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Reiner's Blood Bowl Teams's page
41 posts. Alias of Jurassic Bard.
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*After a long period of literally ripping the other team to shreds, the polar bear finally calms down and heads back to the sideline to rest. Meanwhile, the Kislev Circus team take advantage of the situation and quickly score a touchdown. Then, the referee blows the whistle.*
*The Brettonian team is in a state of disbelief having lost the game in a dramatic way.*
*Points for each team are calculated, then disregarded due to irrelevance.*
*With that, the final match of Blood Bowl is over... until the next time!*
*The Brettonian team expertly performs two fouls and a touchdown.*
*Many players in the Kislev Circus team are knocked out and removed from the pitch.*
*In response, the polar bear goes berserk. It breaks its muzzle and starts really putting the hurt on the other team, going so far as to literally bite off the head of one of the Brettonian linesmen (much to the sadistic delight of the crowd) while the rest of the Kislev Circus team just keeps their distance.*
*The polar bear takes a nasty swipe at Pulg when the latter offers the former a saxophone to play (even though the game of Blood Bowl is still going on). Fortunately, the goblin referee grabs the saxophone and begins playing it brilliantly.*
*The teams have an epic clash in the middle of the pitch, each attempting to get the ball. Soon, one of the Brettonian/Bretonnian team members gets the ball and scores a touchdown (knocking one of the Kislev Circus team members unconscious).*
*In response, the polar bear is released from its rope (but still wears a muzzle) and takes to the pitch. With a mighty roar, the polar bear bounds towards the other team swiping linemen away and crushing the blockers as it gets the ball and scores a touchdown of its own.*
*Count Reiner Heydrich - having been fully reinvigorated - transforms into a giant bat, spreads out his wings and promptly flies away. As soon as that happens, a group of builder orcs run to the massive hole in the middle of the pitch to sort it out.*
*As the hole is being filled and new grass grown, the next match is being prepared.*
*After suffering a couple of penalties, the Kureshi Kobras score a final touchdown.*
*The Dark Mountain Spiders almost get disqualified for trying to eat the referee.*
*The final points are: Kureshi Kobras - 60, Dark Mountain Spiders - 38.*
*The Kureshi Kobras see the mongoose and snarl at it, scaring the poor creature.*
*Sadly, it runs into a web trap and becomes food for the Dark Mountain Spiders.*
*The Kureshi Kobras are able to slither about the pitch and score several touchdowns.*
*Meanwhile, the Dark Mountain Spiders are crawling around making web traps.*
*As things stand, the Kureshi Kobras - 34, Dark Mountain Spiders - 21.*
*Sees the bouncy ball, rushes to get it.*
*Many Halflings are injured, some are mysteriously taken away.*
*The Slann desperately use their tongues to get the ball, only to be tongue-tied.*
*After a long scuffle, The Lightfoots have 86 points and the Lustria Croakers have 35 points.*
*The Lightfoots manage to score several touchdowns, despite constantly eating.*
*Meanwhile, the Lustria Croakers are falling behind, only able to get a few fouls.*
*At the moment, The Lightfoots have 43 and the Lustria Croakers have 18 (points).*
*Suddenly feels better (but not really), and heads back out to the pitch.*
*Lies down on the couch (who knew it was so big!).*
