Official 2013 "Critique my item" thread


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

351 to 400 of 824 << first < prev | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | next > last >>
Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Thanks for running this thread and thanks for judging everyone.

Badge of the Ghost Pack
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight – (em-dash).
Description

The stag-faced figure on this small pewter pin stretches his arms over a pack of sleek hounds and a glittering sapphire. When first attached to a person’s hat or clothing, a distant baying echoes in the air.
Sleek hunting hounds unspool from a ball of sapphire light when the wearer designates a target. As a single creature a pack of 1d6+1 hounds of ghostly blue begin fluidly chasing their target. When the hounds catch their prey, they bite at his arms, tug at his legs and pile onto him. The target gains a -1 penalty to attack rolls for each hound. He moves at half speed and can not charge or run once the pack catch him. The hounds have an AC of 12, a move of 50 ft. and provoke attacks of opportunity for moving. Any successful attack dissipates one hound, leaving the pack to continue their ghostly chase.
During a chase scene option, the pack has a 10 modifier plus speed to navigate physical obstacles (+14 for a standard chase’s 30-foot-baseline). The pack uses the full round action to move three chase cards. Failing an obstacle causes one hound to dissipate, but does not stop the pack. Failing two obstacles on the same card dissipates two hounds and stops the pack. The pack does not get mired. Once caught, the target suffers a -1 penalty per hound to navigate obstacles and can dissipate them as above.

Activating the badge is a full round action. Hounds without a target dissipate one per round. Once the last hound dissipates the badge loses all magic.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, hostile levitation; Cost 2,500 gp

I will not be back to this thread for a while, but I will offer critiques when I do.

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Curaigh wrote:

Badge of the Ghost Pack

I liked the imagery a lot. It was more complicated than I preferred, though, and I didn't like the optional section. I'm not sure I understand the choice of hostile levitation, though; I would expect something like shadow conjuration.

Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Wasn't going to post this, since I was pretty sure it was missing the WOW! factor once I saw some of the other items, but I'm curious to know what the rest of you might think I could have added to push it higher up on the list. Thanks in advance for your input! :)

Surcoat of Accord
Aura faint enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot body; Price 6,000 gp; Weight 32 lbs.
Description
This sleeveless garment is often made from colorful fabrics and emblazoned with the coat of arms of its owner. It may be worn over armor and clothing.
Once per day, a person with the challenge class ability may designate one of his allies to share his challenge. For the duration of that challenge, the ally gains the same benefits and penalties against the target designated by the surcoat's wearer. Additionally, the surcoat functions in all ways as a banner for those characters with the banner class feature.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, aid, Cost 3,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Cthulhudrew wrote:
Surcoat of Accord

Except for being undercosted (the extra damage alone would be worth a lot of gold), I think it's great. However, it would be just a filler piece in a book of magic items. Perhaps increase the cost dramatically (up to the 50K range) and give it a cool, flavorful ability full of cinematic flair?

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

Thanks for the critique of my entry (fleshwarping unguent). Valid points all.

I agree, I severely mispriced the item. Given the addiction component and the limited duration of the item I think it should be in the 2,000 - 5,000 gp/dose range. Expensive, but not severely so.

I also think I would have reworked it without the addiction component. Maybe an increasing Will or Fortitude save or become sickened or nauseated? Maybe open it up to allow a list of extraordinary universal abilities beyond natural attacks? Though opening it up to a poison or disease abilities is a whole can of worms. Yeah I realize it is treads on "Swiss army knife" territory, but that is kind of what fleshwarping does. :/

The reason I went with the addiction quality is that I was imagining that using the unguent makes the user less and less able to resist the fleshwarper, eventually becoming a living mannequin for the fleshwarper.

Contributor

Someone please help me remove the love for my item that was blinding me from seeing the flaws. Thanks for all your critiques!

Farsight Stone
Aura faint divination; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 500 gp; Weight
Description
This translucent stone has a flat, perfectly smooth side and is often confused for a small gemstone. On its own, a farsight stone has no magical use. However, the stone may be magically attuned with another farsight stone. By holding two stones together as a full-round action, the stones create a magical two-way link with each other. A farsight stone may be attuned to any number of additional stones, creating multiple two-way links. The links persist as long as the stones are on the same plane.
By bringing the flat side of a stone up to the eye and concentrating as a standard action, the user may look out of any one of its linked stones. The receiving linked stone manifests an image of the user’s eye to represent the magic is in use. While looking through a stone in this manner, the user can pivot his vision as if he were using a telescope or an eyeglass, which in turns pivots the image of the user's eye. This allows the user to look at the full surroundings of the stone and examine the area as if searching for fine details with the Perception skill, modified as normal for conditions. No penalty is applied for distance. The user retains all mundane sight qualities such as darkvision, but not qualities granted by magical effects such as true seeing when looking through a stone.
Looking through a stone does not prevent it from being looked through via a linked stone. This allows two users to view each other simultaneously through a single pair of stones.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, sift; Cost 250 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6

My:

Dustkicker Boots

Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot feet; Price 8,500 gp
__________________________________________
Description
__________________________________________
These supple, rugged brown boots have a softer sole than most outdoor footwear, and always keep the wearer's feet warm and dry. They feature loops to hold the handles of hand-axes or sheathes for daggers. Prized by scoundrels of all types, the Dustkicker Boots grant a +2 competence bonus on Dirty Trick combat maneuvers, and three times per day the wearer may make a Dirty Trick combat maneuver at their highest base attack bonus against a prone opponent to cause blindness as a swift action without provoking an attack of opportunity. Furthermore, if the wearer has the Quick Dirty Trick feat, the wearer may use attacks other than their primary attack for their dirty trick during their turn.
__________________________________________________
Construction
__________________________________________________
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have the quick dirty trick feat, blindness-deafness, haste; Cost 4,250 gp

========

Does anyone know if I'm allowed to post my wife's Diagnostic Tonguedepressors, per her request, or does she need to sign on to do that herself?

Lantern Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 6

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Decided to post when Clark posted the Top 89. Hopefully all of us that didn't quite make it will post so we can collectively get a better sense of what gets you close, but not quite there and why.

Winter’s Clutch
Aura moderate evocation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A winter’s clutch is a small handbag made of leathered flesh and adorned with finely carved bones. The clutch must be filled with the bone meal of an intelligent humanoid creature to function.

