Pathfinder Unchained and the Terrible, Awful, Real Bad Bloat


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Well, Unchained is coming out in a little over 2 weeks, so in preparation I wanted to get the jump on the bandwagon and start the conga-line of Bloat threads a little early.

Because, as we know, PFU is set to absolutely and forever ruin Pathfinder, just like the Advanced Player's Guide, Ultimate Combat, Ultimate Magic, Advanced Race Guide, Advanced Class Guide, Ultimate Equipment, GameMastery Guide, Ultimate Campaign, NPC Codex, Monster Codex, Mythic Adventures, and Bestiaries 2-4 completely ruined Pathfinder before it.

The question is, HOW is Pathfinder Unchained going to "RUIN PATHFINDER FOR-EVAR!!!"?

I personally think it's going to ruin everything by instituting a requirement whereby players must attach angry squirrels to their nether-regions before making a Combat Maneuver, while simultaneously having Paizo send a player a check for $23 every time they use a Social Skill in place of roleplaying - with a bonus $5 if you refuse to roleplay your character AT ALL, and instead simply communicate in character EXCLUSIVELY by rolling combinations of Intimidate, Diplomacy, and Bluff checks!

And just remember, everybody - it's gonna be the Bloatiest Bloat that ever Bloated!

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

We've actually been using that squirrel rule at our table for about six months now. I was skeptical at first but it's really grown on me as a way of providing a more immersive experience. We're experimenting with electrodes, matches and liquefied sour gumballs for our wizard to apply to himself whenever he uses an appropriate spells.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

You forgot to discuss the heresy that it is to use anything outside of the CORE RULEBOOK 'cause my Wizard is obviously not the best!


Top kek


I expected this to be a KC thread for some reason. :P

My idea: It will require that consecutive feats on the same character must be taken from different books, with no more than 3 from the same book over a character's career.


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Stakes out a prime location

Silver Crusade

I will miss rogue bashing, I am simply not used to taking the class seriously any more. Oh well there are always rangers


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Sebastian Hirsch wrote:
I will miss rogue bashing, I am simply not used to taking the class seriously any more. Oh well there are always rangers

Don't worry. We can refer to them as Old Rogue and New rogue. There will be plenty of opportunities to bash Old Rogue

Think of all the players starting off with CRB only. We can "enlighten" them when they come in and complain about how useless the Rogue is. The only difference is that now we can say "Go play New Rogue" instead of "Go play Slayer/Investigator/Bard".

Who knows. New Rogue might suck as well. Then we can b**** and moan about two Rogues. Happy Days, right?


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Ah, so now we're being preemptively dismissive of those with whom we disagree. :-/


You can disagree all you want about the power level of old Rogue. I mean you would be factually wrong, but whatever.


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bugleyman wrote:
Ah, so now we're being preemptively dismissive of those with whom we disagree. :-/

Oh, no no NO... not dismissive!

MOCKING!

There's a big difference.


Blah blah blah BLOAT
blah blah blah BAD ROGUE
blah blah blah WORSE THAN B4!!

LOL


*blink*


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Alternatively we could acknowledge that bloat and character class power levels are matters of opinion. The world has plenty of real conflict without us inventing more.

Personally I find the idea that Pathfinder doesn't have a bloat problem patently ridiculous. And judging from so-called "conga line of bloat threads" it would appear I'm not the only one.

And yet somehow I'll refrain from passive-aggressively insulting anyone's parentage. Carry on.


It's not an opinion to say that the Rogue is the worst at its role compared to X classes.

It is a valid opinion to say "well that class is good enough for me and I'm gonns play one."

I mean it's confusing, but I can't argue with your opinion.


Kieviel wrote:
We're experimenting with electrodes, matches and liquefied sour gumballs for our wizard to apply to himself whenever he uses an appropriate spells.

Nah, everyone knows the new rules in Unchained are going to include doubling the number of spell slots for all 9th level casters, letting them replace all other stats with their primary casting stat, and the new rule that requires anyone playing a martial to service the caster players in whatever way the require for the length of the game. It's Paizo's latest effort to correct the martial/caster disparity.

Grand Lodge

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I dunno.

I sorta enjoy all the drama, derp, and wharblegarble. It can be entertaining and cathartic to watch people lose their ever-loving minds over a game. I certainly don't take much that goes on here seriously any more.

-Skeld


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No sir, I don't like it.


