Notices found on a Job Board at a College of the Arcane Arts

[EldonGuyre]

I was just thinking of populating one, along with my job board at the local seaman's tavern, and figured it could be fun to see what others might come up with.

#1

Looking for Escort Guards for Scholarly Expedition

Will need to escort scholar and a handful of students to the town of Donoblue's Thicket and the Thicket Ruins. Round trip should take under two weeks, including three to four days at the ruins. Paying 500gp +hazard pay, if any. Will need own basic gear, meals provided.

See Dean Akhen of Arcane Studies

[Senko]

#2
Needed scribe fluent in Atzlanti and Draconic for copy/translate work of backlog of scrolls found in ruins near the recovered worldwound. Free room, board and basic magic lessons.

[Meirril]

Studies not going well? Need guidance for matters personal or professional? Looking for obscure knowledge that eludes you? Private and discrete tutoring offered. Prices negotiable, willing to take payment in installments or long term loans. Nothing is beyond my ability!

Contact Information: On a moonless night inscribe Ekbart's Array on a level surface (minimum 4' circumference), place an offering of red wine (glass or bowl), a pillow (silk or down, no straw), and a rose (fresh or pressed) in the array. Call the name Kah-SAN-dra (may whisper) 20 times while pricking the left thumb with a pin, once per utterance, between the hours of witching and fools.

References upon request. Long or short term contracts offered.

[LordKailas]

Lost
<picture>
Pet bookworm responds to the name Bookmeister
100gp Reward

If found, please contact Knarp in the library. Bookmeister will recognize me.

[avr]

#5: Models required to exhibit spell effects before a class. No experience or skills required. 1 gp per day, 100 gp death benefit to be held in escrow by the Dean's Office against accidents.

[Slim Jim]

#6: Friday night Harrow-draft has been canceled until further notice.

[Bjørn Røyrvik]

All students are expected to hold vigils for the seniors on the 4th of Yarthmont. Those who survive their finals in the school dungeons are entitled to a standing ovation.

Bidding for the unclaimed effects and corpses of failures will be at noon the following day.

[Ryze Kuja]

#8 Looking for Student volunteers for testing new and upcoming Transmutation spells!
Free Bagged Lunch and Juice Boxes supplied!
Students who are pregnant or have heart/respiratory problems need not apply.

[VoodistMonk]

NOTICE TO ALL STUDENTS AND FACULTY:

Please refrain from leaving your Arcane Mark in the lavatory!

Thank you for your understanding.

[LordKailas]

Familiar sitting services available!!!!!

Need peace and quiet to study?
Roommates keep complaining?
Or Just want a night out by yourself to go "adventuring"?

I am here to help.

1 silver per hour
6 silver for 8 hours
1 gold for a day
5 gold for a week
(rates may vary based on the needs of your familiar)

Housing and meals are included with all plans. Dragons, Demons, and Devils require an extra 100gp deposit, with the owner responsible for any damages or extra expenses incurred by the familiar during its stay. No Dragons or outsiders of any sort (except inevitables) allowed.

Contact Mistress Debenestra in the administration department for details, space is limited.

[J. A.]

Research assistant required for site-based survey of funerary practices in Third Dynasty tombs and burial mounds. Must be able to travel long distances on foot through difficult terrain while carrying field gear. Must be able to work diligently under adverse conditions, including intense heat, dust storms, and occasional irruptions of corporeal undead. Must be able to withstand biting insects, fatigue, hunger, and life-draining effects of malevolent spirits. This is a voluntary training position that will provide valuable work experience, and requires a fee of 1200 gp paid in advance.

[strayshift]

Students! Discretion a must? We can abjure your mistakes. Prestidigitation a speciality. Simply enter the summoning circle on the 7th level and cry 'Discretion!' five times.

Do you have what it takes to live on the Elemental Plane of Earth? Contact the dean of planar travel for more information.

Sick of pesky adventurers? Family demands? Want someone to do your day job? What you need is a CLONE! Simulacrums R Us!

Bards, want to even the score with other arcane casters? Enchantment Master is a must! Make that mage your slave! Just go to the west tower and ask for Lady Catheshal...

[Senko]

#13
Did you ever want your familiar to be more? To be a being worthy of your splendour?

