Your Skippy's List -or- Things You're No Longer Allowed To Do In PFS

[Azouth]

andreww wrote:

RainyDayNinja wrote:

Even if my weapon is Adamantine and we're not on a time limit, I'm not allowed to tunnel through the stone walls of the villain's lair to sneak up on him.

How exactly does tunnelling through a wall count as sneaking up on anyone who isn't deaf?

Oh yeah

[Dieben]

andreww wrote:

RainyDayNinja wrote:

Even if my weapon is Adamantine and we're not on a time limit, I'm not allowed to tunnel through the stone walls of the villain's lair to sneak up on him.

How exactly does tunnelling through a wall count as sneaking up on anyone who isn't deaf?

One Word: Silence.

[Dame Kerline]

my andoran gnome beastrider, Niznix and his triceratops is no longer allowed in heidmarchs office.
1. he always had his herald introduce him with---
"All please rise as his grace Overlord Niznix and his valiant stead grace you simple people with their presence!"
2. he always insists that Sheila provides a bowl of fine wine for his mount

[The Morphling]

Jason Hanlon wrote:

Tumskunde wrote:

I am no longer allowed to work with the GM and have the party find out I was the BBEG the whole time, and have me take over as the GM brings in the reoccurring villan to aid the party in the final battle.

This is awesome. That is all.

You should have seen the home-game version of Akasha. She was much more evil and obsessed with her fiendish heritage than her PFS incarnation, and when the players accidentally opened up a portal to hell and were cowering in fear, she goes "GERONIMOOOOOOOOO!" and leaps through just as it was closing (I had decided to leave the campaign for other reasons, and the timing was perfect). I built up stats for her (hyper-optimized magus that she is) with the Half-Fiend template applied to represent her increasing diabolic power, and the GM used her as the penultimate encounter for the campaign, having joined her pit fiend mother as her lieutenant. I'm told she killed two of them before they took her down. :3

[RtrnofdMax]

Dieben wrote:

andreww wrote:

RainyDayNinja wrote:

Even if my weapon is Adamantine and we're not on a time limit, I'm not allowed to tunnel through the stone walls of the villain's lair to sneak up on him.

How exactly does tunnelling through a wall count as sneaking up on anyone who isn't deaf?

One Word: Silence.

Maybe Zone of Silence. Silence doesn't last long enough.

[Janzbane]

MrSin wrote:

I am no longer allowed to play an intoxicated alchemist who mixes all his drinks with alcohol.

In a home game i made an NPC dwarf brewer named Alefell who did this. Hard cider was CLW, Stout was remove disease, etc. The 10 con Gnome got drunk trying to heal himself.

[RocMeAsmodeus]

I may not start a fight by accidentally shooting a flaming arrow at a tree and starting a forest fire.

I may not keep an evil animated doll that the party just defeated for use in a puppet show.

On that note, my skald does not get Perform (Puppetry) as a class skill.

When sent on a mission to Riddleport and the Venture-Captain asks, "Any questions?" I do not need to start off every single question with, "Riddle me this."

Kobolds do not greet one another by saying, "What's swaggin', dragon?"

I may not attempt to do impressions of the following actors' voices for Venture-Captains: Michael York for Drandle Dreng, John Rhys-Davies for Adril Hestram, Judi Dench for Hestia Themis, Arnold Schwarzenegger for Ambrus Valsin, or Tara Reid for Sheila Heidmarch. (How did I ever choose the last one?)

When the scenario calls for the villain to make "ridiculous demands" of the Pathfinders, these demands do not include having Sheila Heidmarch as his personal exotic dancer. (I have no idea how I am still allowed to GM for Pathfinder Society after all of my shenanigans.)

[pH unbalanced]

I am no longer allowed to refer to Irrisen as 'happy winter fun-land'.

I am no longer allowed to arrive at the mission briefing disguised as the local Venture-Captain.

Or the Paracountess.

[Drake Brimstone]

I am not allowed to show up at mission briefings disguised as a Balor.

[Janzbane]

I am not allowed to have the rogue go first down the dungeon corridor. even if his player is new and needs to learn things the hard way.

I am not allowed to have an AC of 16 as the front line fighter. even if parade armor fits my characters back story.

I am not allowed to kill Uori for being a jerk. Even if he is mad because i didnt give him that stupid cloak.

I am not allowed to hide loot from my allies.

i am not allowed to use a glaive as a diplomatic tool.

