>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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Readerbreeder wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I was unaware of freakish behavior on the boards...

not on the boards, but OF the boards.

Feros wrote:
I Blame Cosmo for the freakish behavior of the forum boards today. What's up with that?

I blame Cosmo the site bugs get wackier with every updates.


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Souls At War wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I was unaware of freakish behavior on the boards...
not on the boards, but OF the boards.

I blame Cosmo that I read that wrong... His bad!

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I blame cosmo for the TSA


I would blame Cosmo for [REDACTED], but politics is too evil even for him.


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I blame Cosmo that I keep watching the Full House of Moustaches video. It's unsettling, it's likely inflicting SAN damage/drain with every viewing, and yet I keep clicking replay.


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I blame Cosmo for Amby's excessive level of immersion in her live-action 'Call of Cosmlhu' game.


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I blame Cosmo that I accidentally made the very hungry stray kitty eat a fly.

For dinner last night, I made a pot of great northern beans & ham for Dad, and I made tuna salad for Mom. I saved the tuna juice, poured it into a little tray, and put it out for the hungry stray kitty when he wanders by. It has been raining off and on, so he didn't come by last night, and his tuna juice was still untouched this morning. When I left at noon to do my pet walking job, I noticed a big fat fly had landed it in and drowned. I was running late, and I didn't have time to fish Mr. Fly out before I left. When I got home, stray kitty had been by and lapped the tuna juice up... and Mr. Fly was gone too, so I guess hungry kitty got a little extra protein.


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Cosmo, it's raining. You've made your point. Please stop.

Dark Archive

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Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo, it's raining. You've made your point. Please stop.

Now I have a mental picture of Cosmo cackling like Klaw in Black Panther. "I made it rain!"

Which is Cosmo's fault, obviously.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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Set wrote:
a mental picture of Cosmo cackling like Klaw in Black Panther.

I love this.


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Cosmo. Dude. We need to talk. My company has other IT employees, and they're perfectly capable of doing work.

I'm not the only one you have to send to the Virginia office. Again. The only person in IT that travels more than me is the CIO.

I mean, we know you have considerable, if not unlimited, pull at my company, so can't you find someone else?

Please?

Silver Crusade

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I Blame Cosmo for... whatever that was last night.

Also hope you had fun ^w^


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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Rysky wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for... whatever that was last night.

Also hope you had fun ^w^

Is it kosher to Blame Cosmo for something which was actually somewhat his fault?

I Blame Cosmo for Rysky making me pose difficult ethical questions!


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Vanykrye wrote:

Cosmo. Dude. We need to talk. My company has other IT employees, and they're perfectly capable of doing work.

I'm not the only one you have to send to the Virginia office. Again. The only person in IT that travels more than me is the CIO.

I mean, we know you have considerable, if not unlimited, pull at my company, so can't you find someone else?

Please?

I blame Cosmo that Vany has not considered doing his IT duties while channeling Willem Defoe's Tars Tarkas:

Vany: {pats server rack} "You are ugly, but you are beautiful. And you fight like a Thark!"

Vany: {every 30 seconds:} "Vor... ginya. Vorginya!"

Vany: {gestures to surroundings} "But Vorginya fights for us! He will fight the Torquas in the south. The Warhoons in the north! And he will be called Dotar Sojat!"

That should stop you from being dispatched to that particular office.

And if that fails to work, start channeling Willem Dafoe's Norman Osborn.

Dark Archive

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Sir RicHunt Attenwampi wrote:
And if that fails to work, start channeling Willem Dafoe's Norman Osborn.

Pshaw. If you want to channel Willem Dafoe, go deep and channel Profion, from the D&D movie. You might get institutionalized, but hey, you'll never get sent off-site again!


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Sir RicHunt Attenwampi wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

Cosmo. Dude. We need to talk. My company has other IT employees, and they're perfectly capable of doing work.

I'm not the only one you have to send to the Virginia office. Again. The only person in IT that travels more than me is the CIO.

I mean, we know you have considerable, if not unlimited, pull at my company, so can't you find someone else?

Please?

I blame Cosmo that Vany has not considered doing his IT duties while channeling Willem Defoe's Tars Tarkas:

Vany: {pats server rack} "You are ugly, but you are beautiful. And you fight like a Thark!"

Vany: {every 30 seconds:} "Vor... ginya. Vorginya!"

Vany: {gestures to surroundings} "But Vorginya fights for us! He will fight the Torquas in the south. The Warhoons in the north! And he will be called Dotar Sojat!"

That should stop you from being dispatched to that particular office.