We are curently conducting experiments aiming to permanently transform a humble familiar into a mythic being in its own right. If you don't understand the difference between a mythic being and a mythic pet please don't waste our time.

Required
A fully bonded familiar and mage willing to further the cause of scientific thaumaturgic research.

Apply within the statue on the accademy grounds between midnight and 3am on the next blue moon.

Rate of pay
10 gold per experiment, 100 if we kill your familiar, 150 if we kill you paid to the familiar if it survives or your nominated beneficiary if neither of you does.

Side effects may include
1) Triplication of your familiar.
2) Transformation of your familiar into a figment of your imagination.
3) Transformation of you into a figment of your familiar's imagination.
4) Massive increase in your familiars intelligence.
5) Reversal of the familiar bond making it the master and you the familiar.

#14
Needed experienced psychics for crystal ball counseling network. 12 silver per hour, 8 hour shifts, 5 day's per week, 1.5 months paid vacation time per year.

If interested contact our resources director. You know where, when and how.

[Watery Soup]

Wand of cure light wounds for sale. At least 10 charges remaining. 350 gp obo

[Meirril]

Position open for the immediate hire of a 'Handyman'. Duties of the position include: maintenance and cleaning of facilities, minor repairs to facilities and equipment, grounds keeping, inventory and handling exotic materials in storage, and extermination of pests and harmful fauna and foliage.

Knowledge of various molds, slimes, insects and vermin are a must. Familiarity with the habits of fae, demons, daemons, devils, and other extra-planar vermin a plus. Must be an expert in the field of repelling goblin, mite and gremlins. Applicant will be expected to provide his own tools.

The position is provided with board and accommodations on site. Salary of two gold coins per month, with the possibility of an immediate raise considering employment history. References required. Generous benefits and pension offered.

Apply in person to the Bursars office.

[Lathiira]

Artist wanted!

Looking for someone with artistic talent, preferably drawing but painting will do. Talents needed to illustrate new bestiary. Strong stomach, stout heart needed due to need for field work. Illustrations paid for as completed. Food, board, travel expenses, and art supplies paid for plus stipend. To apply see the Dean of Natural Sciences.

[Cornebre]

NOTICE TO ALL STUDENTS AND FACULTY:
A local demon binder lost one of his succubus.
She look like your perfect mate and may try to suck your soul if not careful. If you find her, please refrain from trying to grab her (that may or may not end badly), and immediately contact the nearest member of the authority.

.

Willing to do the impossible to discover the rules of the universe?
Apply to a position of Wizard-Scientist at The Wizard of the Beach Corporation!

[Mudfoot]

For sale: Alchemical reagents and equipment. 52 containers of unidentified compounds, 8 pieces of glassware, 28 other objects, 3 books.
50 gp for the lot.
WARNING Some of this is evidently very poisonous. Buyer is responsible for its removal from the premises, at own risk.

Mrs E Mudley, Riverside Guest House.

. . . . .

ROOM FOR RENT 4gp per day, half board.

Mrs E Mudley, Riverside Guest House.

[Set]

Wanted; intact corpses or skeletons of a variety of animals of diverse sizes and types for purposes of animation for research. No intelligent creatures, please! Contact Radfirth, Journeyman Assistant to the Dean of Necromantic Studies.

Looking for students in need of extra coin to secure shards of damaged or discarded armor or shields for use in abjuration research assignments. Get them from the town dump, or from the rusty relics in the family armory, but we need at least fifty (50) suitable fragments in time for mid-term examinations. Speak to Jannisarius at the Redoubt.

Admire the iron mastery of magical forces of the legendary Runelords? Allow me to use the secret lore of my Varisian ancestors to inscribe their runes of power on your skin, in the form of tattoos that will help you channel internal energies that can prove willful and contrary by nature, so that you, like these ancient masters, can ascend to your true potential! I am Petro, and the teachings of my family helped me to master my own inner magic, let me pass this on to you! Your first task will be to find me.

[Set]

Mudfoot wrote:

For sale: Alchemical reagents and equipment. 52 containers of unidentified compounds, 8 pieces of glassware, 28 other objects, 3 books.

50 gp for the lot.
WARNING Some of this is evidently very poisonous. Buyer is responsible for its removal from the premises, at own risk.

