You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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Dark Archive 2/5

BigNorseWolf wrote:
The Beard wrote:
Jeremiah Hatcher wrote:

Half of the players are wearing Sailor Moon cosplay, and all the players are men, but none of them are cosplaying the male roles.

Yeah, let that mental image disturb you.

... then you realize they aren't wearing underpants under those skirts.
Why were you looking?

Those micro skirts don't hide much. Doesn't matter if you look or not; you will regret being there.

Silver Crusade 5/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.
BigNorseWolf wrote:
The Beard wrote:
Jeremiah Hatcher wrote:

Half of the players are wearing Sailor Moon cosplay, and all the players are men, but none of them are cosplaying the male roles.

Yeah, let that mental image disturb you.

... then you realize they aren't wearing underpants under those skirts.
Why were you looking?

Why weren't you?

2/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

the Gm says it's okay to run away from the final encounter.

Shadow Lodge 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
G-Zeus wrote:
the Gm says it's okay to run away from the final encounter.

It's always a good idea to run from the final encounter.

Dark Archive 2/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

The GM is smiling like Alucard right before a entire room full of nazis dies.

5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Charisma scores at the table are 7, 7, 7, 7, 10, and hslf the enemies in the scenario deal charisma drain.

5/5 5/55/55/5

UndeadMitch wrote:
BigNorseWolf wrote:
The Beard wrote:
Jeremiah Hatcher wrote:

Half of the players are wearing Sailor Moon cosplay, and all the players are men, but none of them are cosplaying the male roles.

Yeah, let that mental image disturb you.

... then you realize they aren't wearing underpants under those skirts.
Why were you looking?
Why weren't you?

Out of brain bleach.

Shadow Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.

You sit down at the table only to realize you signed up for Ponyfinder instead of Pathfinder.

Silver Crusade

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Dylos wrote:
You sit down at the table only to realize you signed up for Ponyfinder instead of Pathfinder.

You're just jealous of my Unicorn Bloodrager.

Grand Lodge

7 people marked this as a favorite.

...the GM for the day is the notorious director/producer/writer/star of "The Room", Tommy Wiseau. And the adventure is something he wrote himself and has an NPC in it also named and looks like Tommy Wiseau.

Hopefully this joke is not to over everyone's heads. If it is, just look it up "The Room" and Tommy Wiseau on the net.

Silver Crusade 1/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Well, that COULD make for some interesting adventures. "But brave heroes, surely you can tell us how you defeated the dragon!" - "We can't, its confidential! Anyway, your majesty, how is your sex life?"

Sovereign Court 3/5

Jeremiah Hatcher wrote:

...the GM for the day is the notorious director/producer/writer/star of "The Room", Tommy Wiseau. And the adventure is something he wrote himself and has an NPC in it also named and looks like Tommy Wiseau.

Hopefully this joke is not to over everyone's heads. If it is, just look it up "The Room" and Tommy Wiseau on the net.

The BBEG is Chris R, with the magical disappearing powers and overall plot unimportance of the original!

Silver Crusade 1/5

GeoffA wrote:
The Beard wrote:
Alternatively, you realize the paladin has the highest CHA and lowest STR.
Wait, I think I have this character . . . Does it count as mitigating circumstances that he's a gnome, or does that make things worse?

I AM that paladin... but I've got all the dex, dervish dancer, ect...


4 people marked this as a favorite.

...you break into the BBEG's inner sanctum and:

-The obscenely optimized Gunslinger runs screaming from the room before the DM can finish reading the description.

-The player who has quoted the stats of every encountered monster thus far merely remarks "That's just delaying the inevitable."

-The player who quotes Princess Bride and Monty Python ad nauseum says "Don't move. It can't see us if we don't move."

-The party wizard uses the Scroll of Wish that he's been sitting on for a year and a half to teleport to safety. More precisely, 'safety' is 'several planes away, under an assumed identity.'

Scarab Sages 5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Dylos wrote:
You sit down at the table only to realize you signed up for Ponyfinder instead of Pathfinder.

Ponyfinder the campaign


From the other week:

You find out the GM insists on treating your wizard's familiar using the same rules as animal companions. Even though the owl has a higher intelligence than the party barbarian...


You realize that you are the only female player, with the only female character, and you are about to play Sixfold Trial...

