Losing items


RPG Superstar™ 2008 General Discussion

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Scarab Sages

Basiliv wrote:

Thanks for the input!!

Patrick Walsh wrote:

Hmm. I'd also make it tiered at +2, +4, and +6 bonuses.

I'm not sure how that would work. Would you mind elaborating?

Make a +2 version that only works if the source has at least 2 ranks in the skill being copied, a +4 version that only works if the source has at least 4 ranks in the skill being copied, and a +6 version that only works if the source has at least 6 ranks in the skill being copied.

The +2 version allows access to most skills as most folks with a skill (or at least know to have a skill) will have at least 2 ranks in it. The +4 and +6 versions allow better skill levels but at the expense of fewer available sources. Doing it this way, the +8 and +10 versions can be included without breaking the game as access to master level NPCs should be rare.

Using the "try it and see if it works" method is probably the best way of doing this. That way the DM does not have to tell the PCs how many ranks an NPC has and it becomes a game of "how far can I push it and still get a result?"

With the rank limits and the WILL save, I like this item.

Scarab Sages

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

My entry:

Dawnhelm
This bronze pot helm has elongated nose and neck-guards, as well as hinged cheek-guards and a foot-high wicker crest running from ear to ear.

Simplify the description and avoid using "elongated nose" at all costs. I'm thinking you want it to look like the sun rising, but it doesn't actually say that. The mental image I'm getting is kind of dorky looking (due to the "elongated nose" part).
The whole "elongated nose" thing is a misreading of "elongated nose-guard (much like the Spartan helmets in '300' in that it goes past the tip of the nose). Sorry if that was confusing. I actually have some rough concept sketches here.

Ooh, I like those.

I think the description is what really tripped me up on this as I got stuck in trying to envision it and kept failing.

Scarab Sages

1Ol0 wrote:

Hey Daigle, we had pretty similar items! with chalk even.

Well here's my item. I submitted early. I think the next time I'll keep my finished idea a bit before submitting it, maybe sleep on it.

I thought of a few things I'd change. I think the price is too low. I would also make it one hour instead of 24, and I'd probably put limited uses per day on it. Maybe I'd clean up a few sentences a bit too. I used "ring gates" and "mirror of mental" prowess as guides.

------ submitted item ------
Gate Chalk

What hurts this description is the order the information was presented in. You should re-write it to make it more concise and keep related things together. The first sentence is good. Then it gets disorganized.

I'd say, "This chalk allows two circles draw by this chalk to act as a gate. The circles must be the same relative size and within 100 miles of each other. The circles are drawn on any surface with the command word drawn in the center of the circle. When the command word is spoken, the circles form a portal that remains open for 24 hours or until another set it opened with the same command word. Circles drawn on moving objects move with the objects and are destroyed if the object is destroyed."

I'd drop the mending spell part entirely as this can become abusive with that. Say each piece of chalk can draw acertain number of sets before being used up (50 sounds good, but that's off the cuff).

This does have all sorts of nifty espionage uses...

Scarab Sages

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

I like the physical description. I think the issue with this item is that it is a "spell in a box" item. Also, as a DM, an item that mass harvests temp hit points over a large area, each with a potentially different time span would be a nightmare to adjudicate and would be abusive during mass combat.

And if they got friend or ally in the effect, the wearer would be danged unpopular.

Scarab Sages

ironregime wrote:
William Booth wrote:
If instead of thinking of it as a slingstone that grows and does extra damage (putting it in the weapon category), present it the other way. It a a stone that provides a 5' x 5' x 5' piece of cover upon command. In addition, it can also be fired from a sling or thrown as the command word is said, to grow in mid-flight and do the extra damage. That would probably move it to the wondrous item category.
In that case, I have a nice two-handed cheese slicer to show you. Sure, it's a wondrous item. *wink*

Hahahahaha! Good one.

Scarab Sages

ironregime wrote:
William Booth wrote:
If instead of thinking of it as a slingstone that grows and does extra damage (putting it in the weapon category), present it the other way. It a a stone that provides a 5' x 5' x 5' piece of cover upon command. In addition, it can also be fired from a sling or thrown as the command word is said, to grow in mid-flight and do the extra damage. That would probably move it to the wondrous item category.
In that case, I have a nice two-handed cheese slicer to show you. Sure, it's a wondrous item. *wink*

Hahahahahaha! Good one!

Please ignore my follow up question - it now embarasses me.

;)

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Gary McBride wrote:

Eye Patch of the Pirate King

Very nice! I like the different effects for switching eyes and the landlubber penalty.

I would have pegged (heh) the aura as illusion, though I see the technical reasoning for choosing necromancy. Being able to see through the patch and to switch eyes makes it appear that the disguise self correspondence is more fundamental to the item.

Liberty's Edge

Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Clark Peterson wrote:
We thought about that scarf for a bit. It was a fun item.

Thanks, I'm glad it came across as one. I like utility items, which is with why, with only one exception, most of my items are useful things.

Liberty's Edge

Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Patrick Walsh wrote:

The "second" part is vague, particularly the "climb like a spider, but only from their hands which hold the ends of the scarf" part. What exactly does this mean?

The gliding part side-steps the need to accurately throw the end to a desired anchor point, which makes it kind of twink-ish.

