COOKING UP TROUBLE - GM Firedove's Campaign

Game Master Lady Firedove

GM Note if I am selected I will create a new profile for him
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Before Cooking all the dishes I use one of my scrolls of crafters fortune for the day, and cast purify food and drink on all of the food for this for the purest taste
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Profession(Cook): 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (15) + 11 = 26

Craft(Cheese)Cherry Tomatoes Filled with Goat Cheese : 1d20 + 14 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 14 + 5 = 31

Craft(Cheese)Figs with Ox Cheese, Pecans and Wild Boar Bacon: 1d20 + 14 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 14 + 5 = 26

Craft(Cheese)Buffalo Cheese- Cheesecake: 1d20 + 14 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 14 + 5 = 20

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
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CHEF INTERVIEW

"Greetings! I am Lord Schmultzfeather, and this is Lady Schmultzfeather. Who are you, and why do you want to be a chef at my fine new restaurant?"

Greetings Lord and Lady Schmultzfeather, my name is Bahram Von-Humperdinck at your service, I want to Cook at your restaurant because I know that it is the finest establishment this side of the sea. I am looking forward to becoming your next Cheese chef!

"I see; I see. Which is your Consumable Specialty?"

Ah, as you will surely taste my specialty is Cheese, but not just one cheese all types of cheese from Goat cheese to Ox cheese to the rare Buffalo cheeses.

"Please describe the three Consumable Specialty samples you have brought as we taste them now..."

Yes sir, Frist you will taste my Appetizer Cherry Tomatoes Filled with Goat Cheese. Next is my Main course Figs with Ox Cheese, Pecans and Wild Boar Bacon, And for dessert today we have a Buffalo Cheese Cheesecake. Each Cheese you will find has a distinct flavor profile, and an earthly aroma.

"Interesting flavors! Now, explain exactly why I should hire you (and not someone else) for this elite position."

My Liège, I have been trained by the best of the best at the culinarian school in Absalom, and I have been looking for a place to give my skills to. So I can Hone them even more and make it so that I am the greatest Cheese chef in the world

[i] Bold, Daring, and Triumphant

"Finally, please indulge me a strange question: What makes you laugh the most?"

What makes me laugh sir? Hmm… what really makes me laugh is a good joke or two, after a pint or three of good dwarven ale.

"Thank you; thank you. You'll be called for if you are chosen. Next!"

Tessara's background and stuff are finished.

Chef Interviews So Far:

Kehlysch - Seafood Specialist - Male Gillman Sorcerer (Aberrant)
Dinte Dolce, "Sweet Tooth" - Dessert Specialist - Male Half-elf Investigator (Empiricist)
Phillip Gastone - Meat Specialist - Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist)
Ashley Kusuma Na-ti - Drink Specialist - Male Human Bard (Geisha)
Tessara of the Great Green - Bread Specialist - Female Elf Investigator
Vincent Del Sol - Soup Specialist - Male Human Fighter
Bahram Von-Humperdinck - Cheese Specialist - Male Human Rogue

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That only leaves the Vegetable Specialist position, and I believe DeathQuaker may be working on one of those, pending the return of her internet access. And, if she doesn't submit one, I have my back-up NPC idea.

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(Is there anyone else out there who is already creating a chef character and/or writing up a chef interview submission? Speak now, or you may lose your chance...)

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So, we may be looking at a nice set of 7-8 players here! All of the interviews showed creativity and promise, and in a little-to-no combat game, having 7-8 players shouldn't make the game drag.

I do have just a few comments and concerns:

Krumthi, you will likely be chosen if you can create a decent profile for Bahram. I liked your interview ... but, I'd like to actually see your crunch (character sheet, including traits and such) and some backstory (doesn't have to be more than a paragraph) before making the final decision. (Plus, it's helpful to see which alias picture you have in mind for him as I plan and prepare... I don't want to choose the same one for key NPCs!) Can you pull that together over the next couple days?

MannyGoblin, your Phillip character is certainly darker than I had expected for this rather lighthearted cooking-roleplay game of non-evil PCs and not much of a combat focus. He's definitely an interesting character, though, and you seem like a very creative player. A character causing some dramatic tension/competition and with a darker sense of humor could be fun. However, I just want to make sure, can you enjoy playing Phillip without making him take evil actions against the other characters in the story?

Gilthanis, it's interesting to see this version of Vincent instead of the blonde boy version. ;) I like the character, though. When you post in-character, I'd appreciate it if you could use bold tags and quotation marks for your character's spoken dialogue. Also, please pick 3 traits & a drawback, and add more crunch to your character's profile at some point in the next couple days. Thanks!

