>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<


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fujisempai wrote:
Souls At War wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that my players started playing WoW during session 0 after two people finished their character sheets. Leading to some people not finishing their character sheets and me not getting any backstory from anyone but the two who finished first.
Sounds like quite a few of your players aren't that interested in playing in the first place.
One of them really isn't, but they still want to do things with the group. To be a little fair it was 3ish hours into session 0 where part of it was teaching people how to use the community sheet on Roll20. It probably wouldn't have been an issue if the first 2 had moved to a different discord channel when they started playing WoW. unfortunately they didn't, and for that I blame Cosmo

I blame Cosmo for fujisempai not mentioning Discord earlier.


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OMC! What the Hells, Cosmo?! You deliberately arranged it so my commute today was non-stop lost drivers, outright idiots, and a!!holes the whole way.


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I blame Cosmo for persuading me that my hiking boots were suitable footwear for this morning's slushy conditions, being both waterproof and well gripped.

Neither of those things were true.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
OMC! What the Hells, Cosmo?! You deliberately arranged it so my commute today was non-stop lost drivers, outright idiots, and a!!holes the whole way.

*looks absolutely exhausted and covered in car exhaust*

I Blame Cosmo that we don't get paid overtime!


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On December 19th my car was t-boned in an intersection. I'm convinced Cosmo had a hand in this somehow, but I'm not going to lay direct blame at his feet for something like that. (I think it would cross the line from joking around to a little too serious. Like blaming Cosmo for pandemics.)

However.

The body shop still has my car.

First they said it was being delayed by parts coming from Germany.

Then they said it was delayed by specialty tools that were being shipped from Germany.

Cosmo, will you please stop screwing around and let them fix my car? It's just a freakin' VW Golf!


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I blame Cosmo that I screwed up placing a website order, and now one of the two items was processed as in-store pickup instead of home delivery... which defeats the whole Cos' damned purpose of ordering it online. Worse, since instead of just picking it up and checking out through a register, now I have to go to the front desk in store and interact with the human at the counter. Anxiety already ramping up... ARGH! Plus, traffic in that part of town is always terrible, and now the snowbirds are all over.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I screwed up placing a website order, and now one of the two items was processed as in-store pickup instead of home delivery... which defeats the whole Cos' damned purpose of ordering it online. Worse, since instead of just picking it up and checking out through a register, now I have to go to the front desk in store and interact with the human at the counter. Anxiety already ramping up... ARGH! Plus, traffic in that part of town is always terrible, and now the snowbirds are all over.

I blame Cosmo for stealing all today's spoons before 10am. Maybe tomorrow.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I screwed up placing a website order, and now one of the two items was processed as in-store pickup instead of home delivery... which defeats the whole Cos' damned purpose of ordering it online. Worse, since instead of just picking it up and checking out through a register, now I have to go to the front desk in store and interact with the human at the counter. Anxiety already ramping up... ARGH! Plus, traffic in that part of town is always terrible, and now the snowbirds are all over.
I blame Cosmo for stealing all today's spoons before 10am. Maybe tomorrow.

*hugs*

Spoons? I Blame Cosmo that I dont know what this means...

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I screwed up placing a website order, and now one of the two items was processed as in-store pickup instead of home delivery... which defeats the whole Cos' damned purpose of ordering it online. Worse, since instead of just picking it up and checking out through a register, now I have to go to the front desk in store and interact with the human at the counter. Anxiety already ramping up... ARGH! Plus, traffic in that part of town is always terrible, and now the snowbirds are all over.
I blame Cosmo for stealing all today's spoons before 10am. Maybe tomorrow.

*hugs*


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Selene Spires wrote:
Spoons? I Blame Cosmo that I dont know what this means...

Spoons are a metaphor for dealing with the stresses of the world, especially for people who have anxiety, depression, or other mental or emotional statuses that make such interactions even more difficult.

Each spoon represents a certain amount of capacity for dealing with stress or aggravation to your psyche. Each time you do so and navigate such a situation, you lose one (or sometimes more, if it's a bad one) spoon(s). Some days you have more spoons to work with than others, some days less.

When you're out, you're essentially mentally or emotionally at your limit for the day and need to withdraw from things that aggravate your psyche and thus cost you spoons until you can recharge, AKA get more spoons. Being unable to do so, or otherwise being forced to confront situations you don't have sufficient spoons on-hand to handle, can cause adverse reactions, such as hostility, breakdowns, panic attacks, etc. - the side effects of unmanaged or overextended stress.

Some people are capable of even going into "spoon debt" or "spoon credit" and spend spoons they don't yet have, at the cost of fewer spoons than normal at some point in the future.


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I blame Cosmo that Orthos made me learn something interesting today.


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Praise Cosmo! Blame Cosmo! For even in the shadow of His Fault is wisdom to be imparted!


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Orthos wrote:
Selene Spires wrote:
Spoons? I Blame Cosmo that I dont know what this means...

Spoons are a metaphor for dealing with the stresses of the world, especially for people who have anxiety, depression, or other mental or emotional statuses that make such interactions even more difficult.

