Goofus just shoots the guy under the table the moment it looks bad for him.
Gallant goes out of his way to maintain a pretty extensive library of gaming supplements in case they're useful to the people he plays with.
Goofus maintains the largest collection of roleplaying books and supplements most people have ever seen. And he refuses to let anyone touch them with their greasy, filthy hands. (Never mind that Goofus only showers once a week.)
Gallant vacuums the rug thoroughly before his friends come over, since he owns a cat and one of them is lightly allergic to cat dander.
Goofus locks his cat inside with no litter box, letting it urinate all over the table. When his "friends" come over, he takes the cat and uses it to bludgeon the person who is allergic.
Gallant makes characters that fit well into the setting, some of which have been influenced by characters from previous campaigns, so that he can help the GM show how the group's actions have consequences, and to illustrate different perspectives on said actions.
Goofusmaru the Psionic Warforged Ninja is suitable for every setting!
Gallant always keeps a spare dagger in his boot, just in case.
Goofus keeps his daggers lodged in his friends.
Gallant has a variety of board and card games so the night isn't a total wash if a player has to cancel at the last minute.
Goofus brings in outside snacks, and when no one is looking, steals the snacks that the FLGS is selling anyway.
One of Gallant's players isn't having fun with her character. Gallant helps the player rebuild the character to be more in line with what the player wants, and makes said rebuilding a plot point in the campaign.
Goofus does not tolerate this. If they made the character, they have to be happy with it forever, or else. He burns down the players house and brutally murders them.
When one of Gallant's players has to leave the campaign for important reasons, Gallant understands. He ties them leaving into the story, creating a small adventure short enough for the player to play one last time, just to serve as a proper sendoff.
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Goofus sends his departing player off by dropping a house on their character, to the delight of a suddenly-appearing horde of singing and dancing midgets (not Gnomes, not Kender - midgets).
When Gallant's super-high-level players all achieve immortality or incredible longevity by various means, he plans a truly epic campaign arc of history-shaping plots spanning hundreds, even thousands, of years, in which a typical game session encapsulates an in-game timespan of decades rather than days.
Goofus does the same, only he reveals at the end of the last session that the party was actually killed in the first dungeon and the rest of the campaign was a collective dying dream that they shared.
Gallant will occasionally run one-shot game sessions when his GM is feeling burned out or didn't have time to prepare for game night.
Goofus takes over the campaign, continuing it without the GM's notes or even permission, making things up as he goes along whether they make sense or not and casually retconnnig backstory details in and out on a whim.
After a financial windfall, Gallant invests in one of those fancy GeekChic tables to spruce up the gaming room.
After a financial windfall, Goofus spends it on illegal drugs and prostitutes, and uses both on the game table. Which isn't in his house.
Gallant is patient with new players, aware that their odd, perhaps disruptive behaviours, may just be holdovers from previous experiences roleplaying in different medias.
Goofus's wizard rolled a 19 on his will saving throw and still got dominated.
Gallant wants to take the leadership feat next level. He works together with his GM to design a cohort that fits well into the campaign's story and doesn't unduly unbalance the game.
Goofus just wants to kill a guy and claim his stronghold and private army, rather than pay what he sees is a 'feat tax' that can be circumvented with a high BAB.
Gallant takes special care to respect the holiday traditions and religious beliefs of his players, especially if they're reflected in the game in any way.
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Goofus made his dreidel out of Gallant.
Gallant makes sure that he never makes any obvious mistakes when confronting do-Goode's, like monologuing or leaving them in elaborate death traps.
Goofus goes into such vivid, disgusting, gruesome, and appalling description of what he does to captured heroes (Violating every term in the Geneva Convention, Medieval Knightly Codes, seven of the Ten Commandments, and multiple sins across multiple religions) that the group immediately regrets playing an SuperVillain campaign. You think they'd have learned after the time they tried an evil campaign.
Gallant celebrates the new year with a glass of wine, while surrounded by friends.
Goofus celebrates the New Year by drinking the blood of his friends.