*Begins telling Pulg all of their entire life stories.*
*Remains in the locker room, getting rid of the trauma caused by GoatToucher.*
*The games continue, undisturbed, by everything going on.*
*While that's happening, the Terradons score a touchdown.*
*The Scavengers get four of their players sent off (including the bull centaur).*
*Soon, the Terradons are beating the Scavengers: 72 - 56.*

Pints of blood spilled: 100d200 + 100d200 + 100d200 + 100d500 + 100d500 + 83 ⇒ (22, 146, 185, 20, 20, 94, 1, 96, 119, 129, 115, 32, 109, 185, 138, 6, 40, 18, 200, 24, 114, 29, 124, 194, 178, 138, 186, 116, 116, 197, 109, 17, 31, 168, 128, 107, 96, 141, 106, 173, 20, 142, 159, 135, 171, 11, 75, 200, 192, 103, 33, 107, 109, 24, 26, 56, 35, 185, 42, 69, 103, 117, 132, 105, 80, 194, 101, 174, 60, 136, 118, 184, 18, 157, 123, 158, 35, 118, 176, 84, 34, 164, 99, 194, 50, 128, 29, 93, 151, 100, 114, 72, 76, 160, 17, 15, 19, 30, 53, 55) + (180, 75, 25, 85, 93, 42, 50, 194, 135, 30, 174, 48, 17, 43, 170, 179, 134, 98, 137, 190, 41, 151, 57, 193, 41, 1, 72, 157, 7, 118, 156, 84, 148, 40, 143, 24, 72, 168, 9, 94, 29, 181, 111, 101, 98, 33, 34, 1, 155, 81, 107, 47, 94, 111, 138, 125, 184, 61, 21, 72, 158, 7, 85, 184, 160, 70, 117, 156, 103, 61, 148, 173, 95, 18, 122, 10, 8, 186, 134, 56, 78, 57, 118, 36, 73, 142, 112, 182, 191, 87, 149, 187, 60, 101, 102, 7, 36, 190, 6, 53) + (95, 19, 127, 70, 163, 166, 80, 193, 192, 83, 196, 196, 140, 191, 46, 48, 31, 97, 144, 26, 136, 67, 99, 75, 30, 124, 97, 190, 140, 14, 62, 121, 52, 40, 157, 10, 188, 39, 167, 199, 149, 118, 142, 170, 40, 78, 183, 143, 43, 179, 38, 84, 193, 182, 75, 4, 16, 112, 27, 87, 20, 178, 138, 34, 73, 198, 115, 190, 37, 57, 42, 160, 156, 47, 112, 132, 125, 11, 54, 175, 106, 186, 166, 80, 117, 91, 138, 97, 61, 141, 175, 136, 136, 53, 68, 92, 194, 82, 45, 55) + (206, 431, 467, 351, 458, 409, 202, 136, 86, 246, 281, 410, 356, 303, 377, 359, 348, 453, 24, 393, 296, 354, 397, 74, 330, 221, 251, 68, 266, 34, 297, 251, 200, 175, 260, 264, 54, 139, 390, 46, 230, 418, 167, 239, 314, 30, 403, 124, 438, 265, 438, 170, 347, 303, 124, 2, 399, 295, 358, 220, 244, 26, 35, 133, 318, 252, 416, 254, 18, 359, 461, 101, 456, 434, 276, 231, 210, 92, 285, 55, 349, 378, 157, 183, 181, 271, 337, 321, 243, 223, 379, 165, 103, 94, 203, 98, 140, 327, 403, 262) + (226, 457, 81, 396, 411, 279, 282, 17, 307, 260, 480, 167, 115, 249, 178, 3, 310, 288, 112, 57, 473, 85, 226, 322, 40, 220, 498, 366, 278, 198, 54, 96, 288, 277, 264, 95, 383, 492, 220, 486, 182, 60, 64, 364, 319, 498, 440, 155, 225, 356, 73, 344, 99, 430, 108, 276, 425, 434, 48, 233, 368, 425, 468, 463, 293, 499, 231, 470, 492, 413, 19, 214, 135, 350, 81, 431, 412, 403, 279, 135, 86, 156, 320, 188, 164, 201, 408, 31, 102, 34, 8, 335, 275, 39, 377, 388, 88, 71, 386, 37) + 83 = 81357
*Finishes in the showers, heads to the dugout read for the upcoming matches.*
*Forms the words "hi John".*
*Snarg just complains that the game just won't be the same.*
*Meanwhile, Femi shows Pulg what to do with a tentacle.*
*Other Blood Bowl teams give their opinions.*
*Jambi collects more photos and videos.*
*GoatToucher absorbs the atmosphere, inviting nightmarish arousal to all.*
*Continues to shower, whilst being interviewed by Pulg.*
A seclusion of Hidebehinds.
A _____ of Blood Bowl Teams!
*Performs a foul, by tackling IHIYC to the ground, hard!*
*Then, tears off his head and runs with it to the end zone for a touchdown!*
That guy who stays in the dugout and doesn't join us on the pitch!