As a standard action, the bearer may open the clutch and summon a howling blizzard. The storm immediately covers all surfaces in a 40-foot radius with ice and fills the air with heavy snow and severe wind to a height of 40 feet . The blizzard continues to spread another 10 feet per round until it has covered a 100-foot radius. The temperature in the affected area is treated as extreme cold and snow accumulates at a rate of two inches per round . The storm continues for one minute or until the clutch is closed.

While the storm is raging, the clutch extends the range of a witch’s hexes to the radius affected by the blizzard and increases the DC of her hexes by +2 for humanoid creatures of the same subtype as the bone meal she used to fill the bag. Creatures taking damage from spells she casts with the cold descriptor are entangled for a number of rounds equal to the spell’s level as though using the Rime Spell feat (Ultimate Magic).

The clutch may be used once per day and activation consumes the bone meal so it must be refilled before it can be used again.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Rime Spell, bestow curse, ice storm, sleet storm, creator must be a witch; Cost 20,000 gp

Self-Critique:

Why I think it made the Top 89
1. Followed format. I'm sure there might be a minor issue or two in there, but I think it was pretty close.
2. Hopefully seen as well-written
3. Cinematic
4. Pushed the mechanics in an original way (at least I hope it was original). Might have been a two-edged sword, but I haven't seen anything play with the 30 foot restriction on many witch hexes. That said, it is possible that I may have accidentally really mucked around with some balance issues.

Why I don't think it made the Top 32+4
1. Body parts. Even though in this case it fit canon, it is very clear this is a no-no area for the voters. I found myself voting down almost every item that involved blood and body parts. Staying far, far away from that in the future for contests.
2. More of an NPC item. Ideal for PC or NPC Winter Witch (maybe too ideal), some utility for other wintry characters. Now, I'll stick to my guns from an earlier debate and say that items that apply to every single character run a very high risk of becoming boring and safe, but I'll freely admit I might have gone too narrow here.

Things I'm not sure about
1. Name. I loved it. Was very worried right up to hitting submit that it came too close to violating the punny name "rules." I must have asked 5 or 6 family and friends if they thought it was ok. It probably was, but I still worried about it. Plus bag yuck. So many more evocative words. Like haversack...mmmmm.
2. Mechanics Part 1. Winter weather mechanics require you to dig out your CRB. Learned in the generic voter feedback threads that the less you make folks get out the rulebooks for obscure rules, the better. Probably had more of an impact on general voters than judges.
3. Mechanics Part 2. I really struggled with the area of effect. Doesn't help that it seems like every relevant spell is inconsistent and that Widen spell doesn't apply to the ones I wanted to use. So I made my own up that seemed reasonable, but that might have bothered some people.
4. Swiss Army Knife. Felt like I had a tight set of effects, but I really debated whether I was adding too many. The Rime spell effect in particular I went back and forth and back and forth on. And ultimately, I liked the play on words with clutch and went with it.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

CouncilofFools wrote:
Chelish Silver-Tongued Devil

Entry:

Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot head; Price 4,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This silver masquerade mask is adorned with black feathers rumored to be of erinyes origin. The wearer may make diplomacy checks to adjust the initial attitude of humanoids even if the target creature cannot understand her. If the target creature does understand the wearer, his attitude may be adjusted by more than two steps per the results of the diplomacy check.
Once per day, the wearer may attempt a touch attack as a standard action while grappled or kissing a creature within one size category of her. A successful touch attack ejects a viscous, silver substance from the wearer’s mouth into the target’s mouth and throat, occluding his airway and causing the target creature to begin suffocating (see Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook, page 445). A DC 20 heal check will dislodge the substance and a successful dispel magic will cause the silver substance to dissolve. Regardless, the substance dissolves 10 minutes after being created.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, charm person, web; Cost 2,000 gp

Sadly, anything relying on the social mechanics, which are notoriously abuseable (at least at my table, where we have LOTS of RP heavy interaction) got put on my list of things that were generally no-weighted. Shifting attitudes more than two steps can be downright abusive very very quickly. (Turning your hostile enemies friendly, and then getting favors out of them that could ruin their lives and make your encounters endlessly trivial with a few feats!? No thank you!)

I -liked- the silver ooze, and the writing was good, but the primary effect of the diplomacy bomb set me off sour.

This item was still better than -many- I saw during the competition, and I must have seen it a dozen times.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Herremann the Wise wrote:
Gentleman’s Ensnaring Cane

Entry:

Aura strong evocation; CL 13th
Slot —; Price 78,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description

A miniature animate imp of carefully sculpted detail and paranoid disposition forms the handle crowning this 3-foot long cane of exquisitely polished mithral. Typically accompanied by the imp’s energetic protests and gesticulations, the holder finds a gentleman’s ensnaring cane clammy to touch, surprisingly weighty to heft, and slick to hold.

As a standard action, the holder activates the cane by thrusting it into the ground, holding it pinned. Upon impact, flailing ribbons of visible force coruscate out from the cane, ensnaring up to four target creatures of Gargantuan size or less within 100 feet (Reflex DC 20 negates). Fine threads of force tightly harness ground-based, underwater, and airborne targets: seizing them just above ground, submerged, and aloft respectively. Ensnared targets can defend themselves normally but are dimensionally pinned as though affected by a dimensional anchor spell and cannot through means mundane or magical shift from their ensnared position.

As a free action immediately before each ensnared target’s turn, the holder may twist the cane magically repositioning the target in a clear straight line to any unoccupied position within 100 feet of the cane (possibly generating attacks of opportunity). Then during the ensnared target’s turn, the target may perform actions unhindered, except attempts at movement are nullified.

At the start of the holder’s next turn, or if the holder prematurely unpins the cane or fails to maintain contact, the cane absorbs the desperately objecting imp and ends all magical effects (possibly causing falling damage).

The holder can only activate a gentleman’s ensnaring cane while the unabsorbed imp remains atop. If absorbed, the indignant imp sullenly reforms atop the bare cane at midnight.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item,...

I gave a lot less weight to items in the 'I can never use this' catagory, ie: above 60k GP. That being said, I never saw this during the competition, and it's a fairly -neat- concept, turning a lot of unrelated effects (black tentacles, dimensional anchor) into a thematically neat whole. Plus bonus points for using the word 'corruscate'.

