You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


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Sovereign Court 4/5 ⦵⦵⦵⦵ Venture-Agent, Georgia—Atlanta aka The Masked Ferret

mcruggiero wrote:
Everyone only brought d6s.

Thant means you should be playing Shadowrun!

The Exchange 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
The Masked Ferret wrote:
mcruggiero wrote:
Everyone only brought d6s.
Thant means you should be playing Shadowrun!

Battletech?

3/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

or feng shui, which you only need 2d6 for...

Grand Lodge 5/5 Venture-Agent, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

Yahtzee needs 5.

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

When the Gm opens his notes and all the lights in the room flicker simultaneously.

To clarify we're not talking a small room here. It was a sports hall with many gaming tables set up in it. Wow that memory takes me back quite a few years. It was shortly before the turn of the century.

3/5

just how old are you? the 1800s were a looonnnngggg time a go
I know, but if you're gonna lob it over the plate like that, I might as well take a swing...

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas aka kinevon

and the GM puts up his GM screen, and it is covered with skull and crossbones stickers...

Dark Archive 4/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
kinevon wrote:
and the GM puts up his GM screen, and it is covered with skull and crossbones stickers...

But... How else am I supposed to show my love of Besmara?

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...find out that your social event comprises of uncharismatic fighters, barbarians, rogues, druids, and clerics...and there is a language barrier to boot.

...when your halfling rogue wants to surf a stampede with a collapsible ladder.

3/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cao Phen wrote:
...when your halfling rogue wants to surf a stampede with a collapsible ladder.

I would shift this to the other thread instead. That Halfling is kinda awesome, and I'm a firm believer in the rule of cool.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

... And the DM running a campaign heavily focused on the Whispering Way doesn't agree with Undead now being susceptible to crits and precision damage so he's running them as immune.

The party makeup? A fighter decked out with crit feats, 2 rogues, and a bard. Arguing ensued.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

--The GM is wearing a George Romero t-shirt.
--The GM asks for a list of the characters' daily and encounter powers.
--You realize that you are the only fetchling among a party that resembles the cast of Jersey Shore.

4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...You're introduced to a play called Crazy Dan, and it's pointed out that they don't mean in a fun or whacky way.

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You're about to run a game and you get a call from your doctor on your cel phone.

"Hey, I just got your MRI, what hospital are you in?
"Uhhmmmmmm

The Exchange 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

the 3 new players with 1 chronicle, 2 of which are multi classed and a 16 cost 6 points and 18 -8. just happened last Sunday. Ran 4-01 for them and it was a near thing.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

The GM announces that, 'we will be taking breaks every 20 minutes or so to hear a word from our sponsors'.

I mean, did you really believe that there was a corner of life that the epitome of pure evil could not reach? Bwhahahahaha!


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Hymenopteran wrote:

The GM announces that, 'we will be taking breaks every 20 minutes or so to hear a word from our sponsors'.

I mean, did you really believe that there was a corner of life that the epitome of pure evil could not reach? Bwhahahahaha!

I played at a tablke wher eyou replace commercials with smoke breaks

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Pass check at start of a scenario, explain to the party why they shouldn't attack the caryatid pillars in front of them. Further explain that on your turn, you can neutralize them (and will indeed act before the creatures). ...... Observe as the hunter goes up and breaks his weapon on a caryatid pillar. Observe further as said hunter proceeds to stop right on the edge of your created pit, almost falling in the pit with the group of caryatid pillars you trapped inside it.


5 people marked this as a favorite.

...and at least two of the players are loudly arguing over what type of "build" the third (a newbie) should make.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Fans mistake your pathfinder's group with the Smashmouther's fan club and insist that everyone sing the song "all star" instead of playing...

Eventually you get a whole party of bards together.

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

... You find out the GM is a Justin Bieber fan, or "belieber" as they evidently call themselves.

Lantern Lodge 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...advanced young anything.

Grand Lodge 4/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jayson MF Kip wrote:
...advanced young anything.

Scratch the "advanced" part. The young template is nothing but trouble on its own.

Venture-Lieutenant, Spain—Santa Cruz de Tenerife aka Black Mountain

The rogue is unable to deactivate traps

The Exchange 5/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

You find out you are running a scenario set in a brothel, and half you table is female and 13 or younger... and the other half is parents...

wow... I'm running this on Sunday and have to come up with a way to describe "the House of the Silken Veil" in a way that passes over the heads of the younger half of the table, but the older half still "get it"...

