For those of us that took day jobs in the beginning, are those ever going to come back up?
Apart from how you continue to interact among the residents of Heldren, they may very well, but perhaps not exactly in the way you'll expect.
Also, Neela brought up being allowed to see enemy dice rolls. I've mulled it over, and she's probably in the right. If the rolls don't conflict with party knowledge then I'll make them visible.
Because I've GMed the game, Vanya will be especially clueless when it comes to traps and surprises. (We quit after the first book so I'm not completely spoiled thank goodness.)
So I think I have to level with you guys. At the beginning of this game, right about a few days before recruitment was supposed to close some... unfortunate things crept into my life. I'm not going to exaggerate. They weren't irreparable catastrophes. They were bad things that happened to people I am close to, and that's about as far as I'm going to get into that.
They were things I thought I'd be able to handle. Sure they soaked up my time, especially combined with a rather busy semester, but I knew at the time I could handle them physically and I really wanted to make this game happen in the way I wanted to. What I didn't account for, however, was the emotional drain. When I set out to GM a play by post, I knew it'd take a long time each night to write out each post. I found it fun and interesting at first, but I began to notice my posts becoming more difficult. I began to notice the change when something I set out to do for fun on the side became somewhat of a chore. I told myself I'd give it a week. If I still felt the same way, I'd level with you guys and quit it. That was about two and a half weeks ago. I put it off some more and hoped changing pace would spur things along, but I've lost almost all sense of inspiration, for this game and for most of my other writing.
You guys are probably a lot smarter than I am, so I'm sure you can see where this is going. We've only been at this a month, I know. I feel miserable, partly because of the amount of time I've tried pumping into this game, short as its been, but mostly because of the amount of time and effort you guys have put into it. You sacrificed your free time with the assurance that I'd provide the playground with which you guys could use these highly complex, interesting and motivated characters, and now I'm jumping ship like some kind of childish cretin who's tired of playing on the jungle gym and is yelling at his mother to take him home. But I feel it'd be a worse crime to drag this game along through the mire of mediocrity knowing the problems I'm having won't be going away anytime soon.
I'm afraid, guys, I'm going to have to end my involvement in this game. I've played too many games where a bored or busy GM cuts and runs when he or she can't find the impetus to continue a game further and that's why I refuse to do that here. It's rather shitty that I've gone and wasted your time, but it'd be even shittier if I didn't have the balls to tell you guys in person... well in text format. So it goes.
This is not to say you guys don't have any choice in the matter. You guys are more than welcome to try and find another GM and I'll do whatever's in my limited, nigh nonexistent and totally misplaced power to help see that happen, but I don't think I can nor want to put the game on an impromptu hiatus when I know it's more than likely I won't make it return. I also don't think I'd like to see another game end as the GM slowly descends into apathy and malevolence. This might sound somewhere on the side of melodramatic, but I don't want to see myself become that.
So again, I'm sorry, so sorry that it's come to this. You fellas are a really cool bunch of dedicated people. I chose a party based solely on what I saw was an attention to detail in character, creating living, breathing intelligent beings that didn't fit a stereotype or a cliche. They were cool, and I wish this had turned out differently because if there's one thing I was excited for it was integrating your awesome characters into the adventure path. That's why I started this thing in the first place, to truly change the rail-roady and creatively stale environment of an adventure path into something personal and interesting. My greatest regret, really, is not that it couldn't be done, but that, at least not here, I wont be able to see that happen.
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Don't worry about doing what you have to do. I caught a glimpse of the high quality of this game and was consistently impressed with your writing. If you find your burdens easing in coming months, please send me a message if you decide to return to this game or another. I've had to close games before (Kingmaker of Korvosa being especially heartbreaking), so I understand completely.
Agreed with Doc. You've been a pleasure to work with.
Don't stress about this decision- like you said, PbP is a leisure activity; it's not supposed to be a chore.
You are a great DM/GM. Thanks for giving us closure.
Indeed!
It is definitely a shame - as the others said, you have done an excellent job. But you have your reasons, and I can respect that.
Thanks, everybody, for being so understanding. It means a lot.
As you said, Malefactor, it's supposed to be fun. :)