Overall, how is this different from a rope of climbing?

Basically it means that if the holder of the scarf were to keep an end in each hand they could climb a wall, which is something as a player I would try and have my character do.

As for the gliding part, there was never a need in the item for it to be thrown accurately, as it was a variant on the rope of climbing idea. The main difference is the growth aspect of the item, which could allow for it to be used as a bridge or slide if needed.

It was an expansion on the concept of a rope of climbing, with a varisian flare and ability to blend in with their wardrobe.

Scarab Sages

janxious wrote:

My easy-to-see-why-it-was-rejected item:

Automatic Palanquin

This is a bit vague. The descriptive part should be concise on the basic or most common version. The information about different materials effecting the abilities of the base unit needs explanation and/or guidelines. Other than saying "it's a palanquin", there is little description as to what it looks like. What are the minimum requirements of the form?

This item also suffers from the "modern item made magic" syndrome. This is obviously a hovercraft made into magic.

I like the back story material, but this may distract from the item itself.

Scarab Sages

Gary McBride wrote:

Eye Patch of the Pirate King

A nice little item with a good description, but not an outstanding item. I'm torn between liking the "different eye-different power" mechanism and feeling it makes the item too busy.

Drop the "no attack of opportunity is provoked" clause - donning this should definitely provoke one as should switching which eye is covered.

Remove the "landlubber" reference and just say "anyone who has not spent at least three contiguous days at sea who wears the patch...".

I am undecided about the patch not effecting vision. I think it should, but, hey, it's a magic item.

Scarab Sages

dsancho wrote:

Here's mine. Bear in mind I'm not a native speaker... Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Medallion of Wailing

This is a good item, but not a rockstar item.

I see a potential issue in the color text - it implies that there is only one of these and the goblins have it (for now anyways). Perhaps a sentence explaining or hinting what this is all about, that is, who makes these and why. Right now it sounds like a plot device. This is not necessarily bad, but limits general use.

The Exchange

Patrick Walsh wrote:
janxious wrote:

My easy-to-see-why-it-was-rejected item:

Automatic Palanquin

This is a bit vague. The descriptive part should be concise on the basic or most common version. The information about different materials effecting the abilities of the base unit needs explanation and/or guidelines. Other than saying "it's a palanquin", there is little description as to what it looks like. What are the minimum requirements of the form?

This item also suffers from the "modern item made magic" syndrome. This is obviously a hovercraft made into magic.

I like the back story material, but this may distract from the item itself.

Thanks for the comments. I agree with the assessment that I was too general. I should have spent more than 15 minutes on the description. :)

Had I spent a little more time, I probably would have said something like "All automatic palanquins resemble their non-magical cousins, if a little more heavily built. As such, they can be carried like a normal palanquin for those times when an assassin casts dispel magic..."

Also, it's more like a really slow helicopter. :D
Thanks again for the feedback!

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2013 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Steven T. Helt

Clark Peterson wrote:
Kari Houle wrote:

Hey, what do I have to lose? :)

Crux Draconum

I think the general feeling of the judges was: "This person should just play Council of Wyrms. It's quite a fun setting." You made a strong design choice and we respect that. The item just didnt resonate with us and did seem to really be for a very particular setting, which we thought was one that we, subjectively, didnt go in for. But I think you have a lot to feel good about with this item.

The item references a spell compendium spell? I guess that would have disqualified it, even though I like it outside of those parameters.

I really like powerful items that change your campaign: One rumor that a paladin is wearing the soul of a white dragon around its neck, and I would think good dragons diplomats would come to 'pursuade' the paladin that death was punishment enough for its crimes. And red dragons would try to take the amulet for themselves (hypocrites!). And blue dragons would hold the paladin's home town hostage.

Yeah, the item I think is priced ok, maybe a little high. And needs some cleaning up, but it could also fuel an entire pathfinder series.

Great try.

Liberty's Edge

My idea would've been a "Canfull of Whoopass." It's a tin can when you open it, this little purple skinned mesomorph with nipple piercings and hair like Vivian on the Young Ones hops out, goes, "mrr mrr....mrr mrrr....!" and starts beating the s*!+ out of everybody in the room.
He's got 8 h.d. or something, shoot I don't know.
No spells either, just need a tough, pliable little purple doude of some sort and canning technology.

I thing it would've gotten shot down for being too much like a "monster in a box" or something. The name's cool though.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

I just wanted to say what an amazing thread this is.

This is a great community of some really awesome people and some very creative people.

I really respect how cool everyone has been about seeking criticism and I really appreciate all the great feedback people are giving. You guys are doing a teriffic job with this. Taking what we started and truly taking it to the next level.

It is a pleasure to be a part of this process.

Liberty's Edge

WTF it's got utility? What character WOULDN'T want to open up a Canfull of Whupass on some kooks?
Aww, gya, you're all Philistines.


shammond42 wrote:

Amaranth Martingale

Spoiler:
Amaranth Martingale

Deeming undeath to be beneath their station, but still yearning to prolong their existence, the Crux Accretion surreptitiously commissioned scores of these deep red, velvet chokers. Adorning each Martingale is a single silver charm, typically in the nature of phoenix or butterfly.

