So what happens when we hit 1,001? (we're so close!)
What happens if we exceed it?
So what happens when we hit 1,001? (we're so close!)
What happens if we exceed it?
I do not knowles, but I thinks there's an "IT'S OVER 1000!" jokes in there somewheres.
And now I contributes
997. Not ebery troll, orge, gi-ants, gobblin, hobbygoblin, kobounder, or the like speaks of self in third personages. Lots of us knows how to speeches! We ares peoples too! (See Charm Peoples description- it affects hoomanoids! We hoomanoids, we peoples! If you charms us, do we not obey?)
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998. If you keep referring to it as "Heck's Vengeance"; you're probably not Cheliaxian Champion material.
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999. Stop calling Isger "The Least Likely Place To Rebel From Cheliax", we're totally our own country you jerks!
We did it! :D
...now what?
1003. Even for the glory of Lord Asmodeus I will not attempt to reform Cheliax into an unstoppable war machine-the chaos resulting from all the other gods being pushed into intervening is not worth it.
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1004: The Tarrasque is not to be treated as an endless food supply
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1005. I will not write Desna/Rovagug fanfiction and brand it as a new holy book of Lamashtu.
1005a. Yes, the Order of the Rack was right to burn it as unfit for sapient eyes.
1005b. They did not burn it because it was "too good for this sinful world".
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1006. I will not try to bottle liquescent protomatter from the Maelstrom and take it back to the Prime Material to market to health nuts as "Protean Shakes."
1007. Galtans never surrender - anyone stupid enough to invade just gets dragged into the cycle of carnage.
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1008. No, you cannot become a Kuthite Priest by solving a puzzle box.
1008a. Depending on the puzzle box, you could become a kyton.
1009. It's The Chapel of Rent Flesh, not the Chapel of Rented Flesh.
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1010. Marine molluscs with heavy plated shells are innocent and harmless and NOT servants of Zon-Kuthon in any way shape or form. Leave them alone.
1010a. Yes, you may pick them up and tickle their foot.
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1011: The anthem of Darklands peoples is not "I come from a Land Down Under, where mushrooms grow and Drow plunder..."
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1012) Norgorber is not "The God With No Name".
1013) Teleport is not an effective form of birth control.
1013a) Neither is dimension door.
1014) It's the Black Blood of Orv, not "Necromantic Super-Goop from Drowtown".
1015) When paying a Halfling to rub his head for good luck, make sure to specify which head... ;)
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1016.) You are allowed to refer to zombies, skeletons, and vampires who wield firearms as "the gundead."
1017) We've all heard the "Athatch with a third leg" joke, you don't need to tell it again.
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1000. Should a similar revolution break out in Numeria, or on Aballon, the ensuing Adventure Path in either case will NOT be called "HAL's Rebels."
Corollary: If you were to play an AP where the rebellion is suppressed, the ensuing Adventure Path in either case WILL be called "Hal's Vengeance."
1000. Should a similar revolution break out in Numeria, or on Aballon, the ensuing Adventure Path in either case will NOT be called "HAL's Rebels."Corollary: If you were to play an AP where the rebellion is suppressed, the ensuing Adventure Path in either case WILL be called "HAL's Vengeance."
Fixed that for you.
1018: Even in a Calistrian temple, applying page 106 of Ultimate Intrigue is called "Countering Influence" and not "Cock Blocking."
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1019: No, Runlord Karzoug is not Ganondorf Dragmire
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1020) Deskari is not "weak to RAID".
1021) Cyth-V'sug cannot be killed "if you just pour some Round-Up on him".
1022 - Just because you are from Druma does not mean you have "all of the swag".
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1024 - Fire-Footed Fennecs do not have fire for feet and Pathfinders for the Ethical Treatment of Familiars and Animal Companions will have words with you if you try to make this so.
1025 - Vorpal bunnies do not exist (we hope)
1026. Punching treants does not bring good luck.
1026a. Knocking on treants also does not bring good luck.
1026b. Nor does it give you wood.
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1027. You Treant sapling companion don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.
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1028) "Let the werewolf win" is not an old Ustalavic proverb.
1029) "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good crossbow at your side" is not an old Rahadoumi proverb.
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1030.) "I find your lack of faith disturbing," is an old Asmodean proverb.
1031 - The improved familiar Celestial Falcon did not do the Sellen Run.
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1032. No, Cavaliers cannot apply for membership to the Order of the Stick.
1033. If it looks like an Illithid, smells like an Illithid, and eats your brains like an Illithid, then you probably failed your knowledge check. We don't have Illithids in Golarion.
1034. "Kill it with Fire," is a valid response to a troll.
1035. "Nuke it from Space, it's the only way to be sure," is not.
1036. It is unwise to question why there aren't more dragons and less puppies in the world. Accept it, embrace it, move on.
1037. Even if it means your Halfing cavalier is forced to settle with a Riding Dog mount.
1038. There is no such thing as a "Grammar Nazi" Inevitables. There is a reason for this.
1039. Gnomes, have, in fact, proven that summoning enough monsters while inside a sealed container cannot, in fact, bust open the container.
1040. A Gnome never accepts evidence as absolutely conclusive.
1041. All Gnomes know this as absolute truth, demonstrated by years of evidence.
1042. Gnomes really don't care about logical fallacies.
1043. Many an apprentices' ashes now adorn the walls of one ancient Golarion Wizard's walls because of misspellings of the words "Mithral" and "Adamantine."
1029) "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good crossbow at your side" is not an old Rahadoumi proverb.
Yeah, everybody knows bows are better than crossbows!
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1044) There is no position in the hierarchy of Calistria's church known as "Dr. Feelgood".
1044a) The same goes for Dr. Love.
1045) Striptease is appropriate in bars and Calistrian temples, not in line at the bank of Abadar.
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1048. BEER FOR THE BEER GOD is not a Caydonite war cry.
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1048. BEER FOR THE BEER GOD is not a Caydonite war cry.
1048a. Corollary: But it totally should be! Either that or BEEEEEEELLLCCHH... excuse me. What were we talking about again?
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1049. You can't claim that your party "Made the Absalom run in less than 12 parsecs". Such a thing does not exist.
1050. The "Monster Mash" is not an Ustalavian dance craze that is sweeping the nation. Nor is it the term for Lamashtu and Rovagug's conjugal visits.
1051. When casting any of the Restoration line of spells, I am not allowed to sing a rendition of Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off"
1052. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT perform the Chicken Dance upon request. Ask me again and I'll make YOU lay an egg! BA-KOCK!
1052. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT perform the Chicken Dance upon request. Ask me again and I'll make YOU lay an egg! BA-KOCK!
What about the cancan or a riverdance?
I'm sure BYH would be great in the Swan Lake !!
1052. "Winter is coming" is NOT the official national motto of Irrisen.
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1053. The national anthem of Ustalav is not "Carrion, my wayward son".
1054. No, the church-bank of Abadar will not let you start the game with "a small loan of a million gold pieces".
1055. "Aroden H. Christ!" is not an authentic exclamation.
1056: If it speaks Aklo, RUN.