Your Skippy's List -or- Things You're No Longer Allowed To Do In PFS

[Jack-of-Blades]

I am strictly forbidden from ever using Commune to call up Asmodeus just to say "S'up, bro?" ever again.

[David H]

Even though it does cauterize wounds, fireball is not a healing spell.

Despite how appropriate it would be, I cannot use ghost sound to play the Final Fantasy victory music after killing the last monster.

Offering to invite others to the gun show does not make my Strength 18 PC a gunslinger.

Despite how effective it is, a major image of a naked Drandle Dreng does not count as a mass phantasmal killer.

I am not allowed to request being the only non-Halfling in a party for a mission in Cheliax so I can use them as bargaining chips.

There is no Hellknight Order of the Stick.

I am not allowed to shower the tengu PC's with 11 herbs and spices.

I am not allowed to ask tiefling PC's 'Where in hell did you come from?'

Trying to steal an aasimar's halo to become good is a self-defeating goal.

I am not allowed to make Guadil Karela an offer he can't refuse.

[Gwen Smith]

Kurthnaga wrote:

To add to my previous post, which I can no longer edit.

I am no longer allowed to attempt to appraise female party members to see what their going street rate would be.

I'm waiting for the update "I am no longer allowed to appraise male party members to see what their going street rate would be."

Like the classic Skippyism:
Number 70: I am not allowed to chew gum in formation unless I bring enough for everybody.

Number 71: I am not allowed to chew gum in formation even if I bring enough for everybody.

[thunderspirit]

David Higaki wrote:

Despite how appropriate it would be, I cannot use ghost sound to play the Final Fantasy victory music after killing the last monster.

Similarly, I'm not allowed to use the same spell to do the 60s-era Batman transition theme when moving between acts in a scenario.

[Kyrie Ebonblade]

Jiggy wrote:

No matter how creepy the tiny little fishing village is, I'm not allowed to go camp somewhere, prep half a dozen or more fireball spells, then stand at the top of the 400ft high cliff that surrounds said village and level the whole place in less than a minute.

Hmm.. I wonder where this is.. I think I know.

[Benrislove]

David Higaki wrote:

Even though it does cauterize wounds, fireball is not a healing spell.

Despite how effective it is, a major image of a naked Drandle Dreng does not count as a mass phantasmal killer.

I'm not so sure, I think naked Drendle Drang would counts as Weird

[Fromper]

Thomas Graham wrote:

Jiggy wrote:

No matter how creepy the tiny little fishing village is, I'm not allowed to go camp somewhere, prep half a dozen or more fireball spells, then stand at the top of the 400ft high cliff that surrounds said village and level the whole place in less than a minute.

Hmm.. I wonder where this is.. I think I know.

Gotta be Sandpoint.

[David H]

Chris Rathunde wrote:

David Higaki wrote:

Despite how appropriate it would be, I cannot use ghost sound to play the Final Fantasy victory music after killing the last monster.

Similarly, I'm not allowed to use the same spell to do the 60s-era Batman transition theme when moving between acts in a scenario.

My Sound Striker Bard is now no longer allowed to have his Word Strike or Weird Words say "BAMF!", "WHACK!", "BORT!", etc.

[thunderspirit]

David Higaki wrote:

Chris Rathunde wrote:

David Higaki wrote:

Despite how appropriate it would be, I cannot use ghost sound to play the Final Fantasy victory music after killing the last monster.

Similarly, I'm not allowed to use the same spell to do the 60s-era Batman transition theme when moving between acts in a scenario.

My Sound Striker Bard is now no longer allowed to have his Word Strike or Weird Words say "BAMF!", "WHACK!", "BORT!", etc.

Those are Words of Power! :-D

In the same vein, "Oof!" is not a suitable Barbarian name.

[Jiggy]

Thomas Graham wrote:

Jiggy wrote:

No matter how creepy the tiny little fishing village is, I'm not allowed to go camp somewhere, prep half a dozen or more fireball spells, then stand at the top of the 400ft high cliff that surrounds said village and level the whole place in less than a minute.

