Okay, my will broke, go ahead and critique.
Droskar's Anvil
Your item actually has the distinction of being the item where we judges really dug into the idea of whether or not the srd format was mandatory.
I actually initially voted to reject both because of the wrong format and for reference to Paizo content. But I hadnt spotted that Erik had posted saying that was ok.
Wolfgang thought it was (at that time) his favorite of the Pathfinder items.
Erik liked the longer you are chained to it mechanic. He also liked the fact that you were tinkering with the length of time to create things which, in our view, was a mechanic worth tinkering with. He was not a big fan of items that, as he put it, "stay back at HQ" and dont go with the PCs.
In the end, format hurt but didnt get you rejected. Your item was where we initially decided it was a mark down for not fully following directions but that it would be unfair to reject outright for it.
By the way, your item was also the item where we decided cursed items were OK. Your item was kind of a special milestone in the judging process. Sorry it ended up with a rejection. We all thought there were some creative things going on with your item.
Coin of Luck Stealing
** spoiler omitted **
Nothing wrong with this item but it does not really stir my imagination.
I think the coin is well designed, well priced, and usable by virtually any PC. What it might lack in flash, I think it more than makes up for in sheer utility. No PC that got this in a treasure horde would sell it, it would be a definite keeper. I think a lot of people focused on making unique items rather than just solid items.
Ah well, to each his own.
I honestly agree with you. This is a good item if your asked to submit something to a magic item compilation or maybe to include in your submitted adventure.
But in a contest where the judges are eventually going to be making Sophie's choices while banging their heads against solid objects trying to decide between two or more items that they really like this is going to loose out.
Wow, Clark, I just want to say what a friggin' awesome thing you are doing sharing your time commenting on the various submissions that ended up not being selected. Even the brutal honest commentaries are insightful.
(Yes, I'm sucking up so you might share your views on mine, too. Here it is...)** spoiler omitted **
Hah!
Good suck up. :)
Man, you guys are really posting some of the ones that caused us massive problems and stirred a good deal of discussion. I love it.
Yours got alot of discussion.
In the end, we felt your "item" was really more of a variant magic form that truly an item. It was rejected for that reason. I'll try to see if I can cut and paste some of our thoughts.
I present my item here, please let me know what you think! I'll go through and give some comments on entries others have posted in the thread.
Brooch of Social Grace
Spoiler:
Originally designed with the socially inept wizard in mind, these items of jewelry have also been commissioned by wealthy families or adventurers for special occasions. This eye-pleasing accoutrement can be used to clasp a cloak, sash, or similar piece of formal wear. The brooch persistently grants its wearer a +2 competence bonus to Diplomacy, Bluff, and Gather Information skill checks.Upon activating the brooch, the wearer will subconsciously speak, gesture, and conduct himself in a manner that any person who converses with him for 5 rounds or more will find most pleasing. This may manifest itself by, for example, having the wearer take on a regional accent that the listener shares, or by having the wearer gesticulate with his hands in a manner that puts the listener at ease. Once 5 rounds of conversation have passed, the listener's attitude will improve one category (see Diplomacy skill). The listener’s attitude is subject to change as normal, and any person can have their attitude improved only once per 24 hour period.
Once per day, the wearer can charm someone, as per the spell charm person.
Faint enchantment; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, charm person, Price 6,500 gp.
Excellent flavour text. I like this item quite a bit and really its the flavour of how the item works thats taking it from something pretty basic to a cool item that catches my imagination.
Well here is my item. after reading it it could have been written better.
I was trying to be creative but it might have come across as to silly.But here it is anyways.
** spoiler omitted **
You know what is funny, we talked about this one a TON.
Your item was the main place we discussed the idea of humorus items. I dont know if you were trying to be silly or not. We thought you were.
Believe it or not, we decided you didnt go FAR enough. I mean, that name got us all lubed up for some whacky fun.
Yeah, here is what I wrote:
"If you are going to make a bad item, it better be really bad. I expected some really bad references to cheesy dance crap and performance art junk. +1 to hit him isnt good enough. If it is going to be bad, make it really crazy bad. Reject for not being crappy enough. The name is great though... Imagine what that guy who writes the Order of the Stick could do with this idea. The mind boggles."
I feel I'm better at Creature design than Item design -
But I would like opinions on this one...Diviner’s Chalk
Spoiler:
An amorous bard found himself desiring a way to spy on the husbands of his paramours. He developed this chalk, and used it to mark their belongings. To his shame, it has found deep popularity with assassins.Appearing as a normal piece of chalk of any color this item has a unique ability. As a standard action you may inscribe a personal rune or mark upon any object. The location of an object marked by you is considered to have been studied for the purposes of Clairaudience, Clairvoyance, and other spells that rely on location familiarity (including Dimension Door and Teleport). In addition, if you cast Scrying or Greater Scrying on a creature carrying the object, your knowledge of that creature increases by one category (from none to secondhand for example).
The marks made by Diviner’s Chalk are nearly invisible and remain potent for 1d4+1 weeks, though they can be identified, detected, dispelled and disabled in the same manner and difficulty as a Glyph of Warding. Diviner’s Chalk can be used fifty times before its magic is expended and it crumbles to dust.Moderate Transmutation; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Clairvoyance, Modify Memory; Price 9,450 gp.
=-=-=-=-
I would have liked to go into more detail on the identification, detection, and dispelling of the marks. But was trying to keep it under 200 words.Comments?
Excellent flavour text.
I like what it does as well. Its comparable to a crystal ball but comes at this from a different angle.
It might be a little overpriced for what it does however.
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Clark, since so many have asked, and you've kindly responded, would you mind critiquing my item? Thank you.
Eyes of the Sun
These clear crystal lenses are worn over the eyes, much like any similar pair. When worn, the wearer can see in normal darkness as if holding a torch. Upon command, the eyes of the sun can emit a glow equal to the light spell, for up to 50 minutes per day. Once per day, the wearer can use searing light against a target.
Faint Evocation; CL 5th ; Craft Wondrous Item, light, searing light; Price: 16350 gp
Hey, what do I have to lose? :)
Comments, compliments, criticism....I'll take it all. I'm just curious as to others opinions on this one.
Crux Draconum
If we'd have known you avatar was so hot we might have kept it :) I mean, after all we are just three guys...
No, seriously. Sorry, that was cheesy. (that is a great avatar, though. I havent seen it before.)
I think the general feeling of the judges was: "This person should just play Council of Wyrms. It's quite a fun setting." You made a strong design choice and we respect that. The item just didnt resonate with us and did seem to really be for a very particular setting, which we thought was one that we, subjectively, didnt go in for. But I think you have a lot to feel good about with this item.
Quill of secrets
Spoiler:
This dull ordinary looking quill holds within it powerful magic. When used to write, the user can instruct the quill on command to create illusory script, as per the spell, with the quill holding 50 charges. While it has charges, the quill never runs out of ink and can be used if flipped over as an erase spell with 50 charges with another command word. Additionally the user can use the quill to read magic, or place an arcane mark with a command word at will with the quill. Finally the quill has one last feature, which is upon a special command word the quill creates a secret page, which the quill then inserts an explosive runes spell on. This is one-time use ability. The item continues to retain its ability to create illusory script afterwards until it runs out of charges. It functions as a ordinary quill once it’s charges have been used. Etched into the quills shaft are the command words used to activate it’s features.Moderate Illusion; CL 8th; Craft Wondrous Item, Read Magic, Arcane Mark, Erase, Explosive Runes, Illusory Script, Secret Page; 27,250 gp; Weight .1 lb
My errors in this one: Should of turned uses of illusionary scropt to x per day. This pen intened purpose was for a parinod baron for my country :P That way the characters couldn't read his diary..
I pretty much agree with your self criticism. The 50 charge thing is really for wands almost all of the time. Uses per day would have been a better option.
Otherwise this would have benefited by having all its abilities assembled in a clearer manner. I find myself reading and rereading this trying to catch all the abilities. Except for the one use ability the rest of its powers should have been consolidated into a single sentence. I think the one use ability should probably result from breaking the pen. That way you don't have a problem with players forgetting that they already used this 32 sessions ago.
Excellent flavour text. I like this item quite a bit and really its the flavour of how the item works thats taking it from something pretty basic to a cool item that catches my imagination.I present my item here, please let me know what you think! I'll go through and give some comments on entries others have posted in the thread.
Brooch of Social Grace
Spoiler:
Originally designed with the socially inept wizard in mind, these items of jewelry have also been commissioned by wealthy families or adventurers for special occasions. This eye-pleasing accoutrement can be used to clasp a cloak, sash, or similar piece of formal wear. The brooch persistently grants its wearer a +2 competence bonus to Diplomacy, Bluff, and Gather Information skill checks.Upon activating the brooch, the wearer will subconsciously speak, gesture, and conduct himself in a manner that any person who converses with him for 5 rounds or more will find most pleasing. This may manifest itself by, for example, having the wearer take on a regional accent that the listener shares, or by having the wearer gesticulate with his hands in a manner that puts the listener at ease. Once 5 rounds of conversation have passed, the listener's attitude will improve one category (see Diplomacy skill). The listener’s attitude is subject to change as normal, and any person can have their attitude improved only once per 24 hour period.
Once per day, the wearer can charm someone, as per the spell charm person.
Faint enchantment; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, charm person, Price 6,500 gp.
Thanks Jeremy. I was hoping to create a fairly basic, low-level item that was easy for a DM to work with in the game, but was still fun and flavorful. Still not quite sure where I went wrong for this competition, but there's always next year. :)
I hope you guys are starting to get a sense of how hard this was for us. There were some real good items, many with some serious flaws, but still good items.
And remember, this is RPG SUPERSTAR. The wondrous item simply happened to be the threshold requirement for admission to the contest.
Firehaire's Beastiary
Spoiler:
A simple leatherbound book, Firehaire's Beastiary allows a reader who has studied the book for at least an hour a day over the course of a week to identify creatures more easily. An attuned reader gains a +5 competence bonus to any relevant knowledge check made to identify a creature. If the reader does not have ranks in a relevant knowledge, they are considered to have 5 ranks for the purposes of identifying the creature.Additionally by studying the book for an hour the reader has a 70% chance of finding some useful information (such as the location of the lair or specific vulnerabilities) of a named creature.
CL:11th, fox's cunning, legend lore 36,000 gp.
I like the competence bonus to ID creatures but I'm less enthused about this 70% chance to find something out about a named creature. For one thing percentage chances to do X or Y are close to unheard of in 3.5. Everything is a DC check. There might be a handful of exceptions but its rare as heck.
Also its unclear how exactly one should adjudicate 'useful information'. Maybe an effect that emulates one of the many divination spells pertaining to that creature would have been a better idea (of course half the time these are heard to adjudicate as well - but here you can at least blame that aspect on the official rules).
Dehydrated Gelatinous Cube:
Long ago the demon lord Juiblex granted its followers the secret to creating dehydrated oozes, powdered jellies, and instant puddings; the knowledge is now widespread amongst spellcasters of both mischievous and nefarious intent. The most common variant is the dehydrated gelatinous cube, which appears to be a one-inch square inert cube of gelatin. It is often kept wrapped or boxed. The cube produces a burning sensation on bare skin but causes no damage until rehydrated with water or similar liquid, when it quickly grows into a standard gelatinous cube (MM p201). Rehydrating the gelatinous cube is a standard action. The cube takes one round to return to normal size—after applying water, most possessors either throw the cube or drop it and run. Creatures caught within the cube’s area at the start of its initiative count must make a DC 13 Reflex saving throw or be engulfed as described in the creature’s extraordinary ability. It is in all respects a normal gelatinous cube and cannot be commanded, controlled, dispelled, or unsummoned.
Faint conjuration; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item; summon monster III; Price 850gp.
Gauntlet of Life Transference
Spoiler:
An oversized gauntlet constructed of interlocking cold-forged iron plates and engraved with necromantic sigils, the first item of this type was crafted by a wizard jealous of the power that wielders of divine magic hold over the forces of life and death.If the wielder of a gauntlet of life transference slays a living creature with a melee attack or a melee touch attack (including one delivered through a spectral hand) the gauntlet siphons and stores a portion of its life energy as potential healing energy. The wielder of the gauntlet can on command discharge all of the stored energy to heal a living creature (with positive energy) or an undead creature (with negative energy) that he touches of 1d8 damage per hit die of energy stored. The wielder can also heal himself in this fashion. If not discharged the energy stored in the gauntlet dissipates at the rate of one hit die of energy per hour.
Additionally, the wielder of the gauntlet can create a spectral hand effect once per day on command.
Strong necromancy; CL 13th; Craft Wondrous Item, limited wish, spectral hand, vampiric touch; Price 88,140 gp; Weight 2 lb.
Conceptually I generally like this but I think it has a few issues.
For one thing I'm not exactly sure we ought to be using a gauntlet for an item thats generally made for wizards. I mean does this thing screw up spell casting? Presumably a gauntlet might depending on your DM so I'd just stay away from big metal objects attached to ones hands for items aimed at wizards.
You never come out and tell us exactly how much energy one gets from slaying the creature. I'm presuming you get 1 hit die worth of energy but thats never actually covered.
The item seems made for a wizard and the flavour text talks of a wizard but I don't expect a wizard to use it. Eldritch Knight maybe but trying to use this for your average wizard is near suicide.
You only get a benefit if you deal the death blow but this thing costs a whopping 88 thousand gp. By the time you can afford that kind of cash the 1d8 hps you get is pretty laughable.
For an item of this power I would probably allow the player to store the bonus hps forever (until used). This introduces an accounting issue but I think the idea that the wizard can slowly build up life saving healing is cool enough that the price might be worth it in this case. Even then I honestly can't see a player coughing up the gp. This should probably be a lot cheaper.
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I hope you guys are starting to get a sense of how hard this was for us. There were some real good items, many with some serious flaws, but still good items.
Indeed. Thanks for reviewing some of these for us Clark. I won't specifically point out mine for review - given the general feedback and do's and dont's, as well as feedback from my peers on this thread, I think Ive generally figured out what was wrong with mine.
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Dehydrated Gelatinous Cube:
I like this Jebadiah, but it's also a great example of the "Monster in a box" syndrome (although if you're creative with it, you could use it as a Trap-in-a-Box instead...)
Also, it would have been rejected for using the name Juiblex, which, I believe is neither srd nor public domain.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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If we'd have known you avatar was so hot we might have kept it :) I mean, after all we are just three guys...No, seriously. Sorry, that was cheesy. (that is a great avatar, though. I havent seen it before.)
hehe. i just had to go look. that is a great avatar. now i think i'll go looking for a new avatar for myself. there's nothing there that really screams ancient sensei or iron dm.
does anyone know if there are ways to create or import your own avatar? i am not so savvy with that stuff.
Bag of Hostile Challenges
Spoiler:
A bag of hostile challenges appears as a small burlap sack containing wax figurines of muted detail. When activated, each figurine forms into a summoned creature either hostile or helpful to the activator. The wax figurine is either placed or tossed (ranged touch attack, range 10 ft.) and, after the command word is uttered, forms in 1 round.A bag of hostile challenges comes in three types and each new bag contains 3 figurines. Type I figurines are capable of forming into any creature from summon monster II lists; Type II from summon monster V lists; Type III from summon monster VIII lists.
Figurines may be used repeatedly to summon hostile creatures which fight the activator and assisting comrades fiercely. Although no experience is awarded, such encounters are used to experiment, train etc. Figurines used to summon a creature to assist the activator are depleted upon activation. All summoned creatures remain 1 round per caster level unless destroyed or dispelled.
Faint, moderate or strong conjuration; CL 3rd (Type I), 9 (Type II), 15 (Type III); Craft Wondrous Item, summon monster II, V, VIII; Price 1,500 gp (Type I); 11,250 gp (Type II); 30,000 gp (Type III).
I don't understand the point at all.
Do you have some kind of training house rules in your campaign?
As a DM I would not allow this in my game. It seems like a license for the players to screw up with the timing of the adventure so that they can have some gratuitous combat.
I mean I'm a hack and slash DM myself but there should be some kind of point to the fight.
Pocket OrreryI can see one reason it was rejected...Too Cheap. Time Stop is considered by many the most powerful 9th level spell next to Wish. A Pocket "Time Stop" usable by anybody is just too powerful... At least a scroll version requires an arcane caster who (if not high enough level) can fudge it up.
One thing a GM friend of mine always said: You can use any magic spell or item that makes sense, but then don't expect ME not to use it or something similar against you.
Would you want an enemy to have a handy Time Stop device on them? To be used ay time they wished, and could replace it for a mere 18,000 gp? (Or 9,000 if an arcane caster of 17 level).
Otherwise I like it. I would sugest making the device do something more ordinary, like Explode in a fireball, or teleport you randomly (or both). Besides you specifically said it wasn't a timepiece. Then why timestop? Why not a Gate spell or similar "Planetary Conjunction" type spell?
Thats actually a really good point. Now there is a precedent in the Candle of Invocation but come to think of it I have devoted a whole thread to ranting and raving about how game breaking that item is.
That said being able to gate in a Solar to help you fight at for a 6th level party is a lot more busted then time stop. But I do think that one might want to stay away from one use effects for high level spells in terms of wondrous items that anyone can use.
A way around this problem would actually be adding a few more powers to the item and raising its price so that one cannot pick it up purely for the purpose of getting time stop at low level. Something like that might be worth it in this case as I feel that the item has a lot of potential conceptually and breaking it for time stop is inspired.
Armband of the Apothecary
Spoiler:
This tarnished bronze armband, wrought in the form of two coiled snakes, is designed to be worn about the upper arm. This armband takes one week to attune to its wearer's alignment and provide any benefit. If worn by a good aligned character, the armband turns a polished gold hue and provides a +4 competence bonus to all Heal checks made by the wearer, and once per day cast Cure Light Wounds as a second-level cleric. If worn by an evil aligned character, the armband appears obsidian, though it retains metal properties, providing a +4 competence bonus to all Craft (Poison) checks, and once per day cast Cause Light Wounds as a second-level cleric. If worn by a neutral aligned character, the armband turns a silver hue. The neutral wearer must decide each day if the armband will provide a bonus to Heal and receive the Cure Light Wounds or Craft (poison) checks along with Cause Light Wounds as described above.Price: 5200 gp
Slot: Upper arm
Faint Aura conjuration
Activation standard (command)
Weight: -
Prerequisites: craft wondrous item, cure & cause light wounds, know alignment
Cost to create: 2600 gp, 250 XP, 3 days.
Not bad at all. The snakes strike me as a bit cliche but this is otherwise perfectly serviceable.
My only real complaint is I can't say that it really does much to catch my attention. Solid but not actually exciting.
Well, here is mine.
Gloves of the Badger
Spoiler:
These gloves are most often made of supple, black leather. The fingertips are made from a hardened material and have the appearance of tiny claws. Although the gloves seem to have claws, they are not usable as a weapon.When donned, the gloves bestow upon the wearer a burrowing speed of 10 feet per round. The wearer is then able to tunnel through any kind of earth such as sand, dirt or clay but not rock or stone. The act of burrowing does not create a tunnel, and the wearer cannot charge or run while within the earth. Both hands must be free to in order to burrow, and both gloves must be worn in order to benefit from the effect.
Faint Transmutation; CL 3; Craft Wondrous Item, Soften Earth & Stone; Price 12,000gp
-----------------------------------------------------------------------To be quite honest, I am not a master of magic items (i'm more of a monster masher ;) )
So feel free to shower me with praise, or stone me with ridicule.
Well I for one like it. Granting the burrowing ability is actually a pretty neat idea. Good item.
Leotard of Interpretive Dance
I would have so voted this in.
This is handy as Clark and I appear to have virtually identical sleep schedules. Feel free to post any commentary on the Amaranth Martingale (full stats page 6); I'm a big boy.
Director of Narrative
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Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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I failed my Will save. I suppose I shouldn't use a d13. ;)
Hit me Clark! The rest of y'all too.
This finely crafted wooden tube, capped and butted with silver filigree, holds a thick piece of chalk. Carried by explorers, adventurers and infiltrators, the chalk can create passage by drawing a doorway on a wall or barrier of wood, stone, plaster or even metal. Three times a day as a standard action, the doormaker can create an effect similar to the passwall spell, but it only affects an area 5 feet wide, 8 feet tall and up to 5 feet deep. The doorway fades after an hour and the wall or barrier returns to its previous state. If the effect ends while a creature or object occupies the portal it is shunted to one side of the wall or another (50% chance). The user, if in need of a quick escape, may reseal the portal prematurely by expending an additional daily use and retracing the doorway.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, passwall; Price 13,000 gp.
I know the name is lame and I have seen a couple of chalks and one door-making item, I'd like to see more eyes on this one.
Doorbreaker
Spoiler:
Also known in Varisia as a “Desnan Key”, this device resembles two ornate starknives joined at the core. The blades of a Doorbreaker are constructed of adamantine and freely rotate in alternate directions. Up to three times per day, the Doorbreaker can be placed on a solid surface (such as a door, window or floor) and commanded to animate.The device deals 2d4 points of damage per round to objects, ignoring hardness, and continues to cut for a number of rounds equal to the CL, until commanded to stop, or the target object is destroyed. If allowed to move, the Doorbreaker will progress at 5’/round.
The apparatus is ensorcelled to operate silently, and automatically attempts a targeted dispel magic on any spell effect that has been placed on the target object, including arcane lock, fire trap, symbols and glyphs.
With a second command word, the Doorbreaker can also seamlessly repair the damage it has inflicted at the same rate.
Greater versions of the Doorbreaker exist, with an increased caster level
Moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 5th, 10th or 20th; Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, mending, dispel magic/greater dispel magic, silence; Price 9,000 gp, 18,000 gp, or 40,000 gp
Cool item.
One problem though is its ability to cast dispel magic. At what caster level does this work?
Also I personally would rather have the item not repair the damage. See that allows you to make your secret break into the castle but it leaves a pretty obvious clue.
Exciting role play (well more likely 'roll' play) ensues as the PCs try and accomplish their mission before their deed is discovered and the alarm is sounded - Cue the theme music as PCs attempt daring escape.
If it can repair damage then it becomes a matter of the PCs just casting silence and greater invisibility before getting on with their nefarious deeds and that starts to sound a bit to powerful. Execution becomes just a little too pat - take the correct precautions and you can't be caught more or less. Where is the fun and excitement in that?
That's excellent Daigle; I'm going to use it if you don't mind, once I've changed the name. lol.
Leotard of Interpretive DanceI would have so voted this in.
Haha, yeah! Such injustice on this one. :-)
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
aka Eyebite
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I failed my Will save. I suppose I shouldn't use a d13. ;)
Hit me Clark! The rest of y'all too.
** spoiler omitted **
I know the name is lame and I have seen a couple of chalks and one door-making item, I'd like to see more eyes on this one.
Awesome concept Daigle. But, I think the name hurt you (as you said), and I think the item itself might be slightly game breaking. It's just too good, especially for the bargain price of 13,000 gp. This item, even if used by dumb players, removes the threat of obstacles, makes secret door detecting meaningless, etc. If used by creative players - yikes.
I just wouldn't ever give this out in any treasure horde.
Again - really good idea. It just might be too good. I think it radically shifts the balance of play into the PCs' favor.
Just my two cents.
I swear it hasn't been a conscious decision, but you can easily guess which Pathfinder article I must've read shortly before :)
Desna's Dice
Spoiler:
A little butterfly sometimes used as a holy symbol of the Song of the Spheres. The item is made from crystal; its wings change color if it is placed at any even surface and rotated by its possessor. As is fitting for a symbol of the goddess of luck, colors change at random which makes this item usable in a variety of dice-based games. To get the result, roll a d8 and look at the following table:
- d8..color
- 1....red
- 2....orange
- 3....yellow
- 4....green
- 5....blue
- 6....indigo
- 7....violet
- 8....prismatic
Apart from its obvious use as a dice, the item also has a second function. If it is thrown at an opponent, the butterfly shatters which immediately creates the effect of a color spray (in the direction the item has been thrown). The item functions as a splash weapon and is destroyed by the attack.
The item can be sanctified by a priest of Desna and functions as a holy symbol thereafter.
Faint Illusion; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, color spray, creator must be a follower of Desna; Price 50 gp.
Oh pretty colours! Which serve no function at all? I like the colours. Do something with the colours!
50 gp for colour spray has issues as well. Sure its accurate more or less by the magic item creation table but you taken arguably the most powerful 1st level spell in the game and just given it to everyone whatever their class happens to be for dirt cheap. What keeps my 2nd level players from buying one of these for everyone in the group and using them en masse?
Splash effects are OK but it still seems to powerful for every one of my players to open every combat by having all of them throw these things as range attacks. I mean this sure puts alchemists fire to shame.
Belt of the Octopoda
Spoiler:
This belt is fashioned from glistening black tentacles interwoven with each other and fastened by a coral buckle which is engraved with the image of an octopus. The belt allows its wearer to utilize a modified black tentacles. When activated, the tentacles uncoil and lash out in a 10 foot radius centered on the wearer. The tentacles grasp and entangle any creatures within that radius. Every creature within the radius of the tentacle attack must make a grapple check opposed by the grapple check of the tentacles. The tentacles act as a Medium creature and have a grapple check modifier of +13. The tentacles are immune to all types of damage.Once the tentacles grapple an opponent, they may make a grapple check each round on the wearer’s turn to deal 1d6+4 points of bludgeoning damage. The tentacles continue to crush the opponent until the wearer deactivates the belt, the spell ends, or the opponent escapes. The tentacles disengage and return to the belt after 7 rounds. While the tentacles are activated the wearer cannot move. The belt can be activated twice daily.
Moderate conjuration; CL 7th, Craft Wondrous Item, black tentacles; Price 30,240gp; 1 lb.
I kind of like the concept but feel that there are mechanic issues. First off you take one of the most confusing parts of the game (the grapple rules) and then add a wrinkle by having an item that grapples and is attached to you.
Sure you can't move while the item is grappling but - well what if you decide that you have to move? Is deactivate a free action? Probably.
OK I'm an Ogre and I'm grappling with your tentacle and I choose the option to drag my opponent around at 1/2 speed. OK so what happens now? Does the belt wearer get dragged along with the tentacle? Should this modify the chance to win an opposed grapple check to move in some manner?
Also the tentacles grapple creatures with a 10' radius. But when and how do they do that? What kind of an action is taken to initiate?
OK so it goes after everybody - that means my friends to right? Can I only let the cleric out of my grapple by deactivating the whole item and letting the Evil Ogre out as well?
Wheels of the Vagabond
Spoiler:
This set of wheels consists of four iron-rimmed wooden disks, each about the size of a standard buckler. When the command word is spoken and the wheels placed on opposite sides of an unattended inanimate object no larger than a typical wagon (250 cubic feet; 400 lbs.) the wheels enlarge to 5’ diameter, lifting the object from the ground, to create a magical transport. The new “wagon” functions as if being pulled by two heavy horses but requires only the concentration of the user. The user need not ride on the “wagon” but must maintain line of sight. A second command causes the wheels to reduce to their normal size and be easily removed.Moderate Transmutation; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item; mending, animate objects; Price 20,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs (per wheel).
My pricing was based mostly on other items in the SRD and maybe it is a bit overpriced but otherwise my group liked it for its potential in-game. They like items they can use in ways that were not originally intended.
Goo
Does seem overpriced but all in all this works for me. Good item and I like the fact that you covered the bases by defining, roughly, the limits of what this item can move (no abusing this by moving the castle).
A very solid item. Kudos.
Well, here is mine.
Gloves of the Badger
Sounds cool.
What happens when you stop digging and you're still underground?
How long can you dig for?
Seems like you would get disoriented while you were digging?
Presumably this basically just grants you a burrow speed. Should follow all the rules pertaining to creatures with a burrow speed.
In fact I would have issues if the item covered what happened if you stop or made rules for getting lost. Thats basically adding a personal addendum to the SRD and I feel that this would set a bad precedent. We don't get to actually make the rules of the game along with our item, IMO.
Presumably this basically just grants you a burrow speed. Should follow all the rules pertaining to creatures with a burrow speed.In fact I would have issues if the item covered what happened if you stop or made rules for getting lost. Thats basically adding a personal addendum to the SRD and I feel that this would set a bad precedent. We don't get to actually make the rules of the game along with our item, IMO.
Yeah, I pretty much figured that if a creature has a burrow speed, then while burrowing it should be able to breathe normally while tunneling and not get disoriented. And thusly, the wearer of the item would get the same benefits as well while the item is being used.
Glad you like it, Jeremy!
Mantle of Resurrection
Spoiler:
This heavy blood red garment, worn over normal clothing or armor, instantly resurrects any dead creature that it is placed upon, as the spell resurrection cast by a 13th level cleric. It has no effect on living creatures.
If a creature restored to life by a mantle of resurrection removes the mantle, it immediately dies, with no saving throw. Dying in this or any other manner while under the effects of a mantle of resurrection prevents the creature from being restored to life, except by a true resurrection, wish, or miracle.
A mantle of resurrection may only be used once; when the creature it resurrects dies, the mantle loses all power.
Strong conjuration (healing); CL 13th; Craft Wondrous Item, resurrection; Price 9,000 gp.
Why overpowered for the price.
Introduces tricky mechanics and requires the player and DM to forever afterward keep track of whether the item is on the person. I mean presumably they never change clothes again. This in turn forces one to start dealing with other issues in the game. If the character never takes any chances with this thing then presumably they don't bathe anymore. What effect does not bathing have in game terms?
This item leads to a Pandora's Box.
Gloves of Force Shaping
Spoiler:
Woven from phase spider silk, these gloves are visible only as a faint distortion in the air. When worn, they grant the ability to see and identify the nature of force effects, even ones that are normally invisible. Three times per day, the gloves allow their wearer to manipulate force. As a standard action, the wearer can create a 5-foot square force wall (as a wall of force spell), or a 10-foot square if a full-round-action is used. Optionally, the wearer can instead create a hole in an existing force effect (even a wall of force or forcecage). The hole created can be as large as a 5-foot cube as a standard action, or a 10-foot cube as a full-round action. If this is larger than the force effect in question, the effect is suppressed entirely. In any case, the force wall, hole or suppression lasts for 3 rounds. The wearer must have at least one hand free to use the gloves, no command word is required.
Moderate Evocation; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, disintegrate, see invisibility, wall of force; Price 12,500 gp.I left the range off the item, didn't notice until post-submission. Wonder if that would have been enough to push it over the top :)
But I'm very flattered to have come even close to making the cut. All the winning items I've read have been very interesting, moreso than my toy.
You might be right about the range. That was the first thing that came to my mind when I read that aspect.
I really like the flavour of your item. Faint distortion from gloves made of phase spider silk...now thats cool.
I'm not sure about the wall of force suppression. It kind of seems sort of complicated with you making 'holes' in the wall of force. Having the wall of force just go down for, say 3 rounds, would be much easier to adjudicate.
I'm not sure about the price tag on this either. wall of force is pretty powerful. I'm not so sure that the tumbling rogue should have this spell for only 12 grand.
I'm also a tad confused by the effect of the wall of force. DO you mean it potentially can surround a 5' or 10' creature with a wall of force? That sounds real potent or is this a one dimensional wall that covers 5' or 10'?
This is a fun image - very Vancian. I agree that it's hard to justify the cost for essentially a floating disk.Here was my attempt. Criticism?
Wheels of the Vagabond
My pricing was based mostly on other items in the SRD and maybe it is a bit overpriced but otherwise my group liked it for its potential in-game. They like items they can use in ways that were not originally intended.
That floating disk has obscene range requirements. You have to be within 5' or some such. This thing is remote controlled by line of sight.
If the object I move is something that I have hollowed out I could do all sorts of stuff. I could hide in it. I could fill it with something that goes boom.
Or maybe I hook this up to a ram? Or... or...
I think this might actually be under priced.
Here's mine.
Spoon of the Witch Queen
Spoiler:
This finely carved wooden spoon appears to be nothing more than a fancy utensil that might be set out for a feast day or other special occasion. The spoon has a number of special qualities, however. A single drop of a potion tasted off the spoon grants the user a +5 competence bonus to her Spellcraft check to identify the potion. In addition, the spoon grants to +5 competence bonus to Craft (alchemy) checks. Once per day, the spoon may be dipped into a small quantity of water to transform it into the wielder’s choice of 3 doses of one of the following liquids: wine, poison (liquefied id moss, ingested, DC 14, initial 1d4 Int, secondary 2d6 Int, 125 gp), holy water, antitoxin, or alchemist’s fire. This change lasts 12 hours, after which the liquid becomes clean safe water, even if the substance was previously tainted or poisoned.
Moderate transmutation; CL 7; Craft Wondrous Item, minor creation, poison, creator must have 5 ranks in Spellcraft and Craft (alchemy); Price 7,950 gp.I originally cut a fair amount of flavor text, and I still wonder if I would have fared better to put some of it back in, since I had word count to spare.