And if that fails to work, start channeling Willem Dafoe's Norman Osborn.

It might work, and if it doesn't, and the oxygen plant fails, at least Disney's 'John Carter' will rot, unremembered and unloved, on the dead canal bottoms of a decaying world.


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I blame Cosmo for hope, both for how fast it can infect you and for how soul-crushing it leaves you when it inevitably evaporates.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo for hope, both for how fast it can infect you and for how soul-crushing it leaves you when it inevitably evaporates.

[Syrio Forel] And there is only one thing we say to Hope: "Not today." [/Syrio Forel] {drags hope outside, starts beating it with shovel}


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As long as you're using a shovel anyway, I've got some destruction you can perform at my house...I'll even pay you. In real money, even. Not that Cosmo-branded stuff.


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Vanykrye wrote:

Cosmo. Dude. We need to talk. My company has other IT employees, and they're perfectly capable of doing work.

I'm not the only one you have to send to the Virginia office. Again. The only person in IT that travels more than me is the CIO.

I mean, we know you have considerable, if not unlimited, pull at my company, so can't you find someone else?

Please?

Cosmo, I don't care what everyone on the planet says about you, you're ok. You made the new guy go out to the Virginia office this time rather than me. We're cool.

Vany goes outside, checks the brake lines and lug nuts on his car, double checks underside for explosives.

We're cool.


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Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't


Limeylongears wrote:

Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't

Not anymore there aren't. Not live ones, at any rate. And I double-checked the spare tire well too.


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How important is our job site.

I had TWO mini bobcats on site to choose from.

Not wanting to play favorites I switched back and forth between them.


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Captain Yesterday, A Team wrote:

I had TWO mini bobcats on site to choose from.

Not wanting to play favorites I switched back and forth between them.

I blame Cosmo that this was how I immediately pictured it (with Bollywood robotic Yesterday).


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Captain Yesterday, A Team wrote:

I had TWO mini bobcats on site to choose from.

Not wanting to play favorites I switched back and forth between them.

I blame Cosmo that this was how I immediately pictured it (with Bollywood robotic Yesterday).

Cosmo, aren't you supposed to be blocking links like that? Get on it, man. I should not have been able to click that and scar my family for life. (I'm fine, of course, but my family is yelling at me.)


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Of course, because I had TWO mini bobcats on site, that means Bob Ross Captain had none.


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Also, I thought I posted that about the mini bobcats in FaWtL.

It's better this way.


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I blame Cosmo that people don't know where to blame Cosmo anymore.

Paizo Employee Sales Associate

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Limeylongears wrote:

Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't

OMG SPOILERS!


Cosmo wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't

OMG SPOILERS!

Your fault.


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Cosmo wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't

OMG SPOILERS!

1d4 ⇒ 2 goblin babies blame Cosmo that we are so confused. We thought the spoiler was a mime, not a clown, and the front air dam was a harlequin.

Also, 1d4 ⇒ 1 goblin babies also blame Cosmo that we couldn't figure out how to shoehorn a Pagliacci joke in here somewhere.


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There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date. Usually, this means I'll pick up a fresh gallon when the old one hits the expiration date.

I blame Cosmo that after I pick up a fresh gallon, I can't convince my dad to stop drinking the expired milk. I don't care that the expired milk doesn't taste off yet. The new milk is slowly ticking towards its future expiration date; while he's drinking expired milk now, there will be that much more milk left in the newer gallon when its expiration date arrives.

I also blame Cosmo that throwing out the expired milk makes Dad grumpy.

I also also blame Cosmo that Dad bypassing the fresh milk to drink expired milk drives me nuts.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date. Usually, this means I'll pick up a fresh gallon when the old one hits the expiration date.

I blame Cosmo that after I pick up a fresh gallon, I can't convince my dad to stop drinking the expired milk. I don't care that the expired milk doesn't taste off yet. The new milk is slowly ticking towards its future expiration date; while he's drinking expired milk now, there will be that much more milk left in the newer gallon when its expiration date arrives.

I also blame Cosmo that throwing out the expired milk makes Dad grumpy.

I also also blame Cosmo that Dad bypassing the fresh milk to drink expired milk drives me nuts.

Cosmo truly excels at the little things in life, doesn't he?


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date. Usually, this means I'll pick up a fresh gallon when the old one hits the expiration date.

I blame Cosmo that after I pick up a fresh gallon, I can't convince my dad to stop drinking the expired milk. I don't care that the expired milk doesn't taste off yet. The new milk is slowly ticking towards its future expiration date; while he's drinking expired milk now, there will be that much more milk left in the newer gallon when its expiration date arrives.

