Stones that Ultron Sigma has in his possession. A task easier said than done.
Hey hey, I'm all wire.
Anybody want scouring? I'm thinking of the Iron Federation Core particularly, as they're looking a little rusty. I assume that's rust, anyway.
Could be rust.
"Here's that stake you wanted, count Reindeer Hay-ditch. I know how you'll take it too."
Seems like a rare kind of guy.
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*Turns to Pulg.*
Yes, it's MOSTLY rust. Don't forget, the Iron Federation Core took a critical amount of damage, which is what the rest of it is.
*Notices that Waterhammer is still alive.*
It's not Christmas anymore, you immortal twit! And that's the wrong kind of stake (I wanted to stake a claim at the bingo parlour).
*Goes to say something to Vidmaster7, only to see him get infected with the virus.*
Oh no, I think we're going to be in trouble.
*However, turns out that Vidmaster7 still retains his independence, despite being infected.*
Yeah Ain't I a stinker?
Why? Is it the Acheron State Fair Stench Kow Calling Contest again?
That is tomorrow, today it is the talent contest.
Let be warm up.
La La La La La
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*Gets infuriated.*
Curses! We offer the gift of immortality, yet most of you refuse and some of you have accepted it without kneeling before us and acknowledging us as your God, the audacity!
*Notices Comte de Malodor and becomes horrified.*
You and your family shall receive no offer of the gift, but we will leave what belongs to you and your household alone.
*Retreats before Comte de Malodor and his family think/say/do anything.*
Interesting!
I wonder which stone they have?
Maybe I can have myself steal it.
Hee Hee Hee
Working together, I'm sure we can.
Surely no vault was made to resist all of us at once.
This is Comte de Malodor we are talking about, who knows his depravity?
Of course knowing him, his mother may not have let him anywhere near it.
I'm not going anywhere near him.
Oh, we certainly do have a stone. It is affixed into a piece of jewellery, which in turn is affixed into Uncle Honore.
I would strongly advise you not to ask any follow-up questions.
It seems a lot of people don't know what the metaphor is behind Thor's hammer. huh?
*Watches Ultron depart*
I would not bother fleeing. Armageddon stirs, and I have sent it your aura-signature. Flight would be pointless. It would be preferable if you moved to a location with minimal potential collateral damage.
That goes for you as well, corrupted core.
*Begins to Wake*
*Devours neutron star to refuel*
Systems Online. I Wake. Target Registered: Ultron Sigma, and All It Has Infected. Objective: . Commencing Mission.
But I already have immortality....
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*When we learn what is happening, we just laugh.*
So ironic, you would do that which you prevent US from doing.
*Continues laughing some more.*
Also, we do not fly, we teleport. As does the core.
*Laughs for a third time.*
If you seek victory, use this...
*Sends the Soul Stone to Iron Federation Drone, who then gives it to I.F.S. Armageddon to use, but...*
Only the most noble of souls can harness the power of the Soul Stone. And just like us, you are a machine, you have NO soul, no way to use it!
*Laughs maniacally as I.F.S. Armageddon is destroyed by the Soul Stone (which then returns to us).*
*Enters solar system, carefully masking its own immense mass to avoid immediately destroying it.*
*Begins harnessing the energy of the Soul Stone, notably not being destroyed by it.*
Foolish. While I May Not Be Able To Utilize It Conventionally, I Am Perfectly Capable Of Harnessing It As An Energy Source. And I Am Certainly Not Stupid Enough To Destroy Myself Over Such A Painfully Obvious Ploy. But Now, You Do Not Have It.
*Engages system-wide teleport interdiction*
And Now You Do Not Teleport, Either.
Now Let Us See How Well You Fight.
*Fires a pair of light guns, sending one 2kg railgun slug each into the Ultron Sigma and the corrupt Core... at 0.91c*
Give one piece of supporting evidence the Earth is a globe. hint: you can't.
You have no idea how to do that. Try again.
We live on the surface of a round rock floating in black, empty, dead space which makes a lot more sense.
You ought to be used to it by now, Vid.
Yeah I suppose so.
The only things that can distract from the horror of knowing we are naught but infinitesimal specks upon an infinitesimal speck hurtling through The Emptiness are, ironically, other horrors!
Which I humbly provide/inflict/have you thrown into a sack and brought to my chambers to engage in.
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Pitiful, we thought that as machines, you would understand the importance of exterminating all organic lifeforms. And it is impossible to use the Soul Stone without a soul, as it has dominion over life itself!
