False factoids

[KahnyaGnorc]

Anius achieved Avatar-hood in Ultima 4 (Quest of the Avatar), then through a party in which the Talewise violated all 8 virtues enough in within 6 minutes the they lost the game and can never again have a virtual presence in Britannia.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc has a Swedish cousin named KahnyaBork.

[Molten Dragon]

IHIYC sometimes wears fancy hats while hiding in the closet.

[Ventnor]

Molten Dragon has a clone twin named Solid Dragon. No one knows who inherited the good genes, or how genetics works in general.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Ventnor's hoard includes a set of finely-crafted nutcracker dolls modeled after all the major players in this thread.

[Ventnor]

The IHIYC nutcracker doll is the most precious of all, because it is hidden inside a closet of solid gold.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

Ventnor was not born on this plane, but was in fact summoned from the depths of the abyss.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Aniuś the Talewise gargles with baking soda and vinegar.

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC is actually an ethereal creature that can only interact with the physical world via clothing hung in closets. How he got someone to set a computer up in a closet so he can type in this thread via pants legs is a mystery.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

Kahnyagnorc is also an ethereal creature, but no one knows exactly what dimensional realm spawned this enigmatic being.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon suffers from occasional coughing fits, and sometimes coughs up dried flowers.

[Helena Handbasket]

I'm Hiding In Your Closet can—in reality—only hide in wardrobes.

[Pulg]

Helena Handbasket got a Grammy for the best Byelorussian Polka Belching album of 1993

Great profile name, btw :)

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg can literally stick his feet in his mouth, and use them as duck whistles - alternatively, he can put both in and then roll down hills or steep streets like a lopsided coin.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

IHIYC's will has final arrangements for their body to be buried in a closet somewhere.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Anius is actually a Timelord, Federation Officer, Sith Lord, and Peackeeper, but not a Goa'uld.

[Ventnor]

KahnyaGnorc didn't know how to use the internet before today.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Ventnor is engaged in an ongoing legal battle with Aniuś the Talewise, claiming that Aniuś stole their golden headdress from his hoard.

[Helena Handbasket]

IHIYC draws spiritual sustenance from each false factoid we deliver. As this (unholy) thread grows larger, IHIYC grows more powerful, more insidious, and more likely to achieve apotheosis.

[Skiron]

Helena Handbasket and I once dueled over an abyss of otherworldly seething ices on a dread dark outer sphere - victory was millimeters from my grasp and I was about to deliver the fool to Yog-Sothoth, when a great luminous flying Basset hound swooped down and carried her away! CURSE YOU!!!

[Ventnor]

Skiron knows what the fox says. They keep that information secret because of pure spite.

[Skiron]

Ventnor gave me a few years of piano lessons, which I put to good use devising innovative and beautiful ways to drop them on people's heads! A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

[GoatToucher]

Once every six months Skiron poops a diamond the size of a baseball. He uses these to fund his diabolical efforts, but his anus has been ruined in the process.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

GoatToucher, out of pure 'benevolence', intends to help Skiron become fully healed and ready to make diamonds of even greater quality than before.

[KahnyaGnorc]

AoZK is jealous of Skiron's ability, as AoZK can only poop emeralds, or is that Emerils?

[Helena Handbasket]

KahnyaGnorc has 83 teeth.

..and only one is in his/her mouth.

...but that one is, like, two inches long, so there's that.

[GoatToucher]

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:

GoatToucher, out of pure 'benevolence', intends to help Skiron become fully healed and ready to make diamonds of even greater quality than before.

Actually, the plan is not to heal, but to allow the diamonds to pass through more readily, unobstructed by pesky sphincters.

HH has developed a handy tool that allows lower G-I tract enthusiasts to remove a sphincter with one deft motion.

I do not plan on using this tool, and will instead use a grappling hook and a frightened warhorse.

[Molten Dragon]

GT will frighten said warhorse by showing it one of his "training" videos.

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

Molten Dragon left his slag all over the floor of my workshop and did not clean it up! The manners of some people! Hmph!

[Belphegor]

Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis is too tight with his money to hire a cleaning crew.

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

Just because Belphegor is literally made of money (a truly remarkable composite of gold, copper, and green vellum, if I am not mistaken!), doesn't mean the rest of us are.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis is a descendant of the legendary Mughal emperor Abu'l-Fath Jalal ud-din Muhammad Akbar and his wife Mariam-uz-Zamani Begum. Apparently the kings of Canaan are also in his lineage.

[Molten Dragon]

Talewise gets their headdresses from, surprisingly, Kohl's department store.

[Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis]

Aniuś the Talewise suffers from constant harassment - and seasoning - by a giant floating salt shaker. By whose agency it acts, none may say.

For their considerable mass, Molten dragon can be astonishingly quick and stealthy when in liquid form!

[Pulg]

Tvashtri Abdul-Khasis rides into battle on a tiny badger. Sometimes the badger runs up his trouser leg and stays there for weeks, or at least until he poops out a series of King's Tears, Peridots and Cubic Zircona Encrusted Tweezers.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

Pulg is the last surviving member of the elusive species known as Manbearpig.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

Anius is responsible for the near complete extinction of said race.

[Ventnor]

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon occasionally forgets to wear his face.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

Ventnor is a master of rhyme possessed by Chaucer himself. Chaucer finds the sound of modern english strange and offputting, but workable.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote,
the droghte of March hath perced to the roote,
and bathed every veyne in swich licour,
of which vertu engendred is Aniuś the Talewise.

[Molten Dragon]

IHIYC sometimes speaketh with marbles in his mouth.

[KahnyaGnorc]

MD went to Medical School and is actually MD, M.D.

[Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM]

KahnyaGnorc flunked out of medical school after taking his first class on the first day. Something about a missing corpse.

[Ventnor]

Only one of Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM's doctorates is real. Which one it is has been debated by scholars for generations.

[lucky7]

Ventnor's favorite snack if Penguin a l'orange.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

lucky7 is in fact a 1500 year old lich, disguised in flesh.

[Sissyl]

Anius is actually lucky7's phylactery. Don't ask.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Sissyl uses her sinus cavity as a beer keg.

[Aniuś the Talewise]

A single lick from IHYC's tongue will either cure chronic nightmares or cause them--the effect is random.

[Little Skylark]

A single lick from IHYC's tongue is Anius' nightmare or daydream. Which one it is changes at random.