>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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If you think that's bad, try searching for True Fact about the Ostrich Mating Dance.

"Ostrich, Ostrich my neck out for you!".

Dark Archive

Vanykrye wrote:
We've had over two weeks go by without anyone blaming Cosmo for obvious fault. Cosmo has been lazy, and I blame the lack of blame on Cosmo.

The lack of blame either means A) no one is able to connect Cosmo to the shenanigans he's instigating or B) no one survived to report them...


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captain yesterday wrote:

If you think that's bad, try searching for True Fact about the Ostrich Mating Dance.

"Ostrich, Ostrich my neck out for you!".

Cosmo made me do that to you. I'm sorry. I didn't want to, but I had no control over my phone or my fingers.


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The funny part is, I sent it to Crookshanks and she responded that she and her friends have already been singing it at school for a week.


captain yesterday wrote:
The funny part is, I sent it to Crookshanks and she responded that she and her friends have already been singing it at school for a week.

Odd, since Cosmo sent it to you by proxy only a few hours after it was uploaded.


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Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
The funny part is, I sent it to Crookshanks and she responded that she and her friends have already been singing it at school for a week.
Odd, since Cosmo sent it to you by proxy only a few hours after it was uploaded.

She and her friends are subscribed and it took me a couple of days before I listened to it.

And I should have said they've been singing it all week, not for a week.

My bad!


Ah, gotcha.


Set wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
We've had over two weeks go by without anyone blaming Cosmo for obvious fault. Cosmo has been lazy, and I blame the lack of blame on Cosmo.

The lack of blame either means A) no one is able to connect Cosmo to the shenanigans he's instigating or B) no one survived to report them...

Or C) no one was able to come here to blame Cosmo for a while.


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I was going to blame Cosmo for something, put it off until "later", got distracted, and forgot what it was.

I Blame Cosmo for my procrastination.


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I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.


fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

At home? at work? at school? some combination thereof?


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fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

I give you... FaWtL.

You're welcome.

EDIT: And now I look forward to Cosmo blaming ME for something! :-P


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I blame Cosmo that I may have just written the most evil pun I have ever evilly punned.


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NobodysHome wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

I give you... FaWtL.

You're welcome.

EDIT: And now I look forward to Cosmo blaming ME for something! :-P

Just make sure you read every page.


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NobodysHome wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

I give you... FaWtL.

You're welcome.

EDIT: And now I look forward to Cosmo blaming ME for something! :-P

I blame Cosmo that the link is to the sixth iteration and I like to start things from the beginning.


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fujisempai wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

I give you... FaWtL.

You're welcome.

EDIT: And now I look forward to Cosmo blaming ME for something! :-P

I blame Cosmo that the link is to the sixth iteration and I like to start things from the beginning.

You can always search for them, if you dare.


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I blame cosmo that the post office closes at 5 so I can't ask them where they put my paizo package that tracking says they delivered.


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I blame cosmo that my mailbox apparently has a secret package compartment that I didn't know about despite having lived at the same address for 5 years.


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I Blame Cosmo for the poor design of human teeth.


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fujisempai wrote:
I blame cosmo that my mailbox apparently has a secret package compartment that I didn't know about despite having lived at the same address for 5 years.

I blame Cosmo that the mimic we 'wampis installed at fujisempai's address took up method acting and now insists it instead is O'Possum's marsupial mailbox!!!


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I blame Cosmo that Zefrank1 couldn't be bothered to include possums or opossums in his magnum opus, True Facts About Marsupials.

EDIT: As with most of his videos, it may or may not be NSFW depending on your sensibilities and workplace. Another stupid aspect of life imposed on us by Cosmo.

Silver Crusade

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Damn you Cosmo and your penchant for phlebotomisty.

Went to donate blood yesterday, and the setup there is they have the main line split into two, one leading to the donation bag and other leading to vials they send off for testing, they fill up first. When they did the nurse got the heated scissors thing to seal the line.... AND SHE SEALED THE WRONG ONE.

And they couldn’t restick me since I already donated a certain amount >_<

Paizo Employee Director of Technology

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It turns I can blame Cosmo for most of my day to day problems in the office.


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It turns out I forgot to tell my daughter that she's getting a filling tomorrow, and the appointment is right about when school starts.

I can only imagine the sense of doom she feels when I give her a ride tomorrow and we turn left instead of right and she asks "where are we going?" To which I'll cheerfully reply "Disneyland!".

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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captain yesterday wrote:

It turns out I forgot to tell my daughter that she's getting a filling tomorrow, and the appointment is right about when school starts.

I can only imagine the sense of doom she feels when I give her a ride tomorrow and we turn left instead of right and she asks "where are we going?" To which I'll cheerfully reply "Disneyland!".