One round following the death of the wearer, the Martingale sheaths the corpse in flame; cremating the remains and itself by the conclusion of the round (other objects or creatures, including worn items, remain unaffected by the flames). One hour following the incineration, the wearer returns to life in a new, unclothed body (determine type randomly as per the reincarnate spell table) in the square the cremation occurred. The rebirth effect occurs only under conditions pursuant to the reincarnation spell (including accompanying level loss), while the immolation is merely contingent on the death of the bearer.

Particularly affluent Accretion members employ consummate assassins to commit painless executions at regular intervals, typically bequeathing assets to their “successor.”

Moderate transmutation; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Reincarnate, Produce Flame; Price 4000 gp


I like this item a lot. It has a lot more flavor than other items for bringing characters back from the dead. As you and others indicate it may be underpriced. I can see giving this to one of my villains. After the PC's kill him, he bursts into flames and they wander away. An hour later, look whose back in a whole new form. Great!

Steve

Thanks, glad you liked it. I have a feeling it might have done a bit better if I'd doubled the price. C’este La Vie!


I did not enter the contest. I am not very rules wise and many of the ideas I had were more artifact than wondrous item. So that they are shared, I present them here.

Sail of the sky-borne albatross.
This heavy canvas sail has an albatross embroidered on it. When the sail is affixed to a mast, the albatross animates, and seems to be flying upon the sail. Whoever holds the log book of the ship to which the sail is attached is recognised by the albatross as the captain of the ship. The captain may release the albatross from the sail by tossing a fish into the air near the sail. Once the albatross is released, the sail shows exactly what the albatross sees. The captain may mentally command the bird to fly as he or she sees fit. The albatross is a bird with the construct type. If the albatross is slain, the sail loses all magical properties and becomes a masterwork sail.

Trucebread.
This is a loaf of bread wrapped with a white ribbon. The bread remains fresh and warm, with a pleasant aroma, for up to a century. Undoing the ribbon activates the true magic of the bread. The first two creatures to break the bread are affected as if by the tongues spell and are sheltered from attack as if by a sanctuary spell cast at 18th level. The two are also granted a +4 cicumstance bonus on diplomacy and sense motive checks. The bread may be broken enough to feed up to 128 beings. After eating the bread, any creature that draws blood from(makes a successful attack against) another creature that ate the bread must make a dc 18 fortitude save vs poison or fall retching to the ground where it is incapacitated for 2d6 rounds. All effects last for twelve hours from the time the ribbon was removed.

Bottled Vengeance.
A dark green bottle of squat and twisted proportions, this bottle seems to mutter and spit obscenities. To use the bottle, three conditions must be met.
-It must be filled with water from an abbyssal or infernal river or sea.
-An item of significance to the target must be placed in the bottle.
-The user must remove one of his own teeth and place it in the bottle.
Once the conditions, are met, the bottle summons a bone devil(infernal water) or babau (abbyssal water) The summoned creature immediately uses all of it's powers and resources to track down and destroy the target creature. The summoned creature will hunt the target until the target is destroyed, the creature is destroyed, or the tooth from the bottle is destroyed.

Fickle fortune.
This magical coin magically changes it's appearance to match the coins it is in contact with. It can be copper, silver or gold, depending on it's surroundings but radiates alteration magic.
Once a day, the owner may flip the coin. If it comes up heads, the owner is affected as if by the bless spell until the next sunrise or sunset. If tails, the owner is instead affected as if by the bane spell. No save is allowed agains either effect.
If the coin is freely given to another creature, that creature must make a will save or be charmed as if by the spell.
If the coin is stolen, it becomes the property of the thief and the original owner loses all memory of the coin or any time it was used. A restoration or break enchantment restores lost memories.

Flail of the flaggelant.
A blood encrusted, simple flail of knotted rope.
Any creature that beats itself with the flail receives the benefit of an atonement spell. If any creature strikes another with the flail, the flail animates and wraps around the wielders neck, attempting to suffocate it as per a necklace of strangulation.

Eternal fig.
This appears to be a ripe, juicy fig. If the fig is opened up by a neutral aligned being, it unfolds into a garden 15 foot in diameter, unless opened inside a smaller space, in which case the garden conforms to the dimensions of the space it is in. The garden is perfect and warm. All within the garden benefit from the sanctuary spell. The centrepiece of the garden is a fig tree, laden with 1d12 figs. Each fig is nourishing enough to sustain a creature for a day. the last fig is, instead, an eternal fig.
If a creature that does not have a neutral component in it's alignment opens the fig, the fig bursts into a rotting mess of putrid and decaying plant matter. All inside a 15 foot radius must make a dc 18 fortitude save or be sickened for 12 rounds. Five giant wasps emerge from the fig and attack all within the 15 foot spread.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Clouds Without Water

Taliesin Hoyle wrote:


Sail of the sky-borne albatross.

I really like that name.

These are all solid basic ideas, quite innovative and nice to see. Yes, they need some work, but the concepts are all quite cool.


Patrick Walsh wrote:
Chris Dragich wrote:

Did not have access to file when I originally posted this but now I do so here was my entry:

Necklace of Bones

I like this. I think what may have cost you was incomplete cost info - is 2850gp the cost to create or buy? Also, a limitation on how many figurines will be found on it would be a good addition.