Hmm.. I wonder where this is.. I think I know.

The adventure in question...:

From Shore to Sea. Tiny fishing village, with ocean on one side and surrounded by cliffs everywhere else. So the creepier things got, the more I considered the tactical merits of preemptive nuking from hundreds of feet away.

I ended up not doing it (I think we actually decided something like "let's follow up this one other lead first, and if nothing clicks, we do it" - but then the story progressed), which is fortunate, since it turned out that the villagers were the victims rather than the villains. :/

[Fromper]

Speaking of Drandle Dreng, I'm still waiting for the old codger to finally keel over and die already. I can just picture his funeral as the basis for a scenario. Maybe he hid some valuable artifacts and you have to track them down by digging into the details of his back story. Kinda like the last two Harry Potter books, except that DD grew up to be more evil than Voldemort.

And then in the end, you find out that...

Spoiler:

Dreng's alive! He was never dead at all. The whole thing was a ruse to draw out his enemies, or possibly just retire in peace without anyone coming after him.

[Alexander_Damocles]

Fromper wrote:

Speaking of Drandle Dreng, I'm still waiting for the old codger to finally keel over and die already. I can just picture his funeral as the basis for a scenario. Maybe he hid some valuable artifacts and you have to track them down by digging into the details of his back story. Kinda like the last two Harry Potter books, except that DD grew up to be more evil than Voldemort.

And then in the end, you find out that... ** spoiler omitted **

Write it up as an adventure idea and submit it. I'd *totally* play that one!

[Big Kyle]

I am no longer allowed to...

Test to see if something is flamable or inflamable within the walls of Absalom...

[MrSin]

I am no longer allowed to take a door off its hinges and keep it as loot.

[Mash]

MrSin wrote:

I am no longer allowed to take a door off its hinges and keep it as loot.

Why not?

Me not collect doors as loot. Me just keep heads of evry drag'n me ever kill. Got 'em stuffed and hung on m'wall at home.

[David H]

I am no longer allowed to put on sunglasses and say cheesy one-liners in The God's Market Gamble, My Enemy's Enemy, or other investigation scenarios.

There is no Style Feat "Monkey Steals the Peach".

Despite the potential business opportunities, I cannot petition to be the Venture-Captain of the 'Aspis Faction'.

I am barred from using a bag of holding as a portable urinal.

Despite what Munchkin says, there is no such thing as a +1 codpiece.

I am not allowed to give my porter coconuts, even if I do name him Patsy.

Even if there are minotaurs, there is no cow level.

My bird's bombard trick does not allow him to make fly-by poop strikes.

Cheese does not give me a bonus to Diplomacy against ratfolk.

I am not allowed to base my alchemist after "Breaking Bad". And even if I did, his Day Job check would be illegal.

My eidolon can no longer look like Darkwing Duck, Chewbacca, or a luck dragon.

My cleric of Pharasma cannot stare at others and creepily murmur "Sooooooon".

Despite the strange combination, I am not allowed to question Sheila Heidmarch's massive retraining costs.

[MrSin]

Mash wrote:

MrSin wrote:

I am no longer allowed to take a door off its hinges and keep it as loot.

Why not?

Me not collect doors as loot. Me just keep heads of evry drag'n me ever kill. Got 'em stuffed and hung on m'wall at home.

There was a time I knocked out a live dragon and put it into an extra-dimensional space as loot. I've just had a few GM's who have a problem with me "looting the encounter" or "Taking the encounter home as loot" or some variation of that. There's probably a long list of things I'm no longer allowed to loot tbh, including hijacked ships, npcs, puzzles, encounters, tables, beds, etc...

Edit: Walls. Can't forget about the walls I've stolen.

[Fromper]

Alexander_Damocles wrote:

Fromper wrote:

Speaking of Drandle Dreng, I'm still waiting for the old codger to finally keel over and die already. I can just picture his funeral as the basis for a scenario. Maybe he hid some valuable artifacts and you have to track them down by digging into the details of his back story. Kinda like the last two Harry Potter books, except that DD grew up to be more evil than Voldemort.

