This is basically a companion to the other popular thread going on right now. But it's for the opposite: what spell would you NEVER choose for each level and why?
Same rules--real life, no wish/miracle, you can cast it 10-SL per day, CL 20.
Oh, and let's add one: you can only use one class' spell list. No mixing and matching the worst of wizard and cleric or druid and oracle!
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Spell list: Wizard/Sorcerer
0: Open/close (rationale: I can't be this lazy, can I?)
1: Infernal healing (rationale: the target can sense the evil, and I need a drop of devil's blood or unholy water, which is more trouble than it's worth)
2: Blood Transcription (rationale: I would have to kill someone AND drink a pint of human blood. Hard pass.)
3: Fly (rationale: Nothing gets you outed faster than flying. And that means getting kidnapped by the government or a corporation to do... unfortunate things... for the rest of your combat-effective life. I'll pass on any spell that ruins my life if I make one mistake.)
4: Animate Dead (rationale: I'm also not going to be dealing with corpses.)
5: Dominate Person (rationale: I don't want to start an enchantment flame war, but...)
6: Contagion, Greater (rationale: I don't think it's a good idea to start a pandemic of a disease in general, let alone something that the CDC can't cure because it requires magic.)
7: Insanity (rationale: This is just cruel. Spells to defend yourself, I get that. But this?)
8: Prediction of Failure (rationale: It's cruel and it does little to protect me from enemies with guns.)
9: Cursed Earth (rationale: I get to spend 10,000 gold to ... have three things that I never want to have happen?)
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Spell list Druid
0: Spark, their is nothing really horrible on the list, but this is easy enough to not need magical assistance.
1: Advanced Scurvy, making people sick is morally wrong.
2: Pox Pustules, same as the 1st level spell
3: Water of Maddening (I think this spell's name has been changed from Waters of Lamashtu) it's pretty nasty stuff, physically and mentally.
4: Explosion of Rot, very nasty imagery indeed
5: Contagion Greater, now magic is required to cure the disease.
6: Epidemic, sickness is the theme here
7: Creeping Doom, kind of gross and unlike control weather it doesn't have many good applications.
8: Blood mist, make people go crazy and attack each other
9: Sea of Dust, makes permanent deserts
Witch list. People wouldn’t want to get near you, and you have to be close to get use of them.
0. Putrefy Food & Drink
1. Frostbite
2. Skinsend
3. Eruptive Pustules
4. Sleepwalk
5. Suffocation
6. Swarm Skin
7. Primal Regression
8. Prediction of Failure
9. Cursed Earth
Sorcs & Wiz's. Some difference to roguerouge's list above.
0: Bleed. Because why would you bother?
1: Open and Shut. The most pointless illusion ever.
2: Skinsend. I have to agree that there's a better place for my skin, and that's attached to me.
3: Aristocrat's/Kalistocrat's Nightmare. I don't even know any goldbugs, let alone want to make one of them furious without impeding their ability to get even on me.
4: Earsend. See skinsend.
5: Contact Other Plane. How to lose your mind gaining unreliable information. It might be worth it to get someone else to cast it... but not myself.
6: Dust Ward. Even the idea of destroying any magic items of mine bothers me.
7: Create Variant Mummy. Create a psychotic undead with disease powers - that's at least two no's.
8: Supreme Cursed Terrain. Have a whole lot of things that I don't want to have happen, happen.
9: Cursed Earth. I don't want this to happen either.
No one's picked up the Cleric list? Here goes.
0: Bleed. Because why would you bother?
1: Poisoned Egg. I'm not going to be stabbing anyone, and I'm certainly not going to first dip the blade in an egg.
2: Ancestral Regression. I'm not a drow. If I get Pathfinder RPG powers I'm not going to be helping one hide either.
3: Waters of Maddening. I don't feel the need to slowly transform people into insane monsters.
4: Unholy Blight. If my enemies are good and my allies are evil there's something wrong and I want to get out of there rather than fight.