The Exchange 5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jacknification wrote:
The rogue is unable to deactivate traps

yep, there's alot of that going around....

Go to earlier in this thread....

... the Rogue (5th level) doesn't have disable device, not even one rank, ... because he would then be expected to have to deal with the traps, and that could get you killed... "I'm not that kind of Rogue."

Dark Archive

... you sit down and realize someone has mistaken rogue for a PC class.

Grand Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

...everyone slowly looks up from their novels, and with blank stares, and monotone voices, asks, "Oh, will you joining us? I guess that is fine." then looks down again at their novels.


nosig wrote:

You find out you are running a scenario set in a brothel, and half you table is female and 13 or younger... and the other half is parents...

wow... I'm running this on Sunday and have to come up with a way to describe "the House of the Silken Veil" in a way that passes over the heads of the younger half of the table, but the older half still "get it"...

They belong to the Seamstresses' Guild?

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Rogue always disables traps. If you don't have ranks in disable device, the party throws you onto the trap. Problem solved.


BigNorseWolf wrote:
Rogue always disables traps. If you don't have ranks in disable device, the party throws you onto the trap. Problem solved.

I use ma wand o' mount.

Shadow Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Finlanderboy wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Rogue always disables traps. If you don't have ranks in disable device, the party throws you onto the trap. Problem solved.
I use ma wand o' mount.

For a moment there, I thought you were commenting on the brothel, rather than the rogue thing.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

The thread's just about run its course, heh.


pH unbalanced wrote:
Finlanderboy wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Rogue always disables traps. If you don't have ranks in disable device, the party throws you onto the trap. Problem solved.
I use ma wand o' mount.
For a moment there, I thought you were commenting on the brothel, rather than the rogue thing.

Well you could use it there too!

Grand Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Why isn't 6 afraid of 7 anymore?

Spoiler:
Because 786.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

...one or more players is explaining "My character is useless at this level, but once he's level 7/9/11 and qualifies for FeatX/AbilityY/PrestigeClassZ, he'll be awesome."

The Exchange 5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Calybos1 wrote:

...one or more players is explaining "My character is useless at this level, but once he's level 7/9/11 and qualifies for FeatX/AbilityY/PrestigeClassZ, he'll be awesome."

"...once he gets to 14th level...."


14 people marked this as a favorite.

Here's one that actually happened, in a PFS game with a not-that-kind-of-bard:

Player, during combat: "Hey, how about some Inspire Courage over here?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 2: "Okay, how about helping us with the fight, then? I see you've got a sword..."
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard. I withdraw and go full-defense."
Player 3: "These guys have invisibility--do you know Glitterdust?"
NTKOB: "No offensive spells; I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 4, after the combat: "I've got a Wand of Mage Armor; can you UMD it?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm... well, you know."
Much later, in a tricky NPC encounter: "Looks like we need some Diplomacy here. Bard?"
NTKOB: "Nope."
"Bluff?"
NTKOB: "No."
"Sense Motive?"
NTKOB: "Sorry."
"Knowledge checks?"
NTKOB: "Not today, sir, no. We usually get knowledges in fresh on Mondays. Today, the van broke down."

Entire party: "You do HAVE some bard abilities, right?"
NTKOB: "Err...."

We never did find out what he was actually capable of doing.


10 people marked this as a favorite.

I would have been great to explore the issue further if we'd had time....

Players: "Ahh, how about Perception?"
NTKOB: "Well, I don't get much call for it."
Players: "Not much...? It's the single most popular skill in the game!"
NTKOB: "Not 'round this build, sir...."

Shadow Lodge

6 people marked this as a favorite.

I too play "Not That Kind of Bard:"

Players: "Alright Bard, there's some enemies, so just stay behind us and buff."

NTKOB: "Heh. Staying behind and buffing, that's a good one. I rage and charge."

Players: "..."

GM: "..."

"NTKOB: "Does 29 hit?"


