Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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There are a lot of great items here, and I can see why I didn't make the cut. I'm pretty sure I made one of those technically sound but boring items. Let me know what you think:
Tears of the Sun
When the first undead creatures appeared on Golarion, Serenrae wept. Her tears fell to Golarion as bright crystals and became potent weapons against the powers of darkness. After Serenrae’s worshippers used the tears to combat the undead blight, they created, and still create to this day, lesser copies.
When carried or worn (taking the amulet slot), a tear continuously emits light as the daylight spell. When the possessor of a tear needs to, she can throw the fragile crystal as a grenade-like weapon. On impact, the tear shatters releasing a sphere of searing light with an 80-foot radius. Undead creatures, fungi, mold, oozes and slimes take 15d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 22 half). If the creature is specifically harmed by sunlight and the save fails, the creature is destroyed. Other creatures sensitive to sunlight take 12d6 points of damage (Reflex DC 22 half). No other creatures take damage from the burst, but any failing the DC 22 Reflex save are blinded.
Strong evocation; CL 15th; Craft Wondrous Item, daylight, sunburst; Price 36,750 gp.
Does anybody think it's appropriate to post losing items from Round 1 in the same section as the winners?
Here's my submission:
Arquebus of Pillows
Spoiler:
The Arquebus of Pillows (only one is known to exist) looks like a standard arquebus. Despite showing signs of wear, to one skilled in the manufacturer of such items, it appears to be in working condition. However, if magic is detected, moderate conjuration magic reveals that this arquebus is unusual. When fired, the Arquebus unleashes a torrent of 55 to 100 (50 + 5d10) pillows of random shapes and sizes. Once created, the pillows are permanent. And though they are bright, colorful and fluffy, are quite mundane. The Arquebus fires in a cone-shaped spread and has a range of 25’. Creatures in the pillow-affected area suffer decreased movement – treat as difficult terrain; movement is halved. Furthermore, creatures in the area of the blast must make a Reflex save DC 10, or be dazed for 1 round. Unlike a standard arquebus, the Arquebus of Pillows requires no special ammunition or powders to ignite. It can only be fired once per round, but otherwise can be fired as many times as desired.Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, minor creation, creator must have 5 ranks in Craft(sewing); Price 12,000gp; Weight 10 lbs.
If only one exists then would it not be an artifact?
This is also kind of goofy. It'd work in some games but certianly not in others. I'd not let this into my game personally but something sort of similar that did not have the feeling of being part of a comedy act would be interesting.
Something that might be kind of fun with an item like this is have it give you a couple of options. So have it have the ability to make terrain hazardous or make it slippery like the grease spell and maybe a thrid option that effects movement, maybe wind wall or something else that fits the theme.
You'd need to set uses per day or something so that this did not get used constantly I would think. Effecting terrain is neat but the item could become more of a curse then a bonus to the game if it happened in every combat.
Lantern of Light Long Lost:+ 3 pages of concept and supporting material.
This is way to much. If the judges had accepted your item and rejected mine I'd be screaming bloody murder. No fair writing a novel to support your item.
Kerchief of Restoration
Spoiler:
This fine 24"x24" square of silk when wrapped around an object has the same effect as the 2nd level cleric spell make whole with the exception that the object must be completely covered by the kerchief for the magic to operate. As with the spell, the item may fix broken objects that have been completely sundered. The kerchief of restoration may repair magic items, but does not restore magic abilities that have been lost due to breaking.Kerchiefs of Restoration are commonly used by artisans as a labor saving device, but have found their way into the repertoire of illusionists and stage magicians. They are particularly popular in realms where more powerful and impressive magic is rare.
Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, make whole; Price 2,700 gp; Weight 5 oz
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Not a flashy whiz-bang item, but something I thought might be useful to low-level players. This item was inspired after having multiple weapons break on my characters in areas where locating a new weapon or crafting/fixing the one I had would be nearly impossible. It is essentially less powerful than the spell it replicates due to the lesser area of affect, but can be used by non-spellcasters and has no limit on uses per day.
Your items break? How? There are, like, four creatures in the game that can break items. I suppose you could have an evil DM that runs around sundering your stuff but does not seem likely.
I think your spot on with this being just a little too mundane.
Mirror of Retrieved Events:
Spoiler:This item appears to be a simple hand-held mirror with an iron setting. A character holding the mirror can use it for scrying, as the spell (Will DC 17 negates), with these alterations:• The character sets a condition for who the mirror will attempt to record based on a single event tied to a specific person, place, or item (ex. whoever next speaks to the king; the first person to leave the Dark Catacombs; or whoever opens the Abyssal Gate). The person fulfilling the condition becomes the spell’s target.
• Once the condition is fulfilled, the mirror tries to scry on the target exactly as if scrying had been cast at the moment of the triggering event. If successful, a viewable recording of the scry attempt remains until a new condition is set.