5: Greater Contagion. Creating an incurable Patient Zero sounds like a bad idea. Decollate nearly won for the WTF? value though.
6: Dust Ward. Even the idea of destroying any magic items of mine bothers me.
7: Create Variant Mummy. Create a psychotic undead with disease powers - that's at least two no's.
8: Supreme Cursed Terrain. Have a whole lot of things that I don't want to have happen, happen.
9: Cursed Earth. I don't want this to happen either.
Talk to Plants
PLANTS ARE SENTIENT?!!?!?
I was thinking Kalistocrat's Nightmare might actually be useful for detoxifying toxic and/or otherwise hazardous metals . . . but then I realized that if one could do this, somebody could eventually cast Remove Curse and undo the change. If Kalistocrat's Nightmare had been done on weapons grade uranium and/or plutonium and then somebody who didn't know the history of a particular pile of copper cast Remove Curse on a sufficiently large pile . . . .
* * * * * * * *
And unfortunately another 2 spells I have to say No to are also both 3rd level: Stinking Cloud and Nauseating Trail. Because I don't need magic to do that . . . .
More than that someone has to touch the plutonium. Getting irradiated up to the very moment they do so, and radiation can get pretty intense a centimetre or less from the source. If it's distributed as grains in a pile of sand, or fuel rods, or anything other than coins it wouldn't work at all. It's a very specific spell.
RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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I immediately went to spells that just wouldn't do anything:
0: Detect Magic - nothing to detect
1: Magic Aura - who are you fooling?
2: Obscure Object - who is going to be scrying?
3: Dispel Magic - nothing to dispel
4: Dimensional Anchor - no one else can teleport
5: Break Enchantment - not many of these effects IRL
6: Greater Dispel Magic
7: Control Undead - for making all those nonexistent undead my slaves
8: Protection from Spells - no other spellcasters
9: Mage's Disjunction
I immediately went to spells that just wouldn't do anything:
0: Detect Magic - nothing to detect
1: Magic Aura - who are you fooling?
2: Obscure Object - who is going to be scrying?
3: Dispel Magic - nothing to dispel
4: Dimensional Anchor - no one else can teleport
5: Break Enchantment - not many of these effects IRL
6: Greater Dispel Magic
7: Control Undead - for making all those nonexistent undead my slaves
8: Protection from Spells - no other spellcasters
9: Mage's Disjunction
This is what I would have picked as well.
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I can actually see a use for Dispel Magic- getting rid of your own non-dismissable spells if you mess up. Far from a top choice, but not quite as useless as other stuff.
Anything icky or evil, even if it doesn't have the Evil or Pain descriptor. I'm ericthecleric, not erictheevilcleric! ;)
I was literally about to use the same verbiage for the same reason. “Icky”
Loads of icky things are vastly important to global well-being. Most of medical science, for instance.Anything icky or evil, even if it doesn't have the Evil or Pain descriptor. I'm ericthecleric, not erictheevilcleric! ;)I was literally about to use the same verbiage for the same reason. “Icky”
and many aren't. My "icky" was specifically in regarding undead and generally evil spells.
1 Blood Money - This would hurt a lot
2 Skinsend - This would hurt even more
3 Ki Leech - I don't have a magical Ki Pool
4 Familiar Melding - I don't have a familiar either
5 Die for your Master - and even if I had one, I would not sacrifice it
6 Decapitate - witnessing a critical hit is rare enough, turning it into a decapitation on sight would be savage
7 Teleport Trap - as if anyome would teleport into me
8 Supreme Curse Terrain - Sending a couple of unnatural hazards over a 5-mile radius is dickish
9 Soul Bind - Who would ressurrect my enemies? Jesus?
^Soul Bind: If it actually worked, it would be a step ahead of cryonic preservation.
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Hunter list:
0-Sign of the Dawnflower: I don't know anyone who worships Sarenrae and I don't like her either.
1-Carrion Compass: When will I ever encounter undead?