Value: 1.0 ('I can never afford this')
Writing: 8.5 (Easy to read, good use of English)
Concept: 7.0 (Not my favorite, but a good item)

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Clouds Without Water

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Page 4 items!

Fan, Dragonscale - Not a bad item. It needs more kick to reach the upper levels, but as is it's a perfectly fine book-of-items item. Burning Hands does seem like an odd spell choice for most of the types, though.

Hand wraps of Flesh and Stone - Description is a bit overdone in the background department. These seem on the surface to be pretty powerful, with the repeated dex damage or disenchantment. I get that it also affects the monk, and that seems to be a big part of the point, but I bet there's character build that can exploit it with a solid Fort save. Overall, the mechanics seem a little complicated to get to the Top 32.

Flask of Raging Waters - The visuals on this are great, but I'm not sure that what it actually does is enough. I think it needs a little more than a basic attack or basic AC bonus. Also, it's a little confusing in that it attacks "in the manner of a whip or tentacle", but then the stats are based on an unknown weapon with which the wielder is proficient. I get what you're saying there, but I bet there's a phrasing that allows for less ambiguity. Finally, who is the target user here? It seems like there are better options in most cases.

Gloves of the Confident Smith - Your concern about being too bland for superstar is probably correct. Also, why are they named and styled after blacksmiths when as written they apply to any skill? Also, any skill? That's a wide range of things that may not make thematic sense with gloves. It might be better to tone down the blacksmith connection and find an item that makes sense with a broader range of skills.

Dawnflower Ankh - There's a neat idea in here, but the mechanics seem off. I like the mini-oasis with endure elements idea. It generates a bathtub of water every hour, which isn't a huge amount, but could be troublesome in some locations. The extra damage to undead makes some thematic sense, but I think the extra healing is maybe a step too far. The main turnoff when I was voting was the bit about recharging in a very specific place. While there's another option, the specific place made it seem like a more unique, plot-specific item.

Paint of Discerning Demise - There were several items that let you find out how a corpse died. The problem is that there are low level spells that give the same info, so you get the SIAC syndrome. This particular item seems overpriced at 9100 gp for a single use of finding out how someone died.

Feybone of the Eternal Singularity - Hmm. So this will have the effect of pushing rolls towards the mean for one round. Natural 1s and natural 20s will become vanishingly rare for that round. I'm trying to figure out what the use case is. When would using this be the right strategy? It's an interesting idea if there's a use for it. Also, gate seems an odd choice for a spell. I get why given the description, but it still seems a little arbitrary given the actual effect.

Cloud of Gray - Neat idea and visual. Some mechanical questions- Gust Of Wind dissipates it, but what about other magical winds? Or natural winds? How high up does the effect go? Does it just start from just above head level?

Matryoshka of the Planar Cadre - I like the name, it's one of my favorites that I saw. Actually, I like the item itself. I don't know if it made the top 89, but it should have, it's easily in that league. I particularly like the giant and young creature templates touch. It's a simple thing that works well.

Mantle of The Flesh Bound Soul - It's got a powerful effect, but it's also taking up the chest slot. That's good, that means choices have to be made. It does seem like it may be too powerful in certain situations, with the immunity to "death effects, energy drain, and spells which separate the soul from the body". I almost think it might be a better item without those immunities.

Relativity Torc - On the one hand, this is basically a one sentence item. On the other, does it really need to be more? I liked this item since it provided an interesting tactical choice. I suspect there are ways to exploit it, but it does come with a reasonable cost. Mage's Lucubration seems like an off choice. I get the thinking, but it still doesn't seem to quite fit.

Sepllcycle Medallion - Sort of like Blink for seplls. (Heh, sorry.) It's a neat idea with some tactical use. I bet if it had been dressed up in a mojo-y package it would have had a shot.

Bracers of Daring Exploits - I liked these. They do what they say on the tin, they encourage daring exploits. Needs some showy packaging, and it would probably be better with limited uses per day.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Jacob Kellogg wrote:
Ghoulslayer Gloves

Entry:

Aura faint conjuration; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 5,000 gp; Weight
Description
Often inscribed with invectives against the necromancer Geb and his legacy, these silver-studded leather gloves can focus healing magic into crackling bolts of undead-slaying energy. Whenever the wearer casts a cure spell (any spell with "cure" in the name), she may target an undead creature within close range as if using the Reach Spell metamagic feat (Advanced Player's Guide 168). Undead creatures do not receive the normal Will save to halve the damage when affected by a cure spell enhanced by ghoulslayer gloves. Both gloves must be worn for the magic to be effective.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Reach Spell, cure light wounds; Cost 2,500 gp

I really like these. At ~1/2 the cost of a regular reach metamagic rod, they seem about right to me, too. I -might- have priced them more at the 8k end of things, but still very good. The only part I didn't like was slicing the save for half-damage off. Even the touch-range Cure spells allow a save for half damage when you hit an undead critter.

Value: 5.5 (a bit cheap for their function, maybe)
Writing: 8.0 (Good use of the language, no glaring errors, 'invectives'.)
Concept: 6.0 (SOLID magic item, I can use this in my campaign, no 'cool factor')

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Jerry Keyes wrote:


Ethos Swarm Charm

Entry:

Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 8,000 gp; Weight

Description
This small glass disk is gently convex on both sides and encircled in a thin, silver band. Suspended within the glass is a tiny insect or arachnid. When activated, the charm bearer and all his gear temporarily transforms into one of several swarms. The exact swarm type depends upon the charm bearer's alignment, as shown below:

Lawful good: Crab swarm (Bestiary)
Neutral good: Snake swarm (Bestiary 3)
Chaotic good: Monkey swarm (Bestiary 2)
Lawful neutral: Wasp swarm (Bestiary)
Neutral: Centipede swarm (Bestiary)
Chaotic neutral: Mosquito swarm (Bestiary 2)
Lawful evil: Cockroach swarm (Bestiary 2)
Neutral evil: Rat swarm (Bestiary)

While I -greatly- appreciated the D20PFSRD formatting, the idea of my PCs turning into swarms is moderately horrifying. It's not at all terrible, but is a bit of a rules nightmare.

Value: 3.0 (Seems vastly underpriced to me)
Writing: 5.0 (The formatting isn't excellent, and it takes up a LOT of space (which is at a premium in printed supplements!)
Concept: 5.0 (While turning into a swarm is 'cool', it is not 'kosher' in the game-balancing sense. Swarms are nasty to deal with for PCs, and mostly I don't want to wrestle with them at the table every session.)