Mrs E Mudley, Riverside Guest House.

. . . . .

ROOM FOR RENT 4gp per day, half board.

Mrs E Mudley, Riverside Guest House.

I love that this one is practically an adventure seed, and implies a story. 'Evidently poisonous' (a dead person was found in this makeshift laboratory?), room for rent (and since he's dead, I now have to rent this room out to someone else, but first I have to get rid of all this alchemical junk he left behind...).

Watery Soup wrote:

Wand of cure light wounds for sale. At least 10 charges remaining. 350 gp obo

Cool that the seller isn't exactly sure how many charges remain in the wand. "I don't know. It had fourteen charges, but then I went unconscious and when I woke up my idiot friend had used it on himself, and then me, and he was like, 'uh, two times, maybe three? I think?'"

[Cevah]

#25 Wanted: vic test subjects for spell testing. We pay for good referrals.

#26 Found: Imp with a nametag on a collar, but the the tag has been bitten. All that's left is "If Found, return to: The Great and Powerful Wiz". Unfortunately, the Imp cannot recall the name.

#27 Druid looking for wrestling partner. No demons need apply, especially succubuses.

/cevah

[Lathiira]

#28: Looking for a few good men and women with keen eyes to find crystals in the hills. Any mineral is good, clearer the better. For use in apprentice classes so value of mineral irrelevant. Will pay by the pound. Contact Dean of Admissions with collection. Nonmagical only.

#29. The Dean of Enchantment wants to send an ambassador to a new school in a joint team with the Conjuration Dean. Students should be young, lean, attractive, well-mannered, and observant. Note that the escaped succubus came from that school.

[Senko]

#30. The Dean Conjuration of wants to send an ambassador to a new school in a joint team with the Enchantment Dean. Students should be devout, strong of will, abstinant, well-mannered, and observant. Note that the escaped succubus came from that school.

[Cevah]

#31 Succubus researcher looking for assistants. Priority given to young, lean, attractive, and well-mannered students of Enchantment and devout, strong willed, abstinent, and well-mannered students of Conjuration. Leave contact info on the board.

/cevah

[EldonGuyre]

I'm sensing a theme, here...

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Cevah wrote:

Priority given to young, lean, attractive, and well-mannered students of Enchantment and devout, strong willed, abstinent, and well-mannered students of Conjuration. Leave contact info on the board.

P.S. Knowledge and use of basic hygiene an absolute must.

[Cevah]

#32 Study partners wanted in the following course: Binding Demons.

#33 Research assistant position open for Professor of Transmutation. Previous assistant deserted, leaving a large boulder in the office.

/cevah

[Mudfoot]

NOTICE TO STUDENTS: Evocation is EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN in dormitories.
- The Dean

[Mudfoot]

NOTICE TO STUDENTS: Conjuration is EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN in dormitories.
- The Dean

[avr]

#36 Party on the lake! Emrys Tarvadegh is inviting 100+ people to his name-day fete. Experienced bar and wait staff wanted, swimming and/or water breathing skills a plus. 50 gp plus tips for the night.

#37 Keep the peace! Student celebrations have got out of hand. The Hosneen residents association is supporting a team to break up unruly gatherings. Pay TBD depending on the number of volunteers.

[Senko]

#36
Notice to female students the duvination voyeur has been caught, transformed into a little girl and is currently learning about the female body by having one. We look forward to her re-enrollmemt when she's old enough.

Additional wards will be placed on the female dorms and bathing area next tuesday.

[Meirril]

#39

Lost Pet! Family Heirloom! 1,000 gold reward!
Recently lost track of family pet that has been passed down through the generations. 'Shelby' is a tortes, approximately 4" long. Harmless! Possibly undead, difficult to tell. Reputed to be green, but can not confirm due to permanent invisibility. Also warded against scrying and detection. Can only be located by touch. Fortunately very inactive, only occasionally moving of its own accord. Has been rumored to be capable of casting minor spells, like fly. Known to consume grass, lettuce and cucumbers. Fond of bath houses and other hot and damp locations.

Last known location: Dormitory Men's Bath.

If found contact Gary G. Greyhawk at the Men's Dormitory.

