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Sovereign Court

There's a lot of things that you missed, including a delicious BBQ provided by Poog. But you might be in luck, I believe that there's three flame grilled rats stuffed with troll meat still left.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
Looks like I missed some rampaging.

That was in the 2000s. It's called ramIMing now.

Sovereign Court

Times change all too quickly nowadays. It's hard to keep up with the latest things and whatnot. Fortunately, I never cared about such nonsense. Sooner or later, the kids that are born this year will be considered out of date by none other than their own descendants.

Liberty's Edge

**Reads the philosophical pondering above**

Yay I am winning! Woo-Hoo!


Enjoy it while you can!


Like a tissue-paper jockstrap, it never lasts.


It probably did last longer then a tissue paper jockstrap however.


*sniff
EW!

Sovereign Court

Best not to think about it, young one, especially if you're easily troubled by such comments.


Winning?

Sovereign Court

Something like that, dearie, something like that.


So long as we are clear on the subject.

Sovereign Court

Did anyone else know that koalas get drugged up when they eat eucalyptus? Because I was so surprised by this, I decided to smoke/eat some myself. But it doesn't seem to work on anything else and now everyone who meets always say: "you smell like a candle".


That's the smell of the oil you use to polish your head.
Good thing you can't go out during daylight hours or you would blind everyone.


As it is, he keeps being mistaken for a small moon, with fangs.

Sovereign Court

He DOES go outside in the daytime, being set ablaze by the sun is not an issue for him. Also, he has a habit of forgetting his trousers.


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That must be what happened to my face.
I was walking along and suddenly it felt like I was hit by a ray of searing light

Sovereign Court

*Appears in a shimmering haze.*

The day is much slower now as it gets longer, perhaps that is why not many people are trying to win. That and the fact that the sun is shining more brilliantly now, creating a lot of searing light.


*Beep Beep!


*ping ping*

Sovereign Court

*Drill, harvest, refine, sell, locate, infect, prosper.*


You mean No one has won this thing yet?


You had, but now you haven't.


ATTENSHUN!!

Sovereign Court

Bless you!

*Hands Sergeant Baskerville a handkerchief to blow his nose with.*


Sergeant Baskerville wrote:

ATTENSHUN!!

Well done, Sergeant!

Alright, you devils - at ease. Our objective today is the giant tower with fangs and tentacles over there, which we are to bombard with explosive halflings until it bursts into tears. Any questions?

Sovereign Court

*Stands to attention.*

Just two questions: why are you giving us orders? We only obey your mother. And two, why are using weapons created by Dr Baphomet (GoatToucher) to attack a structure made by him as a gift to your mother?


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I am giving you orders because I am Lance Ensign-Major Comte de Malodor of 9 Battery, 33rd Flatulent Howitzers, smart-arse, and we are blowing up the tower because Mummy wants a new one and this is the only way we can still get a replacement under the terms of the warranty. Besides, GT has been coming back to toy with it on occasion, and we'd be doing it a kindness. Now button your lip and, on the command 'one', prime that halfling!

Sovereign Court

*Ruthlessly beats up Comte de Malodor, rendering him incapacitated and his wife and sister are laughing at his predicament. Then gets the orders directly from Dowager Comtesse de Malodor and executes it to perfection.*

The tower is down, great one, the tower is down!


Is that a euphemism?


Standing by, watching a man getting beaten within an inch of his life? Left bleeding and humiliated in the dust!?!

That tower is most definitely up, my friends...


>.>


Only two beings are allowed to thrash my son, namely myself and Lashcastrakaa, and I would rather not have a tumescent GoatToucher wandering about when my grand garden party is about to begin. We're saving him for later, and it'd spoil the surprise.

Sovereign Court

*The entire GeneStealer Cult bows before Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.*

Our deepest apologies, great one.

*A small group of metamorph hybrids instead say: "our deepest apologies, grandmother".*

Sovereign Court

While all this talk of politics, Blood War and demon grandmothers is going on, I've just realised something! If Malvel and I are in this dimension, then where are any/all of the following people:

1. Tom, Hero of Avantia
2. Elenna, Heroine of Avantia
3. Storm, Tom's horse
4. Silver, Elenna's wolf
5. Oradu, Good Wizard of Tavania (he resembles me in every way)
6. Velmal, Dark Wizard of Gwildor
7. Sanpao, the Pirate King
8. Petra, Malvel's apprentice (a truly evil witch)
9. Kensa, the Dark Sorceress

Sovereign Court

I wouldn't know, I'm just glad Tom and his friends aren't here! Also, I'm quite "amazed" at you Aduro, you never mentioned Tom's parents (Taladon the Swift and Freya, Mistress of the Beasts), Marc/Daltec (Your own apprentice, granted I killed him when I stole his magic), Blizzard (Elenna's horse and the polar opposite of Strom. Storm is a male horse with black hair while Blizzard is a female horse with white hair) and the fact that I have created a vast army of beasts which also contains the copied forms of various good beasts.


Hey, enough with the 'Game of the Throne' spoilers already!

Sovereign Court

What spoilers? Malvel doesn't know how to drive and we're all playing out the 'Game of the Throne' right now! As it stands, I'm currently on the throne, but who will lay claim to it next?


That would be me.

Sovereign Court

*Grunts in acknowledgement of Snow White's Mother being the one to sit down on the large, uncomfortable, hideous looking chair in the universe. And is very glad to be in the jungle on a nice, comfortable branch.*


<.<


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I'm more concerned about the large, uncomfortable, hideous looking chair OUTSIDE THE UNIVERSE. The fact that there are furniture stores in the Far Realm is very unwelcome news.


You know I'm actually OK with that.


Who sits on the empty throne?

Sovereign Court

It was you, my dear lady, but now it is me. Which is most unfortunate, for I possess no desire to sit on the throne but alas I must.


But whose coffee is that on the table?


Mine. It's actually caramelised Lantern Archon, but the net effect is much the same.

And how lovely to see you again, Snow White's Mother! May I possibly trouble you for your poisoned apple recipe? I need a more-or-less subtle way of getting rid of one or two of Juliette's old boyfriends.

Sovereign Court

Just let Claw the giant monkey eat them, he has already taken care of your daughter's husband, Sir Polydore the Pure. And if you would like another beast to take care of them, I have a whole menagerie!


GRROOAAAARRR!!

*Charges in and bites off Claw's head, having somehow recovered from seeming defeat offscreen*


Ah standard monster movie tactics.

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