Dwarf Fighter

Generic Dwarf #112's page

43 posts. Alias of Ventnor.


Pulg wrote:
How do you keep them up - with suspenders made from granite, I assume?

Shale, actually.

I like carving pants out of granite.

... just thought I’d put that out there.

I’m a dwarf who occupies space. Close enough.

The next poster also takes up space.

I thought it was very self-explanatory myself.

I’m Pulg’s haberdasher! He prefers to wear hats made of the fanciest rocks, a service I am happy to provide!


Dot dot dot

But I named my car Megaroader! Guess I'll have to abandon it...

Moral Standard: An elephant never forgets.

Ms. Invisible Beard

Excuse me Mr. Great Wyrm Dragon, would you mind it terribly if we- *is torn to shreds*

Moral Standard: Have faith


Elftonius Elfington III, Elf of the Elven Council

I forge them hats out of mithril and adamantine I do, in the fires of the hottest volcano in the plane of elemental fire. If I used any lesser materials, the hats would just shatter upon being brought near the... erm... area.

The next poster lives in a volcano.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm sorry hungry orphans. You'll just have to starve to death so we can bury this unicorn instead of feeding you in the middle of a famine.

Moral Standard: Necromancy is the evilest of dark magics and should never be used.


Beards are what make the world go 'round!

Stately KahnyaGnorc Manor is stately in name only.

*Forges confetti into a mythical broadsword*

Pinned kamquats are my favorite! Gimme those!


Needs more beard.

The pretty naked lady who approaches Goofus straight up tells him that she's a succubus and is going to eat his soul. He grapples her anyway.

Gallant could wear a Barbezu Beard to get an extra attack, but decides not to since it doesn't fit his character concept.

4/10. Get out in the sun more!

Down in front!

Shoulda gotten better seats...

Why do you never call, Brother? I am so lonely!

1 person marked this as a favorite.


My name's Generic Dwarf #112. I have 200 identical siblings.

I haven't seen my chin in 4000 years!

Now, I'm no fancy big-city gardener like some of you, but I thought that radioactive waste wasn't an especially good fertilizer for... um... plants.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Back in my day, you were considered a narcissist if you had a name at first level.

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Back in the day, I walked into my pantry for a snack and discovered a secret door that lead to Undermountain. True story.

Oatmeal is, in the Big Bad Wolf's opinion, an oxymoron. You can't make a meal out of oats! That's just crazy talk!

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I stepped onto a battlefield, and then everyone screamed and ran away. What does it take to get a little action around here? #level20gorumiteproblems

*Pops out of a nearby tunnel, grabs the win, and retreats back into the tunnel, never breaking eye contact with I'm Hiding In Your Closet*

1d4 Goblin Babies wrote:
Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra wrote:
Not unless you can out-parp 76 (fairy) trombones, AT THE BIG PARADE.
Parp? Parp! PARP! Moum I can roun arcoss the parp. I can do it. I CAN DO IT! I CAN GO TO THE PARPY!!!

Not until you determine how many goblin babies there actually are you can't!

And a dwarven brigade of bagpipers!

I'm gonna need those cymbals back now. They were forged by my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gre at-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-grandpappy, they were.



Generic Dwarf #113

Anonymous Warrior's actual name is Warren Nimus.

Intentional beard!

Michael McNoNose

Would you believe that they have their Floating Fortress hover only inches above the ground just to screw with us?

Let's challenge all the Fortress People to a drinking contest!