Thanks for the review I was starting to feel lonely.....

;p

I thought the line:

"from which dangles a tiny figurine of a skeletal creature." was sufficient to indicate it was meant to be one and only one figurine ever. *shrug*

Yeah I posted the entry before seeing that the judges wanted the creation cost actually broken down (or at least thats the feeling I got after submitting). The cost of 2850 is the cost to create the item.

This was mostly intended as an item given to the villains guards for extra oomph. A skeletal dire lion or giant suddenly being thrown into the fray at the right time can seriously screw up an encounter for a party.

Scarab Sages

Taliesin Hoyle wrote:

I did not enter the contest. I am not very rules wise and many of the ideas I had were more artifact than wondrous item. So that they are shared, I present them here.

Sail of the sky-borne albatross.

Trucebread.

Bottled Vengeance.

Fickle fortune.

Flail of the flaggelant.

Eternal fig.

Of these, I like Bottled Vengeance and Eternal Fig the best.

With the water requirements, Bottled Vengeance is much more of an artifact than a wondrous item. It is also a plot device item. You need to spell out if the bottle goes with the summoned creature or not and where the tooth goes (stays in the bottle or goes with the creature).

The Eternal Fig needs rules crunch added to it. It also needs some explanation as to why it only works for neutral-aligned characters. I like that it summons up wasps if activated incorrectly.


Clark Peterson wrote:
Kyr wrote:

Probably not the best item I've ever churned out but I thought it was cool. I am posting it here in the event someone finds it useful for their game (and to inspire everyone to learn a little about Persian carpets - which truly are works of art).

Prayer Rugs of the Family Arahkshah

Crafted by the Arahkshah family for generations these exquisite knotted carpets would be valued as treasures worthy of kings even without the enchantments woven into them. Divine spell casters that kneel on these carpets while praying for their daily spells find their healing magic (and their healing magic only) is charged with a special potency, maximized as by the feat. Unlike the feat the level of the required spell slot for spells maximized by the rug remain the same. The prayer rug can only be used once per day.

Strong Conjuration (Healing); CL 16th; Craft Wondrous Item, Maximize Spell, heal 50,000 gp; Weight 5 lb.

Really liked the item. HATED the name. This one hung around in consideration for a long time. In fact, it made the top 71.

My goal on the name was to create a name that sounded Persian (but wasn't) and to capture some of the flavor of real world carpets. I have been told (though I confess that I don't know if its true - my Persian carpet collection is all of 2 carpets - very pretty IMO - but not so high end) that the family that produces the carpet is a big deal to collectors. Families have specific styles and patterns colors and are a big driver in the price.

I mention this because the back story of the item (not included) was that this family was not spell casters, but rather a family of particularly gifted artisans, and that as special dispensation from their gods, when a journeyman made his "Masterpiece" it was endowed with the special property described. These items were never sold but were donated to the local temples.

Why is all this relevent (and why am I rambling) because while I think that is a pretty cool back story, and works very well in my campaign world - it does not work to drive a naming convention or description i of a non context specific write-up (especially one that doesn't nor should) include all that detail.

The lesson being that the detail that gears individual campaign settings (particularly home brews) to taste does not necessarily make for good item design - or result in attractive naming conventions ;-)

I hope that some of the other budding developers out their can benefit from my experience and avoid similar mistakes in their own future submissions.

Cheers!

Scarab Sages

Chris Dragich wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
Chris Dragich wrote:

Did not have access to file when I originally posted this but now I do so here was my entry:

Necklace of Bones

I like this. I think what may have cost you was incomplete cost info - is 2850gp the cost to create or buy? Also, a limitation on how many figurines will be found on it would be a good addition.

Thanks for the review I was starting to feel lonely.....

;p

I thought the line:

"from which dangles a tiny figurine of a skeletal creature." was sufficient to indicate it was meant to be one and only one figurine ever. *shrug*

Yeah I posted the entry before seeing that the judges wanted the creation cost actually broken down (or at least thats the feeling I got after submitting). The cost of 2850 is the cost to create the item.

This was mostly intended as an item given to the villains guards for extra oomph. A skeletal dire lion or giant suddenly being thrown into the fray at the right time can seriously screw up an encounter for a party.

I had the impression that it could hold multiple bone creatures, probably from the name. I'd actually like it to start with 3-5 bone creaturess rather than just one. This would, of course, change the cost, but there you go.

Sorry if it took me a while to comment on your item, it took me a while to get through all the posts. :)

Scarab Sages

Kyr wrote:
Clark Peterson wrote:
Kyr wrote:

Probably not the best item I've ever churned out but I thought it was cool. I am posting it here in the event someone finds it useful for their game (and to inspire everyone to learn a little about Persian carpets - which truly are works of art).

Prayer Rugs of the Family Arahkshah

Really liked the item. HATED the name. This one hung around in consideration for a long time. In fact, it made the top 71.

My goal on the name was to create a name that sounded Persian (but wasn't) and to capture some of the flavor of real world carpets. I have been told (though I confess that I don't know if its true - my Persian carpet collection is all of 2 carpets - very pretty IMO - but not so high end) that the family that produces the carpet is a big deal to collectors. Families have specific styles and patterns colors and are a big driver in the price.