And then in the end, you find out that... ** spoiler omitted **

Write it up as an adventure idea and submit it. I'd *totally* play that one!

I was mostly just joking around, but is there actually a way to submit specific ideas to Paizo for stuff like this? Now you've got me thinking about how such a scenario would actually go, which is probably not what I should be spending my time thinking about right now.

[Fromper]

David Higaki wrote:

I am no longer allowed to put on sunglasses and say cheesy one-liners in The God's Market Gamble, My Enemy's Enemy, or other investigation scenarios.

There is no Style Feat "Monkey Steals the Peach".

Despite the potential business opportunities, I cannot petition to be the Venture-Captain of the 'Aspis Faction'.

I am barred from using a bag of holding as a portable urinal.

Despite what Munchkin says, there is no such thing as a +1 codpiece.

I am not allowed to give my porter coconuts, even if I do name him Patsy.

Even if there are minotaurs, there is no cow level.

My bird's bombard trick does not allow him to make fly-by poop strikes.

Cheese does not give me a bonus to Diplomacy against ratfolk.

I am not allowed to base my alchemist after "Breaking Bad". And even if I did, his Day Job check would be illegal.

My eidolon can no longer look like Darkwing Duck, Chewbacca, or a luck dragon.

My cleric of Pharasma cannot stare at others and creepily murmur "Sooooooon".

Despite the strange combination, I am not allowed to question Sheila Heidmarch's massive retraining costs.

Oddly, my group has actually done one of these things, and our GM let it work out in our favor. I'll leave you to guess which one.

[David H]

The bird and fly-by pooping.

That one came from my sister who keeps on forgetting about using her AC in battle so she declares that. She can never get her bird to aim right unless she commands it to hit a PC :P

[Fromper]

The one my group has actually done was bringing cheese along for a bonus to diplomacy with ratfolk. The GM decided to have fun playing it up. I'm not sure if we actually got a numeric bonus on the roll, though.

And I've never seen an eidolon that looks like Darkwing Duck, Chewbacca, or a luck dragon, but I have a friend with Derpy from My Little Pony as her eidolon. And yes, she actually has an MLP toy that's the right size to use as the mini in Pathfinder games.

[Kyrie Ebonblade]

Fromper wrote:

The one my group has actually done was bringing cheese along for a bonus to diplomacy with ratfolk. The GM decided to have fun playing it up. I'm not sure if we actually got a numeric bonus on the roll, though.

And I've never seen an eidolon that looks like Darkwing Duck, Chewbacca, or a luck dragon, but I have a friend with Derpy from My Little Pony as her eidolon. And yes, she actually has an MLP toy that's the right size to use as the mini in Pathfinder games.

Oh yes.. I have heard about her. She says things like 'Don't worry..he doesn't have a soul' and then makes the Eidolon do terrible things.

[UllarWarlord]

I am not allowed to let my animal companion brutally murder and partially eat an NPC's pet cat.

[Mystic Lemur]

I'm no longer allowed to accuse Drandle Dreng of being a lich to his face.

I'm no longer allowed to "accidentally" cast disrupt undead at Drandle Dreng.

I'm no longer allowed to curse in Celestial by talking like Ned Flanders.

I'm no longer allowed to use "stabilize" as a code word for coup de gras, nor am I allowed to offer to "stabilize" party members.

I will no longer ask if I can get my sneak attack dice with a catapult.

I will never again name my dragon blooded sorcerer Trogdor the Burninator.

I'm no longer allowed to ask the wildshaped druid to hold still while I fit her for an exotic saddle for my barbarian.

I'm no longer allowed to animate fallen party members by telling the player "You get to play as a zombie!"

[FanaticRat]

Fromper wrote:

The one my group has actually done was bringing cheese along for a bonus to diplomacy with ratfolk. The GM decided to have fun playing it up. I'm not sure if we actually got a numeric bonus on the roll, though.