Liberty's Edge

Vigilant Doorkeeper
Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 63,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This ornate, bronze, door knocker bears the image of a stoic guard hound with eyes made of brilliant pearl. When the handle gripped between the hound's teeth is used, its eyes flash an eerie pale light, capturing a static image of everything as it views it within a 120 foot cone. The vigilant doorkeeper perceives as a human in regard to lighting conditions. The captured image is then sent to up to ten creatures within the house upon which the item is attached, all of whom must be keyed to the doorkeeper. The doorkeeper only functions when attached to a door, and when at least one bound creature is within the building.

To become keyed to the doorkeper, creatures must either have been present at the time of the item's completion, or carry a small trinket (such as a badge) that was crafted with the item. The images are received mentally and remain for one full round before fading. Any creature receiving an image from the doorkeeper may then make a perception check, using their own modifiers, to notice particular details within the image that may not immediately be discernible. The doorkeeper cannot hold more than one image at a time. Each time the door knocker is used it sends a fresh image to those keyed to it, if it is able to do so. 
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, prying eyes; Cost 31,500 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6

verdigris wrote:
Porcine Pendant

Entry:

Aura faint illusion, faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot neck; Price 3,500 gp; Weight
Description
This whimsical, multi-hued crystal pendant in the shape of a pig spins at the end of a silver chain. Once per day, the wearer may disconnect the pig from the chain and toss it to the ground. Doing so transforms the pendant into a small fey-touched pig, covered in spots of pink, green and blue.
The pig waddles up to 20 feet away and begins to dance. For 1 minute, it frolics and spins, creating a pleasing blur pattern of color that fascinates those within 20 feet. Upon completion of the dance, humanoid viewers’ attitude towards the pig and its owner shifts 2 steps closer to friendly unless they succeed on a (DC14) Will save. In addition, the pig’s fey-touched charm allows the wearer to make a Diplomacy check at +5 to convince affected creatures to do things they would not otherwise do, as per the charm person spell.
The pig returns to pendant form one round after the completion of its fascinating dance feature and must be connected to the chain and worn around the neck for 24 hours before it may be used again.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, carry companion, hypnotic pattern, craft jewelry; Cost 1,750 gp

As I mentioned with the Silvertongue Devil, game mechanics that deal with attitudes are devastating, and have been at my table for some time. One of my players has a habit of -accidentally- breaking the game through his current set-up. The first was a Fey-Bloodline Enchanter-Specced Sorcer; the most recent is his Red Mantis Assassin. Fascinate -AND- automatic attitude change? Oh please no... Plus, the pig is a bit silly.

Why no Charm Person in the requisites?

Value: 1.0 (VASTLY underpriced)
Writing: 7.5 (Statement and formatting are perfectly clear.)
Concept: 3.0 (The pig is a bit silly, and the mechanical effects are -crushing- to gameplay at my table.)


Flyer777 wrote:
Perfect Tommy wrote:
Flyer777 wrote:

Relativity Torc

Could you clarify this for me?

Yeah I got interrupted in the writeup and conflated two windows. Let me try again.

Deathwine is one of my favorite spells. It allows a necromancy caster to convert a healing potion to a cl bonus. I use this spell as a basis necromancy builds. The spell has limitations - potion requirement; one school.

Compare to the torc:
You have the ability to use a move action and boost either a quickened action or a std action. Your item can be used to boost damage and replaces either an empower or maximize without a boost in spell level. It can be used to essentially guarantee success vs SR. It can essentially double the duration of spells.

And additionally it has use in things like targeted dispels, rays (like scorching ray etc). And it gives a wizard a way of converting low level spells into potentially useful things.

So your item is the equivalent of probably 2.5 feats.

Aesthetically, I didn't get the tie in to the name "relativity torc" nor really get the tie in to the metals.

Had the item been limited to one school; had it been limited in spell level, or times per day I would have considered the item more. Additionally, limitations could have been used to bring the torc down in price and make it more accessible.


kaineblade83 wrote:

Vigilant Doorkeeper

Great writing. Voted for this item. I understand how you got your pricing, but in terms of game effect, I think a significant discount is in order.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 aka Jiggy

Purplefixer wrote:
Jacob Kellogg wrote:
Ghoulslayer Gloves

** spoiler omitted **

I really like these. At ~1/2 the cost of a regular reach metamagic rod, they seem about right to me, too. I -might- have priced them more at the 8k end of things, but still very good. The only part I didn't like was slicing the save for half-damage off. Even the touch-range Cure spells allow a save for half damage when you hit an undead critter.

Value: 5.5 (a bit cheap for their function, maybe)
Writing: 8.0 (Good use of the language, no glaring errors, 'invectives'.)
Concept: 6.0 (SOLID magic item, I can use this in my campaign, no 'cool factor')

Thanks for the feedback!

Spoiler:
I must confess, I'm astonished at how many people seem to think the removal of the saving throw was too much/unbalanced/overpowered/etc. The math shows that even with these gloves, you'll still be outpaced in damage by other casters using blasting spells of the same level as whatever cure spell you use. (And that's to say nothing of the party's martial damage output.)

At 3rd level, a cleric can use these gloves to spend a second-level spell slot to make a ranged touch attack for 2d8+3 (average 12 damage), while his wizard buddy's scorching ray is working exactly the same and averaging 14 damage, without having had to spend thousands of gold.

At 5th level, a cleric can spend a third-level spell to deal 3d8+5 (average 17.5 damage). His wizard buddy can, at the same spell level, deal 5d6 damage (average 15) to every enemy in a 20ft radius or 120ft line. Sure there's a save for half, but it's against multiple targets and it's guaranteed damage, while the cleric only targets one enemy and could miss altogether. Oh, and when they level up? The cleric adds 1 damage, the wizard adds 1d6.

Someone upthread said a cure critical would deal 4d8+20 at 20th level, and that without a save for half, that would be overpowered. Really? Dealing average 36 damage (not counting chance of missing) against a single target at 20th level, at the cost of a 4th level spell is overpowered? The 20th level wizard can spend the same level spell slot on dragon breath and deal the same average damage. Again, it has a save for half, but it's an entire area and without the chance of outright missing. Meanwhile, these 20th level casters are comparing 3d8+15 (single target) to 10d6 (large area), 2d8+10 (single target) to 12d6 (up to three targets), and 1d8+5 (single target) to 5d4 (area).