[Kalvit]

Coming soon (because I have yet to have a bard in PFS):

I am not allowed to belt out Three Dog Night songs for any Bardic Performances. No, not even "Let Me Serenade You" for Fascinate.

I am not allowed to belt out Queen songs for any Bardic Performances. Any attempt at "Bohemian Rhapsody" would be too much of a distraction for the whole group.

I am not allowed to clock any tone deaf individuals who choose to belt out a song for Bardic Performance. Just because I have perfect pitch and will thus eternally live with the memory of a bad performance does not mean I can punish someone for the horrible memory.

I am not allowed to suggest to any potentially tone deaf individuals who want to be Bards to consider interpretive dance in lieu of any musical performances. Unless the GM specifically tells me it's ok.

[RocMeAsmodeus]

I may not cut off the hand of the corpse of

Spoiler:

Grandmaster Torch's supposed lover

and use it to milk a favor out of him.

I may not choose a word in the intro text of a scenario to have all NPCs mispronounce and see how long it takes for the players to notice. (For example, saying "gala" as "guh-LAH" for all of The Disappeared.)

When asked by an Osirian mummy to sing a song of his people, I may not sing "Rock Me Amenopheus."

My warpriest of Shelyn may not sing "Rock Me Asmodeus" in a temple of Cayden Cailean, even if he is drunk and disguised as an Aspis agent.

I am not allowed to sing about being rocked by anyone whose name rhymes with Amadeus.

None of my characters are allowed to use their wayfinders as if they were police badges. (Some of my group members have hidden my wayfinder because of this.)

[Flutter]

Not allowed to using wild empathy on the Nagaji paladins mount so it will use handle animal on the nagaji paladin and give me THREE characters to control.

[Aziraya Zhwan]

My home group is no longer allowed to storm a castle until we ask to talk to the reigning lord first.

As a corollary, one person in particular is no longer allowed to seduce the royal inquisitor in the middle of a combat grapple after storming the castle became the obvious wrong course of action.

[The Morphling]

My paladin is no longer allowed to force-feed the villainous drug dealer his own product so he will be easier to Intimidate.

My wizard is no longer allowed to cast shrink item on a 15,000 lb. glass tank of concentrated holy water and have his invisible familiar drop it on a demon's head.

Ditto for a 24 cubic foot slab of granite.

My inquisitor is no longer allowed to use Antagonize on venture captains, or plot-related NPCs of any kind.

[Disk Elemental]

In the future, my Bardbarian should refrain from challenging plot-important NPCs to a duel.

[thaX]

I have been informed to not replace the venture captain giving the assignment at the beginning of the scenario with my new Venture Captain, Lemtwist Bratham Mallentwine Flannelfoot Smyth Olgen Jeebs Nathers Bingham the Third, when I GM.

Still, so much, want to do it anyway...

[lucky7]

No longer allowed to give "The Talk" to alien life forms.

[Auranix Suncaller]

I am no longer allowed to imply that sons of important nobles are screwing the local blacksmith, even if that DID make perfect sense. Nor am I allowed to suggest this to the FACE of said noble brat.

[Jade Brighteyes]

I am no longer allowed to spit loogies at my twin brother, even if he is a perfect target

I am no longer allowed to mix itching powder and camels, even if it DID work.

I am no longer allowed to use Celestial to say things about the hot tiefling chick's ass behind her back.

[Mystic_Snowfang]

One of my players is no longer allowed to leave goblins in close proximity to high strength glue. Even if it did make the mission easier with all the goblin prisioners glued together.

[pauljathome]

Auranix Suncaller wrote:

I am no longer allowed to imply that sons of important nobles are screwing the local blacksmith, even if that DID make perfect sense. Nor am I allowed to suggest this to the FACE of said noble brat.

You've just got to be more subtle in getting the suggestion across. Bluff checks to pass secret messages exists for a reason :-).

And I agree that was the totally obvious conclusion in that scenario.

[Mike Lindner]

Rushley son of Halum wrote:

When asking "what could possibly go wrong" the answer is always "treachery demons."

While fleeing from one combat, I am no longer allowed to run back to another room really quickly to grab some evidence we left behind. Although running from two combats at once certainly does make the day more exciting. Especially when triggering a third combat in the process.

[Daggid Ironbreaker]

I am not allowed to try to bribe city guards, even if the townsfolk regularly do so.

[Venture Captain Richard Dangle]

APPARENTLY, it's frowned upon to drown Aspis Consortium agents for the Glory of Hanspur.