And I've never seen an eidolon that looks like Darkwing Duck, Chewbacca, or a luck dragon, but I have a friend with Derpy from My Little Pony as her eidolon. And yes, she actually has an MLP toy that's the right size to use as the mini in Pathfinder games.

One person I play with regularly has an Eidolon named Nyx who is more or less Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon

If on the off chance I ever got to play an android or something, whenever she would be around the eidolon she would make a point of telling it "you are dangerous."

[David H]

I am no longer allowed to use a ring of spell storing with Shocking Grasp and turn it into a joy buzzer.

"Housekeeping! I come in!", is not an appropriate way to enter the room with the BBEG.

When asked for anesthesia for a Heal check, I am not allowed to hand the barbarian my +2 merciful greatclub.

Ghost salts and bath salts are two different things and it's wrong to convince the paladin otherwise.

I am not allowed to beguiling gift a monk with a vow of fasting a cheeseburger. Likewise, I am not allowed to tickle a monk with a vow of silence.

Even though the barbarian does it, my rogue cannot rage by simply yelling obscenities and trying to hit things a lot.

Aram Zey really doesn't want to listen to my theories on magic, more so since I'm Superstitious Barbarian.

I am not allowed to multi-class Fighter/Monk/Ranger for the sole purpose of seeing how many feats I can get.

I cannot make my Perception so high that I can get X-ray vision.

[Carrick]

Adamantine broom.

[Shaela]

I am no longer allowed to summon a dolphin to help a swimmer without checking my altitude.

Spoiler:

The dolphin got knocked unconscious on impact and drowned.

[Nani O. Pratt]

David Higaki wrote:

Terrible things that make my sides hurt

David...why have I never had you at one of my tables???

[Fromper]

What is it with people talking about summoning dolphins in places other than bodies of water? The summoning spells specifically say that you can only summon creatures to environments that can support them. As a GM, I'd say that's at least a bath tub sized body of water for a dolphin, but near the surface where it can get air easily.

[Hordshyrd]

Am not allowed to clack slurpee lids together coconut style while characters are walking...

...Violation brings penalty of transdimensional cow.

[thunderspirit]

Nani Pratt wrote:

David Higaki wrote:

Terrible things that make my sides hurt

David...why have I never had you at one of my tables???

What?!? No! Dibs on being David's next GM! ;-)

[David H]

Haven't been too far south in a long time; farthest was a trip to SC to see my wife at a business conference last year. Otherwise, it's Washington, Michigan, or New England for me :P

I believe I did see you at GenCon last year... if you are who I recall, you were quite vocal about not making it during Race for the Runecarved Key in a very inspiring soliloquy.

That being said, why haven't you visited the Black Hills of South Dakota? Lots of wide open spaces, buffalo, Mount Rushmore, and tourist traps galore!

[David H]

And back to topic!

I will not convince my friends to show up to the game with Bard Pitt, Bardley Cooper, Bard Rowe, and Bardley James.

Color Spray is not a good substitute for a light spell.

Despite how much the Paracountess would prefer it, I cannot use enlarge person on only certain parts of the body.

I am not allowed to petition the James' for a dogfolk race on the grounds that its discriminatory.

I am banned from having ranks in the following Professions:
-Loan Shark
-Game Show Host
-Bagger
-Playboy bunny
-Spiderman

I cannot use wish to become a Synthesist. Even in a home game.

There is no monk vow of buttkicking. Similarly, there is no oath of tactical retreating for paladins.

I cannot reskin my potions of rage as 'cans of whoopass'.

I take 1d4 slashing damage for trying to crush a 'can of whoopass' on my forehead.

My contagion spells do not inflict con crud.

I am not allowed to retire my character by taking capturing the party and selling them to the Aspis Consortium, even if I atone for it later.

My Paladin is not allowed to ask for an atonement every session.

I am not allowed to retrain my hit points to the max possible, even if it's for Frailleaf, the 5 Con elf.

An animal companion or mount cannot be smarter than my PC, even if it is legally possible.