So by my math, the Ghoulslayer Gloves' removal of the save for half damage merely gets the cleric (forget about 'lesser' cure classes) kind of approach the damage output of an arcane caster's blasting spells. At least, until said arcane caster actually devotes any sort of resources at all to being good at blasting, in which case we're right back to "zombies fear mages, not clerics".

But maybe my math's wrong? If anyone could explain where my reasoning went wrong, and show me why the removal of that save is unbalanced, that would be a great help. The lack of "wow"/"mojo" I totally get, and I really blew it on missing the "mass" cure spells. But on this whole saving throw issue, I just don't get where people are coming from. Thanks in advance for any enlightenment.

Star Voter Season 6

Clouds Without Water wrote:


Fan, Dragonscale - Not a bad item. It needs more kick to reach the upper levels, but as is it's a perfectly fine book-of-items item. Burning Hands does seem like an odd spell choice for most of the types, though.

Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to review.

I'm curious if you think I should have used a different spell requirement for each color fan. It seemed like a bit of an overly complicated idea to me, but I could be wrong. The effect I used was a modified form of Burning Hands, with different energy types and scaling damage. There was another spell in the pfsrd that I considered using called Dragon's Breath that had different energy type possibilities, but it was a 4th level spell, a much higher effect than I wanted to use on the fan, since I wanted the fan to be reusable and not exorbitantly expensive.

If anyone has suggestions on this, I'd love to hear. Many thanks! :)

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Zahir ibn Mahmoud ibn Jothan

Clouds Without Water wrote:


Page 4 items!

Dawnflower Ankh - There's a neat idea in here, but the mechanics seem off. I like the mini-oasis with endure elements idea. It generates a bathtub of water every hour, which isn't a huge amount, but could be troublesome in some locations. The extra damage to undead makes some thematic sense, but I think the extra healing is maybe a step too far. The main turnoff when I was voting was the bit about recharging in a very specific place. While there's another option, the specific place made it seem like a more unique, plot-specific item.

Clouds, I very much appreciate the critique, it's pretty much what I expected. Great for a Legacy of Fire campaign, but maybe not so thematic for others.


michaelane wrote:
Winter’s Clutch

Writing was *great*. I think the leathered flesh in combination to bone meal cost you a few votes, but not mine.

Occasionally, I had to vote against it for power balance reasons. Extending a witches hexes to 100 radius is very strong - especially increasing the dc by +2 as well.

Additionally, it applies the rime modifier to all spells without an increase in spell level.

Minor nitpicks: what happens to the snow at the end....?

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka Black Powder Chocobo

Thanks everyone for the feedback!

I know I was starting off with a SIAC, so I wanted to improve it beyond the normal spell abilities (lack of . As compared to Marvelous pigments which have a limited use, the brush would be completely reusable, albeit with the once a day limit. I went with Minor Image instead of other spells due to trying to keep it within the realms of a drawing; perhaps too limiting in scope and creativity a competition like this.

Outside of the minor formatting tweaks, it seems at least I came up with a good item, just not great. A good benchmark for next year indeed!

@Jiggy Yea, I came up with the idea after re-reading Gods and Magic for a potential PFS character and came across the short entry.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6 aka squidfeatures

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Just a note: I do plan on reviewing every item in this thread at some point, but I'm also trying to win some RPGsomething-something contest, so I may not be Mr. Johnny-on-the-Review.

Thanks for your patience.


Curaigh wrote:

Thanks for running this thread and thanks for judging everyone.

Badge of the Ghost Pack

Good writing. However, I do not vote for items that impose penalties without a save (or a to hit roll) by the victim. This item confers (potentially) -7 to hit, 1/2 speed and other limitations.

Item did not say how far away from wielder the pack forms.

Finally, 5k is pretty high for a one shot item (ie., not something I'll likely buy.).

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 aka Jiggy

Black Powder Chocobo wrote:
@Jiggy Yea, I came up with the idea after re-reading Gods and Magic for a potential PFS character and came across the short entry.

Huh? Was this a reply to something?

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6 aka squidfeatures

Jacob Kellogg wrote:


I must confess, I'm astonished at how many people seem to think the removal of the saving throw was too much/unbalanced/overpowered/etc. The math shows that even with these gloves, you'll still be outpaced in damage by other casters using blasting spells of the same level as whatever cure spell you use. (And that's to say nothing of the party's martial damage output.)

Yeah, the lack of saving throw seemed perfectly reasonable here, and to me a bit exciting.

Plus, who is really going to wear these at level 20? I think they do what they do really well at a good price.

I was daydreaming a bit about instead of caring about the word cure in the spell name, it instead cared about healing sub-type spells. You'd have to do some serious work dealing with restoration and true resurrection, but that seems like a pretty interesting problem to solve.

Marathon Voter Season 6

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Spoon of Swarm Sealing
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description

This twelve inch iron spoon with a wooden handle has spiders burnt into side. Some variant spoons detail flies or rodents. Used for melting wax for sealing scrolls and important letters, this magical spoon also acts as a strong deterrent for swarms.

Twice per day, it can conjure gobs of warm wax that spread in a 20’ cone. If used on a swarm the wax sticks to them, holding them in place for a seal to be applied by any large flat surface. Swarms affected can take damage from any melee bludgeoning weapons that cannot be finessed.

This wax does no damage and is harmless to tiny and larger creatures. Any fine or diminutive creature hit by the cone including swarms comprised of such creatures acts as if it is heavily encumbered. This item’s effects last for three rounds before the wax cools and becomes brittle. If all of a swarm’s squares are enveloped in the cone of effect, a Reflex DC 11 reduces encumbrance to medium and makes them take only half damage from bludgeoning weapons, otherwise the save is to negate.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane mark, grease; Cost 1,100 gp


proudgeek159 wrote:

Tears of the Fey

I voted for this item. Solid item, but I think it lacked the pizazz to get to top 32.

Woodengolem wrote:

Apparently I'm late to the party.

Clockwork Heart

Voted for this item. Good item. Good mechanic. This item was hurt I think by

a). Writing. Loose text that should have been tightened up.
b). Formatting.
c). Ick.
d). What is the target audience that will buy one?

