Thri-kreen

Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism's page

271 posts. Alias of captain yesterday.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

I'm on call right now. I'm about to throw my phone into the Illinois River. I might have sounded a bit...penile...by the end of this, but I've had it.

Me: IT, this is Vany.
User: Hi Vany!
Me: Hi.
Silence
User: What do you need from me?
Me: How about your name?
User: Oh! (Name)
Me: And what is the issue?
User: I need to log into my phone...
Me: And?
User: I don't know my extension or the password.
Me: ...I don't know it either...
User: (rudely) Well why not? Aren't you IT?! What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to log into my phone?!
Me: If you aren't able to remember your own phone number I suggest you talk to your supervisor.
*hang up on user*

This is the emergency line. It's meant for major outages, like entire departments or offices are down. They have been informed of this many, many times, yet they persist. Supervisors out of three offices just default to "call this number" rather than go through the right procedures. I'm absolutely done with waking up to my phone ringing at 2:30 in the morning because of a printer jam in Atlanta GA.

how polluted is this river? Would the phone climb out of the river as a sentient being wanting to serve you?

It's right in the name, the Illinois River, of course the phone is climbing out of the river an unholy abomination.


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Canada, huh.

Waits for apology for brothers subjecting him to entirely too much Bryan Adams music as a kid.


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See Dan run.


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I live every day like it's the top of the page.


I'm pretty sure we win in all three categories.


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It's the other parts of my body I'm told not to touch in public.


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There are almost no mosquitoes on the West Coast.


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I thought Philadelphia was known for throwing batteries at Santa Claus.


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Garfunkel and Oates are a national treasure.


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When did this become the rules questions place?


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NobodysHome wrote:
fujisempai wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I finally caught up to this thread and the overheard at the paizo office thread. Now I need to find some other way to procrastinate.

I give you... FaWtL.

You're welcome.

EDIT: And now I look forward to Cosmo blaming ME for something! :-P

Just make sure you read every page.


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The wuhan virus ain't nothin to f&%& with!


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Who said anything about virgins? This is why we don't like it when people invade us from Illinois during the summer.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
Woran wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Woran wrote:

Also, id never immigrate to the usa. Id lose so many freedom.

I know a lot of things happen at state level so one states evilness would not affect another. But the usa is pretty much a dumpster fire when seen from here.

but...you get me, Woran.

You get me.

Come to the netherlands. You'll get me and cheese :P
Or you could both move to Wisconsin. Then he could have you, cheese, snow, and bike trails.

Plus, we're the birthplace of modern rpgs, and I'm pretty sure Al Capone got syphilis in Wisconsin.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Cap'n Zoolander, FaWtLy Fashion wrote:
Can we at least talk about pants...
Brain the size of a planet and you want to talk about pants? Are you also going to send me on errands to open doors for people?

Is that going to be a problem?


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NobodysHome wrote:

So, this is the kind of thing that just incenses people about government waste, in spite of the fact that I've seen corporations do it too. (Because people have this weird idea that corporations don't waste hundreds of thousands of dollars on stupid projects.)

As I mentioned, in April they shut down our street to replace all the sewer lines. Annoying, but OK, it had to be done.

In June, they re-paved all the streets. Nice.

In August, the electric company came through and tore up significant sections of the brand new street. Eediots.

Now in December, the water company is back, replacing more pipes.

So, er... WHY did we have the road repaved if we knew (as we MUST have) that so much work was going to be done after the fact?

Grr....

(and jackhammers in my head)

And then you have Rockford, Illinois, which will put up cones and barriers, closing off sections of road for six months, not do s@&#, and then take it all down until next season.


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To the Cheese Haus!

Not to be confused with the Cheddar Haus or the Swiss Haus.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Why did you make me Google this?

Now Freehold will be insufferable for months.

I already checked.

The closest one to me is 3 hours away.

This will not stand.

I got curious. There are *none* in northern California.

L.A. has a bunch.

Come to Wisconsin we have it all!, abundant McRibs, AND Dairy Queen's with parking in the rear.


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Limeylongears wrote:

Captain and Vany, tell me, for I must know.

What shade of green is Green Bay?

Cold.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
I survived House on the Rock. Took 4 hours to tour the whole place. Afterwards we went out, checked into our exceptionally seedy motel, went out for dinner, quietly considered eating the money and getting a different hotel, realized I couldn't, went back to House on the Rock for The Dark Side tour...which turns the place into a haunted house, and it's a lot of fun.
how bad are we talking?

The kids were convinced we were not going to survive the night.