Despite never encountering them before, all of my PC's must know that kitsune PCs are not lycanthropes. Similarly, I cannot test this by using silver weapons on them.

[Pontificor the Great]

I am suppossed to never say "Taste the rainbow mother B!#$@# !" When I color spray people that hurted me.

I am never not allowed to wander off, colorspray someone,leave them in an aqueous orb to drown, and not tell anyone.

I am not allowed to use my wand of vanish to sneak into orc arenas.

I am not allowed to colorspray teammates, I broked this one 5 times now. Oops, sowwies.

It is not hilarious to pit the last bad guy again after climbing out of the first pit when everyone is waiting to kill'em.

Greasing peoples weapons does not make me a better fightery type than you.

I should not eat cookies until I find out they are souless.

Sheila hidy-ho march is not fat for refusing to share her choc-o-late biscuit with me.

[Shroud]

I am no longer allowed to bypass the entire fight scene with an army of Giants by the judicious use of Floating Disk, Silence, Spider Climb and invisibility 10' radius to sneak the whole party past them in broad daylight.

[Tural Oathkeeper]

I am no longer aloud to pummel the BBEG unconscious for the sole purpose of dragging him all the way back to Absalom so our chicken sh** Venture Captain can do his own da** dirty work.

[FLite]

I look forward to being forbidden to summon swarms of mad, mischevious, flaming, distracting, nauseating, deafening, disarming, sundering monkeys.

I especially look forward to being forbidden to describe their antics in detail.

[Disk Elemental]

Alright, seeing as none of my players are active on the forums, I don't think they'll mind me posting this:

1. The Barbarian is no longer allowed to carry Alchemist Fires

2. By order of the Silver Crusade, the Barbarian is no longer allowed within 20 feet of any of the following: schools, orphanages, hospitals, or children under the age of 10.

3. If the Barbarian is within 20 feet of any of these things, while holding an Alchemist Fire, he is to be shot on sight.

4. The Wizard is not allowed to form an arcane bond with one of the Paracountess's dildoes.

5. There is no valid reason to mix acid, snake organs, and black powder into a drink, then start doing shots of it.

6. The Ranger's name is "Mara," not "Tard Wrangler."

7. Do not eat the sand. No, not even if you mix it into a paste first.

8. The Paladin is not allowed to pick fights with NPCs 10 levels higher than the party.

8a. Not even if they detect as strong evil.

These are mine:

1. Not allowed to abuse Speak with Animals and my absurd charisma to convince the Druid's animal companion to piss on the venture captain's leg. Again.

2. Not wearing pants is not an appropriate form of worship.

2a. Not even to Cayden Cailean.

2b. Possibly to Calistra

3. None of my characters are allowed to worship Calistra.

4. My Bardbarian is required to share his pavillion, if it'll save the rest of the party from freezing to death.

5. When intimidating someone, my Bardbarian is not allowed to "go upside their head."

6. "Pimp," is not a valid profession.

6a. Not even if he has the hat to match.

7. No matter what my Gunslinger says, the cumulative hangover probably won't kill him.

8. There is no such thing as a "Gnomish patron saint of berserking."

[andreww]

Fromper wrote:

A friend of mine almost broke the first part of Eyes of the Ten with the Antagonize feat. This is a very minor spoiler, so I won't even put it in spoiler tags, but basically an NPC shows up near the beginning of this double length scenario, casts the 10th level Summon Plot Device spell, and then teleports away before the party can engage him directly. Obviously, you're not supposed to run into him again until later. But my friend, the rules lawyer, insisted that he wouldn't be able to teleport away until one round after showing up and invoking the plot device (which is technically true), so her paladin with Antagonize and something like a +30 to use it almost broke the entire adventure by hitting him with it before he had time to leave.

This doesn't actually break the adventure and in fact EotT part 1 specifically discusses what changes if you do this.

[Artanthos]

I am no longer permitted to purchase alchemist fire by the barrel.

Knowledge: Engineering and 2000lbs of gunpowder will no longer clear a dungeon.

