*casts permanent curse of hideousness on Xindyra*
There. Now you don't have to worry.
The next poster feels this might not have been the optimum solution.
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She's called Sissyl, she cast a curse on me.
Do you know how much i had to kick a cleric in the nuts before he lifted the curse?
The next poster successfully cast flesh to stone on Sissyl, and auctioned her off as a piece of garden decoration. :3
Little did the sucker realize it was part of a plot between the two of us to rob them blind. The spell wore off and she took every last valuable item they owned plus a few other items just for the heck of it.
The next poster was the victim but is too embarrassed to go to the authorities because of what was stolen.
If I told them of the stolen corpse they'd never return it back to me!
The next poster has been robbed too and plans to go on a stealth incursion with me to recover what was stolen.
I've been robbed of my rum rations! How can I kill anything without them? Let's go for that filthy landlubber!!
The next poster wants to join us, but doesn't understand what a stealth incursion is.
So first things first we charge into the place bellowing as loud as we can then we take this giant bell and bang it a whole bunch of times to really get their attention.
The next poster Is completely taken off guard by my brilliant stealth tactics.
O_O...(blink)....O_O....(blink).... What happened just now?
Next pozter be new hype in dubstep music.
(Drops in to apprehend the escaped madman)
Sorry folks, i have to save your thread by taking him back to his meadow.
Ah, and the next poster will sing us all a song to get our weekend vibe going.
*STRANGLE*
The next poster will purchase The CLAW some tickets to the opera.
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I've got us 2 seats to a performance of The Barber of Seville with an all-banshee cast! The reviews say that it is to die for!
The next poster also enjoys the opera!
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Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, can't escape from reality... This sounds like a regular day on my life, this guy sure knew what music is, not like all that pompous people yelling in a language that nobody can understand.
Next poster has a secret shrine dedicated to Freddy Mercury.
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Wait you mean everybody doesn't have one of those?
The next poster Remembers that one time at band camp.
I remember every time at band camp.
You might want to use a wet wipe before you play that tuba.
The next poster had impressive lung capacity.
I used to. Then an aboleth covered me in slime and now I cannot even breathe. My ship mates say it's permanent and that I'm going to grow scales and be changed into something slimy and creepy. I think they are joking, they are always joking, tell me they are joking!!!
The next poster keeps the joke going on.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape from the horrible slimy nameless horror that is you!
(Nailed it!)
The next poster refuses to believe.
Why would anyone believe anything you say, especially when it's nothing but bad jokes?
The next poster does believe Jokey, but only because of something bad that happened to them.
The chicken came off worse, believe me.
The next poster has been hired to sand Colonel Sanders' kernels, twice daily.
But felt sorry for the poor chicken and released all of them the first day! They all crossed the road, but not too many made it to the other side, sadly. I swear my intentions were pure! At least I had a good laugh.
The next poster ran over some of the chicken.
FOOD!!!
Next pozter has eaten burrito, and now not feel so great.
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My name is Inneedof Ataco you gave away my dinner prepare to fry (something else for me to eat).
The next poster is a long lost relative.
And given 3bn years or so, I may develop into something that quite closely resembles you.
The next poster has discovered the Missing Link.
I can perform ten hundred instrumental sounds, sir. Sad trombone is a personal favorite after smashing some unwelcome intruders.
Next poster has been attacked by unknown enemies.
These were NOT unknown enemies, Artephius. These were squirrels. Normal, inoffensive SQUIRRELS.
Next poster knows the difference.
I am an unknown enemy.
These are squirrels. Far more dangerous than me, as you can see.
Next poster is not afraid of rodents.
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I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the replacement who is called in at the last minute when the other guy gets sick! I am Darkwing Duck's temporary fill-in for the night, Ventnor!
The next poster is scared.
Haaaaaaa ! Nooooo !! Nggggghh ! Whyyyyy ? ! Nooooo !
The next poster knows a thing or two about bowling.
Yes, the balls slide well when smooth.
Oops, i'm holding your head?
Pardon the mistake, as it's round, smooth and has 3 holes in close proximity.
:P
The next poster has made an embarrasing mistake in sports before.
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*Waits for someone who is not an European who thinks football means soccer.*
*Keeps waiting, because she doesn't want everybody to know she doesn't know anyhing about NFL or football*
*Nobody comes to the thread*
Yayyyyyy! Foootbaaaaall! So cool!!! I'm cosplaying as... some football guy I don't know! I love football!!!
*Is satisfied with her answer, completely sure nobody has noticed she doesn't know a thing about the topic*
Next poster is a bit better than me in faking that he knows about what he's talking about.
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I believe you are talking about the vaunted sport known as "Toesmasher," where players smash their toes into rocks in the shape of balls. Myes, quite the spectator sport indeed!
The next poster just simply cannot believe that this happened!
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This sport sounds quite suspect I'm sorry I just don't believe that this "footsball" exist in the least. I do enjoy a good game of toe smasher however!
The next person does not care for all these sports posts.
Sports? Bah, those aren't sports. Murglethigh is a sport - anything else is just nobbing about on turf.
The next poster is a New England Pastry Orc.
New Angling Paltry Orc ?
Yes, I'm one of these go-easy Orcs who like to catch themselves some salmon in the cold beautiful creeks of New England, come the spring.
The next poster has a bad hearing, too.
Understood, sir. Activating killing mode right now.
The next poster runs for cover.
*Finally comes out of cover after 2 days* what i got scured?
The next poster forgot what they were doing but is pretty sure "ALIENS"
You mean ALIENS have come here to mess with my mind and make me forget what I was doing for no apparent reason?
Oh, damn, that means that my poor will save must be known now in the whole universe.
The next poster is not an alien but likes to mess with other people's mind anyway.
Yes... it was definitely ALIENS who brainwashed you and not some other person...
*Hastily hides Brainwashing for Dummies under a stack of papers*
The next poster writes self-help books.
Of course I've read the classics! "Succubus in a Grapple", "Should the Paladin Fall?", "What's wrong with the Fighter?", etc. Great, great stuff!!
The next poster was in a grapple with a succubus and (s)he liked it!
What can I say? With a bit of preparation, we both had a lovely time.
The next poster thinks I am just making this up.
My client, the lovely Sissyl, has been wrongly slandered by the vile succubus. As you can see here I have plenty of evidence, including a signed contract by both parties which clearly states the preparation each was to undertake and videos and photographs of both parties, supplied by Sissyl, showing the undertaking of said listed preparations. The succubus is just mad that Sissyl forgot to call her the next day and, being the evil demon she is, is attempting to besmirch my client's good name.
The next poster is in charge of verifying the evidence.
I'm a professional. It's my job.
The next poster has a cure for hair on the palms.