2-Venomous Bite: Not much is poisonous near me and I don't think Tide pods work as a material component for this spell.
3-Mad Monkeys: I don't like monkeys.
4-Irradiate: Radiation is bad, m'kay?
5-Hallow: Not my shtick.
6-Epidemic: A bad idea.
I don’t have a full list, but I do have a single spell I’d never use.
Fireball: in way too many games I’ve played I had miscalculated the blast radius of the fireball and got myself caught in the blast. I’d rather not accidentally kill myself (to say nothing of collateral damage)
Just don't hit anything within 20 feet of you. What's so hard about that?
If you can toss a grenade without blowing yourself up, you shouldn't have any trouble with a fireball.
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Blowing myself up with a bad grenade throw absolutely sounds like something I would do in real life.
Blowing myself up with a bad grenade throw absolutely sounds like something I would do in real life.
Just need more practice.
Personally; these days I would probably throw my back out if I threw a grenade properly.
I don’t have a full list, but I do have a single spell I’d never use.
Fireball: in way too many games I’ve played I had miscalculated the blast radius of the fireball and got myself caught in the blast. I’d rather not accidentally kill myself (to say nothing of collateral damage)
In 1st Edition AD&D (not sure about 2nd Edition, but I think it was the same), unlike D&D 3.x/PF, a Fireball would try to fill a volume, and would conform to any space with rigid walls that it couldn't burn through in its brief existence, with the radius extending in unconfined directions as needed to make up the volume. This meant that in a narrow passage, the minimum safe range was MUCH longer than in an open area. Likewise, in 1st Edition, Lightning Bolts could be dangerous if they hit a barrier that they could not penetrate: They would rebound -- back at the caster if the barrier was perpendicular.
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Witch List:
0—Bleed; it's rude to make people start dying again!
1—Grasping Corpse; Ew. No.
2—Vomit Swarm; Ew. No.
3—Eruptive Pustiles; Gross.
4—Sadomasochism; That's just painful.
5—Cloudkill; No one should have that kind of power.
6—Alleviate Corruption; You're on your own here, mate.
7—Verminous Transformation; Ew.
8—Symbol of Death; That's... really dangerous to other people.
9—Scribe's Binding; That seems... really cruel and intrusive, even if they're in suspended animation for the entire time.
Atonement.
Cause if I can cast spells in real life......
Cuz real life magic means.. never having to say you're sorry...
Why all the hate for Cursed Earth? ...It's only a mile radius.
-- *Perfect* for Capitol Hill.
The problem is that if you hit Capitol Hill, you also hit all the Smithsonian Museums. And while it would be somewhat ironic to curse the ground of the Museum of Native American History, it still makes you the bad guy.
Now maybe if you angle it very carefully...
I'm a wizard; I can move it.
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I'm going to stick with the Core lists since there are far too many options available elsewhere and I don't feel like going down that rabbit hole right now. I'm operating under the assumption that as far as I understand, I am the only spellcaster on the planet, but I also have no proof that I'm not.
Sorc/Wizard:
0-Open/Close; I refuse to be this lazy, and I intend to use magic to prolong my life and youth anyway.
1-Enlarge Person; Way too blatant, hard to explain away and I have no reason to become really big and slow for a few minutes just to hit people harder.
2-Magic Mouth; 10gp worth of jade for a one shot messaging service? Not just lame, but expensive and more easily done with a motion sensor and audio recorder.
3-Rage; I don't participate in group sports and have no desire to make a riot even more vicious.
4-Contagion; For all the reasons previously stated by others.
5-Dominate Person; This one is mental rape, plain and simple. I've never taken it in any form of any RPG.
6-Create Undead; Uncontrolled, exotic undead horrors do not seem like something I want to unleash on the world when I'm (as far as I know) the only one who can do something about them.
7-Insanity; This one is just cruel.
8-Symbol of Insanity; Also cruel but on a mass scale. Crate Greater Undead was a close second.
9-Dominate Monster; Much like Dominate, I'm just morally opposed to spells like this.