*All those who have already interviewed: Please finish any remaining crunch in your profile and make sure you have some backstory in there as well. Please also check to make sure your character fits all the requirements in the OP for this thread, and has used average starting gold by class to purchase any desired equipment.*

I'm looking forward to getting going with this! :)

I will be sure not to make a meal of the issue and is happy to collaborate with fellow chefs to make a banquet.

Unless he is rejected of course.

Rejected! They didn't appreciate his genius!

Well he will show them, he will show them ALL!!

Because the main course for tonight is DEATH!

I'll do that tomorrow while I am at work I'll make sure to have everything for you

The information is also inside my profile as well, but here it is for everyone to see.
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not a serious application and no char sheet, but the interview is just too tempting to pass. Apologies to my avatar for abusing her this way, but it might teach her some good.

A slender redhead enters the interview room. She is dressed more like a hunter than a chef. She is visibly nervous, and fails to cover that with her too broad smile - which she promotly realizes. She fidgets with the knife at her belt.

"Greetings! I am Lord Schmultzfeather, and this is Lady Schmultzfeather. Who are you, and why do you want to be a chef at my fine new restaurant?"

Hi. I'm Foxglove. I need this job because... I mean I'd love to be a chef, it's like my life-long dream. And I can cook too. I mean like I can get you some really special stuff the others can't. That's what you advertised for, wasn't it?

"I see; I see. Which is your Consumable Specialty?"

Um... Vegetables? Or at least I think they all are counted as that.

"Please describe the three Consumable Specialty samples you have brought as we taste them now..."

Ok. Here we go:
For your starter, a simple peasant dish of bread and jam. The bread is bark bread - sorry, it's very hard to get to rise properly - made with bark from a treant. The jam is a mix of normal blackberries and wolfberries, which is hard to find because they change appearance to blend in - and of course you have to kill the bush. I've wondered if it would be possible to grow them on purpose, but the druids are all like "don't mess with that stuff" so I stick with feral ones for now.

Ummm.. three? Does the treant and wolfberry count as separate entries? Only I wanted try to make Moonflower licorice but it took so long to track the damn thing and when it turned out it tastes all funny it was too late to go out and hunt another vegetable. I mean, you're welcome to taste it, but it didn't exactly... I was more thinking to let the alchemists play with it.

"Interesting flavors! Now, explain exactly why I should hire you (and not someone else) for this elite position."
Because... huh? You have someone else who can make vegepygmy steak? Really? I was pretty sure I was the only one. Anyway - they are likely to be killed by the pygmies one of these days anyway, so there you have it - I'll be your only choice after all.

"If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?"
Crafty, pretty, and ...um.. no, I know: cunning veggie hunter, sir?

"Finally, please indulge me a strange question: What makes you laugh the most?"

She blushes bright pink and glances nervously at the Lady.
Being tickled, Sir. Umm... actually being tied up and tickled. It makes me totally lose... ahem... but I assure you that wouldn't happen at your fine restaurant here. Promise.

"Thank you; thank you. You'll be called for if you are chosen. Next!"

Oh... um, that's ok. Sorry.

Thanks for your patience.

I am finalizing the character still, but the alias with the character sheet is here: Mimi. I need to write in the history but the crunch is largely done. ETA: History now done. Comments and corrections appreciated.

I recognize the concept/character may not suit the tone of your game--although the attempt is to be humorous, it's supposed to be very deadpan and I don't know how well I will carry that off. If she ends up not being suitable or steps on someone else's toes that's fine, just let me know.

What follows is my interview, but I wrote the narrative before checking the die rolls, so I may edit post die roll if I rolled spectacularly badly (or well). (ETA: Editing finished.)

Disclaimer: Mimi is not social, charming, diplomatic or in any way a “people person.” She will be off putting and I accept her answers would not necessarily be “good interview responses.” OTOH, most chefs, stereotypically speaking, are notoriously not polite people.

CHEF INTERVIEW

On your appointed day, after you have spent time in Lord Schmultzfeather's sizable and well-appointed kitchen preparing, you are ushered out past two armed guards, and into a fine hall. An elegant elderly couple sit behind a table, holding silver utensils and facing you. A servant gestures for you to place the three dishes you've brought onto the table in front of the gentleman and lady. As you do so, another servant casts a spell (detect poison), squints at what you've brought, then nods in approval. The elderly gentleman speaks up in a raspy-yet-friendly voice, eagerly asking you the following questions, and nodding while listening to your answers.