I mention this because the back story of the item (not included) was that this family was not spell casters, but rather a family of particularly gifted artisans, and that as special dispensation from their gods, when a journeyman made his "Masterpiece" it was endowed with the special property described. These items were never sold but were donated to the local temples.

I like the additional back story about the family and why it all works. And you're right - things that make it pop for a home campaign do not always translate to a more general format.

What would the word count have been if you had added: "Rug designs are kept as family treasures and families have specific styles, patterns, and colors. The particularly gifted Arahkshah Family has been gifted the ability to create these special prayer rugs by their gods."

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Taliesin Hoyle wrote:

I did not enter the contest. I am not very rules wise and many of the ideas I had were more artifact than wondrous item. So that they are shared, I present them here.

The sail, the bottle and the fig are all pretty good. As we've seen, there were a lot worse items submitted.


Patrick Walsh wrote:
Kyr wrote:
Clark Peterson wrote:
Kyr wrote:

Probably not the best item I've ever churned out but I thought it was cool. I am posting it here in the event someone finds it useful for their game (and to inspire everyone to learn a little about Persian carpets - which truly are works of art).

Prayer Rugs of the Family Arahkshah

Really liked the item. HATED the name. This one hung around in consideration for a long time. In fact, it made the top 71.

My goal on the name was to create a name that sounded Persian (but wasn't) and to capture some of the flavor of real world carpets. I have been told (though I confess that I don't know if its true - my Persian carpet collection is all of 2 carpets - very pretty IMO - but not so high end) that the family that produces the carpet is a big deal to collectors. Families have specific styles and patterns colors and are a big driver in the price.

I mention this because the back story of the item (not included) was that this family was not spell casters, but rather a family of particularly gifted artisans, and that as special dispensation from their gods, when a journeyman made his "Masterpiece" it was endowed with the special property described. These items were never sold but were donated to the local temples.

I like the additional back story about the family and why it all works. And you're right - things that make it pop for a home campaign do not always translate to a more general format.

What would the word count have been if you had added: "Rug designs are kept as family treasures and families have specific styles, patterns, and colors. The particularly gifted Arahkshah Family has been gifted the ability to create these special prayer rugs by their gods."

I think the word count could of been managed without difficulty, my issue was that I felt it made the write-up to heavily toward fluff (and I thought the mechanic was unique and pretty clean).

The other I was trying to show (from the standpoint of a contest entry) was that I could create a unique and interesting item in far less than 200 words. It was my hope that not having my submission weigh in at 190-210 words would give it a leg up.

And to be frank I still think the brevity of the item (certainly not my posts) is one of its strengths as an entry. Of course I wasn't one of the 32 so....

BTW Thanks for the feedback!


Patrick Walsh wrote:
Chris Dragich wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
Chris Dragich wrote:

Did not have access to file when I originally posted this but now I do so here was my entry:

Necklace of Bones

I like this. I think what may have cost you was incomplete cost info - is 2850gp the cost to create or buy? Also, a limitation on how many figurines will be found on it would be a good addition.

Thanks for the review I was starting to feel lonely.....

;p

I had the impression that it could hold multiple bone creatures, probably from the name. I'd actually like it to start with 3-5 bone creaturess rather than just one. This would, of course, change the cost, but there you go.

Sorry if it took me a while to comment on your item, it took me a while to get through all the posts. :)

I don't see why it cant have more than 1 figurine, though if that were to happen you should add in something to the effect of "no more than one figurine can be active from the Necklace at any one time, activating a second one causes the first to crumble to dust instantly." As for costing I don't think it would raise the cost to much feel free to check my math here

Spoiler:

Original entry assumed a 1 hd skeleton so cost to create was:
(clxsplx50)+ (materialx50)= (8x4x50)+(25x50)= 1600 +1250 = 2850

Each additional firgurine would cost
(25gp x hd)x50

So a 2 hd skeleton would cost an additional (50x50) or 2500 gp


So I'll lay my head on the block as well. Feel free to swing the axe.
This is an item I always wanted my nasty rogues to have ...

Whisper Stone

These rune-engraved stones have the size of a sling bullet and are usually crafted for thieves' or assassins' guilds. A whisper stone can be thrown as a ranged attack with a range increment of 20 feet, and on impact resolves into a preset illusion which shall act as a timely distraction. Rogues use these items to draw away the attention of a target intended for a sneak attack or wrong-track possible pursuers after such a deed.
The stones are crafted with a raw silent image and ghost sound spell, who can be attuned by the rogue for a purpose needed at the time. To attune a whisper stone, the rogue has to hold it in a hand and concentrate on the images and sounds required for 5 rounds. A whisper stone can be attuned only once and the image and sound remain for 5 rounds, behaving exactly like programmed for every single round.

Faint illusion; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, silent image; Price 344 gp; Weight 0.05 lb.

