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IHIYC, while his antics may seem bizzare, is actually practicing the ancient art of closet hiding that goes back to the days of the Kings of Summaria.
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MD is an ancient creature who ate those kings.
Word on the street is that IHIYC possesses an ancient Summarian tablet depicting when man first touched a goat.
IHIYC is only hiding in his closet because he's scared to come out in case he catches sight of that tablet again.
Long ago Pulg, known then as Pulgawicz Persimmon McGee, knew the tablet existed and the terrible knowledge it could impart and changed his name to how it is today.
Molten Dragon is actually secretly very curious as to the artwork on the tablet.
It was thought that Goddity was the one who carved the tablet. Then came the plagiarism scandal.
Ventnor once possessed the tablet, until I surgically removed it from... some place.
Old Doc Flumph has come from the Great Beyond to warn us all about the Tablet.
IHIYC framed me for making the tablet, and then to completely slam my reputation, he framed me for plagiarizing it.
Goddity managed to counter-frame IHIYC for plagiarism. The amount of paperwork these two suits created collapsed in on itself, creating a black hole which sucked the tablet inside of it.
AoZ-K gave me the original Tablet, and it hangs on the wall over my divan.
Gaius Goatus Toucherus Caesar, Emperor of Des Moines, has just built himself a vomitorium, conveniently situated next to his workroom
Pulg's vomitorium is in his workroom.
Goddity wanted to build a vomitorium but didn't have enough funds to commission one.
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People say that Rome wasn't built in a day. They're liars, because it was, and IHIYC was the architect.
All roads lead directly away from Rome and towards KahnyaGnorc's Cosmic Underwear Forge, home of 'Pimp My Thong'
In a long-forgotten age, Avatar of Zon-Kuthon sold his ability to grow hair to the things that lurk behind the dark in exchange for power.
For extra cash, Ventnor will rent himself out as a pinata for children's parties. One time he did it when he didn't feel so good and let's just say it wasn't candy that came out of him.
MD ensured ventnor did not enjoy his time as a pinata, because he gave all the children at that birthday party spiked clubs. They call the stuff that came out of Ventnor blood, the kiddies did not enjoy that either.
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IHIYC somehow bleeds tiny closets if you beat him with a giant spiked club.
When beaten with a spiked club, Goddity bleeds smaller, spikier clubs.
Ventnor can take bludgeoning and puncturing wounds like a champ, but since he really is an ooze, any sort of cutting damage will split him into more Ventnors.
Sissyl regenerates all damage unless she's doused in Cheetos flavoured liqueur and dressed in a dirndl.
Pulg regenerates wounds only when covered in GoatToucher brand Rump Ointment.
equinoxmaster is the nation's leading authority on Rump Ointment patent law.
GoatToucher has recently succeeded in combining GT's Rump Ointment and Axe body spray, thus developing a substance guaranteed to repel anyone and anything.
Except Kym Kardashian, of course, which is why I've just bought a dozen bottles!
For reason's not immediately apparent, Pulg recently made the largest single purchase to date of GoatToucher Brand Rump Ointment: Founder's Select. He likely has a great deal of surface to cover.
GoatToucher evidently hasn't noticed me sneaking up behind him.
Statler and Waldorf are enjoying their retirement.
Ventnor is bitter that he has another 4 more years to go before his retirement.
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Goddity was killed with one week left until retirement.
:attendant enters, whispers in GT's ear:
What? Still alive?
:to audience"
One moment please.
:produces hammer and chisel, walks offstage:
:CHINK! CHINK! CRUNCH! SQUELCH!:
:returns to stage, covered in blood:
Just one week. It's a shame.
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GoatToucher used to be an animal cop, but with one week before retirement, he was almost killed by a rabid squirrel. The resulting trauma turned him from GoatSaver into the disturbed entity we have come to know as GoatToucher. The settlement money from that squirrel case also paid for the "work room" and directly lead to the invention of GoatToucher Brand Rump Ointment.