Each spoon represents a certain amount of capacity for dealing with stress or aggravation to your psyche. Each time you do so and navigate such a situation, you lose one (or sometimes more, if it's a bad one) spoon(s). Some days you have more spoons to work with than others, some days less.

When you're out, you're essentially mentally or emotionally at your limit for the day and need to withdraw from things that aggravate your psyche and thus cost you spoons until you can recharge, AKA get more spoons. Being unable to do so, or otherwise being forced to confront situations you don't have sufficient spoons on-hand to handle, can cause adverse reactions, such as hostility, breakdowns, panic attacks, etc. - the side effects of unmanaged or overextended stress.

Some people are capable of even going into "spoon debt" or "spoon credit" and spend spoons they don't yet have, at the cost of fewer spoons than normal at some point in the future.

Ah...I have sporks not spoons...

Though I feel I give people spoons..

I Blame Cosmo Sporks are nor more common.

Dark Archive

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I blame Cosmo that I thought a spoon was just a spoon.


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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns Subscriber

I blame Cosmo for the spoons metaphor ever getting started. I've found that gamers understand the "spell slots" metaphor as an even better example.

Some days you've used all your higher level slots but you can still cast a few first level spells. Other days you use up all of the spell slots early and have wait until the next day to even attempt to cast anything.


I thought sporks were simply meant to confuse your food.

I had not heard the spoons concept before. Similar concepts, yes, just not in spoons.


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Vanykrye wrote:

I thought sporks were simply meant to confuse your food.

I had not heard the spoons concept before. Similar concepts, yes, just not in spoons.

I have heard about before, but my two friends who used it are just kinda selfish and lazy...

Not saying Ambrosia Slaad is selfish or lazy(I know personally they are not)...it makes sense if you have social anxiety. My friends just seem to use it as a excuse.

I Blame Cosmo that I and Ambrosia Slaad dont live close together so I can give them spoons...


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Selene Spires wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Selene Spires wrote:
Spoons? I Blame Cosmo that I dont know what this means...
Spoons are a metaphor for dealing with the stresses of the world, especially for people who have anxiety, depression, or other mental or emotional statuses that make such interactions even more difficult... [excellent explanation snipped for brevity]
Ah...I have sporks not spoons...

I blame Cosmo that Disney+ doesn't have an animated Selene co-starring in "Ask Sporky a Question".

CrystalSeas wrote:
I blame Cosmo for the spoons metaphor ever getting started. I've found that gamers understand the "spell slots" metaphor as an even better example.

I also blame Cosmo that I should have instead expressed my exhaustion in terms of (DSP) psionics and power points.

I also also blame Cosmo that, like cordyceps, Vancian spellcasting has taken over designers' and players' mindspace over the far superior power points system. #PsionicsIsntBroken #VanciansAreWorseAtNovaing #SomeoneIsCranky #HashtagsIrritateCaptainYesterday

Selene Spires wrote:
I Blame Cosmo that I and Ambrosia Slaad dont live close together so I can give them spoons...

I also also also blame Cosmo that we (and others here) don't live closer together.


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I blame Cosmo for the fact that, while we have sporks, we do not have tactical sporks


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Limeylongears wrote:
I blame Cosmo for the fact that, while we have sporks, we do not have tactical sporks

Here is an example of tactical sporks in action!

I Blame Cosmo that these hand-cranked runcible guns have not been issued to all gremlin forces yet!


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Master Pugwampi wrote:

Here is an example of tactical sporks in action!

I Blame Cosmo that these hand-cranked runcible guns have not been issued to all gremlin forces yet!

{pupils dilate three times larger than normal, begins drawing up plans for wyvern-carried underchin-mounted Gremlin Electric GAU-8 runcible cannon}


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame cosmo for my players not going to the rafters with pugwampis. Instead they just threw things at the pugwampis; nowhere near as fun...Except for throwing the gnome bard at them twice.

General Willfred Thermopolae Fucundibus Silliness, III

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Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:
{pupils dilate three times larger than normal, begins drawing up plans for wyvern-carried underchin-mounted Gremlin Electric GAU-8 runcible cannon}

I'm Cosmo, and I support this General Silliness.

Paizo Employee Malaise-Inducement Construct

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fujisempai wrote:
I blame cosmo for my players not going to the rafters with pugwampis. Instead they just threw things at the pugwampis; nowhere near as fun...Except for throwing the gnome bard at them twice.

Pugwampis have + 5 Stealth (at base) and enough Int to pair that with Invisibility Potions. It's also worth noting that Gnolls are immune to the unluck aura, and intelligent enough to procure and supply Pugwampis with these potions. And possibly even to train Pugwampis as rogues.

They can only react to Pugwampis if they know that they are there. :)

...just sayin'.


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Cosmo, you're still screwing around. I don't know what you're doing, but now parts for my car are on back order.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Dominos sent me a coupon for a free pizza that can only be redeemed for an online delivery order. Dominos won't deliver unless the bill comes to over $16. Why Cosmo?


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Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I Blame Cosmo for falling on ice this morning. I hurt all over.

I am so done with winter...

Dark Archive

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Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:

They can only react to Pugwampis if they know that they are there. :)

...just sayin'.