+++
Designer's notes:

Words: 172

The stones were developed as use-activated, single-use wondrous items, with a duration pushed to 5 rounds for 'ghost sound' (CL). The concentration-linked duration of 'silent image' was circumvented with a required number of rounds of concentration while programming/attuning the stone.
As it is an item with similar abilities, i.e. two illusion spells which are used at the same time, the following rule was applied for calculating the prices in gold and XP:

Multiple Similar Abilities
For items with multiple similar abilities that don’t take up space on a character’s body use the following formula: Calculate the price of the single most costly ability, then add 75% of the value of the next most costly ability, plus one-half the value of any other abilities.

Base calculation
Silent image - 1st level spell - 1 x 1 x 50 = 50 GP
Ghost sound - 0 level spell - (= 1/2 cost of 1st level = 25 GP x 0,75) = 19 GP

Total: Market Price: 69 GP, Cost to create: 35 GP, 3 XP.

Whisper Stone calculation (CL 5)
Silent image - 1st level spell - 1 x 5 x 50 = 250 GP
Ghost sound - 0 level spell - (= 1/2 cost of 1st level x 0,75) = 94 GP

Total: Market Price: 344 GP, Cost to create: 172 GP, 14 XP.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Darkjoy

Whisper stone

Cool item but I would have changed it like this:

The illusion should have DC's stated, it shouldn't auto-succeed.

For that added touch, the user needs to whisper the details of the illusion to the stone....


Darkjoy wrote:

Whisper stone

Cool item but I would have changed it like this:

The illusion should have DC's stated, it shouldn't auto-succeed.

For that added touch, the user needs to whisper the details of the illusion to the stone....

Hm hm ... well, it is always a bit awkward, as people would have to "interact" with the illusion to validate a save. Obviously, auto-succeed was and is not intended. About a dozen odd possibilities spring to mind, e.g. does you "actively interact" with something about 30 feet away which just sprang into existence? Obviously, the DC as such is not that hard to calculate, though I might have squeezed it in nonetheless, since there was a bit of room left with regards to word count.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Darkjoy

Zanan wrote:
Darkjoy wrote:

Whisper stone

Cool item but I would have changed it like this:

The illusion should have DC's stated, it shouldn't auto-succeed.

For that added touch, the user needs to whisper the details of the illusion to the stone....

Hm hm ... well, it is always a bit awkward, as people would have to "interact" with the illusion to validate a save. Obviously, auto-succeed was and is not intended. About a dozen odd possibilities spring to mind, e.g. does you "actively interact" with something about 30 feet away which just sprang into existence? Obviously, the DC as such is not that hard to calculate, though I might have squeezed it in nonetheless, since there was a bit of room left with regards to word count.

True but both examples as given by you would give a save (eventually).


Here's my item. Mr. Mona has graciously told me that it was in the top 71. Now that I have seen the finalists, and had a chance to listen to the judges talk about their decisions, I think I know what kept me out of the top 32. But hey, top 71 is fine by me.

Fulbert’s Fabulous Finger

This device is a bronze articulated sheath that fits snugly over the index finger of any humanoid creature up to size Large. Fulbert’s fabulous finger uses a ring slot, and produces the following magical effects with the appropriate gesture (a standard action). Each ability is usable three times per day.


  • Making the “come hither” motion at a target produces the effects of a charm person spell.
  • Pointing at a target produces the effects of a true strike spell.
  • Admonishing a target by wagging the finger produces the effects of a cause fear spell.

The final ability of Fulbert’s fabulous finger allows its owner to copy and store spells scribed upon scrolls by tracing the magical script with the finger (a standard action per spell copied). This ability functions as a ring of spell storing, save the finger can only store a spell that was copied from a scroll. The spell is erased from the scroll after copying. Fulbert’s fabulous finger can hold up to five levels of spells.

Moderate divination, evocation, illusion, and necromancy; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, cause fear, charm person, imbue with spell-like ability, true strike; Price 89,280 gp.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Darkjoy

Blackdirge wrote:


Fulbert’s Fabulous Finger

This is really good, and better than some of the current winners, the only thing that I would like to add were saving throw DC's.


Darkjoy wrote:
Blackdirge wrote:


Fulbert’s Fabulous Finger

This is really good, and better than some of the current winners, the only thing that I would like to add were saving throw DC's.

Thanks.

The saving throw DC is a gray area in the SRD. Sometimes DCs are given for an item (eyes of doom) and sometimes they aren't (helm of brilliance). The saving throw for an item's spell-like powers are calculated like this: spell level + the ability modifier of the minimum ability score needed to cast the spell (DMG, pg 214). For example, my items powers are all 1st level; therefore the DCs are 11.

If I had had more word count to play with, I probably would have just included the DCs. However, it's not outside of standard SRD formatting to not include them, as crazy as that is. =]

BD

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Darkjoy

Blackdirge wrote:
The saving throw for an item's spell-like powers are calculated like this: spell level + the ability modifier of the minimum ability score needed to cast the spell (DMG, pg 214). For example, my items powers are all 1st level; therefore the DCs are 11.

Duh...I know, but it could have been that you would've liked to umph the item a bit ;->

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

Clark Peterson wrote:

I just wanted to say what an amazing thread this is.

This is a great community of some really awesome people and some very creative people.

I really respect how cool everyone has been about seeking criticism and I really appreciate all the great feedback people are giving. You guys are doing a teriffic job with this. Taking what we started and truly taking it to the next level.