Luckily, I host, so I was able to insist that if anyone voices Ilsandra, it is the text-to-speech functionality of my computer.

Silver Crusade 1/5

The Beard wrote:
... the GM keeps trying to play footsie with you under the table.

Well unless the GM is your SO

2/5

6 people marked this as a favorite.

... The GM mutters sourly about the beastiery box (any of them) not having a big enough base for the end boss.

Silver Crusade 1/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

...you get to your table, and it's the Saturday 7-midnight slot of a convention that started on Thursday and at least 2 of the players at your table have not availed themselves of their hotel room showers. And the only seat left at the table is right between them.

The Exchange 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Bigdaddyjug wrote:
...you get to your table, and it's the Saturday 7-midnight slot of a convention that startd on Thursday and at least 2 of the players at your table have not availed themselves of their hotel room showers. And the only seat left at the table is right between them.

It's August and the AC (not Animal Companion) in the hotel went out Thursday...

(yeah, I had this happen once...Big fans do not replace the AC!)

edit: OH! and as they have had the same judge all week end they know he insists they wear their faction shirts to get the re-roll....

Silver Crusade 1/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
nosig wrote:
Bigdaddyjug wrote:
...you get to your table, and it's the Saturday 7-midnight slot of a convention that started on Thursday and at least 2 of the players at your table have not availed themselves of their hotel room showers. And the only seat left at the table is right between them.

It's August and the AC (not Animal Companion) in the hotel went out Thursday...

(yeah, I had this happen once...Big fans do not replace the AC!)

It's stories like this that make me want to add -Respirator- to my "list of things to pack for conventions".

Grand Lodge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
RainyDayNinja wrote:
...when the barbarian says "I don't need armor; my hit points are my AC. You have a wand to heal me with, right?"

Suddenly I am hit with a shiver of déjà vu.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

-When you are against a single demon, and everybody goes unconscious and the only Cleric dies for reals. (Really happened with my party in Year of The Demon.)

-You know you are in trouble/screwed when your party didn't buy any Cold Iron Weapons nor do they have any on hand, making the enemies impossible to defeat because they are demons!

Dark Archive 2/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

You realize your insane ex-girlfriend is behind the DM's screen.

Shadow Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Rose Meadows wrote:

-When you are against a single demon, and everybody goes unconscious and the only Cleric dies for reals. (Really happened with my party in Year of The Demon.)

-You know you are in trouble/screwed when your party didn't buy any Cold Iron Weapons nor do they have any on hand, making the enemies impossible to defeat because they are demons!

Dealing with Demons:
There's more then one way to kill a demon. As Evil Outsiders, demons take damage from holy water. As Evil Outsiders, demons take additional damage from a paladin's smite, the smite also automatically bypasses their damage reduction. Most Demons have DR 5, 10 tops, so even without a cold iron weapon, front line characters should be able to get some damage in, additionally, some demons have DR cold iron or good, meaning bless weapon will cause your weapon to bypass. Demons, like most creatures, take full damage from anything that deals sonic damage. Although reduced, Demons still take damage from acid, cold, and fire (for the most part) - this includes spells. If the demons were summoned, a protection from evil spell will prevent them from attack you, unless you attack first, if the cleric casts protection from evil while fighting summoned demons, and refrains from attacking, the demons cannot attack her.
Rysky wrote:
Dylos wrote:
You sit down at the table only to realize you signed up for Ponyfinder instead of Pathfinder.
You're just jealous of my Unicorn Bloodrager.

If you are a Unicorn Bloodrager in a ponyfinder game, and friendship is magic, does friendship course through your veins when you rage?

Silver Crusade

Yes, you don't Fxxx with Friendship.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I remember when we did a ponyfinder game at PFS. It was a one off where we made a pony character and did a scenario we all played for no credit. I think it was Blakros Matrimony. And Everyone was ponies.

Grand Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.

...halfway through the scenario you realize that the PC that your PC was hitting on is the GM's wife's character. No matter how you look at it, its weird.

5/5 5/55/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

You sit down at a table of Bonekeep, with 5 players, and one of those players says he is playing a pacifist fighter with a whip attack.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You sit down at a table, and your Str 12 fighter is the heavy damage dealer...

5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

1 bottle of tea, 1 bottle of cold medicine, those balance each other out right?