Mark Aaron wrote:


Bowstring of Additional Might

I voted occasionally for this item, occasionally against.

On the plus - you identified a need - archers do have problems having the correct strength bows.

On the negative: archers really don't need any more boosting. Replicates the effect of adaptable strength. Which while an archer may not like it I think is more game balancing.

Aliga wrote:

Brooch of the dragons Hoard

Voted for the item. However, you have a small target audience (mages) made smaller by the price of the item.

Additionally, its not often that adventurers have to leave treasure behind.

So really, you're just allowing mages to have expensive material components for spells. And thats bookkeeping.


Pharazon wrote:

Gloves of Silent Echoes

Why would silent echoes care if it was a somatic component?

The ability to affect all magic items, scrolls, and spell trigger items is too strong.

In low to medium ranges, you are essentially negating any spell caster without a save.

And what happens for other sound based attacks.. item doesn't specify.

Shadow Lodge

Hag’s Tooth
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 7th
Slot face; Price 35,000 gp; Weight --
Description
This ugly, dark, hollow tooth looks like something that was thrown away with the garbage. When in fact, this tooth came from a sea hag. The smell will turn any stomach so before the user can wear it, they must make a DC 15 will save in order to be able to put the tooth into their mouth. Should the person fail the save, then you are sickened for ten rounds. Once worn, the user can then put the tooth on without having to make another save.

When worn for 12 hours over an existing tooth, the wearer can use speak with dead twice per day. When worn for 24 hours over an existing tooth, the wearer has the ability to cast the spells speak with dead twice per day, and command undead and animate dead once per day. The wearer of the Hag’s Tooth is affected as if she has Undead Master feat, Ultimate Magic. Thus, the caster’s level is considered four levels higher when considering the number of hit dice the user can animate. When casting command undead, the duration of the spell is doubled.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Undead Master Ultimate Magic, animate dead, command undead, speak with dead spells. Cost 17,500 gp


Odea wrote:


Scroll Scrying Goggles

Another +5 competence item.

On Use Magic device, one of the most powerful skills in the game.

Grants any class the ability to cast a spell up to 5th level. Sooo hand johny commoner goggles and a scroll...

Silver Crusade Star Voter Season 6

Mark Aaron wrote:

Firstly, my thanks to the gentlebeings both kind and dedicated enough to take time out of their lives to pass along their thoughts on our items. Now, on to the dissection!

Bowstring of Additional Might
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot –; Price 1,000 gp (+1), 4,000 gp (+2), 9,000 gp (+3), 16,000 gp (+4), 25,000 gp (+5); Weight
Description
This supple black cord replaces the existing bowstring of any magical composite bow. Once in place, the bowstring applies an additional strength rating to the bow, ranging from +1 to +5. This allows the bow's wielder to apply a Strength modifier greater than that of the bow's original crafting. Should the wielder's Strength bonus be less than the new strength rating of the bow, the wielder can no longer use it effectively and suffers a -2 penalty to attacks made with the weapon.

On a roll of a natural 1, there is a 5% chance that the bowstring snaps, rendering the string unusable until it is mended by a caster of equal or higher level than the item's creator.
Construction
Requirements
Craft Wondrous Item, bull's strength, crafter's caster level must be at least three times the bowstring's bonus, crafter must be proficient with a composite longbow or composite shortbow; Cost 500 gp (+1), 2,000 gp (+2), 4,500 gp (+3), 8,000 gp (+4), 12,500 gp (+5)

This is the first I've seen this item, though I saw other's comments first. I personally would NEVER purchase this item, and here's why. There is now in place the "Adaptive" weapon property, which for a flat 1000gp dials your composite bow up or down to match ANY strength rating, effectively. No breakage, no scaling costs (not even +1 effective enhancement cost). The Adaptive weapon property is in the Ultimate Equipment source book. So, definitely not creative OR superstar in my book since there is already something in the game that is both better and cheaper to solve the same problem.


Benjamin Medrano wrote:

Master Healer's Satchel

+5 competence bonus. My previous comments on how unoriginal and uninteresting that is still stand.

The writing is good, the value is ok. The area: clerics was underserved (so thats good). Healing is not so interesting. Name was good.

Honestly, it seemed as if the item should have done.. more.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Clouds Without Water

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Lady Firedove wrote:


I'm curious if you think I should have used a different spell requirement for each color fan. It seemed like a bit of an overly complicated idea to me, but I could be wrong. The effect I used was a modified form of Burning Hands, with different energy types and scaling damage. There was another spell in the pfsrd that I considered using called Dragon's Breath that had different energy type possibilities, but it was a 4th level spell, a much higher effect than I wanted to use on the fan, since I wanted the fan to be reusable and not exorbitantly expensive.

If anyone has suggestions on this, I'd love to hear. Many thanks! :)

Hmm. I see your reasoning there. Dragon's Breath might be the right spell in a practical sense, then dramatically lower the implied price since the item itself is only using one of the options, not all of them, and at a lower level. Part of that "art of pricing" leeway you get.


Brian Fruzen wrote:

Flute of Silver Winds

I absolutely *loved* this concept; thought it was top 10 in concept. To my eyes a concept that you could rework and apply again.

The issue, I think, is that you didn't make the ability cool.

Most, I think, don't know what impeded / enhanced traits do - and you didn't sell it to them.

I thought the ability to using the bards performances at the same time - too strong.

Jagged Cauldron

Simply put - why would I (an adventurer) buy this.
92K to let me make a few potions? And I'm down hp and con while I do?
Good writing, poor concept.

Farsight stone
Frankly, I didn't even read anything that seemed like a telescope, a walk talkie, or a fax machine.

If I wanted those things, I'd be playing papers & paychecks...

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9

Clouds, Garret, Jacob - thanks for the reviews!

I'm getting that my motive capacitor was too complicated. And I knew it too, I struggled with it's complexity the entire time. I think I was too in love with it to see beyond what I felt was cool to see just how complex it was.

As to the comment on it being too lovecraftian - that was a deliberate choice, and risk, that I took. It was very mad sciencey, wrapped in a container to look and act like magic. Clearly, it didn't help as much as I was hoping it would. ;)


Jason Schimmel wrote:

Rappelling Vambraces

Swing on ropes is cool.

Ranged trips and steals.. are cool.

Batman is cool

Batman's utility belt. Bleh.