It is a pleasure to be a part of this process.

Honestly, it takes my breath away. We have something like a hundred people on this thread and others, both working rpos and experienced fans, working respectfully and constructively, teaching one another how to be better designers, better game-masters and better players.

Nothing like this has ever happened in the Role-playing community.


Darkjoy wrote:
Blackdirge wrote:
The saving throw for an item's spell-like powers are calculated like this: spell level + the ability modifier of the minimum ability score needed to cast the spell (DMG, pg 214). For example, my items powers are all 1st level; therefore the DCs are 11.
Duh...I know, but it could have been that you would've liked to umph the item a bit ;->

Sorry, I didn't mean to come off condescending.

You know, I think the best way to add a bit more power to the item would be to simply swap out the spells. Replace charm person, true strike, and cause fear with charm monster, searing light, and fear, or something to that effect. That would raise the saving throws to 16, 14, and 16 respectively.

BD

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Darkjoy

Blackdirge wrote:
Darkjoy wrote:
Blackdirge wrote:
The saving throw for an item's spell-like powers are calculated like this: spell level + the ability modifier of the minimum ability score needed to cast the spell (DMG, pg 214). For example, my items powers are all 1st level; therefore the DCs are 11.
Duh...I know, but it could have been that you would've liked to umph the item a bit ;->
Sorry, I didn't mean to come off condescending.

Don't worry about it.

Charm monster and fear would be good choices, perhaps a major finger (LOL) but I would keep the true strike. Swapping it for searing light would diminish the item.


Now we know it! Darkjoy likes his/her saving throws! :-)

BTW, the one of these Nausea Pills ... shouldn't it be Fort DC 14? (3rd level spell with a INT 13 (i.e. +1) to cast?)

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9 aka Dementrius

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:
Dementrius wrote:

Doorbreaker

** spoiler omitted **

Cool item.

One problem though is its ability to cast dispel magic. At what caster level does this work?

Also I personally would rather have the item not repair the damage. See that allows you to make your secret break into the castle but it leaves a pretty obvious clue.

Exciting role play (well more likely 'roll' play) ensues as the PCs try and accomplish their mission before their deed is discovered and the alarm is sounded - Cue the theme music as PCs attempt daring escape.

If it can repair damage then it becomes a matter of the PCs just casting silence and greater invisibility before getting on with their nefarious deeds and that starts to sound a bit to powerful. Execution becomes just a little too...

The CL of the dispel magic varies whether it is the lesser / standard / greater version and is decribed in the crafting requirements bit down the bottom.

The scene I had envisaged was more along the lines of the PCs fighting off monsters waiting for the Doorbreaker to do its stuff, and then holding them off through the gap in the door while it was being mended. Although I do get your point about the stealth attacks.


Like many others here, I'd love to read what the judges thought of my entry. But there's lots of good comments in this thread, so let me throw my item in here for comment:
---------
Archon Lantern: This ornate hooded lantern glows with a golden radiance, giving light equal to a normal hooded lantern. Within the glass globe is a lantern archon which powers the lantern’s light and special abilities. These lanterns are sometimes created by evil wizards as symbols of power over good. Good crafters use willing archons, to aid heroes against evil.

Once per hour, upon command, the lantern can cast aid on its holder (caster level 3). Once per day, upon command, the lantern can cast protection from evil on its holder (caster level 3). The command words for the special abilities are telepathically communicated to the holder.

Breaking the glass globe releases the lantern archon inside, which immediately winks back to its plane as though a summon monster spell had ended. This act for an archon bound by an evil crafter may draw the positive attention of a celestial power. Any immediate or future result of this attention is up to the DM.

Moderate conjuration and abjuration; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, summon monster IV; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
---------

Thanks, in advance, for any and all comments.

Bullgrit
Total Bullgrit

The Exchange

Bullgrit wrote:

Like many others here, I'd love to read what the judges thought of my entry. But there's lots of good comments in this thread, so let me throw my item in here for comment:

---------
Archon Lantern: This ornate hooded lantern glows with a golden radiance, giving light equal to a normal hooded lantern. Within the glass globe is a lantern archon which powers the lantern’s light and special abilities. These lanterns are sometimes created by evil wizards as symbols of power over good. Good crafters use willing archons, to aid heroes against evil.

Once per hour, upon command, the lantern can cast aid on its holder (caster level 3). Once per day, upon command, the lantern can cast protection from evil on its holder (caster level 3). The command words for the special abilities are telepathically communicated to the holder.

Breaking the glass globe releases the lantern archon inside, which immediately winks back to its plane as though a summon monster spell had ended. This act for an archon bound by an evil crafter may draw the positive attention of a celestial power. Any immediate or future result of this attention is up to the DM.

Moderate conjuration and abjuration; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, summon monster IV; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
---------

That's pretty rad!

I think it could have been juiced up if the lantern archon could communicate at will with the owner of the lantern. You could have used the teleport mechanics built-in to archons, too. Send the light in front of you to scout out danger.
Anyway, I think it's really cool. :)

Scarab Sages

Zanan wrote:

So I'll lay my head on the block as well. Feel free to swing the axe.

This is an item I always wanted my nasty rogues to have ...