• The message spell does not function through the mirror.
Moderate divination; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Items, contingency, scrying (plus any additional spells put on the item); Price: 54,000 gp; Weight 1/2lb.Mirror Type Market Price
Base Mirror
54,000 gpMirror with see invisibility
62,000 gpMirror with detect thoughts (Will DC 14 negates)
63,000 gpMirror with true seeing
92,000 gp
I like this item a lot. Kudos.
Hey, what do I have to lose? :)
Comments, compliments, criticism....I'll take it all. I'm just curious as to others opinions on this one.
Crux Draconum
This vicious, clawed gauntlet is hated by Dragon-kind. This item is activated by clutching the Draconis fundamentum of a recently (no more than 1 round per HD) slain True Dragon, imprisoning the dragon’s soul and storing charges equal to the dragon’s HD.
The wearer gains the imprisoned soul’s elemental subtype, gaining the appropriate vulnerabilities, immunities, and/or movement mode, at speed equal to the wearer’s base speed. As a standard action, the wearer may use the following abilities, DC = 10 + ½ wearers HD + wearer’s Cha modifier:
· Produce a 60’ cone, dealing 1d6 energy damage per wearer’s HD. The energy type is determined by the imprisoned soul’s energy breath weapon. Reflex half. (2 charges)
· Duplicate a Dragon’s Frightful Presence ability for 1 minute, with a radius of 30’. (1 charge)
· Cast Draconic Might (SC) on the wearer. (3 charges)
The Draconis fundamentum withers as charges are expended, but the gauntlet cannot be removed, nor the fundamentum released, until all charges are expended or the wearer is killed. Either result destroys the dragon’s soul, and all benefits are lost.
Strong Necromancy and Transmutation; CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Item, Soul Bind, Draconic Might; Price 175,000 gp.
Pastwatch Orb
Spoiler:
Colloquially known as a sphere of influence, this 5-inch diameter clear crystal sphere has the power to reveal our greatest mistakes and most stunning triumphs. By gazing at a creature, living or dead, through the orb and speaking the command word, the character mentally relives the event in the subject's life most responsible for molding her into the person she became. Each event takes at a minute to view, though longer or more complex events can take longer, at DM discretion. If the character continues concentrating after the event is complete, the next more influential event is relived, until a maximum of three events have been shown.At the characters discretion, on initial activation, the orb can instead project an image of the event into a 10-ft cube around the character. The illusion is complete with auditory, thermal, and olfactory sensation, though it can, in no way, be mistaken for reality.
Each scene viewed mentally grants the character a +1 to all Charisma-based skill checks made regarding the subject for 30 days. Watching all three scenes grants sufficient information to unambiguously identify the subject for casting true resurrection.
Strong divination; CL: 13th; 56,000 gp; Craft Wondrous Item, legend lore, major image
Well I did not like this on the first read through. Seemed like a TV set to me but its kind of grown on me for its uniqueness. The +1 to charisma checks targeting the individual is rather neat.
One problem I would have using this as a DM is that this item can require me to work out an exceptionally detailed history of an NPC on the spot. I never know when they player is going to whip this thing out and the moment they do they've painted me into a corner. Now I have to devise a novel about NPC X and I can only stall by running to the bathroom so many times. This item makes life hard on the DM.
Good concept for an effect but your trying to make me work to hard.
Ear Cuff of ShelynI suspect this may have been labelled a swiss army item...
I do detect a hint of theme to it, but it still seems like a bit of a grab bag to me, some (seemingly) random powers added to a (seemingly) random object.
So I guess I'd suggest focusing in on one really cool aspect? I dunno.
Thanks Iron - I wasn't able to get too many opinions on it before sending it in. The effects and item refer mostly to Shelyn's portfolio.
Tears of the Sun
Awesome item, truly.
Lantern of Light Long Lost:+ 3 pages of concept and supporting material.This is way to much. If the judges had accepted your item and rejected mine I'd be screaming bloody murder. No fair writing a novel to support your item.
Jeremy Jeremy...
Where did you get that idea?
The design notes were never ever submitted to the contest. I posted them only to this thread. I wrote them for fun. And I pretty much had made that really clear on the first page of this thread. Go look, I invite you. Here on the 11th page or 12th page when I reposted it, I didn't make that explicit, but I thought it was obvious. Nobody else misunderstood.
In fact, when I asked Clark to take a look at the item itself, I posted a disclaimer that the design notes were optional read, even for peer review.
Come on man, don't make this personal.
Stuff
Good to see you Watch :)
Lantern of Light Long Lost:+ 3 pages of concept and supporting material.This is way to much. If the judges had accepted your item and rejected mine I'd be screaming bloody murder. No fair writing a novel to support your item.
Jeremy Jeremy...
Where did you get that idea?
The design notes were never ever submitted to the contest. I posted them only to this thread. I wrote them for fun. And I pretty much had made that really clear on the first page of this thread. Go look, I invite you. Here on the 11th page or 12th page when I reposted it, I didn't make that explicit, but I thought it was obvious. Nobody else misunderstood.
In fact, when I asked Clark to take a look at the item itself, I posted a disclaimer that the design notes were optional read, even for peer review.
Come on man, don't make this personal.
Well if you never submitted the design notes then I got no complaint. I got the impression 'cause you include the design notes in the post on the item.
Good to see you Watch :)
You too Man!
I replied to you in that off topic thread!
I've been around other places on the board too.. I needed last night to get over myself.
I'll bite:
Time Shifter
Spoiler:
By winding a tiny knob on this clockwork pocket watch, the user can literally store and release time.Once per day, the user may spend up to three full-round actions winding the watch and counting aloud the seconds being stored. The user may break up these three full-rounds as she chooses (e.g., she may wind the watch three times that day for one full-round), but the burst of speed must be used immediately after the user stops winding. If the user is interrupted in the process of winding the watch, she must make a Concentration check as if casting a 9th level spell to avoid releasing the knob and being forced to restart the process.
Once wound, the watch face pulses with a faint green light. The stored time must be released as a free action at the beginning of the user’s next turn or the effect is wasted, counting against the number of uses per day. Upon release, the user may take a number of additional full-round actions on her turn equal to the number of rounds spent winding the watch.
Strong transmutation; CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Item, time stop; Price 55,080 gp; Weight Negligible.
Basically just a time stop effect, so no big surprise that it didn't make the cut.
I kind of don't get it.
Why would I want to spend a round so that on the following round I can take actions that don't use up a round?
Obviously this can't be used in combat so that leaves me feeling its sort of like invisibility or something. Basically I could spend three rounds winding this up and then speed through the enemy castle for three rounds so fast that I can't be stopped.
Honestly I'm just not really sure where this item is coming from or what its supposed to do for me.
Apparently there is something similar in the Planar Handbook. One of the few WotC books I never even opened. Apparently WotC can still work their evil upon me. Oh well.
Boots of Shifting
Spoiler:
These sturdy boots are always made of thick, heavy leathers clad with clasps and buckles of iron.
Strange metallic rods of lodestone are embedded into the hard soles of the boots. These unusual properties when combined with magic give the wearer of these boots the ability to ignore gravity for a time. For 13 rounds per day, the wearer may change their gravitational orientation to make any surface "down" and is endowed with Freedom of Movement. This allows the wearer to charge, run, fight, or take any other standard or full action on an unusual surface, such as a wall or ceiling. The wearer is also protected by a Feather Fall effect that activates any time they fall. This means the wearer could change their orientation to fall upwards and 'land' on a ceiling without being harmed. Activating these boots is a free action that may be taken once per round.
Strong Transmutation; CL 13th; Craft Wondrous Item, Feather Fall, Reverse Gravity, Freedom of Movement; Price 53,100gp
I like this item and I think its a really cool concept.
But what it does is spread out almost haphazardly through the description which makes it kind of hard to read or find out what the item does. If my players had this they'd keep forgetting that this item does not negate hazardous terrain (so far as I can tell anyway- and maybe it should) and would therefore be inadvertently cheating.
Also 13 rounds? What am I, an accountant? No item should make me keep track of 13 uses in a day. 3 rounds or 5 rounds would probably be a better choice here.
But yeah - reverse gravity to go stick to the ceiling...thats pretty cool.
Here is my entry. If you could give me a critique, Clark (or anyone else for that matter) I would really appreciate it. Let me know what about my item got it cut from the top tier.
I think it is awesome that you are putting the time in to do this for us. I’m sure it is a good game design exercise for all of us.
Communiqués of the Archmage
This pair of identical scrolls each comes in its own ornate case. The cases and rollers are made of precious materials and embossed with a symbol or coat of arms. New scrolls begin blank and are unremarkable except for the backside’s slight metallic sheen. The parchment is durable and water resistant.
The front surface of a Communiqué will accept any material that leaves a mark and whatever is written will appear identically on the other scroll. In this way, they provide two way-written communications over any distance on the same plane. When a user begins to write on a Communiqué of the Archmage, a mental ping alerts the character possessing the scroll’s counterpart that a message is incoming.
Leaders often give Communiqués to subordinates and adventurers frequently use them to coordinate between parties, but another use of the Communiqués is in the sending of spells to remote spellcasters. Scribing a spell on a Communiqué of the Archmage works like scribing a scroll and requires the same costs. When a spell is activated from either Communiqué, the writing disappears from both.
Moderate evocation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, sending; Price 10,000 gp (for a pair); Weight 1lb.
Since Sebastian posted, I'll also post mine:
Circlet of Takasi
Spoiler:
This cursed silver handband is named after an elven obscenity. Originally crafted for a long forgotten ambassador, the item's original purpose is still intact, granting its user a +10 bonus on Knowledge (geography) and Knowledge (history) checks. The ambassador's betrayal of his homeland triggered a secondary effect woven in by his sorcerous countrymen. Anytime the wearer attempts to communicate the proper name of any person, place or thing he will instead state nothing but profanity for 1d4 minutes.Faint transmutation; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse; Price 12,000 gp.
+10 seems to high.
How is the DM supposed to adjudicate proper names usage if the player does not role play the exact scene? Your making me play your preferred style of D&D in order to use this in my game so this item has a meta-game issue as well.
What the heck:
Blessed Bracers
Spoiler:
This pair of heavy vambraces is made of leather with steel plates, decorated with emblems of lawful and good deities.
Once per day, a Lawful Good wearer can shout the command words inscribed on the insides of the gauntlets in Celestial, “strike true against my foes” to imbue the wearer’s natural weapons or any melee weapons wielded with a bless weapon effect (meaning that they count as having a +1 enchantment for the purposes of striking evil creatures with damage reduction or incorporeal creatures, and that any critical threats against evil creatures are automatically confirmed to critical hits.). This ability lasts for 4 minutes.
If the wearer has the ability to smite evil, they may activate this effect by spending a smite attempt for the day (without gaining the smite bonuses).
Faint Transmutation; CL 4th; Craft Wondrous Item, bless weapon, creator must be good; Price 1,500 gp.
I had to go look up bless weapon in the SRD in order to understand your item. You kind of maimed the bless weapon description in your write up, specifically your missing words and concepts. Whats a +1 Enhancement? Why does it turn into +1 Enchantment? I suspect you meant a +1 enhancement bonus and the +1 enchantment might have been an error introduced when you spell checked this.
The part about DR confused the heck out of me until I looked up bless weapon as well.
That bit where your shouting command words - what kind of an action is that? Command words are normally standard actions I believe but does this mean I can't use my gauntlets and attack in the same round. Certainly does not seem like thats the idea behind this item but the mechanics on using this item are never made clear.
Also in the end this is basically just bless weapon. Not actually bad but not a very exciting.
Why not?
Vudran Cups
Spoiler:
A set of three shallow wooden bowls, carved with exquisite Vudran
designs. Each bowl is 3" in diameter and about 1 1/4" high. When an
object is completely concealed by a bowl, and the command word spoken,
the object is transported to an extraplanar space. A second command
word brings the object back under the cup of the speaker's choice.
Only one object may be stored in this fashion at a time. A Vudran cup
set must be complete (all three bowls within 4 feet of each other) to
function.Cups of finer materials, such as ivory and gold, also exist, crafted
for and by Vudran Rajputs. Their costs should be adjusted upwards
accordingly.faint conjuration, Caster Level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous
Item, prestidigitation; Market Price: 1850 gp; Cost to Create: 1800 GP
and 74 XP; Weight: <1 lb.
Whats a Vudran design? I tried Googling this and got nothing concrete.
This item lets you cheat at shell games? I'm not really sure the point. Seems a little overpriced as well.
Lok’s Own Coin:
Spoiler:Lok was a cleric of Lady Luck, a gambler and a maker of magic coins. This silver coin was his favorite. Unfortunately for Lok, fellow gamblers soon became tired of his continual winnings and lynched him. His coin, and imitations of it, crop up from time to time in gambling dens and treasure hoards alike.
The bearer of Lok’s Own Coin continually gains a +10 competency bonus to skill checks made for games of chance and a +2 dodge bonus to AC. Three times per week the bearer may flip the coin to answer a yes/no question as per the Augury spell . Heads signifies yes and tails signifies no.Divination; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have 5 ranks in Knowledge (games), dodge, Augury; Price 11,000gp
No such thing as Knowledge(games). Profession (Gambler) would work though.
Also can you have feat and skill requirements for magic item creation? I don't recall ever seeing that before.
The bonus to AC seems out of place and this breaks the near cardinal rule that says 'thou shalt not make a magic item that grants a dodge bonus to AC'
This really is an armour bonus item that happens to have the side effect of being useful should you end up gambling and occasionaly answers questions. The flipping aspect is neat and the bonus to gambling is interesting but the AC bonus is so overpowering that it makes everything else just so much flavour text. Better to get rid of the AC and have a much cheaper magic coin.
Thurburner Stone
Spoiler:
This item appears to be a smooth rock one inch in diameter that is slightly heavier than expected. When thrown or fired from a sling, the rock grows to five feet in diameter in flight, maintaining its initial velocity and target, doing 6d6 in damage, DC 15 Reflex save for half damage. Once it impacts its target, it behaves as any other five foot diameter boulder. Over the next 24 hours it will slowly shrink until it returns to its one inch size. It will then be ready to be used again.This stone can be used to block passages or as impromptu artillery, although five foot diameter boulders indoors damage wooden floors and, if above the first floor, are likely to fall through to lower floors, damaging whatever they fall on. Halflings are the primary makes of Thurburner Stones as defensive items, but do not use them often – five foot diameter boulders are ideal for (surviving) attackers to hide behind.
Faint transmutation; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item; shrink item; Price 36,000 gp.
Things I forgot in my submission:
1) The Reflex save. The damage for the rock is based on the catapult in the SRD and I forgot to add the save in my submission. D'oh! (I added it here.)2) The xp cost to make the item. I just saw that.
3) The spark the winners had. Magic item creation is my weak point and reading through the winners, I see the spark the judges were looking for.
24 hours before I can take my boulder away and this costs 36,000 gp?
Seems pretty brutal. I mean I can see the fun of throwing a boulder and all but after I use this I got to hang around to get my magic item back. Won't that piss off the other players in the party and slow the game up?
You could probably get nearly the same effect game wise and maybe even add some interesting choices if you made it so that the boulder took 1 or 5 minutes to shrink. Thats enough game time that it can be used to block passages and it can leave players in a conundrum about using this when being chased but its not so long that it makes the item virtually unusable for a standard group of adventurers.
Communiqués of the Archmage
I actually use something similar to this in my game for the party to report missions and fees back to their guild. This probably fell under the magical version of e-mail.
I actually use something similar to this in my game for the party to report missions and fees back to their guild. This probably fell under the magical version of e-mail.Communiqués of the Archmage
Yeah, I introduced these to my group years ago, before cell phones had text messaging. My group has effectionally refered to these items as "pager scrolls" for years. There is accually more I Would have liked to have included in the item description but 200 words is not a lot.
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Thank you, Clark, for taking the time to critique us. Thank you to all the fine folks involved in this contest, judges, entrants and commenters. This is the most interesting thing going on in my life, and its really stirring up my creativity! I can't wait to get the chance to see the entries for Round 2!
When a user begins to write on a Communiqué of the Archmage, a mental ping alerts the character possessing the scroll’s counterpart that a message is incoming.
I think it might have been better to use a phrase other than "mental ping", which seems a bit out of place. "The scroll is brought to the forefront of the counterpart owner's mind" or something similar.
Yeah, they concept is a little email-in-an-object, but written communication across distance is something any magic using world would be trying to address. There's probably a cooler concept to work this into, though, more flavor to it.
Does anyone have any more feedback on my entry? Constructive criticism is strongly needed.
Dawnhelm?
It seems to be built with a specific purpose in mind, a campaign tailored item, and as such seems pretty hard to critique. I certainly can't make any technical comments because I am still learning 3.5 and play pretty loose on mechanics with the items I create.
As far as the contest goes I suppose someone has mentioned both that it is armour and that it is not an item of extraordinary creativity or wierdness as many of those selected for the top 32 are. Sorry if I have repeated others but I can't read all the crap in this thread.
I have something similar but slightly weaker in my campaign, except that it is a paladin's sentient weapon and the owner must fulfill the weapon's purpose for it to work, with the purpose reading like a short and specific code of conduct. This is kind of a dirty trick because I have written it so that the paladin must more or less follows the campaign trajectory I have calculated in advance if she wants to use a sweet weapon.
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As far as the contest goes I suppose someone has mentioned both that it is armour and that it is not an item of extraordinary creativity or wierdness as many of those selected for the top 32 are. Sorry if I have repeated others but I can't read all the crap in this thread.
The thing that is getting me confused is the definition of "Armor". I've always thought that full suits, breastplates, chain shirts, etc. counted as "Armor", and that helms, bracers, boots, etc. counted as "Items". Was this contest figured differently?
Oh, and Kruelaid, no problem. Any criticism is good criticism.
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The thing that is getting me confused is the definition of "Armor". I've always thought that full suits, breastplates, chain shirts, etc. counted as "Armor", and that helms, bracers, boots, etc. counted as "Items". Was this contest figured differently?
Your item is definitely a wondrous item and not armour. There’s plenty of precedent in the srd for items such as helms being wondrous items, and as it does not provide an armour or shield bonus to AC, I don’t think the judges would have discarded it as magical armour.
I guess I was a bit quiet on the last post... (can one be quiet on a text based mode of communication?) But anyway I'd like any feedback anyone could give me on the "Golem's Knuckle" Item I threw up there. That would be awesome.
Here's mine, I know it's anachronistic and might be perceived as a "spell in a box." Clark also mentioned that he doesn't like magical tape recorders, ipods, and the like (which it isn't, but on quick inspection could be seen as such). I had hoped that my item contained enough inherent RP potential to make it more than just a mere spell effect, but alas, no dice.
Sorrow Box
These eerie music boxes are usually contained inside of small, ornate iron chests. Upon opening the lid, whirring pins on a revolving cylinder strike the tuned teeth of a stamped metal plate inside. A long forgotten and melancholy tune often sounds from the box. Without warning however, the disturbing sounds of some recorded tragedy - a mother drowning her infant, the last gasps of an innocent man swinging from the gallows, etc., are replayed along with the melody to the unwitting audience. A permeating sadness inevitably creeps into the souls of those that listen.
The entire song takes 6 rounds to complete, and each round it plays its forlorn melody, each affected creature takes a cumulative -1 penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, ability checks, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls, up to a maximum of -6 after 6 rounds of play. These penalties last for 7 minutes. The entire melody need not be played all at once, but after the song has finished, a Sorrow Box requires one full day to rewind itself.
Moderate enchantment; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, crushing despair; Price 12,650 gp; Weight 5 lb.
Eyebite,
I really liked this item. In fact, I liked it alot.
You know what held us up? We felt the reference to a mother drowning her child was too graphic for this competition. You would be right to say "but you never said anything about that!" True, and you may note that such content restrictions are in the round 2 rules. Maybe that is our fault. But we felt a Superstar would not have gone there.
But I have to tell you, that was some of the strongest writing in my mind. It moved me. It does even when I read it again now. You have to remember, I am a former prosecuting attorney. I have heard those kinds of tapes and I shudder to recall them. You really hit me with your item.
Dang that is a powerfuly written item. Oh man.
The others didnt quite agree.
But here are the [edited] comments.
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Clark said:
Creepy. But inappropriate.
I love the writing. Man, it affected me. Maybe because as a prior prosecutor I have actually heard recordings of people being killed or raped and it brought back memories for me. I just cant see my D&D, which is decidedly PG13, appropriately having an item that references a mom drowning her babies. That is just too sick. Reject for that reason, but not for design. it is a good item otherwise from a design standpoint. Real good, in fact.
Clark posted again:
Man, that is well-written. If you two like it, I say keep it. The mechanics are really great too. I love this item. I just wish it didnt make those references. That is too macabre for PG13 D&D. This sounds like XXXX or perhaps XXXXX. But it cant be because they have front cover credits on books. Man, this sounds like something XXXX would create. No one does "creepy" like that guy. I keep coming back to this item. It is really really good.
Wolfgang posted:
I think it's hitting you harder than me; this seems over the top to me, both flavorwise (really, really not PG 13) and mechanically. -1 to attack, saves, checks, and damage: all of that for 12,000 gp? Crushing despair gives just -2. This is a bit uber for me. Also, the mechanics mention "affected creatures", but don't give a radius of effect or even seem to allow for a save. I'm leaning to reject on this. Erik?
Erik posted:
I think we've got to reject it on mechanical grounds. I have to say, though, that the idea of terrible, freakish recordings playing over the melancholy sound really got to me.
First of all, in the middle of a battle who is going to be able to hear this thing? It should be an item held closely to the ear of a psychopath to give him a little bonus, or something to warm a lich's heart. It shouldn't be a combat item. I'm going to reject it.
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You can see how much I liked it.
Here's mine...its a bit munchkiny, but I thought the restrictions it had, and the flavor made up for it. Let me know what you guys think...
Gauntlets of Elvenkind
Spoiler:
Lesser Gauntlets
These are made from wyvern hide and enable the wearer to ignore distractions more easily, granting a +5 competence bonus to Concentration checks. When worn by any elf as a set with a Cloak and Boots of elvenkind, the gauntlets enhance an elf’s natural resistance to magic. The wearer that makes a successful Fortitude or Will save against a spell can ignore any special secondary effects those spells would normally have.Moderate transmutation; CL 6th; Craft Wonderous Item, Bear’s Endurance, Owl’s Wisdom, creator must be an elf; Price 7,000 gp.
Greater Gauntlets
Rarely seen, these light gauntlets were crafted of the finest mithral and were so well made that they do not interfere with spellcasting. The gauntlets act in all ways like the lesser ones do. However, they also can Empower or Extend a spell of 3rd level or lower 1/day each. If the wearer is an elf and wears Elven Chain then the wearer can produce a protection from arrows spell 2/day.
Moderate transmutation and abjuration; CL 6th; Craft Wonderous Item, Extend Spell, Empower Spell, Bear’s Endurance, Owl’s Wisdom, Protection from Arrows, creator must be an elf; Price 14,000 gp; Weight 2 lb.
Special secondary spell effect, what (mechanically speaking) is that? How does a player or DM know if this item applies to a spell in question? How do you decide if you should roll a fortitude or wisdom save?
This item would require one to make some kind of house rule pertaining to 'secondary special effects' for a whole plethora of spells. That is a lot of work just to have an item in the game.
Maybe granting spell resistance as the spell would have been a better idea.
Not to mentioned Augment Summoning, from the PH. My current wizard PC loves this feat. :-)Headdress of the Shaman
The line about the myths seems out of place. If this is supposed to be an item to enhance nature summoning, then the undead/planar description just doesn't seem to fit.
The goal was to give Augment Summoning 3 times per day. Then be able to speak to them so you do not have your dire badger attacking your mage because he accidently shoots him. (our mage almost got killed)
I saw it as a series of head pieces. The headdress of the Shaman for Summon Natures Ally. The one made of bones would be for Summon Undead Spells. The one made from the planar elements would be for Summon Monster. A headdress for each type fo summon spell.
The lesser, normal, greater aspect acts a lot like meta magic rods. Since you can view Augment Summon as a meta magic feat with about a +1 since the effect is about the same as an empowered spell.
The hard part on the pricing was coming up with giving a PC a feat that has a prereq feat. If you go with the mass bull str and mass bear endurance the price of the item goes through the roof though.
I know I had debated about keeping in the rumors of other headdresses, and I can honestly say I think I took that part out, but am not sure. Oh well... better luck next time.
If there is a next time. :)
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
aka Eyebite
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Eyebite,
I really liked this item. In fact, I liked it alot.
You know what held us up? We felt the reference to a mother drowning her child was too graphic for this competition. You would be right to say "but you never said anything about that!" True, and you may note that such content restrictions are in the round 2 rules. Maybe that is our fault. But we felt a Superstar would not have gone there.
Ah, thank you Clark! And thank you for the insight, that's fantastic. I truly appreciate it.
I think the judges' rationale regarding my item was completely fair, and to be honest, completely on point.
I actually use something similar to this in my game for the party to report missions and fees back to their guild. This probably fell under the magical version of e-mail.Communiqués of the Archmage
You are right.
Good stuff, here it is again:
Elixir of Rejuvenated Mind
Spoiler:
This sparkling, sharp-tasting cordial restores one already cast arcane spell slot of each level that the drinker can use. If the drinker manifests psionic powers, he regains 2 already used power points per manifester level.
If the drinker prepares arcane spells, the spell slots return as open slots. The drinker may prepare additional spells in these slots by studying his spellbook for at least 15 minutes.
If the character has drunk an elixir or greater elixir of rejuvenated mind in the past 24 hours, he also takes 2d4 Constitution damage.
Greater: As well as the above effects, a greater elixir of rejuvenated mind restores one additional already used arcane spell slot (a total of two slots) for each level at which the drinker gains three or more spell slots and restores an additional 10 power points.
If the character has drunk an elixir or greater elixir of rejuvenated mind in the past 24 hours, he also takes 2d8 Constitution damage.
Faint transmutation (moderate transmutation); CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Item, fox’s cunning (+mage’s lucubration); Price 2,850gp (5,700gp)Pretty sure the cost should be doubled.
edit: Drat. The aura is wrong as well.
Not at all bad really. I actually like it more the more I dwell on it.
I'm not sure why you have mage's lucubration in brackets.
I presume this is a one use item but thats not made clear.
Another problem is this items value is actually all over the place. If I can only cast spells of up to the 3rd spell level then this is way overpriced. Its probably about right if I can cast 1st through 6th level spells. If I can cast 7th through 9th level spells then I'm buying these by the dozen. I mean the ability get back a free 7th, 8th, and 9th level spell is phenominal.
Breaking this into three versions with spell level caps would be a better idea. So the lesser version would give you a slot back for 1st through 3rd level spells while the greater version would do 1st through either 8th or 9th level spells.
Ah, thank you Clark! And thank you for the insight, that's fantastic. I truly appreciate it.
I think the judges' rationale regarding my item was completely fair, and to be honest, completely on point.
I'm glad to hear you arent mad. I really really agonized over yours. I dont want to get all cheesy, but your item really moved me.
I know we didnt give content restrictions and I felt horrible saying we had to reject it for that. I was almost glad that Erik and WB found mechanical reasons to reject, that kind of took me off the hook if you know what I mean.
We learned alot with this round. A LOT. We would have done the instructions much different if we had it to do over.
I think it might have been better to use a phrase other than "mental ping", which seems a bit out of place. "The scroll is brought to the forefront of the counterpart owner's mind" or something similar.
Yeah, they concept is a little email-in-an-object, but written communication across distance is something any magic using world would be trying to address. There's probably a cooler concept to work this into, though, more flavor to it.
Boy, you guys are good.
Yes, that "mental ping" language really pushed us over the edge on this. And we did agree that items like this would likely be created in a magical world.