:)


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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

It turns out I forgot to tell my daughter that she's getting a filling tomorrow, and the appointment is right about when school starts.

I can only imagine the sense of doom she feels when I give her a ride tomorrow and we turn left instead of right and she asks "where are we going?" To which I'll cheerfully reply "Disneyland!".

:)

Jack Handy is my spirit guide.


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I Blame Cosmo that I dont have the energy to Blame Cosmo for everything he does anymore...*shakes fist weakly' "Cosmo."


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Cosmo why did you have to make the half hour reading session prior to going to sleep at 930 turn into staying up until 1AM reading?


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Cosmo,

My hatstand is broken.

What do you have to say for yourself?


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Limeylongears wrote:

Cosmo,

My hatstand is broken.

What do you have to say for yourself?

I blame Cosmo that you wear lead hats and have a styrofoam hatstand.


Only one metal 'hat'...


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Limeylongears wrote:

Cosmo,

My hatstand is broken.

What do you have to say for yourself?

*busily sweeping masses of beetle into a jar*

I Blame Cosmo that British Hatstand Weevils are so hard to corral.


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Cosmo's unparalleled influence at my company has had me working since 10pm last night, plus various hours yesterday and 17 hours on Wednesday into Thursday. And normal hours on Monday and Tuesday. I've been awake for over 30 hours now.

Cosmo. We really need to talk. I haven't slept more than 7 hours in total since Tuesday morning. This is going to end in madness.


Limeylongears wrote:
Only one metal 'hat'...

Oh, Cosmo gave you tinfoil too?!?


Tinfoil is never hung up on the hatstand. Who knows what enormities THEY will get up to if I take the cap off?!


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Limeylongears wrote:
Tinfoil is never hung up on the hatstand. Who knows what enormities THEY will get up to if I take the cap off?!

Cosmo knows.


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I blame Cosmo that if I had any superpower, I'm now almost certain I'd weaponize it for supervillainy.

I also blame Cosmo that this realization really doesn't bother me.

I also also blame Cosmo that Bowerick Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged set his goal waaaaaaaay too low.


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I blame Cosmo for the continued existence of cover letters as part of the hiring process.

Such a weird, archaic relic...


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I blame Cosmo for lookie-loos.

I just spent 15 minutes in a traffic jam northbound...
...because there'd been an accident southbound and everyone going northbound was slowing down to look.


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Drivers are idiots.


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Ed Reppert wrote:
Drivers are idiots.

I Blame Cosmo that drivers are idiots.


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I blame Cosmo that my right front tire keeps losing air and I've taken it to the tire place twice to try to fix it.


fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that my right front tire keeps losing air and I've taken it to the tire place twice to try to fix it.

Have you made a enemy recently...or know someone who is a annoying prankster?


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Selene Spires wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that my right front tire keeps losing air and I've taken it to the tire place twice to try to fix it.

Have you made a enemy recently...or know someone who is a annoying prankster?

Annoying prankster?!? Where?!?

*looks around fervently while hiding an air valve remover behind his back*

I Blame Cosmo that there aren't enough annoying pranksters to go around!


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Rei Ko wrote:
It turns I can blame Cosmo for most of my day to day problems in the office.

I blame Cosmo that no one gave Rei Ko the memo about this earlier.


Now the zip on the bag I carry my swords around in has gone.

First hatstand, then sword bag.

Will these indignities never end?!


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Limeylongears wrote:

Now the zip on the bag I carry my swords around in has gone.

First hatstand, then sword bag.

Will these indignities never end?!

*pulls magic 8-ball out of a completely-and-unabashedly-NOT-Limeylongears'-sword-bag*

Indications seem likely.

I Blame Cosmo that this is coming as anything resembling a surprise to Limeylongears.


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I blame Cosmo that my players started playing WoW during session 0 after two people finished their character sheets. Leading to some people not finishing their character sheets and me not getting any backstory from anyone but the two who finished first.


fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that my players started playing WoW during session 0 after two people finished their character sheets. Leading to some people not finishing their character sheets and me not getting any backstory from anyone but the two who finished first.

Sounds like quite a few of your players aren't that interested in playing in the first place.


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Souls At War wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that my players started playing WoW during session 0 after two people finished their character sheets. Leading to some people not finishing their character sheets and me not getting any backstory from anyone but the two who finished first.
Sounds like quite a few of your players aren't that interested in playing in the first place.

One of them really isn't, but they still want to do things with the group. To be a little fair it was 3ish hours into session 0 where part of it was teaching people how to use the community sheet on Roll20. It probably wouldn't have been an issue if the first 2 had moved to a different discord channel when they started playing WoW. unfortunately they didn't, and for that I blame Cosmo

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