To be most blunt, my lady, I haven't the slightest idea. The Heydrich family consists mostly of infamous individuals that happen to be vampires (such as my sister and myself) and we all try to kill each other for control. And, if memory serves me well, I made sure that the only people who bear Heydrich as a last name are me, my wife's (including mistresses) and my children.
What a shame - such a dear, and I didn't mind the fangs at all.
Is it me, or are we getting buzzed by supersonic clowns?
How dreadfully vulgar.
Juliette, as the head of the family, I formally forbid you from becoming undead again. Grandpapa's will says so!
This thread has gotten stranger... is getting stranger
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*Comes into the room, sporting a fancy pair of reading glasses, and looking at a written document that just so happens to be the will that Comte de Malodor was talking about.*
I've just been reading your Grandpapa's will and I'm afraid that it doesn't actually say that so...
*Accidentally bumps into a certain Laser Clown that's running around and drops the will into a nearby fireplace, destroying the precious document.*
Whoops, sorry!
*Turns away, embarrassed.*
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Well, that's that. We shall have to summon Grandpa to make absolutely certain. Vidmaster7, kindly draw the pentagram.
*draws*
Do you mind?! This is a private pentagram, and you are certainly not Grandpapa. No horns, for a start, and you're not wearing pince-nez either.
Really, how rude.
I am wearing a pince-nez right now.
Just not on my face.
TMI!
Toucher's Mucilaginous Intimacies?
It might be...
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Well, given the intensity of my waxing treatments, it is a rather moot issue. It's not as if you have any skin left, fore- or otherwise.
(delightful Patrick Stewart reference, BTW)
I used to be average until I got a beauty treatment.
Now I am BEAUTIFUL!
Eh...
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I think that it all boils down to perception really. So everyone, roll those dice (all kinds are acceptable) and see what you get! DC is 17
*Puts on dressing gown, goes to the spa Salon to get the massage, takes a couple of red d6 dice out of the left side pocket and rolls them, adding my racial +10.*
Yes! I got a 24! My perception is good (as evidenced by the way I perceived that my body would heal itself after the waxing).
*Enters the massage area, where the masseur (Jambi) is patiently waiting, disrobes and lays down on the massage table.*
*With a 'pop', another eye appears in the middle of the Comte's forehead*
Let me see... Ah, no. That's the cubic zircona encrusted one.
eye yi yi yi yi yi.
...Like your cooooconuts
Not coconuts. It's a horse.
Actually, I'm not a horse.
I'm a broom:
:unzips horse costume, revealing a broom, which falls to the floor:
Presumably, if we unzip the broom, we'll find a coooconut.
If you like sand, I can hit you with a sand blaster.
Those are fun.
Everyone told me
Not to stroll on that beach
Said seagulls gonna come
Poke me in the coconut
And they did
And they did
Nuuuuuuuu!
Nothing I could do but yell
When these birds attacked me
When I tried to run I fell
And then these kids start laughing
And then, got hit in the neck with a hacky sack
Where'd it come from?
GoatToucher.
You will never be clean again.
Yes... It was a "hacky sack".
Yes.
Filled with my finest hairball hacks, thank you very much.
Well now I don't want to know.
just the one today.
I know.
Have you been shooting cucumbers too, Vid?
Well I can't shoot cucumbers my great aunt is a cucumber and that would put me in quite the pickle.
Brine it on!
That's a very unusual way of making sushi, I must say.
*retches*
Got out of there just in time.
Wonder what they served instead of sushi.
Oh, a little of this, a little of that...
Do not want to know.
No... No...
Definitely not.
*Explosion of hellfire*
(Inhales and exhales)
"I have...returned."