[The Fourth Horseman]

Artanthos wrote:

Knowledge: Engineering and 2000lbs of gunpowder will no longer clear a dungeon.

I know from personal experience that the opposite of this statement is true. ;)

[pH unbalanced]

No matter how much mousse I use, Prehensile Hair does not do piercing damage.

I am no longer allowed to use Prehensile Hair in a disarm, combat swipe, or coup-de-gras.

Especially if it's not head hair.

---

My Sorcerer is no longer allowed to use all her first level castings on Polypurpose Panacea.

Especially the hallucination version.

Or to Color Spray herself when she has insomnia.

---

Even if my character is a Calistrian, she is not allowed to give written critiques to other character's of their 'technique'.

Or suggest they put Skill Points in Perform: Kama Sutra.

Especially since that Perform may not be used for their Day Job.

[MrSin]

Its safe to say I'm no longer allowed to use any sort of magic or engineering to flood, blow up, or otherwise destroy the dungeon instead of actually go into it.

[General Spoon]

I am no longer allowed to kill Vermlek Clerics in the surprise round through AoO's.

I am no longer allowed to put a saddle on a huge zombie spider, and pass it off as an exotic pet in broad daylight as we march to the BBEG's house.

I am no longer allowed to kill surrendered cultists by biting their heads off, even if they are evil.

I am no longer allowed to successfully convince Glabrezu that we will release him if he doesn't kill somebody's animal companion, only to renege on the promise after the dumb mutt is safe.

I am no longer allowed to convince the Paladin that she should totally jump down to the BBEG, as I have Feather Fall; the BBEG always has Dispel Magic.

[Matthew Morris]

I'm no longer allowed to pronounce "Bored now" and slumber faction missions.

Despite having ran the scenario, I am not allowed to purchase scrolls of shrink item to use on petrified PCs.

I am not allowed to announce, after doing so, I have invented collectable miniatures gaming in Golarion.

I am not allwoed to goad the newbies into freeing the gnome.

I am not allowed to confuse the GM by playing a male character.*

I am not allowed to mock the venture captain.

Spoiler:

I'd been playing Ksenia for a while, and then played Mayim to lock her in a solid state. I then played a male character for the first time in a month or so, it caught people off guard.

[David H]

I am not allowed to throw a lit fuse grenade into a handy haversack just to see what it would do.

I am not allowed to have trap descriptions that require more than 1 page.

The password for my alarm spell cannot be the lyrics to any Top 40's pop song.

There is no summon Chuck Norris spell.

I cannot wish for a summon Chuck Norris spell.

I am not allowed to use silence just to force the party to be part of my mime retinue.

Despite seeing something similar on Mythbusters, I am not allowed to use plant growth and bamboo as an interrogation technique.

I am not allowed to create a PC based off of a character in Twilight just to have them die in a horrific fashion in the mission.

[Rerednaw]

I'm not allowed to:

Roll my eyes at another "put out the fire mission" and then summon Water Elementals to put them out.
Use Air Elementals at sea. Against pirates. (whirlwind, splash, repeat).
Slumber the boss during his monologue.
Slumber anyone engaged in active flight or on a ledge high up.
Use Grease on a BBEG's mega weapon and then use Unseen Servant/Mage Hand to take it away.
Color Spray the boss during his monologue.
Ray of Frost the boss while he's summoning.
Do anything other than pilot the boat for the entire scenario (you know which one).
Break the module by thinking outside the box.
Keep bad guys alive. Even when the VC/mission says to.
Use Infernal Healing on the unconscious paladin/cleric.
Solo encounters...and succeed.
Grease the floor in front of a mounted charging knight.
Grease the saddle of the same knight.
Grease the weapon of the same knight.

:)

[MrSin]

Charm person hex does not actually make other players like me.

[moon madness]

not allowed to get the original Miss Feathers marrage proposals from my players

Use fireball as a diplomacy aid,

have a npc child steal a PC Rogues money pouch,

get harpy's to do fly snatch attack's on PC's bow's or carry off the halfling

Fireball rooms full of paper accidentally burning faction missions