You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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2/5

Erick Wilson wrote:
Jiggy wrote:

...someone says "You're okay with GMing instead, right?"

You did this one to me, Jiggy! :p

Er, wait. No you didn't. That was your brother, lol. I get you guys confused. Anyway, I had fun.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

...all the PCs are bards and they named their adventuring group "Lolthtallica"

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Arizona—Phoenix

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Erick Wilson wrote:
Er, wait. No you didn't. That was your brother, lol. I get you guys confused. Anyway, I had fun.

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?

3/5 RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Erick Wilson wrote:
Erick Wilson wrote:
Jiggy wrote:

...someone says "You're okay with GMing instead, right?"

You did this one to me, Jiggy! :p
Er, wait. No you didn't. That was your brother, lol. I get you guys confused. Anyway, I had fun.

What now? I don't remember this. Or do you mean the third brother? The fourth one doesn't even play.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...and there are 7 other players there, and you are the only other person, besides the GM, who has any sort of PFS game prepped.

Thank Desna for a hotspot, and that I keep my Paizo PDFs on my Google drive, and I have access to the drive on my iPad...

And the players at my table were willing to let me send them the chronicles later...

Shadow Lodge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...the most reasonable person in the adventuring party is your gun-ho CN Taldan corsair.

"Arr, pe'haps it be time fer parlay? They seem mighty confus'd!"

"No man lookit, that phoenix is totally evil!"


2 people marked this as a favorite.

...the owner of the FLGS shop announces, "Oh, by the way, we're using all the other tables here for a big day-long Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. What? What? I can't hear you...."

Silver Crusade 1/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Calybos1 wrote:

...the owner of the FLGS shop announces, "Oh, by the way, we're using all the other tables here for a big day-long Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. What? What? I can't hear you...."

You get to the table, you're GMing the 3rd Saturday slot of a con after also GMing the 2nd Saturday slot, and the con has a FREAKING RAVE going on about 100 ft away and, "No, we won't close the doors, but thanks for asking."

Thank god I took the Monday after that con off from work as I had no voice left whatsoever.

3/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

You sit down and gag at the smell of one of the other players.

Grand Lodge 2/5 RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

18 people marked this as a favorite.

I saw a T-shirt at a recent local con; the front said something like "Gamers with Hygiene" and the back said "I don't smell. Why the hell do you?"


Bigdaddyjug wrote:
Thank god I took the Monday after that con off from work as I had no voice left whatsoever.

I've added some ricolas to my dice bag & offer one to my GM after the game. :)

Silver Crusade 1/5

Curaigh wrote:
Bigdaddyjug wrote:
Thank god I took the Monday after that con off from work as I had no voice left whatsoever.
I've added some ricolas to my dice bag & offer one to my GM after the game. :)

That would have been quite welcome this past weekend. The table I played at on my Sunday slot, half of us were hoarse from yelling over the noise of the rave the previous night.


... when you go to see if you can change rooms for the tables, you find police asking questions near a Pokemon tournament.

Yeah, that happened last Saturday for me. Was going to try to get us a slightly quieter location in between games, and one of the locations had that happen. I didn't know what was going down, just that we weren't going there.

5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kalvit wrote:

... when you go to see if you can change rooms for the tables, you find police asking questions near a Pokemon tournament.

Yeah, that happened last Saturday for me. Was going to try to get us a slightly quieter location in between games, and one of the locations had that happen. I didn't know what was going down, just that we weren't going there.

Damn they take counterfeit cards seriously.


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More than likely, it was a theft. Competitive CCGs are notorious for those things happening. Used to judge a few games like that.

4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Tennessee—Nashville

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Jiggy wrote:
I saw a T-shirt at a recent local con; the front said something like "Gamers with Hygiene" and the back said "I don't smell. Why the hell do you?"

http://www.pegasuspublishing.com/Gamers-for-Personal-Hygiene-Shirt-p-28744. html

That's the shirt. It goes along well with my slogan "Soap. It does *somebody* good."

And for my next contribution: You're running a dungeon crawl with 6 people, half of whom have an animal companion, and a sorcerer whose only spell is "Charm Person" and manages to successfully Charm half the dungeon. There were frequently up to six additional npcs under player control and there were several occasions that the entire menagerie of PCs and pets barely fit in the active room.

2/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

No one in your party is able to identify the spell that keeps switching your caster's location with the BBEG every time the your raging barbarian crits.

4/5 5/55/55/55/5 *** Regional Venture-Coordinator, Central Europe

The rogue is the tank, and the Paladin is the best lier.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5 ****

GreyYeti wrote:
The rogue is the tank, and the Paladin is the best lier.