The problem is that a lot of southern Wisconsin, particularly the areas surrounding Madison, makes a killing off tourists. Hotel/motel rates are rather high by comparison to central IL. Hell, a Best Western in Dodgeville was running $140/night, and I wanted a separate room for the kids. Best Western in Lincoln, IL, runs about $60/night. About $100/night in Peoria.

So $111/night/room at the Karakahl Country Inn seemed like a relatively decent deal for the area, and I was wrong.

There are places I'd willingly stay in Berkeley that run $140/night. A rate like that outside of a major metropolis is BAD.

That's Wisconsin for ya! If the mosquitoes don't bleed you dry, the locals will.


If you lived in Wisconsin you could drink it straight from the cow's teet.


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Whingey Wizzard.


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The Vagrant Erudite wrote:
When you're the third largest city in the nation, that is not true.

You obviously haven't been to Chicago enough, it is in fact, nowhere.


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The more you know!


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Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

OK. I admit it. This is a "fun" tool to look at 2050/2100 sea levels...

we seem pretty okay on my end...

All we have to worry about are tornadoes and the Red Menace (Republicans).


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We're doing small jobs in the NW, SW, and NE corners of the county today, which means a lot of driving.


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It's International Kissing Day.

Now, that's a holiday I can get support!


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NobodysHome wrote:

Why Californians can't have fun.

Is it because they labeled coffee as a carcinogen.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Ah, summer in California! Nothing like waking up, heading outside, and smelling a massive grass fire somewhere in the distance.

What's curious is that I don't see it reported in the news yet. Must be a fresh one...

Ah, summer in Wisconsin! It's only 8:30 and it's already 80 degrees and you can smell someone using tar somewhere in the distance.

I must say, this does NOT sound like the fimbulwinterlund of my dreams.

What's next? No milkmaids?

That's what makes Wisconsin so magical in the summer, all the milkmaids shed their German skirts and busty tops for swimsuits, short shorts, and busty tank tops.

I'll take your word for it, as such attire is the ONLY good thing about summer.

That and the pool.

And the beach.

Fortunately, Wisconsin has more lakes then Minnesota and EVERYONE spends almost the whole summer at the lake, Wisconsin Dells (water parks, as far as the eye can see!) or the pool.


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Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Ah, summer in California! Nothing like waking up, heading outside, and smelling a massive grass fire somewhere in the distance.

What's curious is that I don't see it reported in the news yet. Must be a fresh one...

Ah, summer in Wisconsin! It's only 8:30 and it's already 80 degrees and you can smell someone using tar somewhere in the distance.

I must say, this does NOT sound like the fimbulwinterlund of my dreams.

What's next? No milkmaids?

That's what makes Wisconsin so magical in the summer, all the milkmaids shed their German skirts and busty tops for swimsuits, short shorts, and busty tank tops.


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lynora wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

We hit 90 yesterday, and will likely do so again today. And last night we had 1" hail (2.54cm) with 60mph (96kph) winds.

Welcome to the Midwest.

...should I be concerned for next week?
No. Why would you ask? This isn't abnormal.
...do you live in some kind of layer of the abyss where 90 degree heat, scorching winds and hail are a regular occurence?
......he already told you he's in the midwest? ;P

Even worse, he lives in Illinois.


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Vanykrye wrote:

So...

This might be a secret, but I'm going to say it anyway.

I hate incompetence.

I know. It's a flaw of mine. I need to learn to be more accepting.

Water is coming into our 1st floor suite from the HVAC units on the 3rd floor. Ceiling tiles falling in, people running around, punching themselves in the head, etc, etc, etc.

Again.

Yes. Again.

This is the second time in five years that we've been in this location that this has happened.

I'm also working with a skeleton crew today of myself as the only physical IT presence in this particular office. My other on-site guys were scheduled off, and everybody else works at our other offices.

I'm ready to work from home full time now. Please. Now. Thank you.

This won't happen after the zombie apocalypse, zombies are much more focused and less likely to leave to do battle with Sinbad.


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Guatemalan insanity peppers, harvested by prison inmates in the jungles of prime evil.


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Yuugasa wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Woran wrote:

*sits quietly in europe*

Naked of course, because, its europe.

I gotta visit you.

You guys have milkmaids, right?

What's with the milk maids by the way, what do you like about them?

Also, what is a milk maid?

A boxum woman, preferably wearing a corset and saucy skirt with a preference for cuddling on cold winter's nights and a weakness for fine beer and for having a face buried betwixt their breasts.


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The nice part of living in America's Bread Basket is veggies are plentiful and fairly inexpensive.