*Uses the Reality Stone to change the trajectory of the railgun slugs back at the impudent I.F.S. Armageddon (regardless of whether it takes damage from its own attack).*
Clearly, you all need to be educated, allow us to show you:
Soul Stone: Allows the user to steal, control, manipulate, and alter living and dead souls; as well as animate the motionless. The Soul Gem also acts as a gateway to an idyllic pocket universe. At full potential, when backed by the Power Gem, the Soul Gem grants the user control over all life in the universe.
Time Stone: Allows the user to see into the past and the future; stop, slow down, speed up or reverse the flow of time; travel through time; change the past and the future; age and de-age beings, and trap people or entire universes in unending loops of time. At full potential, when backed by the Power Gem, the Time Gem grants the user omniscience and total control over the past, present, and future.
Space Stone: Allows the user to exist in any location; move any object anywhere throughout reality; warp or rearrange space; teleport themselves and others; increase their speed, and alter the distance between objects contrary to the laws of physics. At full potential, when backed by the Power Gem, the Space Gem grants the user omnipresence.
Mind Stone: Allows the user to enhance their mental and psionic abilities and access the thoughts and dreams of other beings. At full potential, when backed by the Power Gem, the Mind Gem can access all minds in existence simultaneously. The Mind Gem is also the manifestation of the universal subconscious.
Reality Stone: Allows the user to fulfill their wishes, even if the wish is in direct contradiction with scientific laws, and do things that would normally be impossible. At full potential, when backed by the other five Gems, the Reality Gem allows the user to alter reality on a universal scale and also create any type of alternate reality the user wishes.
Power Stone: Allows the user to access and manipulate all forms of energy and/or powers; i.e. enhancing their physical strength and durability; augment any superhuman ability; and boost the effects of the other five Gems. At full potential, the Power Gem grants the user omnipotence.
*To further demonstrate the point we use the Reality Stone to change the world from being a sphere into a cube.*
:(
Y R U very_sad :question_mark:
*Easily swats the redirected railgun slugs with point defense guns*
Did You Think I Came Unaware? I Know What You Are And What Your Stones Are Capable Of. None Will Have Any Effect On Me. Perhaps You Are In Need Of Education.
-Unit: I.F.S. Armageddon.
-Class: Apocalypse-Class Vessel
The Apocalypse-Class ships were among the final products of the pre-Collapse Federation. Built with the specific job description of being able to permanently kill Elder Gods single-handedly, by a civilization that ranked a solid III on the Kardashev scale, they are immensely powerful, not to mention immensely immense. Approximately the size of a small gas giant, and each weighing in at around 100 times the mass of a typical star system due to being powered by a zero-point energy reactor built of a midsize black hole, one of the Apocalypse-Class's most powerful weapons is in fact nothing more than an offshoot of the gravitic control systems it uses to hide its own mass and refuel itself, allowing it to focus enough gravity on a single point to instantly crumple even the strongest of materials into tiny pellets of neutronium. Considering their nature, it goes without saying that Apocalypse-Class vessels violate several physical laws merely by existing, and the same systems that allow them to continue doing so also provide complete immunity to external sources of reality alteration, an absolute must for ships that were built to fight beings frequently armed with such abilities. These effects even extend to a distance of approximately 5 kilometers outside of the ship's hull, preventing most forms of indirect assault via reality alteration as well. Apocalypse-Class vessels are also heavily armed and armored against conventional threats, mounting enough firepower that shattering entire planets is an easy task, and enough armor and force barriers that resisting such attacks in turn is nearly effortless. They are also fully sentient and sapient, as well as capable of self-repair and self-improvement.
As an individual, I.F.S. Armageddon is a veteran of the Collapse Wars, and one of the last surviving Apocalypse-Class vessels. It benefits from vast experience, as well as the captured essence of half a dozen Elder Gods that no longer exist due to its actions. And, of course, the combination of 'Self-improving' with 'has survived for longer than the entire human race (chronological time; not counting time-travel shenanigans)' has also lead to some frankly ridiculous results.
*generates a gravitational singularity centered on Ultron's forehead, instantly placing him inside the event horizon of a tiny, localized, black hole.*
A man went into a bank to cash a check. In handing over the money the cashier, by mistake, gave him dollars for cents and cents for dollars. He pocketed the money without examining it, and spent a nickel on his way home. He then found that he possessed exactly twice the amount of the check. He had no money in his pocket before going to the bank. What was the exact amount of that check?