I also blame Cosmo that throwing out the expired milk makes Dad grumpy.

I also also blame Cosmo that Dad bypassing the fresh milk to drink expired milk drives me nuts.

I am of two minds about that. One is that we shouldn't be drinking expired anything. The other is that expiration dates are a LOT of guesswork, and once financial enticements make their way in, guessing goes out the window, and intentionally wrong dates that will enhance profits walk in through the front door.

Silver Crusade

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date. Usually, this means I'll pick up a fresh gallon when the old one hits the expiration date.

I blame Cosmo that after I pick up a fresh gallon, I can't convince my dad to stop drinking the expired milk. I don't care that the expired milk doesn't taste off yet. The new milk is slowly ticking towards its future expiration date; while he's drinking expired milk now, there will be that much more milk left in the newer gallon when its expiration date arrives.

I also blame Cosmo that throwing out the expired milk makes Dad grumpy.

I also also blame Cosmo that Dad bypassing the fresh milk to drink expired milk drives me nuts.

Expiration dates for milk vary greatly for the state/county they wind up in, even if they're from the same batch.

It's total bonkers. Cosmo would approve.

(I recommend going by smell)


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Rysky wrote:
(I recommend going by smell)

That's the thing though, Dad's taster* and sniffer aren't very keen anymore (his hearing is worse). It has to be pretty far along before he can detect it.

* Except for spicy heat. His taste buds are keen enough that he can detect spiciness in things that have no spiciness at all.


I have almost no sense of smell or taste.


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You almost had no nose.


Oh, this predates that, it's a trade-off for having good vision.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Cosmo truly excels at the little things in life, doesn't he?

I'm pretty sure that much of it has to do with me finding more and more things irritating as I get older.

I would blame Cosmo for that, but there is one thing worse than getting older. Best not to test the Hand of He Who Must Be Blamed.

However, I will blame Cosmo for my fear of testing Cosmo.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date...

I blame Cosmo that I have two teenage boys in the house so a gallon of milk doesn't last between my walking in the front door and starting to put the groceries away.

Expiration date? What's that?


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I blame Cosmo for my lack of motivation to clean my home before my Mom gets back from her trip from St. Peterberg, Russia.


Pathfinder LO Special Edition, Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, PF Special Edition Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber

Heh. When I was a kid, my mother had a woman come in every Thursday to clean the house. So every Wednesday Mom cleaned the house. After all, wouldn't want the cleaning lady to think we were slobs.


I don't recall Mom ever having a truly DIRTY house...but we did get a cleaning lady after my brothers and I were out of elementary school...

Dark Archive

Cosmo wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

Vany, you know there are six, maybe seven, live clowns in your car's trunk right now?

omg he doesn't

OMG SPOILERS!

Nah, like at least three of them have suffocated by now, so it's more like three or four live clowns by now...


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date. Usually, this means I'll pick up a fresh gallon when the old one hits the expiration date.

I blame Cosmo that after I pick up a fresh gallon, I can't convince my dad to stop drinking the expired milk. I don't care that the expired milk doesn't taste off yet. The new milk is slowly ticking towards its future expiration date; while he's drinking expired milk now, there will be that much more milk left in the newer gallon when its expiration date arrives.

I also blame Cosmo that throwing out the expired milk makes Dad grumpy.

I also also blame Cosmo that Dad bypassing the fresh milk to drink expired milk drives me nuts.

Why not get a smaller container of milk?


Ed Reppert wrote:
Heh. When I was a kid, my mother had a woman come in every Thursday to clean the house. So every Wednesday Mom cleaned the house. After all, wouldn't want the cleaning lady to think we were slobs.

We have a cleaning service come every other Wednesday, and every other Tuesday we make a mad dash to clean up some for them. If they can't get to the counter top, they won't clean it. They aren't expected to do the dishes, and it's not their fault we've let them pile up. The cat toys need to be out of the way so they can vacuum. Stuff like that. We'd have to pay way more than we can afford if we wanted them to do the full service thing.

It still feels a little silly to be cleaning for the cleaning service, but it's the nature of the beast. It's how Cosmo deemed it necessary.


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Feng Shui!? Why did it have to be feng shui!!


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Because you have lost the Mandate of Heaven.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
There's only three of us in the household, so we often can't finish a gallon of milk before the expiration date...

I blame Cosmo that I have two teenage boys in the house so a gallon of milk doesn't last between my walking in the front door and starting to put the groceries away.

Expiration date? What's that?

I remember puberty. Milk was so important I used to wake up solely to drink it, then go back go sleep.

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