Rhuun wrote:

Gloves of Life Siphoning

Never voted for this item. Draining 3d6 for 21k isn't very exciting.

Making me spend an action to heal someone else is worse.


Quote:
The Lonely Man’s Instant Party]

Sorry, I'm with Tom. Name of the item is an instant put-off. Flavor it for a fantasy world - "Thieve's distraction" and you would have done much, much better.

I read the item carefully and worked out the mechanical issues. But it required a second read.

But I did have other issues. The 'crowd' are phantasms. And while the idea of difficult terrain due to a crowd is fine - what if the user simply closed his eyes? You didn't give a good explanation for why the difficult terrain would persist. Why no will save?

Additionally, people usually provide soft cover - and your item provided "cover". This presumably is to hips - but concealment makes more sense.

However, simply on the name alone, I voted against this item every time.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka Aelryinth

Ziv Wities wrote:
Bob Drouin wrote:
The Pillars Dexter

I saw this item a couple of times; I recall not being enthused about it, though it was certainly solid and well-presented. While I never dug deep into it, two points really stuck out at me right away:

First, the pillars dexter is a very odd name. Since "pillars" is a much better-known word than dexter, I honestly expected some kind of magical pillars. Erp. Not the first impression you're aiming for.

Second, you start the item off by listing the four pillars. Immediately I find myself expecting a themed swiss-army knife, with a power for each pillar - and these four pillars are only a theme (AFAIK) because you've just declared they are.

That's an unfortunate first impression, I'm afraid. And, indeed, a quick skim looks like a long list of powers. Even worse, the "pillars" theme seems to have disappeared (maybe I'd see it if I spent thought on each power and how it relates?). You do have a theme, which is throwing dangerous stuff around! But I'm not seeing the connection to the pillars of universal arcane spellcasting. That's very confusing.

I think a dexter glove was a cool choice for an item based on all the alchemy options, but instead of choosing a focused effect, you kind of got scattered about.

Some smaller nitpicks:

  • You've consistantly italicized "dexter", e.g. "store items within the dexter". I'm pretty sure this is an error - magic item names are only italicized when you use the full proper name, like so: "The dexter of arcane pillars is a dexter glove. Wearing the dexter polymorphs the wearer into a televised serial killer."
  • You can refer to the person using the item as "the wearer" or "the user". It isn't necessary to say "A dexter wearer" over and over.
  • Your enumeration of alchemical items is phrased awkwardly: "(such as alchemist fire vials or thunderstones, and surprisingly including (un)holy water, but not poisons)". First of all,
...

Thanks for the feedback. MM, complexity does a good idea in again.

Oh, and you do have to italicize if you are using the proper name. If I'd use 'glove', no italicizing. The problem with using dexter vs glove, or hat & hat, as a contrast.

==Aelryinth

Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Perfect Tommy wrote:
Brian Fruzen wrote:

Flute of Silver Winds

Jagged Cauldron

Simply put - why would I (an adventurer) buy this.
92K to let me make a few potions? And I'm down hp and con while I do?
Good writing, poor concept.

Thank you for the critique. My main gripe with the idea was making it useful for adventuring as well, but it seems that I failed to do that. Thinking that I've got a novel concept at my hands, I ran with it (and also because I only found out about the contest in the first decade of December and was short on time). I hoped that the fact that I removed the need for a Brew potion feat, the price in gold, and the spending of a spell will balance out well, but the idea was flawed from the start.


Jacob W. Michaels wrote:

Sure. I'm not sure I'd say it works better as a weapon so much as I think it may be more of a weapon, if that distinction makes sense.

-snip-

Here's a similar thought -- if you had a magical haft or shaft, that gave a bonus of some sort to an axe/spear head that was attached to it, would that be a weapon or item. I think you could try to argue item, and if you presented it well you might get away with it, but I could see other people disagreeing. Or, what if you item hadn't been the string but was the bow itself. I guess at what point do you draw the line?

Thank you, sir! Now I see what you're saying and I agree. It sort of feels like a weapon crystal from old 3.5 now that you point it out to me. Something worthless when not attached to a weapon.

Eric Morris wrote:


This is the first I've seen this item, though I saw other's comments first. I personally would NEVER purchase this item, and here's why. There is now in place the "Adaptive" weapon property, which for a flat 1000gp dials your composite bow up or down to match ANY strength rating, effectively. No breakage, no scaling costs (not even +1 effective enhancement cost). The Adaptive weapon property is in the Ultimate Equipment source book. So, definitely not creative OR superstar in my book since there is already something in the game that is both better and cheaper to solve the same problem.

Aaaaand that's what I get for scouring only the wondrous items section of all the books. I suppose that, on the bright side, I am thrilled to see another of my groups' house rules/creations show up independently as canon within the works of Paizo. My thanks for pointing that out.

Star Voter Season 6

Sandals of the Wandering Sage
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot feet; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
These simple, well made sandals show signs of heavy wear. When the wearer succeeds on a knowledge check against a creature, they may further examine the creature as a standard action which does not provoke attacks of opportunity. After this brief period of study, the wearer may mimic that creature's behavior to gain any of the following abilities that the creature has:

burrow 30 feet, climb 90 feet, fly 90 feet (good maneuverability), swim 90 feet, jet, pounce, trample (2d6+10, DC 20)

These effects last for 5 minutes, plus an additional minute for every 5 points by which the wearer's roll exceeds the DC of the knowledge check. Once activated the sandals can not be used again until the wearer travels for at least 5 miles. The wearer does not need to travel this distance on foot, but extradimensional travel such as teleport does not count towards the total. Due to the nomadic nature of the sandals, they may only copy the abilities of an specific, individual creature once per week, though if the wearer encounters additional creatures of the same type they may copy the new creature's abilities as normal.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beast shape III; Cost 7,000 gp

Star Voter Season 6

kaineblade83 wrote:

Vigilant Doorkeeper

Spoiler:

Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 63,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This ornate, bronze, door knocker bears the image of a stoic guard hound with eyes made of brilliant pearl. When the handle gripped between the hound's teeth is used, its eyes flash an eerie pale light, capturing a static image of everything as it views it within a 120 foot cone. The vigilant doorkeeper perceives as a human in regard to lighting conditions. The captured image is then sent to up to ten creatures within the house upon which the item is attached, all of whom must be keyed to the doorkeeper. The doorkeeper only functions when attached to a door, and when at least one bound creature is within the building.