*Runs across the pitch, committing fouls left, right and centre.*
*Gets a red card for using a chicken for a rugby ball.*
*While being interviewed by Pulg, Jambi collects exquisite photos and video footage.*
*A massive fleet of fighter jets appears.*
*One of the ships sends out a message.*
"This is Nuffle's Finest, let's get ready to rumble!"
Nuffle, the true... God of Sports! A Blood Bowl movie.
*Another match of Blood Bowl is over.*
*Every team and Star Player heads into the showers.*
*While engaging in a nice, wash has a nice chat (it's a mixed shower).*
*Is joined by Pulg (who's continuing interviews), IHIYC and GoatToucher (for some reason).*
... The fact that we received one one red card too many!
... Really biased referees!
*The fighting gets worse as Pulg's bands remember that they don't get paid.*
*As each Blood Bowl team tries to get the ball, they have to avoid getting hit by Pulg's bands.*
*Pulg himself proves to be no amateur at the game, nor fighting in general.*
*Has another massive scrum to "battle" Pulgopoulos' Fairy Bouzouki Band.*
*The cheerleaders for the various Blood Bowl teams give evidence about Pulg's Wives being around when the god Nuffle invented the legendary (and [in]famous) game. As the very first thing used as a ball and then as cheerleaders themselves, which is when they first met Pulg.*
Roger Purvis: it pains me, but Khorne wanted us to focus on "pulling pints" than scoring.
*More people run up to Pulg.*
Owner of the Darkside Cowboys: how about giving us an interview, Pulg?
Coach of the Dwarf Giants: no, interview us! We've been great all season!
Roger Purvis: wait your turns lest you wish to be placed on the Skull Throne!
*The arguing intensifies, leading to a massive fight and Pulg is caught in the middle of it.*
Touchdown! 80d100 + 100d80 + 97 ⇒ (95, 77, 68, 61, 86, 96, 10, 72, 17, 71, 45, 29, 2, 44, 75, 89, 45, 58, 62, 6, 72, 41, 25, 90, 91, 68, 88, 8, 59, 99, 59, 61, 48, 4, 40, 4, 45, 30, 43, 85, 73, 88, 44, 24, 12, 28, 83, 14, 83, 71, 91, 13, 77, 69, 10, 84, 87, 11, 38, 79, 38, 37, 54, 92, 72, 95, 3, 47, 41, 93, 78, 33, 85, 5, 22, 95, 53, 81, 23, 52) + (24, 77, 27, 40, 40, 24, 40, 57, 77, 38, 25, 21, 56, 65, 14, 17, 54, 17, 36, 45, 59, 33, 47, 55, 58, 34, 70, 16, 18, 58, 44, 12, 72, 68, 70, 19, 61, 27, 30, 36, 45, 33, 35, 57, 36, 57, 11, 38, 12, 5, 54, 11, 7, 57, 80, 9, 53, 78, 18, 17, 67, 35, 22, 24, 16, 62, 53, 7, 29, 32, 78, 46, 17, 55, 22, 9, 54, 77, 23, 10, 3, 45, 7, 38, 39, 54, 69, 28, 47, 8, 33, 31, 36, 43, 73, 53, 4, 46, 60, 41) + 97 = 8333
*Continues to sit on the benches, doing various things appropriate for each team (from consuming alcoholic beverages/smoking pipes to belittling goblins or replacing lost limbs), as the halftime show goes on (as the Workroom Wenches wait for the judgement of GoatToucher).*
*Massive pile of bodies build up into several pyramids on the pitch as each team tries to get the ball. Or, failing that, Pulg/The when/something else that looks like a rugby ball.*
*Someone in the crowd shouts: "get that hairy football!"*
*All of the Blood Bowl teams promptly start going after Pulg.*
*The Dukes of HUZZAH-RD keep on bellowing in the stands.*
*Little Trevor is trampled even further into mush.*
*Heads into the showers, dragging Vampire Schism with them.*
*Once everyone is cleaned up, even those who weren't dirty, heads back out to the pitch.*
*Vampire Schism is placed on the pitch, facing the goal.*
*One of the Blitzers lines up the shot, runs and boots Vampire Schism to the end zone.*
*The goal is scored as Vampire Schism goes through the goal and crashes to the ground.*
*Grabs Vampire Schism and runs with her to the end zone.*
*Starts chanting and doing a variation of the New Zealand hacker.*
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