Snark Powers activate


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

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The snark thread is traditional but lets be careful not to easily ID things or for that matter be too mean.

I'll start with Disco defeats sharper image..

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

5 votes in and my inner middle schooler gets appeased...

Shadow Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Oh my. I'd forgotten how pre-cull items were.

Shadow Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

What kind of leather?

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Wow really good item a couple weird choices but I already see a contender... v.s. a bizarre jokey item.

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

4 people marked this as a favorite.

This sounds like a great item!

*reads*

Oh, so awesome!

*Reads*

Me want!!

*Reads last paragraph*

That's not a skill in Pathfinder.....

Dedicated Voter Season 9

9 people marked this as a favorite.

I thought my item was terrible, but the more I read the better I feel my chances are. :P

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I've never seen this idea executed as well as you did. You found a way to make that idea balanced and neat and... you ruined it by charging WAY more then it would ever be worth... I'd think you tacked on an extra 0 but there's the half price and the commas in the right place. Sigh

Shadow Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mamaursula

6 people marked this as a favorite.

This thread is not for the neonates of the contest or people who may be upset by the random, off the cuff, sometimes harsh first thoughts of the readers. Please be very careful posting in this thread and do not call out any identifying marks of the items you are looking at, be kind to that designer and remember, someone's having crazy questions about your item somewhere, follow Wheaton's Law.

With that said, I have not missed alliteration one bit.

Shadow Lodge RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka DLandonCole

I just saw one item that I had to vote down, but it gave me a bloody good laugh.

Liberty's Edge

Someone loves THAT Drow far too much IMO ;-)

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

2 items that make nearly identical formatting mistakes and almost the same ill advised theme with almost the same number of words.

Who will win?

Pricing mistake or 1 extra formatting mistake

Formatting mistake for the win!


Third vote in: Craft "Wonderous" Item. =/

That said, my first few rounds haven't been terrible. Either the quality is up again from last year, or I'm getting lucky early on. Even found one really cool item in my second voting pair. Even if it's just a flavorful monster-in-a-can, it goes on the keeper list.


My snark level is over 9,000.


Good idea but needs more work on versus decent but unimaginative item.

Dedicated Voter Season 9

5 people marked this as a favorite.

As a neonate of this contest, I positively love this thread. I thought having your creative baby stabbed a few times by the peanut gallery was part of the fun of being a freelancer.
On Topic:

I'm not sure how you put a can inside another can that was inside a box that turned out to be a can, but well played.


Item that uses a third of its total word count for the physical description and background.

Then this item's descriptive line completely contradicts itself by using two antonyms to describe said item.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

Remember guys, if you think your item is being snarked about, it means it's being noticed!

There's a snark I so badly want to make, but I'm afraid it may be too specific to an item.

Shadow Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Also, remember that just because we snark about an item, doesn't mean we didn't like it or vote for it. Most of my snark goes to odd phrasing that makes me laugh, which often doesn't have anything to do with overall item quality.


First five or six pairs were decent items with various degree of imagination behind them. Now I hit the first joke item.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

I love this belt sooo much vs a purse I feel meh about.

RPG Superstar the TJ Max of magic items.


A novel way of saying "this item is favored by...". Approved.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

My God, it's full of puns!

Marathon Voter Season 9

First glance: Whoa, this item is really, really, neat, though the last line is a bit messy.

Second glance: ...hey, wait a second, you can't just say "up to #" and not explain why there's a range! That'd be like if I said, "I have about two eyes"!

This other item feels like it needs to be in the Technology Guide. It's still really cool, though. I have to be honest, Guilty Pleasure here: If I see a magic chainsaw, I'm gonna vote it up. I don't care if it's illegal. It's staying in the race. Okay, not really, but I'll really want it to.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

2 people marked this as a favorite.

That's going to ruin my shirt!

Sovereign Court Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Companion, Lost Omens, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I liked this item and it's abilities, but wow was it improbably underpriced.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Ixxix

2 people marked this as a favorite.

You want me to do what with my what?

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Neat item for a villain in particular... and you're going from my packrat folder to my keep folder...

Shadow Lodge RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka DLandonCole

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Marathon Voter Season 9

This is the stupidest most awesome item and if it wasn't so incomprehensible I would almost assuredly vote it up. The bad grammar doesn't help, either. Also, now that I think about it, it doesn't make a ton of sense. And it's really morbid.

But it's so awesome.


First gore-y item. Second blood-related. The other item had an advantage of not being messy.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Ixxix

thats a plot device...and you didnt tell me what that does

Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

10 people marked this as a favorite.

My vote won't change if I see the same pair again on opposite sides the next pairing.


And now two companion-creating items facing each other...

Marathon Voter Season 9

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Browman wrote:
My vote won't change if I see the same pair again on opposite sides the next pairing.

But would your vote change in a box?

Would it, could it, with a fox?


This is not a wondrous item; it's a plot device.

Also, would it kill people to hit the "preview" button before submitting? You'd think people would want to see their mistakes and correct them before entering.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Oh I got three blood items in a row, felt very death metal about it.

currently on deck pseudo cursed item vs pun/jokey item

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

Hmm... third item with just a description.

Liberty's Edge

Weapon of hitting many targets vs weapon of hitting many targets. And of course both are melee weapons.

Seeing mostly weapons for the moment.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka RainyDayNinja

My third pairing, and there's an item that feeds on the user's blood.

I mean, sure I can heal that damage, but cutting myself open still hurts!

Dedicated Voter Season 9

Magical top hat? Wouldn't fedora be more suited to Paizo's target demographic?

Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

The only thing unique about that weapon was the backstory...


First item that uses its own formatting... Yay. It wasn't the worst idea I have seen but the other item was better.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

wow that's near artifact pricing... for an item that's almost the same item same slot weighing in at about 8k...


Clay Clouser wrote:
You want me to do what with my what?

This made me chortle.

I´ve stumbled on some with really weird construction requirements.

Marathon Voter Season 9

Post got eaten earlier: Oh, I almost want to like this item. The premise is clever, but it feels like it cancels out an important aspect of the game, and it's terribly formatted. At least the opposition is really pretty neat so I don't feel too conflicted.

And now:

Oh my god. I've found my first item that I really, desperately want to like. The premise is awesome. But the wording is so awkward and it costs way too little. I can easily think of a perfect fix that would maintain its usefulness and...but no. I'll upvote it anyways, since I prefer it to the alternative, but this saddens me. It could have been a contender.

Meanwhile, I got my first "repeat item". This is terrifying, because it means that my own item has been voted on at least once. ಠoಠ

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Ixxix

That description was redundant and repetitive.

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Template errors are over 9000. >.>


1 person marked this as a favorite.
chaoseffect wrote:
Magical top hat? Wouldn't fedora be more suited to Paizo's target demographic?

If this is a hipster reference, then you're thinking of a Trilby, not a Fedora.


First ordinary-looking item.

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