To become keyed to the doorkeper, creatures must either have been present at the time of the item's completion, or carry a small trinket (such as a badge) that was crafted with the item. The images are received mentally and remain for one full round before fading. Any creature receiving an image from the doorkeeper may then make a perception check, using their own modifiers, to notice particular details within the image that may not immediately be discernible. The doorkeeper cannot hold more than one image at a time. Each time the door knocker is used it sends a fresh image to those keyed to it, if it is able to do so. 
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, prying eyes; Cost 31,500 gp

The name doesn't impress me much here. It describes what the object does, but not what it is, which is rather important. In addition, the name itself doesn't sound cool, or pique my interest; rather it just reminds be of an old man watching people enter and leave a building.

As for what the item does, I can't think of a reason why any of my characters would want this item. Pathfinder is a game about adventuring, and the practicality of this item on an adventure seems very limited - especially when you look at the pricetag.

Star Voter Season 6

Oterisk wrote:

Spoon of Swarm Sealing

Spoiler:
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description

This twelve inch iron spoon with a wooden handle has spiders burnt into side. Some variant spoons detail flies or rodents. Used for melting wax for sealing scrolls and important letters, this magical spoon also acts as a strong deterrent for swarms.

Twice per day, it can conjure gobs of warm wax that spread in a 20’ cone. If used on a swarm the wax sticks to them, holding them in place for a seal to be applied by any large flat surface. Swarms affected can take damage from any melee bludgeoning weapons that cannot be finessed.

This wax does no damage and is harmless to tiny and larger creatures. Any fine or diminutive creature hit by the cone including swarms comprised of such creatures acts as if it is heavily encumbered. This item’s effects last for three rounds before the wax cools and becomes brittle. If all of a swarm’s squares are enveloped in the cone of effect, a Reflex DC 11 reduces encumbrance to medium and makes them take only half damage from bludgeoning weapons, otherwise the save is to negate.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane mark, grease; Cost 1,100 gp

Spoon of Swarm Sealing sounds rather silly. Also, it makes me really curious as to why you chose a spoon? I guess the melting part does make sense, but it takes a bit of reading to get to that part, but by then you've missed your chance to leave a great first impression.

I do like what the spoon itself does, and makes the item seem rather useful for a low-level party. However, the language used to describe it's effects isn't very clear or concise, so it takes some reading and re-reading to figure out what is going on. I would spend a lot of time in the future working on clarity.

Also, it REALLY helps to use existing game terminology; instead of 'heavily encumbered', state that the swarm is 'entangled'. Instead of 'melee bludgeoning weapons which cannot be finessed', simple state 'one-handed or larger bludgeoning weapons'.

Finally, a reflex save DC of 11 seems REALLY low... I guess it is the minimum save DC for grease, which you use as a requirement, but this isn't a scroll; when making a wondrous item, you need to think of practicality as well. Increasing the CL or save DC of a spell is OK if it makes your item work.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

Oterisk wrote:

Spoon of Swarm Sealing

Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 2,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description

This twelve inch iron spoon with a wooden handle has spiders burnt into side. Some variant spoons detail flies or rodents. Used for melting wax for sealing scrolls and important letters, this magical spoon also acts as a strong deterrent for swarms.

Twice per day, it can conjure gobs of warm wax that spread in a 20’ cone. If used on a swarm the wax sticks to them, holding them in place for a seal to be applied by any large flat surface. Swarms affected can take damage from any melee bludgeoning weapons that cannot be finessed.

This wax does no damage and is harmless to tiny and larger creatures. Any fine or diminutive creature hit by the cone including swarms comprised of such creatures acts as if it is heavily encumbered. This item’s effects last for three rounds before the wax cools and becomes brittle. If all of a swarm’s squares are enveloped in the cone of effect, a Reflex DC 11 reduces encumbrance to medium and makes them take only half damage from bludgeoning weapons, otherwise the save is to negate.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane mark, grease; Cost 1,100 gp

This was one of my favorite items during voting. It was maybe just a bit silly, but at the same time, for me it was just the right kind of silly, and it made sense to have an item used primarily for sealing wax to shoot molten wax that could disrupt a swarm. It also was the perfect price range for a low level anti-swarm item.

Silver Crusade Star Voter Season 6

Mark Aaron wrote:


Eric Morris wrote:


This is the first I've seen this item, though I saw other's comments first. I personally would NEVER purchase this item, and here's why. There is now in place the "Adaptive" weapon property, which for a flat 1000gp dials your composite bow up or down to match ANY strength rating, effectively. No breakage, no scaling costs (not even +1 effective enhancement cost). The Adaptive weapon property is in the Ultimate Equipment source book. So, definitely not creative OR superstar in my book since there is already something in the game that is both better and cheaper to solve the same problem.
Aaaaand that's what I get for scouring only the wondrous items section of all the books. I suppose that, on the bright side, I am thrilled to see another of my groups' house rules/creations show up independently as canon within the works of Paizo. My thanks for pointing that out.

No problem... after my archer character halfway through Eyes of the Ten was effectively neutralized by strength drain, I discovered that weapon property and purchased immediately for both of his bows. Personally, the flat 1000gp is underpriced in my opinion, but it's canon and I can't really complain.


Sean H wrote:
Sandals of the Wandering Sage

Quibble: The best abilities are burried at the end: pounce trample.

The people likely to use the boots are not likely to have knowledge scores.

Final thought: Never going to buy one. Better uses for boot slot. Little benefit for cost.

Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Isaac Duplechain wrote:
Except for being undercosted (the extra damage alone would be worth a lot of gold), I think it's great. However, it would be just a filler piece in a book of magic items. Perhaps increase the cost dramatically (up to the 50K range) and give it a cool, flavorful ability full of cinematic flair?

Thanks for the feedback. I hadn't even considered that it might be underpowered, but it's definitely something to look at. (I was mainly coming at it from the angle of a spell that seems suitable, but yeah, now that you mention it...)

I definitely needed a bit more oomph as far as flavor text or cinematic flair, though, and I suspect that's where I really needed to work on it. As you say, it would be one of those filler pieces that might be a good purchase, but isn't Superstar in and of itself.

351 to 400 of 824 << first < prev | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Archive / Paizo / RPG Superstar™ / General Discussion / Official 2013 "Critique my item" thread All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.