Gallant asks permission before playing a character with homebrewed content.
Goofus' long-winded, rambling, legalese-laden, slightly insulting and condescending diatribe on why 'homebrew' is an insulting term and his new content is just as legitimate as what was published by the game creators is making the rounds on Youtube. It's popular enough to have gotten stupid statement remixes made from it, and an entry on Know Your Meme under 'Nonsensical Munchkin's Rant.'
Gallant keeps a detailed campaign journal, so he can inform the group of what happened in previous games, especially if the campaign has gone on for years.
Goofus's campaign journal consists of a bunch of doodling he did, most of which is not work safe.
Gallant doesn't antagonize NPCs that are only trying to help his party.
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Gallant antagonizes everyone and everything he comes across - law enforcement, store owners, children walking down the street, dogs, cats, birds. Oh you mean in-game - yeah he does it there, too.
Gallant decided to donate the money he had saved for a new RPG supplement to the local Red Cross instead.
Goofus spent the last of his money on a custom miniature for his PC, and thus has no more money for groceries this week. But look at the figure! It's PERFECT for Sharvis the Druid! And, hell, he can just eat up the snacks provided at the table, right?
Gallant asks his miniature painting friend to paint a few miniatures, but is sure to offer payment for the time, be it money, or just giving him a hand the next time his friend asks.
Goofus asks his miniature-painting friend to paint a few miniatures, then fakes having his house robbed to disguise the fact that he sold them online.
Gallant's alchemist always double-checks his infusions to make sure that he didn't poison them by mistake.
Goofus's "alchemist" is wanted in 3 separate kingdoms for narcotics-related crimes and 2 others for excessive use of explosives.
Gallant volunteers at his local Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Because Goofus has used the Internet a couple of times, the new regime appoints him as their cyber security expert.
After a long grueling week, Gallant leaves all his troubles at the door to enjoy gaming with his friends.
Goofus just kills shopkeepers and loots the buildings rather than bother asking about inventory. Or paying. Or checking if it's even a store. This really disturbed the group when he walked into an elementary school.
Gallant stays away from political discussions during game time, knowing that several players have rather sharply divided political viewpoints. He encourages them to remember their common friendship, and focus on the game.
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Goofus shows up to the gaming table with "Pepe, the noble grippli inquisitor of The Donald, who kills any who disagree with his god".
Gallant shows up to games sober, since the host requested there be no alcohol.
Goofus never makes it to the game, because he's arrested for drunk driving every time he drives over.
Gallant wants to GM an evil campaign. He hashes out some baseline rules about what kind of evil PCs are allowed with his players so that everyone will be able to enjoy the game.
Goofus starts every new campaign with a 12-hour 'introduction' session, where the PCs are feeried around the world by one of Goofus' former PCs, now powerful GMPC, and it consists purely of the GMPC talking about the world and how awesome it is. (Or the GMPC talking about himself and how awesome he is.) There are encounter breaks where the group meets some ultra-powerful threat that the GMPC easily handles. There's a reason Goofus hasn't gotten a campaign started in ten years.
Gallant reads the lore behind character classes for inspiration.
Goofus grabs behinds for inspiration.
Gallant's last character sacrificed himself holding the bridge from an onrushing army, allowing both his fellow party members and the refugees they were escorting to escape safely. With his final move he cut the ropes causing both him and the invaders' greatest warriors to fall to their deaths.
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Goofus rendered that sacrifice moot minutes later when he cast Make Whole on the bridge because "Lol I'm Chaotic Neutral you guys!"
Gallant takes the noble title that the king granted him for service to the kingdom seriously, and always looks out for the welfare of the people placed in his charge.
Goofus never got a noble title. *crying noises*
Gallant made sure that no matter what type of game he was playing, he was kind to the DM's wishes.
Goofus, whether inside or outside of the game, attempts to summon demons to grant his own wishes.
Gallant is DMing a campaign where one of his players wishes to play a paladin that falls and is then redeemed. Gallant works with all of the players to create a story-line for this that not only meshes with the main campaign but is one that all of the players enjoy.
