Moral Standard: It is wrong to kick puppies.
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What about when you're telling someone their relatives died? "Please be informed that your brother is now dead. Thank you." comes off rather condescending, and implies that you're thanking them for killing their brother.
Moral Standard: It is wrong to ignore strangers when they ask for your help.
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So if a murderer asks you "Can you help me hide the body?" you should just do it?
Moral Standard: It is impolite to stare.
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What if you're a dragon moderating a messageboard, and there's a baby posting rude comments? I suppose we just have to ask them politely to stop? They won't listen! They're a baby!
Moral Standard: It is good to tip your waiter!
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Oh yeah??? So if you can't go cow-tipping, you go for waiters instead???
Moral standard: Love thy neighbour.
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I tried that whole love they neighbor thing and they hit me with a restraining order!
Morale standard: Treat others how you wish to be treated
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That's not so right if you are a masochist!
Moral standard: You must lend your bus seat to elderly people.
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And not young people? That's blatant ageism! If you had your way, we'd all be slaves to octogenarians!
Moral Standard: You shouldn't set fire to people's houses.
So if you're tempted to do good deeds, you just shouldn't give into that temptation, right?
Moral Standard: Lying is wrong.
Hey, I have stood for hours, ok?
Moral standard: Turn the other cheek.
Shee-yit. People either don't know, don't show, or don't care 'bout what's goin' on in tha hood.
Moral Standard Don't eat unicorns!
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I'm sorry hungry orphans. You'll just have to starve to death so we can bury this unicorn instead of feeding you in the middle of a famine.
Moral Standard: Necromancy is the evilest of dark magics and should never be used.
So no Death Ward for you, even if that means you'll be dying from negative levels.
Moral standard: Live and let live
Paladins who bite their nails should make penitence or fall!
Moral standard: The customer is always right.
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I know there's an Adamantine Flaming +3 Longsword in this mud hut you call a shop! And don't give me that "we're too poor to feed ourselves" crap! I will proceed to murderhobo at you until you give it to me!
Moral Standard: You must gather your party before venturing forth.
What's that? The orphanage is on fire and all of the children are trapped inside? Okay, just give me three hours and I'll be there. Our Wizard just needs 2 more hours to finish up his 8 hours of rest and another hour on top of that to memorize his spells, but after that we'll be there before you know it!
Moral Standard: Do a good turn daily.
Paladins are not a SAD class, so get off my case!
Moral standard: Stay away from the voodoo!
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And here I was letting you off easy. Okay, guys, fetch the blowtorch and the pair of tweezers.
Moral standard: It's not you, it's me.
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That's what Agent Smith said.
Moral Standard: Don't stay up until late.
So I guess people on early morning airplane flights are just evil now, then?
Moral Standard: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
I don't think it would be nice for you to realize you have catched fire, I'd rather say nothing.
Moral Standard: Make love, not war.
Following your advice, I chose not to buckle the safety belt of my trusty crash-test dummy that I crafted entirely from gold. It went flying when the car crashed, smashing through the windshield and crushing a small child. Good job.
Moral Standard: Give a hoot, don't pollute!
Each time you breathe you release CO2 into the air. Stop breathing.
Moral statement: Primum non nocere (first do no harm).
Ruptured appendicitis? Well, that's too bad. See, the surgeon refuses to harm your skin.
Moral standard: Bros before hos.
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Since all the farmers have been looking for brothers rather than maintaining their hoes, there is now no more food. Good idea!
Moral Standard: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
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Tell that to the man at the pet store every time I try to trade a "gently used" parakeet for two fully grown turkeys.
Moral Standard: Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.
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Except for doors. Knock first unless you want to get arrested for home invasion.
Moral Standard: He who laughs last, laughs best.
I know! That one is easy: you use some of the souls that you have gained to bargain to get your soul back, and it's done!
Moral Standard: Just be yourself.
What about if you spend all your time hiding in peoples closets?
moral standard: The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.
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In the same way that destroying a corruptible soul is inherently right? I think not!
Moral Standard: Pay your taxes to benefit society.
Society uses my tax money for BS stuff that I don't approve of.
moral standard: you should steal candy from babies.
They cannot speak so they can never blame you! The perfect crime!
Moral Standard: Never split the party
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Oooookay, Joey just failed his Reflex save and fell into the horrible-looking pit. Let's get going everyone.
Moral standard: You're not you when you're hungry.
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Good to know. Then it wasn't me who ate all that people. I feel better now.
Moral Standard: Good soldiers follow orders
So, I guess bad soldiers would stop marching off that cliff that Sarge said we needed to march off of then?
Moral Standard: Never grapple a succubus
Unless you want to be in a grapple with her for 6 years, of course.
Moral Standard: You have to share with the other kids.
Of course! I am going to share all this rare diseases with them! They'll be so grateful!
Moral Standard: You have to be your brother's keeper.
I am. After keeping my brother for six years, he wants to get out of the cell.
Moral standard: You snooze, you lose.