I still don't see a problem, but whatever.

[Green Beard the Pirate]

I always liked this thread. Time for a revival.

I'm not allowed to ask Venture-Captain Calisro Benarry to marry me.

...again.

[Jasmine Wu]

That's because I asked her to marry me.

[MichaelCullen]

Not allowed to use UMD with Rings of Revelation. Thanks a lot errata ;)

[andreww]

MichaelCullen wrote:

Not allowed to use UMD with Rings of Revelation. Thanks a lot errata ;)

It makes my seeker oracle sad. Acting in surprise rounds automatically was really helpful on my lore oracle, alongside rolling three times for initiative.

[Wei Ji the Learner]

Wear an awesome 'funny' hat for better-balanced AC and maybe some fortification once a day.

Oh, wait... it could be once a day... for *one* day... ever.

[Gordano Kiblin]

I am no longer allowed to attempt to negotiate a communally profitable arrangement with ravenous undead.

[DM Livgin]

My int 7 rogue without any knowledge skills is not allowed to give tactical advice to any players foolish enough to listen to him. "It's a yeti! Charge into melee! They are skilled at throwing statues!"

My Archer is not allowed to experiment with two weapon fighting even if he has the dexterity for it and the skald is giving us that strength bonus I would not be able to use otherwise. "umm... These guys are tougher than they look... We are actually kinda wounded... Umm now would be a good time to actually join in the fight."

[Paradozen]

Not all of these are PFS

• May not cook the fighter in his sleep for saying bacon near my boar animal companion.
• Not even if the GM asks me to.
• May not spit black adder venom into turkey bacon and force feed the fighter...again
• The Paracountess does not need PC's to pay for "remove disease" wands
• May not call red sticky stuff "some of god's tears
• Even if it is in fact "some of god's tears"
• May not discuss Pathfinder Society Time Travel outside of the pathfinder society.
• May not use Pathfinder Society Time Travel to negate anything on this list
• May not cast harm on drendle drang because I thought he was undead.
• May not cast animate dead on his corpse to fix the mistake.
• May not lick anything in the blackrose museum
• May not lick anyone in the blackrose museum
• May not lick anything that is both something and someone in the blackrose museum.
• May not "lick first ask questions later"
• May not lick something I do not intend to eat
• Cannibalism is not welcome in a school environment.
• May not use bestow curse to make the venture captain seasick on her own boat
• Even if I ask politely
• Venture Captains are friends not food
• Halflings are friends not food
• May not successfully use bluff to convince others that I have really been aroden the whole time.

[Jessex]

Paradozen wrote:

May not successfully use bluff to convince others that I have really been aroden the whole time.[/list]

This one came in handy for me recently. Always remember what Ghostbusters taught us, "If someone asks if you are a god always say yes."

[Lerna]

Not allowed to mythic colorspray the GM's special tentacle monster before it gets to attack anyone. :-/ Especially when he has the mini for it.

[Flutter]

"No longer allowed to use handle animal to give Ambroise Valsin the "Down" command.

"Not allowed to remove a T rex from their place in the time stream

"Not allowed to refer to the 100 foot long fiendish centipede as "Fuzzykins"

"Not allowed to bellyrub said giant centipede to make the legs twitch within 20 feet of another party member

[Ryzoken]

I am forbidden from running any scenario in which Clockwork Soldier appear in any number.

I am likewise forbidden from running the first floor of Thornkeep, after the multiple near TPKs recorded.

I am prohibited from claiming that my bard with a southern twang accent hails from the little town of Mercy.

That bard is also not permitted to launch into spirited renditions of "Friends in Low Places" after entering subterranean locales.

It has been observed that I may have an addiction to Lyrakien Azata and thus may not select them for Improved Familiars more than 1 in every 3 eligible characters (down from 100% of eligible characters)

I am no longer permitted to Kinetic Blast unidentified corpses to check if they're really dead.

My Shelynite alchemist may not shoot random NPCs with dye arrows in an attempt at creating art.

My Shelynite alchemist may not shoot NPCs with dye arrows for the purpose of tracking migration patterns of <social class>

My Shelynite alchemist may not shoot NPCs with dye arrows in an attempt at making them prettier.

My Shelynite alchemist may not shoot NPCs with dye arrows barring specific tactical uses to be enumerated at time of briefing.

[thaX]

My character is never to utter the phrase "Oh, we can do it! What's the worst that can happen!!!"