Snark Powers activate

[Eric Morton]

Rei wrote:

This item is awesome. Or it would be. But then you tacked on that last bit and it suddenly became the most broken thing I can recall ever seeing.

I've seen some under-priced items and some items that really need some per-day limits, but I haven't encountered anything in this year's competition remotely close to the most broken thing I've ever seen.

Then again, I've brought a GM to the brink of tears while playing a mid-level wizard and I've used the rules for bardic masterpieces to solo the entire mass combat section of the Kingmaker adventure path, so I have really high expectations when it comes to "the most broken thing" ever seen.

[Murderhobo Union Representative]

Belabras wrote:

Remember - magic items don't kill casters. Murderhobos do.

Barbarian Rage active:

What the flumph did you just flumphing say about me, you little munchkin? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my party in the Golarion Union of Murderhoboes for the Betterment of Others, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Aspis Consortium, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in dimensional warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire Absalom armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another bit of XP. I will wipe you the flumph out with Precise Shots the likes of which has never been seen before on Golarion, mark my flumphing words of power. You think you can get away with talking that smack to me via Sending? Think again, flumpher. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Varisian continent and we're casting locate person so you better prepare for the storm, kobold. The storm of vengeance that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re flumphing dead, munchkin. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can scry&fry you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Pathfinder Society and Sacred Vault of Abadar and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable build off the face of your character sheet, you little munchkin. If only you could have known what unholy blight your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your flumphing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you fallen paladin. I will Aqueous Orb all over you and you will drown in it. You’re flumphing dead, munchkin.

Sincerely yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

[frank gori]

Murderhobo Union Representative wrote:

Belabras wrote:

Remember - magic items don't kill casters. Murderhobos do.

** spoiler omitted **

Sincerely yours,
~Jaspar "Shank Him Louis" Kahrdboordebachs~
your local GUMBO representative

Murderhobo Solidarity. I stand with my murderhobo brothers and sisters.

[DmRrostarr]

WTH? An item that can hose your own party members.....pure awesome.

[Omnitricks]

I like your theme and all but I prefer if my magic items I spend gold on actually do something special and not just boring old static increments.

Magic is rulebreaker. Abuse your powaaaaaaa and make them magic items!

[JJ Jordan]

Bonus points to joke items that are mechanically sound. Some are well written and funny but can't actually be used in the game.

[Jarrett Sigler]

Huh... there are a few items still lingering that I'm very confused by. I had a good laugh, but seriously...

How did you manage to stay in here that long.

[Wren Brown]

several items make me think people just watched Matrix Reloaded on DVD/streaming! :)

[Thaago]

Two wrist slot items that both cheat the SAME piece of action economy, both for dirt cheap.

Things that take a move action exist for a reason >_<

[pH unbalanced]

Fish teeth vs Fish skin

[frank gori]

2 items I really like a lot, awesomely flavored weapon you lost because you just couldn't restrain yourself from that last extra power (advice I wish I could yell at myself last year.)

[Robert Guthrie]

Gross item vs. unbelievably broken item.

Gross item is well written, I guess. Up you go.

[Brigg]

At the rate I've been voting, I'm not sure if I'll hit Marathon this time around...

Also two items I don't like pit up against each other x.x

[Aaron Miller 335]

NO! NO I will not eat that. but i will vote for you.

[pH unbalanced]

These two items go together as perfectly as Kukla, Fran, and Ollie.

[Aaron Miller 335]

swarm vs swarm, I will have to think about this vote

[Aaron Miller 335]

DO to the lack of RPGSS snaking I will snark about something else.

To the driver in front of me, when going up a long hill and the truck infront of you pulls over in to the slow traffic lane you have TWO options, A pass the truck, B pull in behind truck in slow lane. No option C!

[Bahbrahb]

Crap, two of my favorite items up against each other. Why couldn't one of the stinkers from the last 15 votes I cast be against either of you?

[pH unbalanced]

Dang, what an amazing, awe-inspiring item. Too bad it's essentially an artifact.

[Lucky Pips]

Jason Dandy wrote:

Lucky Pips wrote:

Jason Dandy wrote:

Lucky Pips wrote:

You should never say how or where your item can be found. That is tying the GM's hands, and removing it as an option for random loot unless the GM shoehorns something that might not make sense into their story. Also, it definitely doesn't make sense if the item was bought from a vendor or created by a PC. It has all the downsides of an item backstory, with the addition of forcing that back story to cross paths with the PCs. Avoid this like the plague. We are making tools and goodies for the GM to use to tell their story, not forcing them to tell ours.

If it says where or how an item is FOUND, that's not the same as saying what circumstances would exist if the item were instead CREATED...

While that's true, that means that a line in the items description is meaningless if the item was CREATED or BOUGHT, which is just a bad use of precious words for the item, and if it is FOUND the GM either has to adapt the story to the items story or invalidate that line in the items write up. All of these options are bad. While it could create an interesting hook for a GM, so can any item with compelling uses. Items should be used as tools by the GM to tell their story, not a script of a story created by the designer.

Another issues with saying how a weapon is found: Random loot tables.

i wish round was was over so we could talk candidly, as i think it would be an interesting and fruitful discussion. :)

I would love that. Feel free to PM me also with anything also.

[Jeff Lee]

I'm noting certain trigger words. Rather than causing me distress, they instead send me spiraling into a reverie about pop culture references and it takes time and effort to recover and get back on topic. For example, there are items out there that keep making me think of this guy.

[Eric Morton]

Jeff Lee wrote:

I'm noting certain trigger words. Rather than causing me distress, they instead send me spiraling into a reverie about pop culture references and it takes time and effort to recover and get back on topic. For example, there are items out there that keep making me think of this guy.