...but strength based Rogues can actually make decent tanks! ;-)


Wolfspirit wrote:
Jiggy wrote:
I saw a T-shirt at a recent local con; the front said something like "Gamers with Hygiene" and the back said "I don't smell. Why the hell do you?"

http://www.pegasuspublishing.com/Gamers-for-Personal-Hygiene-Shirt-p-28744. html

That's the shirt. It goes along well with my slogan "Soap. It does *somebody* good."

And for my next contribution: You're running a dungeon crawl with 6 people, half of whom have an animal companion, and a sorcerer whose only spell is "Charm Person" and manages to successfully Charm half the dungeon. There were frequently up to six additional npcs under player control and there were several occasions that the entire menagerie of PCs and pets barely fit in the active room.

This is slightly OT, but a very prominent wargame tournament hands out instruction pamphlets on how to clean yourself properly. And Lanards with air freshners on the end.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/5

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The players arrive with no high physical damage or spell damage characters, none of them carries oil of bless weapon, and there's an encounter with all DR 10/good or cold iron creatures plus DR 10/good or cold iron incorporeal creatures.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Mike Bohlmann wrote:
The players arrive with no high physical damage or spell damage characters, none of them carries oil of bless weapon, and there's an encounter with all DR 10/good or cold iron creatures plus DR 10/good or cold iron incorporeal creatures.

Your PCs are working their way through the dungeon, had no serious trouble with the wight, but only have a PC with a negative to his Strength, and therefore to his melee touch attacks, who can use a wand of CLW, and that is the only weapon the group has against the Shadow.

5/5 5/55/55/5

and the map looks like this

Grand Lodge 4/5

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.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)

Silver Crusade 1/5

BigNorseWolf wrote:
and the map looks like this

URL broken (Hotlinking images is bad!). I assume you mean this article's second image.

The Exchange 4/5

Thomas Graham wrote:
.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)

Wow, amazingly thus hasn't happened to me yet.

Grand Lodge 4/5

Benrislove wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)
Wow, amazingly thus hasn't happened to me yet.

GM a convention. Amazing what you can see. Scariest thing I saw. Fighter in full plate with boots of speed trying to catch a run away Goblin Alchemist with something like a 50 move to the gobbos 60 (expeditious retreat)

5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jayson MF Kip wrote:


...and the store has to close due to lightning striking the transformer outside.

This is better than the lightning frying your car (and other cars, and the store's computers, and breaking the store's front window...).

My answer: ... the player in the last game who didn't know how their character's mechanics worked and refused to accept they were wrong is the GM for the next game.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

Thomas Graham wrote:
Benrislove wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)
Wow, amazingly thus hasn't happened to me yet.
GM a convention. Amazing what you can see. Scariest thing I saw. Fighter in full plate with boots of speed trying to catch a run away Goblin Alchemist with something like a 50 move to the gobbos 60 (expeditious retreat)

Odd, sounds like he didn't understand how haste/boots of speed work, too.

Adds up to 30' to your movement speed, but not more than double your base speed...

For a fighter in full plate, before 7th level, 40', 7th level or later, encumbrance permitting, 60'. Unless he has a single instance of the Fleet feat... And I would have to check to see if it stacks with haste's speed boost...

Grand Lodge 4/5

kinevon wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
Benrislove wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)
Wow, amazingly thus hasn't happened to me yet.
GM a convention. Amazing what you can see. Scariest thing I saw. Fighter in full plate with boots of speed trying to catch a run away Goblin Alchemist with something like a 50 move to the gobbos 60 (expeditious retreat)

Odd, sounds like he didn't understand how haste/boots of speed work, too.

Adds up to 30' to your movement speed, but not more than double your base speed...

For a fighter in full plate, before 7th level, 40', 7th level or later, encumbrance permitting, 60'. Unless he has a single instance of the Fleet feat... And I would have to check to see if it stacks with haste's speed boost...

True.. but in MEDIUM armor? And it was like 100 ft FULL round move..

Like I said it sent up flags when I heard her say her action.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

Thomas Graham wrote:
kinevon wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
Benrislove wrote:
Thomas Graham wrote:
.... you sit down to GM a table and discover halfway thru the level 5 fighter has Boots of Speed because she spent 20-something fame in one bite to buy them (if you can spend 2 pp to get 750 why can't I spend more?)
Wow, amazingly thus hasn't happened to me yet.
GM a convention. Amazing what you can see. Scariest thing I saw. Fighter in full plate with boots of speed trying to catch a run away Goblin Alchemist with something like a 50 move to the gobbos 60 (expeditious retreat)

Odd, sounds like he didn't understand how haste/boots of speed work, too.

Adds up to 30' to your movement speed, but not more than double your base speed...