So we try to eat our veggies fresh.


gran rey de los mono wrote:
Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
But is horseshoes a sport?
No, but corn hole is.
No no no at best corn hole is an activity at worst a crime.
I believe the National Corn Hole Championship is held in Wisconsin.
Now if only they could organize a National Milk Maid Championship then Freehold would probably move there immediately.

Every county holds a competition for this very thing every year to see who parades around for June dairy month and then the fairs the whole rest of the summer.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
But is horseshoes a sport?
No, but corn hole is.
No no no at best corn hole is an activity at worst a crime.

I believe the National Corn Hole Championship is held in Wisconsin.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

Freehold...

Nobody in the Midwest walks unless they're in one of the bigger cities/towns. It's because otherwise there's absolutely nothing close by that you'd want to walk there and back.

Cap is an anomaly in these regards for the Midwest, but again, as he's pointed out, Madison is a bit different.

Even where I live...if I want to go to the grocery store for a jug of milk (because I am not going to pay $6 for it at the gas station 2 blocks away)...it's about a 5 mile round trip walk with most of that having to walk on the shoulder of the road - no sidewalks on the road I live on. I'm not saying I can't physically do that, but driving takes a lot less time out of my day, and I'm much more likely to do that as a much bigger errand on the way home from work rather than as a separate trip out with limited cargo capacity.

You said it yourself, everything is spread out here, and that's precisely why very few people walk anywhere as a basic mode of transportation. If they're walking, it's usually just for exercise with no destination in mind.

but you see that is what weirds me out.

There is so much to see by you. Glorious landscapes. Wonderful nature. Beautiful streams and the like. I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

But everyone would rather just drive past it. And worse, without sidewalks, those who do want to stretch their legs are targets for the cops. And then obesity skyrockets. It's just insane.

Then again, I didn't take my bike today because it was supposed to be horrific thunderstorms all day. We've got bad wind, yeah, but no thunderstorms so far...

In fairness, you're only a target for cops if you look like a hippie or aren't white.


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That's the Midwest for ya!


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Drejk wrote:
Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

I get to take [redacted] to a [redacted] in [redacted] which, as everyone knows, is a s@~+ hole.

Wish [redacted][redacted]!

So...you're going to Monroe?
As shocking as it may seem, there's more than one s~@* hole in Wisconsin.
Are you telling us that Wisconsin is not one big s...?!

You're confusing Wisconsin with Illinois, Iowa, Missouri, Michigan, and Minnesota again.


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Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

I get to take [redacted] to a [redacted] in [redacted] which, as everyone knows, is a s@~+ hole.

Wish [redacted][redacted]!

So...you're going to Monroe?

As shocking as it may seem, there's more than one s%@+ hole in Wisconsin.


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For my Florida Man challenge I get a couple of choices.

A guy that got arrested for jacking off at a strip club, or some douchebag that spent three months biting toddlers.

Yup, that's Florida, man.


I like Germany or Florida, wherein you find the most f@$+ed up headline and have someone guess if it happened in Germany or Florida.


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At night, from a distance, Monroe looks like it's rising from the pits of hell.


Yuugasa wrote:

There is kinda an interesting question in that show though, if you were transported to a fantasy world and had basically the power of a god and no real pressing business what would you do with it?

Might be a fun premise for an adventure sometime.

Get dysentery and die curled up in a ditch.

Godly powers or no godly powers eventually you have to drink the water.


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Tacticslion wrote:
Captain Yesterday's Phallacy wrote:

Oh! Trade with me!

It's ever so warm!

No. You, sir, are a liar. But I'm willing to halfsies - even things out and all.

I'll have you know, 45 degrees is considered very warm for this time of year.


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Whenever I see the parts with the shire I have to double check that the backyard isn't full of hobbits.


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Hopfully inn spauce yeve leaurnede graummmmitacalll countenance.


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CrystalSeas wrote:
Wisconsin police say a 34-year-old man who thought his wife damaged his action figures retaliated by taking an ax to the family's car, television and laptop in the house.

He doesn't represent us.


Woran wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Soooooo trying not to go full-blown nuclear political here, but...

...our housecleaner has not reappeared after she took her daughter down to visit her aging mother in El Salvador over Christmas break.

Yes, she's a U.S. citizen.

But she's also a brown-skinned woman with a heavy Spanish accent trying to return to the U.S. during a government shutdown caused by a battle over immigration by people from countries just like hers.

I am honestly quite worried for her; we're trying to get in contact with her now.

We're worried that my brother won't be able to get back from States for Chinese New Year if the airport workers are on strike.
We fly to minnesota in februari for Con of the North. We're getting antsy about it.

Wisconsin is next to Minnesota, just saying.

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