"Greetings! I am Lord Schmultzfeather, and this is Lady Schmultzfeather. Who are you, and why do you want to be a chef at my fine new restaurant?"

The wiry chef enters with a graceful, measured pace, her chef whites immaculate. Hanging off her apron is a thick sheath containing her butterfly swords.

She narrows her eyes at the servant who casts detect poison on her food. She has more than enough discipline and restraint to say nothing, but her face briefly but obviously displays outrage at the suggestion that she would have attempted to dishonorably poison Lord Schmultzfeather. Of course, it is possible that her irritated reaction is misread...

Charisma: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8

In fact it is very likely misread. Not a good start...

When addressed, her offense immediately disappears from her face and she takes on a neutral expression, replying in a flat, low voice. “I am Mimi, Chop Fu Master of the North and black belt bearer in Mush-Chung-Room. Your restaurant would benefit from my mastery, and I would gain an irreplaceable opportunity to learn from this region and the other chefs.”

"I see; I see. Which is your Consumable Specialty?"

“Produce.”

"Please describe the three Consumable Specialty samples you have brought as we taste them now..."

Craft Vegetable: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

She presents the stuffed mushroom caps, piping hot, and full of aromatic pleasures even before they touch the mouth. A hint of shallot and sherry helps play off the rich local fungi, which in turn are set beautifully against the solid, meaty mass of the domestic mushroom cap. Still, while she does a professional job, they are fairly standard stuffed mushrooms.

Craft Vegetable: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21
“Second course: Roasted butternut squash with corn and hazelnut stuffing, with a maple-balsamic reduction. My twist on a Shoanti recipe.”

The squash was roasted whole in its shell, then halved, then filled with a stuffing of both whole corn and corn meal, toasted hazelnuts, mild onions; hints of other aromatic vegetables such as celery and parsnip help tie the stuffing together. The whole dish was re-roasted a few more minutes to finish off the squash and brown the top of the stuffing. In addition to the sauce drizzled over the top, roasted seeds from the squash are also sprinkled on the top as a crunchy garnish. The result is a whole, vegetarian entree, with an expert balance of softness and crunch, and sweet and savory flavors.

Craft Vegetable: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 15
“Third Course: Fresh cucumber salad, with daikon and a hint of chili paste. The flavors should stimulate tongue and digestion, while cleansing your palate.”

Remarkably different from the prior earthy courses, the cucumber is light and crisp, accented with julienned daikon. Just a dash of chili paste and rice vinegar gives the dish a bit of “something something in terms of flavor, while the vegetables indeed leave the eater feeling refreshed, without unpleasant aftertaste lingering in one’s mouth. Not as good as her main course, but a fair attempt at rounding out the meal.

Mimi lets out a breath. This is the most she ever speaks, and she finds it exhausting, but she still maintains her focused demeanor.

"Interesting flavors! Now, explain exactly why I should hire you (and not someone else) for this elite position."

Profession Chef: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27

She walks over to a table, and produces from her apron pocket a carrot, scallions, swiss chard, and some radishes, and places them on the table. With a liquid-smooth gesture, she draws the butterfly swords from her sheath and with rhythmic rat-a-tat-tat peels and chops the vegetables with lightning speed, so that in just a minute or so, on the table is a gorgeous, colorful, mandala-shaped display of finely chopped vegetables garnished with radish “roses.” She sweeps any peels and stems into her apron to be discarded later, leaving no mess for the servants to clean.

She stares at the lord as if to say, “Does that answer your question?”

"If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?"

She blinks once and pauses a bit before replying. “Focused. Dedicated.” She pauses again, and gives her third, most enigmatic answer. “Unfinished.”

"Finally, please indulge me a strange question: What makes you laugh the most?"

“I do not laugh.”

"Thank you; thank you. You'll be called for if you are chosen. Next!"

Mimi bows stiffly, then exits.

This is going to be hilarious awesome trainwreck. :) Maybe I should have gone all hillbilly BBQ expert.

LOL

Well, I'm excited!

Bahram and Mimi look good!

(The humor works for me, DQ, and you actually make the vegetable dishes sound delicious, which is impressive to me, since I don't actually like veggies much IRL.)

stealthy redhead, that was hilarious. If you want to create a ditzy vegetable-hunter alias for this game to match that interview, as long as she can actually cook well, I would most likely accept it!