Pocket Orrery
Spoiler:
Aura: Strong Transmutation
CL: 17
Slot: -
Price: 18,000gpThis item looks superficially like a pocket watch to a casual glance, comprising a flat round case of golden metal which, when opened, reveals a complex mechanism of tiny springs, cogs and gears turning on jewelled bearings. However, a closer inspection reveals that this is not an ordinary timepiece but instead a tiny orrery, with the hands and dials instead predicting complex planar and temporal conjunctions.
The possessor benefits from the predictive power of the pocket orrery in a number of ways. Firstly, the owner of the item benefits from a +1 insight bonus to both AC and Reflex saving throws while it is on his person. Secondly, the orrery can be used to cast Augury once per day (without the need for a divine focus or material components). Finally, the holder can (as a standard action which provokes an attack of opportunity) jam the mechanism, which has the same effect as a Time Stop spell that affects that individual only. However, jamming the mechanism ruins the orrery and it loses all of its magical powers thereafter.
Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Augury, Time Stop, 9,000gp, 720xpEDIT: my item is spookily like Sebatian's, which probably did neither of us any good. I'm also disturbed that my mind works along the same lines as his.
I love the idea that you can get time stop by breaking the watch. Thats really cool.
The bonus to reflex and AC though does not really fit the theme that well. Augury seems OK but its not really doing much for me. Give me more time related abilities please, maybe haste (on oneself) and slow depending on which way you force the hands?
Boots of Stinking Retreat
Spoiler:On command once per day, these boots emit a stinking cloud from the back heels. The cloud is as per the spell except the cloud forms a cone (10 ft. height and 50 ft. long) as the cloud streams from the back of the boot, if the wearer is running, as is usually the case. If the wearer is standing still, the cloud forms a sphere as per the spell and the wearer is affected by the cloud as normal.
These boots are used by the Eye of One thieves' guild to help cover their retreat if they are being pursued. Woe to the guild member that lets his command word be known, as other members are not above saying it at the opportune time.
Other versions of the boots exist for smoke (pyrotechnics) and death (cloud kill).Faint conjuration; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, stinking cloud; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 1 lb.
This is pretty cool. It brings to mind adventures running away and leaving this cloud in their wake. Thats both interesting conceptually, somewhat humorous and fills a niche that I don't think has been covered (items that help us flee).
In fact the only thing I don't really like about this item is the flavour text. Ruined my image of adventurers running away from the nasty dragon.
Coin of Luck Stealing
Spoiler:
This well-worn coin has a depiction of merchant's scales on both sides. On one face the scales are tipped to the right and on the reverse they are tipped to the left. When in a character’s possession the coin provides a +2 luck bonus on all opposed skill checks while imposing a -2 (bad) luck penalty on the opponent's roll. A coin of luck stealing cannot be accidentally misplaced, lost, or randomly stolen by means of Sleight of Hand.Faint enchantment; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, prayer; Price 3,200 gp.
Nothing wrong with this item but it does not really stir my imagination.
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6
aka Eyebite
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Coin of Luck Stealing
** spoiler omitted **
Nothing wrong with this item but it does not really stir my imagination.
I think the coin is well designed, well priced, and usable by virtually any PC. What it might lack in flash, I think it more than makes up for in sheer utility. No PC that got this in a treasure horde would sell it, it would be a definite keeper. I think a lot of people focused on making unique items rather than just solid items.
Ah well, to each his own.
Wyrt’s Remarkable Implement
Spoiler:
Wyrt’s Remarkable Implement was first created by the Archmage Edwin Wyrt after a lifetime of adventuring and bemoaning the nonexistence just such a tool. The implement appears as a multicolored, shimmering sphere approximately 3.5” in diameter. When a command word is spoken it can be worked as a ball of clay into any crude shape of approximately 3 cubic inches. A second command word is spoken to fix the implement into its new shape. Fine sculpting of the implement is made impossible by the interaction between the clay and the Prismatic Sphere spell.The implement may only be destroyed in the same manner as the Prismatic Wall spell. Each layer being permanently removed from the item. Once the final layer is destroyed, the implement becomes a standard ball of clay.
Strong Abjuration. CL: 17th, Craft Wondrous Item, Prismatic Sphere, Price: 275,400gp, Weight: 1lb.
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Re-reading I see some grammar mistakes (like I missed "of" in the first damned sentence *smacks head*). But seeing the winning entries leads me to believe that wasn't why it got kicked.
So, it got kicked for one (or more) of these reasons:
1) Pricing Issue: Either it's flat-out wrong or simply too expensive.
2) Bad Design: The item objectively sucks.
3) Personal Taste: The item subjectively sucked for the judges.
Your real problem is you never come out and actually tell us what this thing does. You tell us how to do whatever it does but not what it does.