[Set]

#40 Announcement: Mid-terms are scheduled for Divinations and Portents. Divine where. Divine when. If you miss the test, you fail my class. - Professor Foren.

#41 14th annual Divination Hide and Seek Challenge seeking individuals to play the role of quarry. Pay commensurate with your unique identifying attributes and experience at stealth and subterfuge! This year will have enhanced security measures so that last years tragedy will not be repeated!

[Jhaosmire]

#42: Secrets to Lichdom! Free seminar this weekend. Learn why you want to transcend the mortal existence, advantages to a solid-state organ system, systems and patterns to prevent unnecessary sacred interruptions, and more. Brought to you by the Revitalization Management Institution.

#43: Please help me, I've been lost in this crazy fantasy world for days. I was attending college in Riverside when I found a book filled with weird symbols. My school disappeared and I was suddenly in a pig-pen. My family must be worried, my phone bill is super late, and nobody knows to feed my cat Baxter. If you can help call [phone]... or go to Gareth's Farms east of the college, I'm there shovelling pig muck...

[Jhaosmire]

#44: (A poorly scrawled note, barely legible, lying on the ground beneath the notice board)
Need...reverse...polymor...
(crushed against the paper is a smashed newt)

[Ecoris]

#45 Need part time workers to distribute seasonal flyers and menus for Chez Miss Shelyn theatre, restaurant and tavern. Work as little as one day every 3 months!

When asked, the owner wants those menus and flyers in the hands of every noble, guild master, business owner, crime boss, war lord that can be reached ... anyone with money or power!

The theatre is real and is professionally run by a bard. The food and drink are very good, and does rotate the menu every 3 months.

The trick? The owner has put an image of his face on every menu and flyer. He is a spymaster that casts Ears of the City to learn who is interesting for the day, and then casts Enter Image to keep tabs on those interesting people.

[Lathiira]

46. Need volunteers to procure ink ingredients from the wild. Specifically, we need blackberries, charcoal, and black snails. Black snails are specific to deep forest, no more than one inch long, and black. Will pay for each ingredient by the pound. Please hurry, finals in Scroll Creation are coming.

47. Sitter needed to take care of my little pet Ceevee while I'm recovering from my current illness. She's adorable, frisky, friendly, and likes to curl up on your lap. I just need a few days to get over this drained feeling....

48. Looking for assistants to help prep for Conjuration exam. Need four volunteers who can hold a chant and handle bad smells (we're working in the basement).

49. Looking to hire a bard for graduation party. Finder's fee based on bard's skill plus free food and drink. Bring a friend!

50. If you need some hand to hand combat lessons to pass the entry exam for Magus class or just want to spar for some exercise contact visiting professor Eris Lightsword at his quarters. Fees reasonable and based on client's ability to pay. Advanced lessons for eldritch knight also available for students grounded in the fundamentals.

51. Tutoring for history, music, and fundamental magical studies available. Please see the visiting professor in the courtyard after midnight. And wait till her ritual is over, she prays for an hour.

[Lathiira]

52. Looking for brave and strong-willed volunteers with keen observation skills. Divination and abjuration magics a plus. Convening a team to track down the succubi on campus and whoever's summoning them. Please contact the Dean of Abjuration immediately through his new assistant, Mistress Nocti.

53. Got time on your hands? Good with details and organization? Come visit the library! We're prepping for annual inventory and need help getting the place in order. Talk to Chief Librarian Reiko at the Arcane Collections desk. One spell scroll per helper payable upon completion of preparations from the college archives.

54. Librarian Dalian is now accepting all copies of spells, rituals, and incantations regarding succubus summoning. No questions asked. Spell scrolls will be awarded for compensation if materials turned in are actual summoning spells.

55. Wanting to blow off some steam? Do some damage? Gardening crew needs to replant the back gardens. Bring your best blasting spells, everything has to go (including the back wall, we're expanding the garden). Pay based on number of cubic yards of foliage destroyed, bonus for back wall (it's stone).

56. We need someone good with illusions to provide entertainment at a noble's party. Apply but not as yourself in person with the Dean of Illusions (if you can find him or her).

57. If you've got a green thumb, the Landscaping Master needs students to help with the tedious weeding and watering of the new back garden. Payment can include herbalism lessons, access to rare ingredients, even scholarship for the student willing to put in the hours. Talk with the Landscaping staff immediately.