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Actual Chef Interviews:

Kehlysch - Seafood Specialist - Male Gillman Sorcerer (Aberrant)
Dinte Dolce, "Sweet Tooth" - Dessert Specialist - Male Half-elf Investigator (Empiricist)
Phillip Gastone - Meat Specialist - Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist)
Ashley Kusuma Na-ti - Drink Specialist - Male Human Bard (Geisha)
Tessara of the Great Green - Bread Specialist - Female Elf Investigator
Vincent Del Sol - Soup Specialist - Male Human Fighter
Bahram Von-Humperdinck - Cheese Specialist - Male Human Rogue
Mimi, Master of Chop Fu - Vegetable Specialist - Female Human Monk (Wanderer)

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*All those who have already interviewed: Please finish any remaining crunch in your profile and make sure you have some backstory in there as well. Please also check to make sure your character fits all the requirements in the OP for this thread, and has used average starting gold by class to purchase any desired equipment.*

Have loved reading all these interviews. Wish I could throw my chef's hat in the ring, but I'm sure I wouldn't make such a beautiful interview.

I do plan on reading the actual campaign as it sounds like it's going to be a blast. :)

I hope you enjoy! :)

I'll likely be making final decisions and getting the game going tomorrow or Saturday.

In the meantime, please finish crunch/equipment/backstory/etc.

If we don't use all the $, does it carry over or do we lose it?

You only get average starting gold for your class, but whatever you don't use on equipment, you keep as gold.

A seemingly blind man enters the Audience Chamber.

"Greetings! I am Lord Schmultzfeather, and this is Lady Schmultzfeather. Who are you, and why do you want to be a chef at my fine new restaurant?"

The man bows towards the Schmultzfeathers, then rises and smiles:"My name is Oishi, Oishi Tabemono. I have travelled far and wide, in search of exotic animals to turn into tasty delicacies. Unfortunately, most people do not seem to cherish the "exotic" aspects of my work. I imagine a restaurant such as yours would me more welcoming of my cuisine. As I heared, you are a man of exquisite taste!"

Trying to make a good impression. I used Embrace Destiny before entering, for an extra D20 to use. 1d20 ⇒ 15
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
And a good thing i was prepared, because that means its: 15 + 8 = 23 instead.

"I see; I see. Which is your Consumable Specialty?"

If necessary, another option to use Embrace Destiny here, for my Profession Check 1d20 ⇒ 14

Oishi answers without pausing to think:"Things that were alive. In all manners and forms. There is so much you can do with them, so much you can do with spices, prepare it in so many forms. It is an art form, I assure you."

"Please describe the three Consumable Specialty samples you have brought as we taste them now..."

"First off, as a starter, a Steak Tartar with egg yolk, onions, pepper and capers. It really shows off the quality of the meat."

Taking 10 on Craft Checks(12 by trait). During preparation, use Guidance, then use Focused Trance to top it off.
Craft(Meat): 12 + 15 + 20 = 47

"The second course is a Troll Steak with exotic spices and a fine sauce based on wine and cheese, with a side of carrots and potatos."

As the servant that cast detect poison moves to speak up, Oishi continues:

"You see, it is a common misconception that troll meat should not be consumed by humans. Some nonsense about it continuing to regenerate, then kill you from the inside. Urban Legend, really. The real reason it is not usually consumed is it's texture, it's usually not a very tender meat. Through some special and secret treatment, however, i made sure that its as soft and flavorful as possible. Please enjoy."

Craft(Meat): 12 + 15 + 20 = 47

"And the final course, the dessert, so to say, is a bacon surprise. It is a bacon-based flower of flavour, with alternating layers of bacon, spices, cheeses, and vegetables. Do not be unwise, judge it not by it's size, you won't believe your taste buds, taste the flavours as they rise."

Craft(Meat): 12 + 15 + 20 = 47

"Interesting flavors! Now, explain exactly why I should hire you (and not someone else) for this elite position."

"Because this is what I life for. Everything I did was in the interest of furthering my skill and craftsmanship as a chef. My eyes may fail me, but my other senses compensate adequately. I smell, I taste, I hear the food. As I said, cuisine is art, and i'm an artist, and as a man of taste, I am sure you know this."

"If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?"

Ambitious, curious, savant.

"Finally, please indulge me a strange question: What makes you laugh the most?"

Oishi takes some time to think:"Indeed, a strange question. I would say the sound of children playing warms my heart. The taste of a new flavour warms my spirit. Alas, I would say what makes me laugh the most, is happiness itself. He who is satisfied with his life laughs easily and often."

"Thank you; thank you. You'll be called for if you are chosen. Next!"

Oishi thinks for a moment:"Mylord, there is one more gift I want to share with you. Something that often serves as an inspiration for me. If I may be so bold as to approach?"