For a fighter in full plate, before 7th level, 40', 7th level or later, encumbrance permitting, 60'. Unless he has a single instance of the Fleet feat... And I would have to check to see if it stacks with haste's speed boost...

True.. but in MEDIUM armor? And it was like 100 ft FULL round move..

Like I said it sent up flags when I heard her say her action.

For medium armor, you just change the level isted as 3rd instead of 7th for the speed change. Barring Fleet, the speed for a hasted fighter in medium or heavy armor will be either 40' or 60'.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Arizona—Phoenix

kinevon wrote:
Your PCs are working their way through the dungeon, had no serious trouble with the wight, but only have a PC with a negative to his Strength, and therefore to his melee touch attacks, who can use a wand of CLW, and that is the only weapon the group has against the Shadow.

I tried to cover all the bases. I even asked the group if there was anything I should pick up!

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

TriOmegaZero wrote:
kinevon wrote:
Your PCs are working their way through the dungeon, had no serious trouble with the wight, but only have a PC with a negative to his Strength, and therefore to his melee touch attacks, who can use a wand of CLW, and that is the only weapon the group has against the Shadow.
I tried to cover all the bases. I even asked the group if there was anything I should pick up!

Just means the group wasn't prepared to cover all bases.

I don't recall, did anyone have any holy water the first time through?

5/5 5/55/55/5

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You have to call your daughter to translate because you're too old to understand the other gamers leet speak.


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
and the map looks like this

Or it looks like this.

3/5

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Ohh I had this sunday. You have to explain to the level 11s simple things about their characters like a wizard and druid are not spontaneous casters.

I almost gouged my eyes out when I saw him deciding spells for his druid in the second combat from the core and picked a wizard spell for his druid.


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When the GM says "Oh god, everything here has class levels, and is higher then you"

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Arizona—Phoenix

kinevon wrote:
I don't recall, did anyone have any holy water the first time through?

Nope. I need to get me an ant haul spell for all the alchemical items he's going to start carrying.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

TriOmegaZero wrote:
kinevon wrote:
I don't recall, did anyone have any holy water the first time through?
Nope. I need to get me an ant haul spell for all the alchemical items he's going to start carrying.

Don't forget the level of Alchemist, so you can make 'em cheap yourself.

"Okay, now, who needs antitoxin? How about antiplague? Now, who has the best ranged attack bonus, so you can carry the tanglefoot and tangleburn bags."

5/5 *****

1 person marked this as a favorite.
TriOmegaZero wrote:
kinevon wrote:
I don't recall, did anyone have any holy water the first time through?
Nope. I need to get me an ant haul spell for all the alchemical items he's going to start carrying.

I find the handy haversack invaluable for carrying large quantities of alchemical items which are often rather heavy. At 2k it is also pretty cheap.

Silver Crusade 3/5

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...all the players have arrived, the GM has not, and then you get a text message saying something like "oh dang, the game was TODAY? Sorry, I cannot come, I'm totally hungover".


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...and everyone gets out decks of Yu-Gi-Oh cards...

2/5

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...and the game opens with a rehash of the latest rules argument. (Find any of the 100+ post threads in the rules forum that's popular for the week and pick one.)

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Arizona—Phoenix

1 person marked this as a favorite.
kinevon wrote:
Don't forget the level of Alchemist, so you can make 'em cheap yourself.

...dammit, he IS an Alchemist, so I should have been using that...

Dark Archive 4/5 5/55/5 *** Regional Venture-Coordinator, Midwest

2 people marked this as a favorite.

...someone says "dammit, he IS an Alchemist..."

The Exchange 5/5

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TriOmegaZero wrote:
kinevon wrote:
Don't forget the level of Alchemist, so you can make 'em cheap yourself.
...dammit, he IS an Alchemist, so I should have been using that...

just make sure his craft alchemy is good enough... yeah, I've seen an Alchemist with no ranks in Craft Alchemy...


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...the hotel employee tells you the convention was last week.

-j

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

1 person marked this as a favorite.
nosig wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:
kinevon wrote:
Don't forget the level of Alchemist, so you can make 'em cheap yourself.
...dammit, he IS an Alchemist, so I should have been using that...
just make sure his craft alchemy is good enough... yeah, I've seen an Alchemist with no ranks in Craft Alchemy...

Sorry, after running Accursed Halls online on Saturday, I also ran Black Waters FtF on Sunday.

We had an alchemist/ragechemist at the table.
Sat there, as the GM, watching him fail rolls, because his Alchemy was +7, and he wants to make things with DC 25s.

Grand Lodge 2/5

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

But.. but.. my 5th level alchemist is already at +20. That's ridiculous.

5/5 5/55/55/5

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The cleric looks over at your character sheet, winces, and hands you a 50gp platnium ring and says "till death do us part"

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