58. We're looking for a new lab proctor for the apprentices. The previous proctor has disappeared without a trace...we think, we're still not sure what that stain in the apprentice alchemy lab is. Journeymen only. Scholarship available for those alchemically-inclined, potions from the school's stock, alchemy and brewing lessons too. Poison and acid resistance a plus. Talk to the maintenance staff if you seek further information.

[Senko]

#59

Looking for adventure minded students to help the professor of cruel and unusual geography to reclaim their office from a particularly powerful strata. Successful reclamation will count as 50% of semester's final grade for students of their class.

[J. A.]

#60

Notice from the Dean:

Effective immediately, professors may not offer students any percentage of course credit in exchange for assistance with activities not directly related to the completion of the students' degree plan.

[Cornebre]

#61 [A note that only non-magic users can see]

Still can't cast even the most basic prestidigitation tricks ? You really want to date that beautiful Wizard but you are a no good non-gifted person? Join the R.O.G.U.E ! We are a non profit organizations that will help you fool anyone thanks to a few wands and some pyrotechnics ! Want to cast a "fireball"? We got grenades ! Some bully try to make you miserable ? You will learn with us the "spell" "fistinyourguts" !
Want to be a member of R.O.G.U.E.? Just follow the white rabbits graffiti ;p

[Lathiira]

62. The local Fighter's Guild students are boasting they can drink us under the table. We're looking for a few mages with a strong constitution to prove them wrong. Meet up at the Sword and Spell tavern on Friday. Prepare your panacea spells accordingly. Only for those of non-sickly composition. Defend our school's pride!

[Cevah]

#63 Seeking casters for repair spells. The Evocation finals are scheduled, and the faster we can repair/replace the targets, the faster we can get thru finals.

#64 Wanted: Illusionists and summoners. The school of Divination is sponsoring a contest for its students, and we need creatures and illusions to test our students with. Bonu pay if your spells are consistently misread. If you summons is thought to be an illusion by most or if yoiu illusion is believed to be real by most, we pay extra.

#65 Announcement by the School of Divination:
Contest to be held next week to test your divination and observation skills. First prize is a masterwork Harrow Deck and Traveling Case.

/cevah

[Cornebre]

#66
The brand new wrestling club is looking for new members, come numerous! ;D

#67
Whoever thought that was a bright ideas to turn the nearby dragon into a little girl must immediately contact the authority to:
First: acquire his transmutation diploma Second: find a solution to the pissed off little girl with huge natural magical ability problem that don't know anything about transmutation, but A LOT about evocation.

[SilvercatMoonpaw]

Cornebre wrote:

#67

Whoever thought that was a bright ideas to turn the nearby dragon into a little girl must immediately contact the authority to:
First: acquire his transmutation diploma Second: find a solution to the pissed off little girl with huge natural magical ability problem that don't know anything about transmutation, but A LOT about evocation.

This is the set-up to a harem anime if I ever saw one.

[Mudfoot]

#68 It has come to my attention that someone defaced a library spellbook with an undesirable anatomical illustration. Rest assured, the offender will be identified, forced to clear up the results of the consequent magical mishap, and be summarily expelled thereafter.
- The Dean

[blahpers]

#69

For sale: awaken scroll. Never used.

[Set]

#70

For sale: awakened scroll. Kind of obnoxious. If you use the scroll, the awakened personality dies.

[Dragonborn3]

#71

Need help staying awake? Love a good hot cup of joe? Talk to Cathy "the Caffiend" Harles in the herbology depart about her newest creation: faeva bean coffee!

Do not consume if you have cold iron fillings or caps in your mouth.

[Senko]

SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:

Cornebre wrote:

#67

Whoever thought that was a bright ideas to turn the nearby dragon into a little girl must immediately contact the authority to:
First: acquire his transmutation diploma Second: find a solution to the pissed off little girl with huge natural magical ability problem that don't know anything about transmutation, but A LOT about evocation.

This is the set-up to a harem anime if I ever saw one.

First thought that popped into my head was this picture . . .

https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/146194_460s_v1.jpg

the little girl is actually pissed off because she can't find her daddy.