I agree. Completely optional rule systems that give alternative ways to play the games and are in no way mandatory or necessary are the devil.

Dark Archive

Wee, time to be mad at things on the internet again! Just what I wanted!


Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.


Irontruth wrote:
Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.

I say carrots and peas, carrots and peas!


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You know, when you quicken me, I become known as Power Word: Bloat.


Somehow, you fleshbound Prime Materials can still find ways to surprise an old Chaos-loving slaad like me. Also, someone seems to have forgotten to summon Kobold Cleaver.

Dark Archive

Ugh this is so much bloat that every character sheet is going to weigh a minimum of 500 Kg from all the optional rules added on. Minimum 70% of that will be an extensive backstory that will justify the characters extensive knowledge of wallaby's with the lore skill, and how they killed the character's parents yadda yadda yadda.

Dark Archive

Helcack wrote:
Ugh this is so much bloat that every character sheet is going to weigh a minimum of 500 Kg from all the optional rules added on. Minimum 70% of that will be an extensive backstory that will justify the characters extensive knowledge of wallaby's with the lore skill, and how they killed the character's parents yadda yadda yadda.

Trash Disintegration Day is a very dangerous day.


Munch munch munch....


I'm part of the noise!


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Well if that slaying and investigative class were not created we would not need a new rogue. Bloat killed the one true rogue. <cries in the corner>

Shadow Lodge

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Dude, your username is the poster child of bloat.


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TOZ wrote:
Dude, your username is the poster child of bloat.

What? I don't know spell you are talking about. Oh crap you did not even mention a spell did you? Um well I uh have to go now <backs out of thread>

Off-topic-->Real story: I was in a debate on the wizards 3.5 forums a few years ago, and someone tried to dismiss my arguments by stating that my name was the same as that spell. :)
It wasn't even a debate on something being OP or broken, and I would suggest that none of you ever let this spell into your PF games.


wraithstrike wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Dude, your username is the poster child of bloat.

What? I don't know spell you are talking about. Oh crap you did not even mention a spell did you? Um well I uh have to go now <backs out of thread>

Off-topic-->Real story: I was in a debate on the wizards 3.5 forums a few years ago, and someone tried to dismiss my arguments by stating that my name was the same as that spell. :)
It wasn't even a debate on something being OP or broken, and I would suggest that none of you ever let this spell into your PF games.

gotta ask...what did it do?


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christos gurd wrote:
wraithstrike wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Dude, your username is the poster child of bloat.

What? I don't know spell you are talking about. Oh crap you did not even mention a spell did you? Um well I uh have to go now <backs out of thread>

Off-topic-->Real story: I was in a debate on the wizards 3.5 forums a few years ago, and someone tried to dismiss my arguments by stating that my name was the same as that spell. :)
It wasn't even a debate on something being OP or broken, and I would suggest that none of you ever let this spell into your PF games.

gotta ask...what did it do?

Second level spell; swift action personal spell that allows melee attacks to be resolved as touch attacks for 1 round. Thus it ignores any armor, shield, & natural armor bonuses.

Apply it to Gloves as an at-will ability for a custom magic item that costs all of 12,000gp and watch the DM cry tears of blood.


Scythia wrote:
I expected this to be a KC thread for some reason. :P

*Sniff*

As if I'd stoop to referencing children's media.

Pathfinder Unchained will actually trick you all. When you open the book, you and your precious "Pathfinder" will be chained. Probably to a railroad track or in a compromising position. It's the opposite of what you'd expect!


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wraithstrike wrote:
Well if that slaying and investigative class were not created we would not need a new rogue. Bloat killed the one true rogue. <cries in the corner>

I'm honestly really f!!%ing sick of all the complaints about bloat. I think bloat kicks ass. It's really great for the game and adds some really fascinating options.

Plus, leeches! Leeches are cool. Personally, I'm hoping we get the next installment of Bloatfinder: The bloatrogue. And the bloatfighter, and the bloatpriest, and then we're all set to fight some normalorcs (sorry, Mikaze, no bloat for you).


Well, until we get the book and have a review about it, we can't really make a judgement yet. And for some of us, such as myself, who are unable to purchase it because we are poor, I don't see any difference as we won't be able to read it anyway. lol


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SiuoL wrote:
Well, until we get the book and have a review about it, we can't really make a judgement yet.

You have to leave now.