NA-NA. NA. NA. NA. THUNDER!

[Bahbrahb]

Speaking of, many items also remind me of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwn8l_AEAe4

[JamesCooke]

Bahbrahb wrote:

Speaking of, many items also remind me of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwn8l_AEAe4

And that, friends, is why you don't wear full plate while casting spells

[Dieben]

Jeff Lee wrote:

I'm noting certain trigger words. Rather than causing me distress, they instead send me spiraling into a reverie about pop culture references and it takes time and effort to recover and get back on topic. For example, there are items out there that keep making me think of this guy.

This show, I must watch this.

[Lucky Pips]

Item, you are my favorite. Your imagery is straight up cartoon villains from my childhood, you drip mojo, you use a completely unique mundane item as your basis, you are one of the few magic items I would alter my character art to show, heck I want to repaint my mini to show you, I will even get a mundane version of you before I can afford you so my teammates wont even notice the difference...

However, you made up a new aura strength, you incorrectly filled in your slot info, and your price appears too cheap (by about half). Basically your header is a mess (besides name, which I also love) and the body is Superstar quality. Because of this, I find myself voting against you half the time to decent items that nail the CL, Aura and Price. I hope you pull through, but I'm not really helping you towards that goal as much as I would like. Work on your headers, and hand them to your friendly local rules lawyer to pick them apart before your next submission (we work for very reasonable retainers). Best of luck.

[Mike Franke]

pH unbalanced wrote:

These two items go together as perfectly as Kukla, Fran, and Ollie.

I am missing this reference but when I see "Kukla" I hear Ookla in my head and that make me think of Thundar! Ookla Ride!!!

[Mike Franke]

Lots of noisy items. I'm imagining a group that is sounding like a dump-truck dumping a load of symbols going through a dungeon.

[Jeff Lee]

Dieben wrote:

Jeff Lee wrote:

I'm noting certain trigger words. Rather than causing me distress, they instead send me spiraling into a reverie about pop culture references and it takes time and effort to recover and get back on topic. For example, there are items out there that keep making me think of this guy.

This show, I must watch this.

The Venture Bros.? Yes, I highly recommend it.

[Trekkie90909]

Gah! I thought they'd culled these items. I got you on day 1, begone vile fiends; I banish you into the darkest nether regions of the next cull!

[The Raven Black]

2 underwhelming items. I will go with the less niche one :-(

[The Raven Black]

Animal vs animal. I feel like am judging a Saint Seiya contest ;-)

[The Raven Black]

2 nice items. But one was better and well-formatted too :-) In fact I am Keeping it

[The Raven Black]

Sorry, you are the second item I see in a row granting the abilities of sea animals, but the first one was honestly better. In fact, I am now upvoting the well-written but regrettably utilitarian item next to you :-/

[Mikko Kallio]

I have a weird feeling that this item just whispered something to me! I have no other way to explain why I suddenly learned something about a particular type of characters!

[Mikko Kallio]

Weight hyphen vs Weight hyphen

(Em dashes are so difficult.)

[Mikko Kallio]

So, if creatures of X type encounter these items, they suddenly abandon reason? Is that a mind-affecting compulsion or just meaningless flavor text?

(Don't rewrite monster canon in an item's description!)

[OhGodTheRats]

I had no idea I could be disappointed by an item not incorporating a "Doom Anus/Multifunctional Sex Hole/Urethra" until I saw your item's name that had nothing to do with your item.

I am not proud. Because I like the item. I just....your name is a gross, gross tease.

[Wolin]

Weapon with extradimensional storage space vs weapon with extradimensional storage space

They're obviously doing it the right way, because they're very similar.

[Wolin]

And then, another extradimensional storage item against one of the last ones, and they're sort of similar again. I'm sort of impressed with consistency.

[Dana Huber]

Oh, that's wonderfully evil and I'm probably stealing it for a campaign. It's getting my vote... but I do wish you hadn't included the specific background and dreaded 'valued by' phrase, for I think that will hurt you overall in voting.

[Dana Huber]

Ahh.... yeah, you should probably have checked last year's Top 32 before submitting that.

[Dr. Ms. Frankenslaad]

OhGodTheRats wrote:

I had no idea I could be disappointed by an item not incorporating a "Doom Anus/Multifunctional Sex Hole/Urethra" until I saw your item's name that had nothing to do with your item.

I am not proud. Because I like the item. I just....your name is a gross, gross tease.

Minions, halt everything! We must begin at once on my latest creation, chatty chaps of the carrey-bonnacon! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[The Raven Black]

Gross name and woefully underpriced considering its potential applications but right on the theme with well-thought abilities. Keep it is.

[The Raven Black]

Item that makes you sickened vs item that makes you sickened. What a sickening sight

[The Raven Black]

This item started quite strongly (excellent visuals BTW) but the abilities feel too mismatched for this to be a keep. Good potential though. Upvoted

Also the other item is a nightmare to keep track of :-(

[The Raven Black]

Seeing one item I helped through workshopping. And upvoted, even though my advice was patently ignored :-P

The other item does something quite similar to one I kept. But it is far less elegant and concise, so no real difficulty choosing here. (Ie : no voting cabal, sorry guys)

[The Raven Black]

Backstory in the end is still backstory and makes me reconsider whether I should upvote this item. It is still a good item, if not superstar IMO. Upvoted

[The Raven Black]

Next time, make sure your words have precise meanings in the game. And respect them. Downvoted :-(

[The Raven Black]

Two moderately meh items. Upvoting the more inventive one.