If allowed, Oishi casts "Dream Feast" on both Lord and Lady Schmultzfeather

Magnificent food, but too much competition. Regretfully must take steps.

Magnificent food, but too much competition. Regretfully must take steps.

I am truly sorry I took your specialty. Every single one was already spoken for, i honestly did not want to step on anybodys toes.

This is more joke posting

This is more joke posting

Aye, but my Combat Crunch is not finished yet. I don't want to end up as meat pie.

Don't think I'm not well aware of the practise to reduce competition.

Interesting! Will consider...

I suppose I'd better say...

RECRUITMENT IS NOW OFFICIALLY CLOSED.

Thank you for your interest!

I will be making some more decisions and getting this game rolling tonight or tomorrow ...

As I work on opening posts for the game, I thought I'd share these work-in-progress posting guidelines for the gameplay thread with you now. Let me know if you have any questions about them. :)

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POSTING REQUESTS:

Only chosen game-players should make posts in this gameplay thread, and only using game aliases.
(Although, others wishing to follow this campaign for fun may make a single "." post so that it shows up in your campaigns tab. Your character will be marked as previous (so that you don't show up in the party in the players tab), but you as a 'player' will be left as current so you can still follow along as desired.)

Each player should post at least twice per week to stay active in the game. More posts are certainly welcome, though. Significant GM game updates will likely only come once or twice a week, but minor additions or clarifications may possibly be added during the time in between.

A character may be "fired" out of the game at any time. Please do not take this personally if it happens. It is also possible for characters to be "re-hired".

If you have anything that your character would say specifically to another character without letting the whole group hear, put it in a spoiler tag labeled something like

If you would like to roll certain uncalled-for skill checks, feel free to do so. Responses/information/results may come individually or may be reflected generally in the next game update.

Standard text should describe your character's actions in third-person, present tense.
For example:
Jane slumps in the chair, her brown braids falling over her shoulders, and her eyes gazing around the room warily.

Bold text should be put in quotation marks and represent things your character says out loud.
For example:
"I don't know what you're doing here! Clearly I'm the best chef!"

Out of character text should be used for any side comments to the GM or to other players.
For example:
Hey, GM, is it okay if I have Jane notice some food scraps on the ground? She would totally be trying to find something to throw in Jack's face.

Also, let's keep the game friendly, fun, and mostly PG. Thanks! :)

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Decisions are made, and the gameplay and discussion threads for this campaign are now open.
Check 'em out!

This should be the final post in this thread. All further discussion should be moved to the discussion thread.

See you there! :)

This joke kind of already got me laughing during recruitment. Sorry for doing it late ;)

A finely dressed young man enters the Audience Chamber in the Tower.

"Greetings! I am Lord Schmultzfeather, and this is Lady Schmultzfeather. Who are you, and why do you want to be a chef at my fine new restaurant?"

"Hi Dad. Mum. I see you are still as senile as last time I visited home? I don't want to be a Chef at your crazy restaurant, I just came for my allowance."

"I see; I see. Which is your Consumable Specialty?"

"What? Well, I guess consuming alcoholic beverages could be called a specialty of mine, so to say. Not like I'll have to work with what you and my stepmother will leave me as inheritance once you kick the bucket, right?"

"Please describe the three Consumable Specialty samples you have brought as we taste them now..."

A scantily dressed woman enters the room from behind, with a glass of wine and some kind of sandwich in her hands:"Darling, is this gonna be long? You know you pay by the hour, right?"

The young man turns around angrily:"Hu, what? Jane, I TOLD you to wait outside while i handle this. Well Dad, there's Wine from your own Cellar, some bread from your own kitchen, and a courtesan from the nearby city. You wan't to sample any of those, go ahead, but not now."

"Interesting flavors! Now, explain exactly why I should hire you (and not someone else) for this elite position."

"You don't get it, do you? I am not here for an application! I just WANT MONEY from you. Let me guess, next you are gonna ask me to describe myself in three words, right?"

"If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?"

The young man sighs while the woman leaves, snickering. Then he points at Lord Schmultzfeather saying "Dad", then points at Lady Schmultzfeather with his other hand:"Mum", and finally pointing towards himself with both hands "Son".

"Finally, please indulge me a strange question: What makes you laugh the most?"

"Your demencia definitely takes that price. It feels like a freak show every time I come back here. None of you guys feeling uncomfortable about this?" he asks, looking at the servants and guards in the room, not getting an answer. "Fine, fine, i'll just go fetch what I need from the treasury, see you another time, bye"

"Thank you; thank you. You'll be called for if you are chosen. Next!"

The man doesn't turn around as he opens the double doors and leaves: