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As self-conscious as I'm currently feeling, I do want to grow as a writer and designer. So, here is my entry.
Second Thought
** spoiler omitted **All comments are welcome.
-Scott
What's it based on?
Sorry, I don't follow.
Are you asking if there is a precedent in the game for the increasing intelligence? Not that I know of.
Are you asking if there is something similar from myth or literature on which it was modeled? Again, not that I know of.
-Scott
I can't speak for Patrick, but this sounds very much like a ring of mind blank with better flavour text. It's clear that wasn't your intention, though.
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Ok, so I'm throwing my item into the mix. Thoughts? Suggestions? Severe issues?
Discerning Eye
I really don't like magical arms race effects. On the other hand I do like D&D conventions, such as lead blocking detection spells. A non-artifact item ignores them at peril. It takes a long time to get to the actual effect and I'm not sure that it's very clear in the end.
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Well I'll give in. Curiosity is killing me.
Golem’s Knuckle
I like this, though the double item slot cost is painful for what it does. I can see this sitting in a backpack 90% of the time.
It's hard to go past one of the very few items that imposes magical effects on a golem. The obvious person to use one would be a sorcerer or bard, since there's darn all else useful they can do in such a battle.
This was my item. I sent it before I knew universal item weren't the equivalent of wondrous items. I guess this is why I'm not a RPG superstar. Comments are welcome, I'm not sure if its clear how to use it and if it is just a copy of the psionic power psychofeedback.
Medallion of Devolution: This psionic item is an uncut crystal on a rough iron chain. It was originally created by a psychic warrior and brilliant tactician, who came to the conclusion that, sometimes, instincts and brute force are the best strategies. The medallion was designed to awaken primal aspects of the wearer by shutting down his higher thought centers.
Once a day, as a standard action, the wearer reduces by 1 to 9 points, divided any way he wants, his Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma scores, and augments by the same amount, his Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score. No ability score can be reduced below 1 with this item. The augmentation lasts for 9 rounds. The reduction is ability burn, a special type of ability damage that cannot be healed through magical or psionic means. Only natural healing restores the burnt ability points.
Moderate psychometabolism; ML 9th; Craft Universal Item, psychofeedback; Price 16,200 gp.
My item, I went for solid instead of crazy powerful.
Goblin Gruel
** spoiler omitted **
I had a similar themed to my item so their could be some bias here.
Essentially this is an item for the DM and makes weaker opponents stronger for an encounter.
One problem I see with your item is it kind of feels like a potion, well a lot of potions really.
I'd use it in my game but it does straddle some kind of line in being a toy for the DM and not the players.
Yes, it is geared more towards the DM than the players but players can use it, if they can find a batch.
It is not a potion, including the feat makes it a wondrous item.
Besides, Clark said it is a B+ item ;>
Clark, since so many have asked, and you've kindly responded, would you mind critiquing my item? Thank you.
Eyes of the Sun
These clear crystal lenses are worn over the eyes, much like any similar pair. When worn, the wearer can see in normal darkness as if holding a torch. Upon command, the eyes of the sun can emit a glow equal to the light spell, for up to 50 minutes per day. Once per day, the wearer can use searing light against a target.
Faint Evocation; CL 5th ; Craft Wondrous Item, light, searing light; Price: 16350 gp
This was a "not bad" item. One of the 250 that are all well designed but just seem to lack that oomph. I have no criticism of the item other than that it failed to catch our attention. Wolfgang liked it, very X-men.
We all wanted some richer writing from you in this item.
This was my item. I sent it before I knew universal item weren't the equivalent of wondrous items. I guess this is why I'm not a RPG superstar. Comments are welcome, I'm not sure if its clear how to use it and if it is just a copy of the psionic power psychofeedback.
Medallion of Devolution: This psionic item is an uncut crystal on a rough iron chain. It was originally created by a psychic warrior and brilliant tactician, who came to the conclusion that, sometimes, instincts and brute force are the best strategies. The medallion was designed to awaken primal aspects of the wearer by shutting down his higher thought centers.
Once a day, as a standard action, the wearer reduces by 1 to 9 points, divided any way he wants, his Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma scores, and augments by the same amount, his Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score. No ability score can be reduced below 1 with this item. The augmentation lasts for 9 rounds. The reduction is ability burn, a special type of ability damage that cannot be healed through magical or psionic means. Only natural healing restores the burnt ability points.
Moderate psychometabolism; ML 9th; Craft Universal Item, psychofeedback; Price 16,200 gp.
goldomark,
This one had a couple problems. First, as you note, it is not technically a wondrous item.
Second, we all agreed that an item is not the place to be introducing new damage types.
Third, the judges also agreed that "trading Int/Wis/Cha for Str/Dex/Con is munchkinism at its finest".
But despite our rejection, here was my comment:
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Clark said:
[prior comments omitted, summarized above]
That said, I gotta love a kid that swings for the fences. I respect that. And this item does it--psionic, well written, big idea, good format. But it falls flat in that it tries to do too much. I hate to punish a guy for overreaching, but this one does.
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I hope that gives you something to work from.
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Good stuff, here it is again:
Elixir of Rejuvenated Mind
** spoiler omitted **Not at all bad really. I actually like it more the more I dwell on it.
I'm not sure why you have mage's lucubration in brackets.
I presume this is a one use item but thats not made clear.
Another problem is this items value is actually all over the place. If I can only cast spells of up to the 3rd spell level then this is way overpriced. Its probably about right if I can cast 1st through 6th level spells. If I can cast 7th through 9th level spells then I'm buying these by the dozen. I mean the ability get back a free 7th, 8th, and 9th level spell is phenominal.
Breaking this into three versions with spell level caps would be a better idea. So the lesser version would give you a slot back for...
Thanks for the first comment on this!
Mage's lucubration is an additional prerequisite for the greater version. It didn't look clear to me, either, on later rereading, but to add "Greater:" that many times would probably have pushed me over word count.
It's one use - one draught of elixir for the listed cost.
I priced it based on regaining spells of 1st to 9th level. As mentioned, I'm fairly sure I divided by 100 rather than 50 at one point, so it should cost twice as much. Even though that puts it in the upper reaches of cost for single-use items, I agree that it's a bargain for high-level casters. The idea of spell level caps is a good possible fix.
Did any of the top 32 mention psionics in any way? I'm sure that was a turn-off. I was just thinking, by dropping all mention of psionics I probably could have included: "To make a concoction with similar effects, though a different appearance and taste, dissolve a pearl of power of 9th level ability in the bile of an adult or older spellcasting dragon."
I failed my Will save. I suppose I shouldn't use a d13. ;)
Hit me Clark! The rest of y'all too.
** spoiler omitted **
I know the name is lame and I have seen a couple of chalks and one door-making item, I'd like to see more eyes on this one.
Hey there, Daigle! I liked your item, but then I also liked Pan's Labyrinth. ;-) It has quite a "classic" feel to me, but it's something I'd be wary of giving to my players, as they'd be using it all the time, since it doesn't ever run out. Even with your restriction that it can only pass through 5-foot walls, it still offers too much opportunity to mess with the DM's plans, without much cost. And the name does need work. But, as I said, I still liked it.
goldomark,
This one had a couple problems. First, as you note, it is not technically a wondrous item.
Second, we all agreed that an item is not the place to be introducing new damage types.
Third, the judges also agreed that "trading Int/Wis/Cha for Str/Dex/Con is munchkinism at its finest".
But despite our rejection, here was my comment:
======
Clark said:
[prior comments omitted, summarized above]
That said, I gotta love a kid that swings for the fences. I respect that. And this item does it--psionic, well written, big idea, good format. But it falls flat in that it tries to do too much. I hate to punish a guy for overreaching, but this one does.
======
I hope that gives you something to work from.
Thank you for your answer. It is the best part of this contest.
I do have to say that ability burn is in the SRD.
The munchkin part hurts the most, but I did thought my item was risky powerwise. But your comment is great.
Atleast I know I can write in english (I speak french) and got the format right.
Was the name cool?
I agree with you that it is in the SRD. It is part of the psionic content. When we first discussed your item, that is what we put. I think in a later item we discussed that we were wrong about that when one of us (Woflgang I think) searched d20srd.org and found it.
Just goes to show you, when analyzing 850 items the judges can make mistakes.
Heck, in one thread I got all bent out of shape that a divine ability wasnt int he SRD and WB points out that it is and I had to say "oops!"
I dont remember if we actually went back and found yours after it had been rejected and we realized we were wrong about that ability burn issue. I think someone did (I didnt). And the consensus was our error on that wasnt the "make or break" for rejection. I may be confusing yours with another one though.
The munchkin part hurts the most, but I did thought my item was risky powerwise. But your comment is great.
Atleast I know I can write in english (I speak french) and got the format right.
Was the name cool?
I thought the name was cool and I thought it captured the theme of your item. Tight theme was real important to me.
Sorry about the munchkin comment. We use that word as a shorthand for really tinkering with things in a big power way that shouldnt be tinkered with. That was the word we used. I'm not sure we mean it in the same negative way that it is used generally. The three of us all knew what we meant. That is another reason not to post unedited comments. When reviewing 50 items a night you have to use a shorthand that your fellows understand that might not be precise and that are probably not as delicate as you would use in a public conversation.
It was an interesting item.
And, like I said, I really repsect people who swing for the fences and try to hit homeruns. Even if you fail, you took a big shot.
I do not have my item saved, however it was the Helm of the Minotaur
Think big horned helmet
essentially it granted the wearer two abilities
a) powerful charge - when you charge you do an extra 2d6 from the attack (like Rhino Hide armor)
b) Natural Cunning - immunity to Maze spell; track feat; +5 competence bonus to survival skill for the purposes of tracking; never flat-footed; cannot become lost
I acknowledge it essentially grants you the abilities of a Minotaur but I think they are interesting abilities that players would like to have and D&D has a tradition of items which grant animal powers.
Once I saw the "monster in a box = bad' comment I knew it wouldn't make the cut.
Any other comments, from judges or others.
Sorry about the munchkin comment. We use that word as a shorthand for really tinkering with things in a big power way that shouldnt be tinkered with. That was the word we used. I'm not sure we mean it in the same negative way that it is used generally. The three of us all knew what we meant. That is another reason not to post unedited comments. When reviewing 50 items a night you have to use a shorthand that your fellows understand that might not be precise and that are probably not as delicate as you would use in a public conversation.
Thanks for the clearification, but it didn't «hurt» that much, it is an expression more then a real feeling. ;-)
I don't want to argue with you on the rejection (life goes on), but I feel like I need to justify my choice.
I really thought that roleplaying was the greatest game balance for this item. If a player lowers is Intelligence to much he is going to become to dumb to follow the group's strategy and just bash the closes monsters.
A low Charisma will meen the player will have to play a character with no leadership and have to act blander then a nameless NPC.
The ability burn also ment that abusing the item would rapidly make a zombie out of the user.
Clark, since so many have asked, and you've kindly responded, would you mind critiquing my item? Thank you.
Would you be so kind as to critique mine as well? I'm very interested in seeing your, and the other judges, opinion on my item. Thanks!
Spoon of Dragons Diet
This silver spoon is of fine make its handle is made of ivory and bears intricate carvings of dragons. When the spoon is held and the command word spoken, any solid material scooped into the spoon becomes an edible paste.
The spoon can scoop through any non magical material as if it were made of soft clay. The spoon functions in this manner as long as the wielder consumes its contents, discarding a spoonful of material without eating it results in the spoon becoming inactive for 12 hours.
If used on living creatures the spoon does 1 hit point of permanent damage per scoop.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item; keen edge, polymorph; Price 8,500 gp
Clark, since so many have asked, and you've kindly responded, would you mind critiquing my item? Thank you.
Would you be so kind as to critique mine as well? I'm very interested in seeing your, and the other judges, opinion on my item. Thanks!
Spoon of Dragons Diet
This silver spoon is of fine make its handle is made of ivory and bears intricate carvings of dragons. When the spoon is held and the command word spoken, any solid material scooped into the spoon becomes an edible paste.
The spoon can scoop through any non magical material as if it were made of soft clay. The spoon functions in this manner as long as the wielder consumes its contents, discarding a spoonful of material without eating it results in the spoon becoming inactive for 12 hours.
If used on living creatures the spoon does 1 hit point of permanent damage per scoop.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item; keen edge, polymorph; Price 8,500 gp
I like the concept of this item, eat your way through a door, or into a chest. IMO however it allows players to bypass stuff too easily, anything that turns 'anything' into paste can lead to abuse. Plus you didn't give any detail of how fast you consume stuff and what volume someone can eat before getting full-- or maybe attends the vomitorium --where is vomit guy when you need him?
I guess I was looking at it from a logic point of view. Having something that slips in between the vest and cloak slots, and takes up neither, just doesn't seem right to me. It just seems like an unnecessary exception to make. But then, I'm an advocate of low-magic campaigns, so my opinion might be skewed that way.Adventurer's Mark
...it is similiar to a vest... It doesn't take a slot because I doubled the cost to have it *not* take a slot.
I specifically designed it to not require a slot-- yes, it probably could occupy a slot, but I thought it be more valuable if it didn't and I paid for it in cost.
...a series of powers I'd found through experience that every cleric in a fighter heavy party tends to wish he had... The protection from evil effect is meant to provide a combat bonus...I suppose I just wasn't thinking as much in terms of game design as I was in terms of a cool theme, rather like what you point out here:
...an item that I can see as the symbol of membership to a Prestige Class organization, or knightly order...I definitely see this potential, and I realize why you made it generic and not specific to any particular group. I would just like to see you take the extra step and give them item more character, maybe how a particular group use them. Make one power a little more quirk. Or keep the powers but flavour them so they are themed.
Of course, then you'd get dinged on too much backstory and not enough usefulness, but there you go! ;-)
Exactly. I thought about putting that sort of information into it, but then focused on descriptive explanation-- how it felt, what it was made of and how it was made. I thought that seemed more on par with the item descriptions in the SRD.
This probably wouldn't apply so well to an SRD-compliant item, but what if you built in teamwork benefits/synergies instead of individual-focused powers? Like the stuff from, what's that book, PH2? That would be really cool.
That would be interesting, but likely very expensive given the costs for adding to skills. This was meant to be a cost-effective item that every group would want to have at least a couple in their inventory. I think that is probably its biggest weakness-- it's not a "sexy" item, but rather fulfills one of those "must-have" positions that a character would keep throughout their career.
-Ben.
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This tiny earthenware pot contains a number of magical coins. It is kept hidden in a beautiful glade, which is also carved in detail on the pot.
When a coin is tossed in the air, anyone can make a minor wish to create a spell-like effect. The spell to be duplicated can be any wizard/sorcerer spell of 3rd level or lower. The spell effect allows saving throws and spell resistance as normal (but the save DC is that of a 5th level spell). The coin disappears as the spell happens.
Each pixie pot is a prized possession of the fey and holds a hidden secret. One coin (chosen at random by the DM) is cursed so that after it vanishes, the pot is sent back to its original hiding place. No magical means can detect the cursed coin.
Whenever a coin is removed it disappears after one hour.
Strong conjuration; CL 13th; Craft Wondrous Item, limited wish, teleport object; Price 6,825 gp + 3,750 gp per coin; Cost 3,413 gp + (1,875 gp + 38 XP) per coin; Weight ½ lb.
I'd like your opinions, gentlemen.
Having looked at the other threads, my own view is that my item has a name issue, and because it involves a minor wish spell also had game balance problems. Maybe my method of pricing was out to?
Whatever is said, know that I am proud of it's feel and will use it regardless. My shoulders are broad too but I would appreciate the community's views.
Cheers
I failed my Will save. I suppose I shouldn't use a d13. ;)
Hit me Clark! The rest of y'all too.
** spoiler omitted **
I know the name is lame and I have seen a couple of chalks and one door-making item, I'd like to see more eyes on this one.
Hey there, Daigle! I liked your item, but then I also liked Pan's Labyrinth. ;-) It has quite a "classic" feel to me, but it's something I'd be wary of giving to my players, as they'd be using it all the time, since it doesn't ever run out. Even with your restriction that it can only pass through 5-foot walls, it still offers too much opportunity to mess with the DM's plans, without much cost. And the name does need work. But, as I said, I still liked it.
It's chalk. It should run out. I'd give it oh... [scratches head]... 32 uses +/- 1d6 and call call it "Freleng's Magic Chalk" or "Chuck's Chalk" in honor of Chuck Jones or Friz Freleng and the Looney Tunes episodes where the artist intrudes and draws things to life.
Nah, 24. Stone really wears chalk down.
I would like to point out that this thread is best ever, while still making my head hurt...information overload.
You could make this thread subscriber only and charge for reading and posting it, and it would still be worth it :)
Oh, and if someone (eg. Clark) wants to comment on my item, Gem of Hidden Pestilence somewhere in page 7, feel free. I did not enter the contest to be treated with silk gloves, so harsh criticism is welcome.
I like the concept of this item, eat your way through a door, or into a chest. IMO however it allows players to bypass stuff too easily, anything that turns 'anything' into paste can lead to abuse. Plus you didn't give any detail of how fast you consume stuff and what volume someone can eat before getting full-- or maybe attends the vomitorium --where is vomit guy when you need him?Clark, since so many have asked, and you've kindly responded, would you mind critiquing my item? Thank you.
Would you be so kind as to critique mine as well? I'm very interested in seeing your, and the other judges, opinion on my item. Thanks!
Spoon of Dragons Diet
This silver spoon is of fine make its handle is made of ivory and bears intricate carvings of dragons. When the spoon is held and the command word spoken, any solid material scooped into the spoon becomes an edible paste.
The spoon can scoop through any non magical material as if it were made of soft clay. The spoon functions in this manner as long as the wielder consumes its contents, discarding a spoonful of material without eating it results in the spoon becoming inactive for 12 hours.
If used on living creatures the spoon does 1 hit point of permanent damage per scoop.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item; keen edge, polymorph; Price 8,500 gp
Thanks, I kind of figured I should have added more detail to the mechanics of consumption, and vomiting would be considered discarding so that would render its powers dead for 12 hours.
You're right it is a bit too wishy washy and could lead to arguments between DM and Players. I'll definitely clarify its functions before before throwing it into my campaign.
Thanks again werecorpse! :)
Please take a look! First spoiler tag is just the item itself.
Lantern of Light Long Lost
Watcher,
My problem with your item is that it's too open-ended, allowing it to be a story-breaker. Aside from short-circuiting most crime investigations, there are all sorts of other mysteries, plot points, and character backgrounds that can just be bust open with the lantern. A player in one of my 2nd-edition campaigns created a spell called reply the past that had pretty much the same effect, and it was problematic for this very reason. Even when you build in some control over what the PCs get to see - as with sensitivity to psychic impressions - they'll keep using the ability, and may become frustrated if they frequently don't get to see what they want! The lantern is particularly awkward in this regard, as it shows an image that is "directly relevant to the user's interest." What makes legend lore work is that it only reveals legendary information - which is generally the sort of information you will have prepared, and be happy to give to the players (not to mention that it can be highly inaccurate).
I appreciate the cool and spooky feel of using the lantern to peer into the past, but it's an item I'd never allow into one of my campaigns. Hope that helps!
DarklanternI agree the Lantern of Selective Perception is better written, but I do like that fact that yours has a drawback: the strong, tarry odour. This makes it seem more realistic and gives a reason not to use it in certain circumstances. I really wish more items made their owners actually think about when to use them, instead of making it a no-brainer. So I offer you a hearty "good job!"
Thanks, ironregime! My darklantern was initially closer in style to the lantern of selective perception, but then I gave some thought as to how it would actually work in play, and decided to add some more detail. I wanted a visual effect to show who was affected by the lantern, and also to clue in the PCs that it was magical. This tied in with the black flame only shedding magical light, and thinking about what would happen as that flame burnt away led to me including the slight drawback, which I felt was appropriate and could lead to some interesting decisions and moments in play. I was also happy with the way all the elements linked together.
Hey Clark,
I've already gotten some good feedback from this thread, but if you're still providing criticism as well I would love to hear what you and the other judges thought of my item. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, I sit on my local school board -- I've gotten pretty good at taking criticism ;-)
Looking forward to next years contest!
Thanks,
Steve
Loddyn’s Drum of Accompaniment
This small drum was created for the gnome bard Loddyn Hilltinker by his betrothed. Its wooden barrel is exquisitely inlaid with scenes of the two adventuring under the watchful eyes of the gnome gods. The drum’s head and carrying strap are made from a worg’s black hide.
This drum gives a +1 enhancement bonus to any Perform(Percussion instrument) checks made using it. The drum’s magic can be activated three times per day by playing a rhythm on it and making a Perform check. The drum then repeats the rhythm for 5-minutes for each multiple of 10 achieved on the check. If the drum is used with any bardic music ability, not requiring concentration, the bard is free to act while the drum continues playing. The performer also gets a +1 enchantment bonus to subsequent perform checks for each multiple of 10 on the initial percussion check. Thus a result of 20 yields 10-minutes of playing time and a +2 bonus on subsequent perform checks. The performer can stop the drum early time by tapping it.
Faint illusion; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 2 lb.
Contributor
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Clark,
When you get a chance, I'd like a critique of my item. I appreciate all the time and effort you've gone to in order to provide direct input on everyone's item (mine included).
When the first undead creatures appeared on Golarion, Serenrae wept. Her tears fell to Golarion as bright crystals and became potent weapons against the powers of darkness. After Serenrae’s worshippers used the tears to combat the undead blight, they created, and still create to this day, lesser copies.
When carried or worn (taking the amulet slot), a tear continuously emits light as the daylight spell. When the possessor of a tear needs to, she can throw the fragile crystal as a grenade-like weapon. On impact, the tear shatters releasing a sphere of searing light with an 80-foot radius. Undead creatures, fungi, mold, oozes and slimes take 15d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 22 half). If the creature is specifically harmed by sunlight and the save fails, the creature is destroyed. Other creatures sensitive to sunlight take 12d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 22 half). No other creatures take damage from the burst, but any failing the DC 22 Reflex save are blinded.
Strong evocation; CL 15th; Craft Wondrous Item, daylight, sunburst; Price 36,750 gp.
Thurburner Stone
Patrick,
You gave me some good feedback on my item, so I wanted to be sure I returned the favor. I really thought this was a good item and I've definitely pulled it out into my list of things to use later. I like that it is simple to use. I play with some really young players sometimes and they'll love being able to throw the big rock! OTOH, there a lot of things more advanced players can do with it. Its a great item that will appeal to both of my audiences.
I think it was said elsewhere on the board, but the shrinking aspect might be hard to work with and the fact that the players have to wait around for it, or lose it would be annoying. I would probably make it a single use item and reduce the cost accordingly. The name doesn't really grab me, but I can't think of anything better. If it was made by goblins it could be called "Little Big Rock," but that isn't better.
Thanks again for your feedback and I hope this helped you.
Steve
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Just to toss mine out for some feedback (I think I did some minor edits when posting, so I'm not positive this is word for word what I submitted):
Vest of the Magma Rage
This item promotes grandstanding on the part of a class already prone to it. The heat damage will affect the barbarian's companions as well as enemies, making this person very unloved, especially when they use the fireball. Anything that both promotes twinkish use and adds more fireballs is overbalancing.
Now if this was used in a superhero game, I'd believe it - in fact I've seen very similar things in play (built one of them if I recall correctly...). This may be the items greatest design weakness.
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Guardian's Amulet
Not a bad item, but I would have made the effect a bit more specific. "any individual with the same religion as the wearer" is a bit vague - worshippers of Set, Osiris, and Bast all have the same religion, but worship different gods. I'm also not crazy about items that give a blanket bonus, let alone two (AC and all saves). Finally, this item falls into the "useful, but not rockstar" category.
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Great thread, I wish I'd seen it sooner. I'll bite:
Scarf of Skills
I see 3 issues here:
1) Useable at range against others with no save.
2) +10 competence bonus, even if the original skill user does not have that many ranks in the skill.
3) The spell prereq's seem excessive and do not bear upon the effect created.
You already mentioned a need to specify spell slot, so I didn't repeat that. I'd reduce the bonus and require that the original skill holder have at least that many ranks before it would work. I'd also add a WILL save that must be overcome before this works.
Hmm. I'd also make it tiered at +2, +4, and +6 bonuses.
When a user begins to write on a Communiqué of the Archmage, a mental ping alerts the character possessing the scroll’s counterpart that a message is incoming.
I think it might have been better to use a phrase other than "mental ping", which seems a bit out of place. "The scroll is brought to the forefront of the counterpart owner's mind" or something similar.
Yeah, they concept is a little email-in-an-object, but written communication across distance is something any magic using world would be trying to address. There's probably a cooler concept to work this into, though, more flavor to it.
Maybe a telepathic message: "You got scroll" ;)
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Scarab of Weal and Woe
I think the real issue here is the additional paperwork involved in keeping track of what the DC was and when it is surpassed. Also, -20 for the indefinite future is mighty harsh. Final issue is with munchkin-ish players, it would be easy to get nigh infinite +20 bonuses out of this device. A fixed uses per day (say 3 uses) on top of the rest would go to stopping that.Yeah, there's a bit of record-keeping, but it's only one number -- it seems on par with tracking the charges left in a wand, to me, anyway. But it's a good point.
I'm not sure I see the munchkin angle -- is there some obvious abuse that I'm missing?
Thanks,
Roger
"I use my scarab on this DC 15 REF save for [spell X]. My next save is at -20. The next time is at +20."
As long as failing a save or making a check does not kill them, they get to use the +20 again. Rogues checking doors for traps will get many uses out of it an HOUR, let alone in one day. This is the munchkin abuse I'm thinking about. With no breaks other than >= previous DC, this item grants potentially unlimited +20 bonuses, which makes it broken.
If we'd have known you avatar was so hot we might have kept it :) I mean, after all we are just three guys...
No, seriously. Sorry, that was cheesy. (that is a great avatar, though. I havent seen it before.
I think the general feeling of the judges was: "This person should just play Council of Wyrms. It's quite a fun setting." You made a strong design choice and we respect that. The item just didnt resonate with us and did seem to really be for a very particular setting, which we thought was one that we, subjectively, didnt go in for. But I think you have a lot to feel good about with this item.
Clark,
Thanks for the avatar compliment.... :)(Big stupid grin on face)
I do really appreciate the feedback. It gives me something to go on for understanding.I admit that it isn't setting specific and I did mean to make it more generalized since I like items that can be used by anyone in any setting. I will say that when I was done with it what kept going through my head was Bad Guy Alert! Something to plague your poor helpless PC's with. I still wonder if I should have kept a portion of the original idea which was a small stone dragon statue (at least a different imagery than was portrayed in the final form). I struggled with the powers for the item a lot as well. I'd be curious to see your thoughts on the item if I redesigned it to fit more with the feel of my original idea. Otherway, this was fun and challenging...really made you have to also think about game play balance issues.
Of course now I get to play read and give comments to Clinton Boomer as he works on his country submission. (Roommate of mine). I will say that even though mine didn't get selected it is really neat to know someone who did...that creative little monkey. Let me tell you.
I think that this contest is a great way to find new talent and respect the fact that you guys were willing to do this and took the time to read through as many entries as you did. Kudos. I don't know if my brain could handle all of that. I have enough on my plate half the time with my job (full time horticulture educator). Looking forward to the contest again next year.
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Here's my entry...any and all comments, from judges or otherwise, appreciated!
Sneak’s Mirror
I'm guessing it was probably the complexity that did it in, though I'm sure others will find more problems.
I think simplifying the second paragraph to say "it has 20% of your hp, your BAB, can attack only once per round, and only does 1 point of damage" or something similar would have eliminated the complexity.
I like the invisibility or see through the eyes options. This item has many uses. Heh, heh, heh.
here's mine: I think it was boring, mainly... although I could see the Shoanti using this all the time.
Bracers of Focused Anger, Greater
These tanned leather bracers are interwoven with images of different races and strands of briars that irritate the skin and incite anger. The wearer of these bracers gains two uses of Rage per day per the spell; each Rage lasts 7 rounds. The wearer is also under the constant effect of a +2 enhancement bonus to attack and damage rolls against the favored foe of the bracers. These bracers usually keyed with orcs, goblins, or aberrations as their favored foe. The effects of Rage and the +2 to attack and damage rolls stack.
Moderate Enchantment; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, Rage, Heroism; Price 20,400 gp.
Hey guys. I showed up late to the party and didn't get to enter anything. That said, I was wondering if you guys woudn't mind taking a look at a little custom item I came up with.
Badge of Religious Fervor: This emblazoned holy symbol is made and utilized by the more militant religious recruiters, the badge of religious fervor not only makes the wearer seem much more imposing, but he may call upon the power of his god to protect him. This item goes by many different names depending on which temple it is created in but the abilities are all the same; a badge of Gorum’s strength is the same as a badge of Sarenrae’s light. Regardless of religious affiliation, anyone wearing a badge of religious fervor gains a +5 competence bonus on Intimidate checks. In addition, the wearer may call upon the holy power of the badge, granting him a +3 sacred (or profane for evil wearers) bonus to AC for 5 minutes at a time, usable once a day. For either of these abilities to work, the wearer must worship the deity whose holy symbol the badge is fashioned from. The badge of religious fervor takes up an item slot as a brooch and can also act as a holy symbol.
Faint transmutation and abjuration; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, shield of faith, creator must worship a deity; Price 4,500 gp.
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It's only fair I return the favor:
Thurburner StoneI like this a lot. I see this as a very useful, balanced item that makes slings interesting at high level. The only thing I don't like is the cost vs the duration to recover. 36,000 is a lot, and after use the PC either has to wait 24 hours to recover it, leave it behind, or come back later and hope it is still there. I thing I might have done is reduce the cost and the damage (to compensate for reduced cost) and add a command word to shrink it down over a minute. That ensures it can...
Yes, the cost was high. With the once per day use and the rock being unweildy, the cost should have been reduced. Hmm... need to do some more reading before next year...
Thank you for your comment - I very much appreciate the feedback.
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Here's mine. I suppose it has been put among the "item with no spark" category.
Helm of Savagery
** spoiler omitted **
I agree. A solid item, but not a rockstar item. Also, it seems to me that it duplicates an effect from something else, but durned if I can remember what. And that familiarity may be what sunk it.
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Well I'll give in. Curiosity is killing me.
Golem’s Knuckle
Where is that marble oval? "On the back of the palm" - is that the back of the hand or the base of the palm or inside the gauntlet?
Why does it work? Why 5x/day? Why "knuckle"? Why give PCs the ability to co-opt contsructs? Why is geas/quest necessary?
The description leaves way to many questions. Other than the position of the oval, I like the description. I get a real Hellboy vibe off of it.
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I think my entry may have suffered from being a bit boring and its very limited use. Anyway, judges and fellow board members please feel free to rip me a new one. Note this was the next to the last draft. I did one final edit (which I did not save) that made it exactly 200 words and changed some grammar here and there. I tried to recreate those changes but it may be a little off.
Lupine Whistle
Three powers but no differentiation in how they are invoked. If I just blow the whistle, which power happens? The first power seems tacked on and the effect on werewolves even more so.
I'd explain how the powers are activated and jetison the first power entirely. This would give a good, solid magic item.
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I didn't keep a copy of my entry, so I've tried to reconstruct it here. I recall that the actual entry had rules for a few more corner cases. But I'd like some feedback on it.
AERIAL PIPE
** spoiler omitted **
I like this item. It is a good solid item. But it's not a rockstar item. I see it as part of the 250 items Clark talked about earlier in the thread.
This pipe and those replay drums (can't remember the actual item name) would make for an interesting musical/dance troupe. Good role play opportunities.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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here's mine: I think it was boring, mainly... although I could see the Shoanti using this all the time.
Bracers of Focused Anger, Greater
These tanned leather bracers are interwoven with images of different races and strands of briars that irritate the skin and incite anger.
Good day, Sobelia. Rather than discuss this in terms of the Superstar competition, I thought I'd respond as a DM or player, looking to include the item into my campaign.
I thought the description was very nice. I imagine that the images are of the "favored enemy" race and aren't a bit flattering. (I think I can creep a party out by having an enemy show up with a set of these bracers targetting their own race.) I would add some other, minor effects, such as a +2 penalty on any Charisma-based rolls by members of the "favored enemy" race on the wearer, and certainly some penalty if someone were to try to wear BoFA targetting his own race.
The wearer of these bracers gains two uses of Rage per day per the spell; each Rage lasts 7 rounds. The wearer is also under the constant effect of a +2 enhancement bonus to attack and damage rolls against the favored foe of the bracers. ...
I don't have my SRD handy; does this stack with the Ranger's favored foes, or with the "bane" property of weapons? If it did stack with both, I think it might provide a way to massively large bonuses.
Thank you for submitting this for our perusal.
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There are a lot of great items here, and I can see why I didn't make the cut. I'm pretty sure I made one of those technically sound but boring items. Let me know what you think:
Tears of the Sun
Flavor text is cool, but it does WAY too much damage. 15d6, auto-destroy, 12d6, or nothing is extreme. Kobolds are sensitive to sunlight. Why would this do 12d6 to them? If it's just that bright, it should do damage to everyone, not just groups that oppose PCs.
I'd recommend toning down the damage and removing the auto-kill feature. This should bring the cost down as well.
All right, here I go. Here's my item.
Amulet of Lightning Strikes
Slot Amulet; Price
Description
This amulet consists of a section of used lightning rod wrapped in copper wire. When worn the amulet provides the wearer with resistance to electricity 10. Upon command electricity will arc from the amulet to the point of impact of an Unarmed Strike or slam attack, dealing an extra 1d6 electrical damage (as per the Shocking trait); 3 times per day for a maximum of 10 rounds each usage. Once per day as a standard action, the wearer may internalize the electrical power of the amulet, accelerating their movements and allowing the wearer to use haste for ten rounds. Doing this depletes the amulet, rendering it inert for 24 hours when the haste effect ends (cannot use either power during that time, although the resistance still applies). The wear may use the shocking ability while using the haste ability but when the haste ends the shocking does as well.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, lightning bolt, haste, resist elements; Cost
I left out the costing info because I couldn't find the version that had it. I gotta say that costing wonderous items is a real pain.