No no no SiuoL, this thread is for raving about how the SKY IS FALLING RIGHT NOW!

OMG So much bloat! So many Feats! Option paralysis!

All ah need is power attack, Iron Will, and disruptive! Anything else is too much bloat!


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Kobold Cleaver wrote:
SiuoL wrote:
Well, until we get the book and have a review about it, we can't really make a judgement yet.
You have to leave now.

Come now, we do need some common sense to balance out this madness.


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Do bloat bonuses stack, like dodge bonuses?


chbgraphicarts wrote:
christos gurd wrote:
wraithstrike wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Dude, your username is the poster child of bloat.

What? I don't know spell you are talking about. Oh crap you did not even mention a spell did you? Um well I uh have to go now <backs out of thread>

Off-topic-->Real story: I was in a debate on the wizards 3.5 forums a few years ago, and someone tried to dismiss my arguments by stating that my name was the same as that spell. :)
It wasn't even a debate on something being OP or broken, and I would suggest that none of you ever let this spell into your PF games.

gotta ask...what did it do?

Second level spell; swift action personal spell that allows melee attacks to be resolved as touch attacks for 1 round. Thus it ignores any armor, shield, & natural armor bonuses.

Apply it to Gloves as an at-will ability for a custom magic item that costs all of 12,000gp and watch the DM cry tears of blood.

I always wanted to use it once, just to see the looks on the faces of the players, but I just could not bring myself to do it.


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Umbral Reaver wrote:
Do bloat bonuses stack, like dodge bonuses?

Bloat stacks with everything, even other bloat. It doesn't care about sources or anything. It just stacks.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
SiuoL wrote:
Well, until we get the book and have a review about it, we can't really make a judgement yet.
You have to leave now.

Unreasonable demand, at least state the reason why with a reasonable reason.


Insain Dragoon wrote:

No no no SiuoL, this thread is for raving about how the SKY IS FALLING RIGHT NOW!

OMG So much bloat! So many Feats! Option paralysis!

All ah need is power attack, Iron Will, and disruptive! Anything else is too much bloat!

Oh, thanks for not saying mean things to me like Kobold Cleaver and actually telling things! I wouldn't know that if you haven't told me. Interesting...


wraithstrike wrote:
Umbral Reaver wrote:
Do bloat bonuses stack, like dodge bonuses?
Bloat stacks with everything, even other bloat. It doesn't care about sources or anything. It just stacks.

And if it doesn't have anything to stack with, it bloats more until it can stack with itself?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
SiuoL wrote:
Insain Dragoon wrote:

No no no SiuoL, this thread is for raving about how the SKY IS FALLING RIGHT NOW!

OMG So much bloat! So many Feats! Option paralysis!

All ah need is power attack, Iron Will, and disruptive! Anything else is too much bloat!

Oh, thanks for not saying mean things to me like Kobold Cleaver and actually telling things! I wouldn't know that if you haven't told me. Interesting...

Real comment--->He wasn't serious. Basically this is a joke thread so nothing here should be taken seriously unless it has a disclaimer.


Skylancer4 wrote:
wraithstrike wrote:
Umbral Reaver wrote:
Do bloat bonuses stack, like dodge bonuses?
Bloat stacks with everything, even other bloat. It doesn't care about sources or anything. It just stacks.
And if it doesn't have anything to stack with, it bloats more until it can stack with itself?

Such is the nature of bloat it seems.


wraithstrike wrote:
SiuoL wrote:
Insain Dragoon wrote:

No no no SiuoL, this thread is for raving about how the SKY IS FALLING RIGHT NOW!

OMG So much bloat! So many Feats! Option paralysis!

All ah need is power attack, Iron Will, and disruptive! Anything else is too much bloat!

Oh, thanks for not saying mean things to me like Kobold Cleaver and actually telling things! I wouldn't know that if you haven't told me. Interesting...

Real comment--->He wasn't serious. Basically this is a joke thread so nothing here should be taken seriously unless it has a disclaimer.

Okay. Sorry, I take it back. Still kinda new to this forum thing. Thank for clarify this for me. lol


There's probably a way to exploit this bloat bonus stacking to win at DPR and thus be the best roleplayer.


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I for one look forward to the new book!

Surely these options will be welcomed as the book of houserules that they are!

Is it getting hot in here?

Anyway!

I think these changes are for the positive and the book will be celebrated!

Does anyone else smell smoke?

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