Goofus arranges for NPCs to sneak the flesh of children into the paladin PC's food just to declare them a cannibal and strip them of their powers.
Gallant celebrates the 10-year anniversary of a particularly memorable campaign by writing a story revisiting some NPCs whose lives the group touched.
Goofus celebrates the 1-month marker of his current campaign, since its the longest he's been able to keep a campaign going.
Gallant's gunslinger makes sure that his pistol is in tip-top condition by spending an hour maintaining it every day.
Goofus's gunslinger carries enough firearms of various sizes and types, all loaded, to equip a large army because he's too lazy to even reload them, much less maintain them.
Gallant's latest character is a vigilant that is not based on any existing character or franchise.
When the mob and the press and the whole world tell Goofus that Commander Andoran, his vigilante character, is a complete ripoff of Captain America, his job is to plant himself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No he's not!"
One of Gallant's players really wants to play a samurai in his next campaign. Together, they work out where in the game world the samurai came from and why he teamed up with the other PCs.
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Goofus designs Pathfinder rules for a turnip truck just so he can drop his player's character off in it.
Gallant presents the pretty naked lady in the pond with some nice flowers, causing her to reveal that she's a rusalka, and to decide that maybe she shouldn't drown him since he's so sweet (though she'll still be compelled to if he's fool enough to step in the water).
The pretty naked lady who approaches Goofus straight up tells him that she's a succubus and is going to eat his soul. He grapples her anyway.
Gallant could wear a Barbezu Beard to get an extra attack, but decides not to since it doesn't fit his character concept.
Goofus's beard is so full of various materials that not only could he use it to naturally get an attack without use of feats but said attack would also carry the risk of causing various diseases to those struck. In fact, the smell emanating from the beard could be considered an attack itself.
Gallant's party notices a pack of rust monsters further down the tunnel. Rather getting scared Gallant sheaths his sword and removes his chainmail then pulls out the simple wooden club and dons the leather armor he carries for just such an occurrence.
Goofus feeds the party's metal equipment to the rust monsters in an attempt to tame them as pets.
When Gallant designs a puzzle for his players that's based on a board game like chess, he makes sure to study the game to make sure the puzzle makes sense.
While scouting ahead, Goofus notices a pack of rust monsters and doesn't inform his party about them. After their gear is all eaten, Goofus offers to sell the extra armor and weapons he's been carrying to the other PCs with exorbitant markups.
Gallant uses elements in the backstories of his players' PCs to give the PCs a personal stake in the plot of the campaign.
Goofus mercilessly killed every background character from the PCs stories on the first session so they could stick to the main story.
Gallant asked his players to be nice with the new player that is joining today and is trying to introduce his new character to the party in a non disruptive and believable way.
When Gallant designs a puzzle for his players that's based on a board game like chess, he makes sure to study the game to make sure the puzzle makes sense.
When Goofus designs puzzles for his players, he bases them off 90's point and click adventure titles. What's that? You didn't pick up that wagon wheel and the beggar's tin cup from the last town? TPK!
Gallant asked his players to be nice with the new player that is joining today and is trying to introduce his new character to the party in a non disruptive and believable way.
Goofus insisted on the rest of his group joining in on the hazing rituals for the new player, including the Rug Burn Challenge and the Walk of a Thousand Four-Siders. He then just has the new player's character walk in and join the group without any introduction or RPing in order to 'speed things along.'
*****
Gallant plays a quick game of Paranoia with the group. He reminds everyone that betrayal is hard-baked into the game, and not to take it too personally.
Goofus plays a quick game of Paranoia with the group. The PCs have a delightful romp through Alpha Complex with no one getting backstabbed once.
When he realizes that his usual battle plan isn't working, Gallant retreats to formulate a new strategy.
Goofus does the same, leaving other PCs as a barrier between him and the BBEG to ensure his character survives.
Gallant carefully plans strategies that include each member of the group so everybody is useful.