- Ashavan
I have already read on another thread that this got rejected becuase the name creates hype that it does not live up to.
I guess I agree with them though I can't even be sure I would have noticed this aspect if it had not been brought to my attention.
What is meant by 'small quantity'? One dose?
Otherwise this is pretty solid - I think you might have had a shot if this had been somebody else's spoon...
I would appreciate feedback...
Misleading Cloak
Spoiler:
On command, this unremarkable appearing cloak simultaneously teleports the wearer a short distance, turns him invisible and leaves behind an illusory double. When activated, the wearer selects a destination within 50 feet and transports to the exact spot desired. If the destination is not available for him to occupy or is out of range, none of the cloak’s effects activate and a use is considered expended. The wearer can bring along objects as long as their weight doesn’t exceed his maximum load. At the same instant that the wearer transports, he becomes invisible as if a greater invisibility spell had been placed on him. In addition, an illusory double appears in the space he is departing, perfectly superimposed over his body. The double behaves and is controlled as though the wearer had cast a mislead spell. The illusion and the invisibility last for 11 rounds. The cloak can be used three times per day.Moderate conjuration and illusion; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, mislead, dimension door; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
I can't shake the feeling I've seen something almost exactly like this somewhere before. Maybe a spell in PHB2? Something in the MIC? I don't know but I'm getting major deja vu here.
You don't 'transport' you teleport.
How do you select this point in space your going to end up at? Do you need to be able to see it? Is having been there at some point in your life a requirement or does just knowing (or guessing) of the spaces existance qualify?
This is a pretty good item but I'm not sure it can really be handled in 200 words. You have a lot of spell effects going on here and they are all happening at the same time.
Clark, if you're still giving feedback, I'd love to see some on the Reliquary of Saint Tyrion I submitted. The better to improve and all that :)
Or at least validate my own theories.
Boots of Stinking Retreat
It appears as if you felt you needed more 'padding' in your entry at the last minute. You could drop the last three sentences and you wouldn't lose anything, IMO. It's a good item!
Yeah - this part turned me off as well. It just had a bad smell (awful pun intended). I can't quite put my finger on it but it just did not really fit somehow.
I can't shake the feeling I've seen something almost exactly like this somewhere before.You might be thinking of the warlock invocation called Flee the Scene in Complete Arcane.
Hmm...maybe. I mean I own Complete Arcane but I don't use Warlocks in my game.
Spoon of Dragons Diet
This silver spoon is of fine make its handle is made of ivory and bears intricate carvings of dragons. When the spoon is held and the command word spoken, any solid material scooped into the spoon becomes an edible paste.
The spoon can scoop through any non magical material as if it were made of soft clay. The spoon functions in this manner as long as the wielder consumes its contents, discarding a spoonful of material without eating it results in the spoon becoming inactive for 12 hours.
If used on living creatures the spoon does 1 hit point of permanent damage per scoop.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item; keen edge, polymorph; Price 8,500 gp
My item, I went for solid instead of crazy powerful.
Goblin Gruel
Spoiler:
This milky, greenish concoction tastes surprisingly sweet. It bestows upon the eater a +4 morale bonus to strength and grants the eater the use of the Diehard feat, both effects last for one hour. Eating the gruel also incurs 4 points of damage to the eater’s wisdom score.Before any major raid or battle, goblin warchanters and shamans work together in creating a batch of goblin gruel for the warriors. According to goblins, the gruel makes a goblin stronger, twice as tough and absolutely fearless. Other sources often refer to the fine line between fearless and senseless, but admit the truth of the first and second claim.
Faint transmutation; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse, rage; Price 2000 gp for a batch of 50 servings.
I had a similar themed to my item so their could be some bias here.
Essentially this is an item for the DM and makes weaker opponents stronger for an encounter.
One problem I see with your item is it kind of feels like a potion, well a lot of potions really.
I'd use it in my game but it does straddle some kind of line in being a toy for the DM and not the players.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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I believe the person wanted a critique of the item itself, not someone to count his words. Therefor, your post was simply rude and did not help anyone. Thanks for playing!I count 301 words. Thanks for playing!here is my item please comment if you would like.
** spoiler omitted **
Did you read the item? Either Mr. Davenport included the spell and was over word count, or he didn't include the spell and made three references to a non-SRD spell that no-one has ever heard of. It was also incomplete without the clarification in his next post, bringing it to 315 words in total to include the minimum necessary mechanics.
Here's my critique, then. Forget spelling, grammar and the contest rules. The winners didn't need those things. This is not a design. I can't see a concept. It has no reason to exist. If you dump this writeup and give me in five words or less what the item is and one sentence describing one thing it does, we can talk. (If you see any reason to, that is. No doubt I'm just making rhetorical gestures.)
ooh, I can't wait until you get to mine (the adventurers vest).
oops, meant to address that last comment to Jeremy, since you seem to be online at the moment.