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Calybos1 wrote:

Here's one that actually happened, in a PFS game with a not-that-kind-of-bard:

Player, during combat: "Hey, how about some Inspire Courage over here?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 2: "Okay, how about helping us with the fight, then? I see you've got a sword..."
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard. I withdraw and go full-defense."
Player 3: "These guys have invisibility--do you know Glitterdust?"
NTKOB: "No offensive spells; I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 4, after the combat: "I've got a Wand of Mage Armor; can you UMD it?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm... well, you know."
Much later, in a tricky NPC encounter: "Looks like we need some Diplomacy here. Bard?"
NTKOB: "Nope."
"Bluff?"
NTKOB: "No."
"Sense Motive?"
NTKOB: "Sorry."
"Knowledge checks?"
NTKOB: "Not today, sir, no. We usually get knowledges in fresh on Mondays. Today, the van broke down."

Entire party: "You do HAVE some bard abilities, right?"
NTKOB: "Err...."

We never did find out what he was actually capable of doing.

I have seen someone play this type of bard. I looked at his character sheet.

The feat was fleet and spells were expedious retreat and alarm. Dex 20, cha 13, int 11, con 11.

They just played a coward that ran from everything, and never helped with anything.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Finlanderboy wrote:
Calybos1 wrote:

Here's one that actually happened, in a PFS game with a not-that-kind-of-bard:

Player, during combat: "Hey, how about some Inspire Courage over here?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 2: "Okay, how about helping us with the fight, then? I see you've got a sword..."
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm not that kind of bard. I withdraw and go full-defense."
Player 3: "These guys have invisibility--do you know Glitterdust?"
NTKOB: "No offensive spells; I'm not that kind of bard."
Player 4, after the combat: "I've got a Wand of Mage Armor; can you UMD it?"
NTKOB: "Sorry, I'm... well, you know."
Much later, in a tricky NPC encounter: "Looks like we need some Diplomacy here. Bard?"
NTKOB: "Nope."
"Bluff?"
NTKOB: "No."
"Sense Motive?"
NTKOB: "Sorry."
"Knowledge checks?"
NTKOB: "Not today, sir, no. We usually get knowledges in fresh on Mondays. Today, the van broke down."

Entire party: "You do HAVE some bard abilities, right?"
NTKOB: "Err...."

We never did find out what he was actually capable of doing.

I have seen someone play this type of bard. I looked at his character sheet.

The feat was fleet and spells were expedious retreat and alarm. Dex 20, cha 13, int 11, con 11.

They just played a coward that ran from everything, and never helped with anything.

Was his character's name Rincewind?

Liberty's Edge

3 people marked this as a favorite.

... and your bard's wand of CLW is the only healing in the entire party of 6.

I have to hand it to not-that-kind-of-bard, that's the most optimised-to-be-useless bard I've ever heard of.

5/5 ⦵⦵⦵

2 people marked this as a favorite.
PrinceRaven wrote:

... and your bard's wand of CLW is the only healing in the entire party of 6.

I have to hand it to not-that-kind-of-bard, that's the most optimised-to-be-useless bard I've ever heard of.

Its a role playing build!

Liberty's Edge

Without Diplomacy?

I'm honestly confused which Bard variant they're playing and where all those skill points went.

Grand Lodge

If I was GMing for NTKOB and saw the PC they had built, I'd view it as the player being a jerk and either ask them to leave or quietly mention to the other players that I would not notice if any of their PCs happened to accidentally on purpose damage NTKOB. After the game, I would let the player of NTKOB know they would not be welcome at any of my tables anymore.

The exception being of course, if that player only played with that group, and they were all okay with his character.

Liberty's Edge

So a bard with no buffing abilities, useful skills or useful spells... Are you sure he wasn't actually playing a Fighter in disguise?


Finlanderboy wrote:

I have seen someone play this type of bard. I looked at his character sheet.

The feat was fleet and spells were expedious retreat and alarm. Dex 20, cha 13, int 11, con 11.

They just played a coward that ran from everything, and never helped with anything.

I remember a game where the DMPC was statted out like that.

Either the best or the worst escort mission ever, and I'm not sure which.

4/5 Venture-Agent, Idaho—Moscow aka Flaming Duck

I've seen an alchemist that purposely did not take precise bombs and spent almost the entire time trying to PK using friendly fire. It was during King of the Storval Stairs too, if I remember right. I guess I didn't know I'd be in trouble when I got to the table on that one, but it became apparent pretty quick!

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