With Crystalhue upon us, everyone is eager eager to sing, dance, and tell secrets to the Zonzon to air our our grievances for the coming year. But this time of year is also important for financial reasons, and as you begin gathering your receipts and calculating your deductions, we here at the office have decided that it's the perfect time to offer a sneak-peak at our upcoming Pathfinder-branded W2 forms!
Just kidding! Have an awesome new monster!
Golem, Feast
Illustration by Crystal FrasierGrease, glaze, and gravy pour in equal shares from this tottering, man-shaped banquet as it lurches forward. Heavenly aromas pour from its countless components.
Feast Golem CR 6
XP 2,400
N Large construct
Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +2
Aura alluring aroma 30 ft. (DC 19)DEFENSE
AC 16, touch 8, flat-footed 16 (–1 Dex, +8 natural, –1 size)
hp 82 (8d10+38); fast healing 5
Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +2
Defensive Abilities amorphous anatomy, indestructible, slippery; DR 10/bludgeoning; Immune construct traits, magic
Weaknesses delicious
OFFENSE
Speed 40 ft.
Melee 2 claw +11 (1d6+6 plus burn), bite +11 (1d8+4 plus burn)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks burn (1d6, DC 17)
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 8th; concentration +11)
At will—create water, purify food and drink, putrefy food and drink
3/day—polypurpose panacea
1/day—allfood
STATISTICS
Str 19, Dex 8, Con —, Int 8, Wis 11, Cha 17
Base Atk +8; CMB +13; CMD 22 (30 vs. grapple)
Feats Ability Focus (alluring aroma), Eldritch Claws, Improved Initiative, Toughness
Skills Disguise +5 (+13 in kitchens or larders), Escape Artist +0 (+8 to escape grapples), Perception +2, Profession (cook) +4; Racial Modifiers +8 Disguise, +8 Escape Artist
Languages Common (can’t speak)
SQ bountiful corpse, powerful blows (claws), unstoppableECOLOGY
Environment any urban
Organization solitary
Treasure noneSPECIAL ABILITIES
Alluring Aroma (Su) The feast golem exudes a powerful scent that compels creatures to physically attack it. Affected creatures are compelled to attack the feast golem using only a bite attack for 1d4 rounds. Creatures that normally do not possess a natural bite attack temporarily gain one while under the alluring aroma’s effect; this attack inflicts (1d3 + Strength modifier) damage for Medium creatures (1d2+Str for Small creatures) and does not provoke attacks of opportunity from the golem. Creatures may make a DC 19 Will save to resist the feast golem’s alluring aroma and act normally. Creatures who succeed at their saving throw are immune to this ability for 24 hours. This save is an enchantment (compulsion) effect and does not affect creatures that do not need to eat.
Amorphous Anatomy (Ex) Composed of many different dishes, the feast golem has no discernible anatomy. This grants it a 50% chance to ignore additional damage caused by critical hits and sneak attacks and grants it immunity to polymorph effects. A feast golem recovers from physical blindness or deafness in 1d4 rounds as it regrows new sensory organs.
Bountiful Corpse (Sp) Consuming the corpse of a feast golem grants the effect of a heroes’ feast, but those that partake are fatigued for 1 day.
Delicious (Ex) Feast golems take a -2 penalty on Escape Artist and combat maneuver checks made to escape a grapple against any creature that has a bite attack with the grab ability.
Immune to Magic (Ex) A feast golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below. A feast golem's spell-like abilities cannot be used to affect itself or other feast golems.
- Create food and water instantly heals the golem for 3d6 hit points.
- Feast of ashes negates the feast golem’s alluring aroma and fast healing abilities for 24 hours.
- A heroes’ feast spell cast directly on the golem increases its size by one category, doubling its height and increasing its weight by a factor of 8 for one hour. The golem gains a +4 size bonus to its Strength, a -2 size penalty to its Dexterity, an extra 10 feet of movement speed, and increases its reach by 5 feet.
- Putrefy food and drink causes portions of the golem’s body to rot and fall away, inflicting 1d4 points of damage (no save).
Indestructible (Ex) A feast golem is nearly impossible to destroy. Even reduced below 0 hit points, its fast healing continues to restore hit points, though the golem is helpless unless above 0 hit points. It can only be destroyed if the golem’s heart is consumed: an ossified loaf of fruitcake, reeking of bad liquor and covered in various colorful molds. In order to successfully eat the golem’s heart, a creature must make a DC 17 Fortitude saving throw every round for 4 rounds—somewhat of a challenge due to its dryness (and the feast golem’s fast healing). Failing this saving throw indicates that the creature takes 1d4 points of Constitution damage. This ability is Charisma-based.
Slippery (Ex) Oozing butter, fat, and sticky syrup from every crevice in its misshapen form, the feast golem has a +8 bonus on all Escape Artist checks and to its CMD against grapples.
Unstoppable (Ex) The feast golem ignores penalties for difficult terrain, and its movement increases by 10 feet.
The unholy machinations of mad sorcerer-chefs or unstable goblin alchemists, feast golems are walking amalgams of food, drink, and flatware given horrible purpose by magic. Stitched together from leftovers and hearty meals, no two feast golems look exactly the same. The same magic that animates their delectable flesh also maintains their various ingredients at appropriate temperatures, preserving both hot and cold dishes indefinitely. Affluent fey or magically-versed nobles may employ the creations, disguised as a sumptuous meal to deter would-be assassins at the dinner table, but just as often their creation is an accident wrought from the overeager joining of edibles and enchantment. The precise origins of the feast golem remain a mystery, and its means of destruction not for the faint of stomach.
From all of us, to all of you: Have a Joyous Crystalhue!
Liz Courts & Crystal Frasier
Department of Holiday-Themed Awesomeness