Silver Crusade

Social scenario, and the Druid's AC has a higher Charisma than he does.

Silver Crusade 5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
lucky7 wrote:
Social scenario, and the Druid's AC has a higher Charisma than he does.

I fail to see the problem there.

Silver Crusade

I was the druid. It was.

Grand Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...and everyone only use piercing ranged weapon against a pack of skeletons that explode when they die cause they don't want to die and you have NO tank.

This actually happened to me today, although one player had blunt tipped arrows to do some bashing, but don't think he hit any skeletons. Luckily I was a Sorcerer with a magic missile want and managed to roll high on the damage roll this taking one skeleton out a turn.

3/5 RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

2 people marked this as a favorite.

...you know the boss is incorporeal, and only one of the PCs has a magic weapon.

...the party finds just the right magic items they need to overcome the boss, but no one is capable of identifying magic items.

Grand Lodge

RainyDayNinja wrote:

...you know the boss is incorporeal, and only one of the PCs has a magic weapon.

...the party finds just the right magic items they need to overcome the boss, but no one is capable of identifying magic items.

And I was literally one table over listening to that happen. And I will say it one more time... "The half-orc barbarian ran away!"

You had to be there to understand that.


That happened once

Spoiler:
Ok, SO. Thornkeep we had lvl 2 roagues, both with a +Alot in lockpicking or something. Y'know how those doors are for the end of the dungeons for wwhen you leave? We went through those at the beggining. YEP. Guess who had no magic weapons?


16 people marked this as a favorite.
BigNorseWolf wrote:


... the animal companion has the highest charisma in the party

In a similar vein, we were playing through a campaign and the players were stuck on a difficult riddle, so I decided to allow the smartest character an Intelligence check to see if I could give him a hint.

I looked over the character sheets, sighed, turned to the player of the paladin and said, "Summon your celestial pegasus. He needs to solve a riddle for you."

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Agent, Nevada—Las Vegas

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You are the GM, the game is Accursed Halls, you have three players, running a gunslinger, a cleric (who chose the archetype that can't channel to harm undead), and a rogue, and they take Valeros as the iconic...

Grand Lodge 3/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...you start the game with 4 players, and one is a new player running an iconic. The new player chooses Harsk, because he has a beard...

...then you find out that Harsk has the highest charisma in the party, at a charming 8, and has the best bluff skill at -1!


3 people marked this as a favorite.

The GM sits at the table with a crusty sledge hammer, whispers to it, points to you and says "roll initiative."

4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

the GM informs you of his suspicions of writer's vying for the worst teleport ever award...
"the NPC looks at you tapping his foot, 'are you guys ready to go yet?' "

2/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

... The GM announces the scenario name and 3 players simultaneously exclaim some version of "aw, nuts! I think I've played this one."

The Exchange 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jason Hanlon wrote:
... The GM announces the scenario name and 3 players simultaneously exclaim some version of "aw, nuts! I think I've played this one."

nah.... you're in the first encounter (more than half an hour into the game slot - so they can's switch players in from other tables) when they realize they all played it before...

Grand Lodge 5/5 ****

You are at a table where one of the group gets nominated for the prize of most ridiculous kill of the convention.

Add to this - only a single PFS character gets nominated

Yes - as far as memorable goes - this one will be burned into my memory. It was a mix of ineptitude due to 5 players being new and one experienced player knocked out and the other one the victim. Took me 4 rounds to eat his brains - this was slow motion death.

Liberty's Edge 2/5

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Jason Hanlon wrote:
... The GM announces the scenario name and 3 players simultaneously exclaim some version of "aw, nuts! I think I've played this one."

No no no...the game has been posted on an events calander they sign up using for 3 weeks in advance...and they still get to the first encounter and go, "Aw nuts I think I played this one!"

Are you serious? I WILL eat your character sheet.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens Subscriber

You sit down at a certain "investigate the cult and pretend to join them" scenario and the total charisma modifier is -11.

This. Actually. Happened.

Liberty's Edge 2/5

The Morphling wrote:

You sit down at a certain "investigate the cult and pretend to join them" scenario and the total charisma modifier is -11.

This. Actually. Happened.

I was the prettiest at CHA 11. Playing a elf, who was playing a human, who was playing an elf from Korvosa, because he could not figure out his own disguise. There was a lot wrong with our "super sleuthing".

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