Whisper Stone

I like this item and Darkjoy's suggestion that the instructions to the illusion be whispered into the stone, tying the name and the item together more. The flavor text and the item description need to be separated so that it is easier to learn everything the stone does.

I like that it can only be attuned once. This requires planning as to how the stone will be used, something I always like to encourage.


ancientsensei wrote:
Clark Peterson wrote:
Kari Houle wrote:

Hey, what do I have to lose? :)

Crux Draconum

I think the general feeling of the judges was: "This person should just play Council of Wyrms. It's quite a fun setting." You made a strong design choice and we respect that. The item just didnt resonate with us and did seem to really be for a very particular setting, which we thought was one that we, subjectively, didnt go in for. But I think you have a lot to feel good about with this item.

The item references a spell compendium spell? I guess that would have disqualified it, even though I like it outside of those parameters.

I really like powerful items that change your campaign: One rumor that a paladin is wearing the soul of a white dragon around its neck, and I would think good dragons diplomats would come to 'pursuade' the paladin that death was punishment enough for its crimes. And red dragons would try to take the amulet for themselves (hypocrites!). And blue dragons would hold the paladin's home town hostage.

Yeah, the item I think is priced ok, maybe a little high. And needs some cleaning up, but it could also fuel an entire pathfinder series.

Great try.

I really appreciate the feedback! After I was finished writing it and read back over it, I had a ton of bad guy uses for the item. Definitely agree there is the beginnings of a campaign idea.

I wasn't even thinking when I decided to include the usage of Draconic Might that it wasn't SRD, but I agree, gotta like being outside the box. :)

Fortunately, this was a good practice for me and I'm looking forward to reading through the country submissions and commenting and towards next year's competition. Try try again.

Scarab Sages

Blackdirge wrote:

Here's my item. Mr. Mona has graciously told me that it was in the top 71. Now that I have seen the finalists, and had a chance to listen to the judges talk about their decisions, I think I know what kept me out of the top 32. But hey, top 71 is fine by me.

Fulbert’s Fabulous Finger

This is a good item (as making the top 71 shows). I read the responses from the judges in the other thread and cannot hope to top that (even though I can't remember the specifics just this moment). I do agree the "fourth power" you mentioned would have sunk this immediately and commend you on your restraint.

Scarab Sages

Bullgrit wrote:

Like many others here, I'd love to read what the judges thought of my entry. But there's lots of good comments in this thread, so let me throw my item in here for comment:

---------
Archon Lantern:

A good item, but making the light be a lantern archon makes this more of a plot device item rather than a wondrous item. Also, everytime one shows up, the DM has to decide who made it originally and why in order to adjudicate what happens if you break it.

One other point - as the power is from the lantern archon, learning the command words telepathically probably comes from the archon as well, yes? If so, why would the archon tell any non-good character what the command words are? This necessitates the command words being on the lantern for "evil" sourced versions, providing a way to tell the two types apart, which is anti-wonderous.


Patrick Walsh wrote:
Blackdirge wrote:

Here's my item. Mr. Mona has graciously told me that it was in the top 71. Now that I have seen the finalists, and had a chance to listen to the judges talk about their decisions, I think I know what kept me out of the top 32. But hey, top 71 is fine by me.

Fulbert’s Fabulous Finger

This is a good item (as making the top 71 shows). I read the responses from the judges in the other thread and cannot hope to top that (even though I can't remember the specifics just this moment). I do agree the "fourth power" you mentioned would have sunk this immediately and commend you on your restraint.

Thanks. The stinking cloud thing was a very bad idea, although it did make me chuckle. =]

I think had I focused on more abilites like the scroll-copying power, rather than "spell in a can effects," I might have done better.

BD


Hey, let's join the fun...

Lightning Coils

This item appears to be a pair of copper coils, each fashioned from a copper rod about the thickness of a finger, with one end of each coil fashioned into the likeness of a fanged serpent.

Worn on the forearms, the coils provide the wearer with energy resistance 10 against electricity.

In addition, some of the absorbed energy is stored and may be utilised in one of two ways. When the coils have absorbed 10 or more points of damage, the wearer’s unarmed melee attacks do an additional 1d6 points of electrical damage on a successful hit. Secondly, the wearer may completely discharge the stored energy in the form of a lightning bolt. Any creature struck takes 2d6 points of damage per 10 points of energy stored (maximum 6d6) unless it makes a DC14 Reflex save.

If the wearer can avoid all electrical damage, such as through the use of a rogue’s evasion class ability, the coils will not charge.

Faint abjuration and evocation; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, lightning bolt, resist energy; Price: 18,000 gp, 2 lb.

---
Definitely not superstar material but I couldn't get the image of a dude with lightning fists out of my head. Thanks Big Trouble in Little China, I love those Storm Lords.

Cheers
Mark

PS. Merry Christmas!

Grand Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Zanan wrote:

So I'll lay my head on the block as well. Feel free to swing the axe.

This is an item I always wanted my nasty rogues to have ...

Whisper Stone

Designer's notes:

I must admit I have a liking for magical sling stones and this one does something fun. Word usage is a bit odd, though I'm not one to talk.

I hope you didn't post the designer's notes. The judges really hated that in one of the other items.

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