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Hold on. If *those* are the eggs, what, precisely, have I been squatting on?
Might be easier to answer: What have you not been squatting on.
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*Studies the eggs that Comte de Malodor has been squatting on (from a safe distance).*
It would appear that those eggs, are GoatToucher brand demon kender eggs.
Clearly, your mother needs a more reliable supply of soldiers.
And before anyone asks, the monster eggs have duplicates.
The original set is mine, the first batch of duplicates goes/has gone to GoatToucher.
Which leaves the second batch of duplicates going to everyone else.
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Puts the egg in the magic incubator to keep it warm.
Demon kender eggs? Great! Same calibre as halflings, but far more annoying to the enemy.
On the subject of Kender, there is only one thing to consider: The flavor.
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*Out on the pitch, the referee blows the whistle.*
And that's the game! The Norsca Rampagers have beaten the High Seas Surfriders, 150-70!
Truly a close match, but wait, we still have one final game from the major league.
We've once again got some Lizardmen, only this time they are being lead directly by their wise, Jabba the hut looking, frog/toad masters: the Slann! And they will take on a team of Halflings (before getting taken by Comte de Malodor for the Blood War). As we have The Lightfoots vs Lustria Croakers!
25 on the Lightfoots.
Did somebody ask for a Light Toot?
Now! It’s time to say. Beans!
Did somebody ask for a Light Toot?
...
:PHOOMPH:
Similar to a small apartment, i.e. a little flat.
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Careful Boss.
That almost hit the delivery man with your order of GoatToucher Soap.
No longer woozy, but only at 60%.
gulp
Refreshing!
*Plays the sprightly, rhythmic 'Dance Of The Eggs'*
*Dances the sprightly, rhythmic ‘Dance Of the Eggs’. Inadvertently breaks some eggs in the process.*
Never heard the saying? You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs.
How true. You can't make a crab & rhubarb omelette without rhubarbing a few crabs, either.
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*Descends to the ground (by way of a tractor beam), along with two large crates.*
Greetings Pulg, I have learnt of your predicament and have come to help.
*Uses a handheld device to move the crates, placing them in front of Pulg.*
In one crate, a million eggs and in the other specially made rhubarb/crab hybrids.
*Teleports away, taking the next poster with him, to experiment on.*
Hmm, Instant Crab/Rhubarb is certainly much more convenient, but does feel a little bit like cheating.
Now, where is The When?
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*Scans The when with a specially made device to test awesomeness.*
Incredible, the reading is off the charts! How were you able to achieve such a high level of awesomeness? Where you born/created that way, or does it have something to do with GoatToucher? Because he has experimented on all of us (including you) with the only exception being Waterhammer... for now at least anyway. And no, the irony of being experimented on isn't lost on me.
Playlist: Weird Cover Songs.
1. Jimi Hendrix, All Along the Watchtower.
2. Devo, Are You Experienced.
3. Bauhaus, Ziggy Stardust.
4. Metallica, Turn the Page.
5. Cake, I Will survive.
6. Devo,( I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.
7. Motörhead, Louie Louie.
8. George Thorogood; One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One beer.
9. Bauhaus, Telegram Sam.
10. The Waterboys, Sweet Thing.
Hey, great set list, Waterhammer! We'll start off with (I can't get no) Scotch Willy and go on from there.
Stares at the rug.
Rugs up the stairs
Pfft, I had no head before it was cool.
Dude the US military tried to control the weather during the Vietnam War --> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Popeye.
I did that. Not sure how, but it permanently cured my dandruff.
You don’t know till you try.
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In the words of Yoda: "do or do not, there is no try!".
*The monster egg that Dr G House had put in the magic incubator now "hatches" into a small, cute looking, female Time-Shifter that has the appearance of a traditional nurse with a small stethoscope to compliment her appearance.*
Congratulations, Dr G House, I give you: Mendit!
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Thank you Count.
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You're most welcome. As a courtesy, I'd best give you the full bio on Mendit.
In her default form she can apply medical aid to a single individual. If she is turned evil, she becomes Mendit-Kon (a monstrous looking creature that resembles a hulking zombie surgeon with syringes for arms and hands that is filled with nasty liquid of various effects). While her natural (albeit temporary) good transformation is Mendit Master (who has a more human like appearance with a pair of fairy wings on her back and dressed like her default form), with the ability to heal (both physically and mentally) a large group of sick and/or injured people. As such, I felt that this Time-Shifter is perfect for you.
*Wistful lich noises*
Wasn't Guillame-Marie Mendit one of your old flames, Uncle Honore?