Foot tall Pugwampi. Waist high ground fog. Liberal sprinkling of caltrops, bear traps and difficult terrain.

Also animals are immune to the pugwampi unluck aura. So toss in some rapid bat swarms and blood sucking trained weasels, just to add injury to insult.

This is all Cosmo's fault for making me think of evil pugwampi encounters. :)


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Set wrote:
Cosmo's Slightly More Evil Twin wrote:

They can only react to Pugwampis if they know that they are there. :)

...just sayin'.

Foot tall Pugwampi. Waist high ground fog. Liberal sprinkling of caltrops, bear traps and difficult terrain.

Also animals are immune to the pugwampi unluck aura. So toss in some rapid bat swarms and blood sucking trained weasels, just to add injury to insult.

This is all Cosmo's fault for making me think of evil pugwampi encounters. :)

I blame Cosmo that that is more work than I am willing to put in to add to my legacy of fire campaign.

Dark Archive

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Set wrote:
Also animals are immune to the pugwampi unluck aura. So toss in some rapid bat swarms and blood sucking trained weasels, just to add injury to insult.

I blame Cosmo for making a 'rapid' template that perma-hastes an encounter, and replacing my intended 'rabid' template with it.


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Let's face it, only Cosmo could be so evil as to have invented autocorrect.

General Willfred Thermopolae Fucundibus Silliness, III

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Vanykrye wrote:
Let's face it, only Cosmo could be so evil as to have invented autocorrect.

Not invented. Improved!

Improved the duck out of it!


Not improved enough. If you're improving the duck out of something, it should be perma-basted, not perma-hasted.

You can't even be kind enough to give us a consistent improvement.

EDIT: Nobody wants to chase a perma-hasted duck around the kitchen.


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General Silliness wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Let's face it, only Cosmo could be so evil as to have invented autocorrect.

Not invented. Improved!

Improved the duck out of it!

I KNEW IT


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Vanykrye wrote:

Not improved enough. If you're improving the duck out of something, it should be perma-basted, not perma-hasted.

You can't even be kind enough to give us a consistent improvement.

EDIT: Nobody wants to chase a perma-hasted duck around the kitchen.

Since when is the Great and Ouch-erful Cosmo ever kind?


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Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Cosmo Cultist wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

Not improved enough. If you're improving the duck out of something, it should be perma-basted, not perma-hasted.

You can't even be kind enough to give us a consistent improvement.

EDIT: Nobody wants to chase a perma-hasted duck around the kitchen.

Since when is the Great and Ouch-erful Cosmo ever kind?

I Blame Cosmo that despite a MOUNTAIN of evidence on this thread, Vanykrye has failed to grasp this concept.


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It's called hope. I blame Cosmo for the existence of hope.


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Vanykrye wrote:
It's called hope. I blame Cosmo for the existence of hope.

The Inscrutable Cosmo giveth and the Unfathomable Cosmo taketh away; baned be the name of Cosmo!

Or something along those lines. If Pandora could have read the inscription on her jar before opening it, she would have recognized it and its contents as the work of Cosmo made manifest in this world.


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Vanykrye wrote:
It's called hope. I blame Cosmo for the existence of hope.

>_>

<_<

{quietly plonks quarters into jukebox, selects 7 consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song", then 1 play of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual"...}

>_>

<_<

{...and then 13 more consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song"}

Sczarni

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Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
It's called hope. I blame Cosmo for the existence of hope.

>_>

<_<

{quietly plonks quarters into jukebox, selects 7 consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song", then 1 play of Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual"...}

>_>

<_<

{...and then 13 more consecutive plays of Veggie Tales "Hope's Song"}

Yeeeeeeep.

Same s~+! as always.


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I blame Cosmo that Druids' "animal companion" options don't include Rust Monsters!


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I blame Cosmo that I just stress ate halfway through a box of mini choc chip cookies. Now I feel nauseous and yet still somehow crave more cookies.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

That's okay, I have to make myself eat when I'm stressed out.


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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I blame Cosmo that our politicians are heavily confused on what 'essential personnel' means.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame Cosmo that I can't figure out what jobs aren't essential from looking at the list of essentials.


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I blame Cosmo that, apparently, teachers aren't "essential personnel" for running a school. (I'm being bored out of my mind along with my kids, Cosmo!)

I also blame Cosmo that my kids aren't yet bored enough to be interested in starting an RP campaign together (not really their area of interest, though I think they'd enjoy it with an open mind [wouldn't anyone?]).


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I blame Cosmo for me letting my players free the kobold slaves from the drow. Now I have to think about encounters with 200~ kobolds in mind.


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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I just stress ate halfway through a box of mini choc chip cookies. Now I feel nauseous and yet still somehow crave more cookies.

I blame Cosmo that I almost came up with a nausea inducing reply to this.


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AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! Cos' damned price gougers!

Dark Archive

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captain yesterday wrote:
That's okay, I have to make myself eat when I'm stressed out.

I read this too fast and thought it was something about someone stress eating *themself.*

I blame Cosmo that senility is turning out to be kinda fun.

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