Losing items


RPG Superstar™ 2008 General Discussion

751 to 800 of 955 << first < prev | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | next > last >>
Dedicated Voter Season 6

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
mwbeeler wrote:

Oh what the hell. Judge me, cruel peers!

Amaranth Martingale

I like this item a lot. It has a lot more flavor than other items for bringing characters back from the dead. As you and others indicate it may be underpriced. I can see giving this to one of my villains. After the PC's kill him, he bursts into flames and they wander away. An hour later, look whose back in a whole new form. Great!

Steve

Scarab Sages

Sobelia wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
Sobelia wrote:

here's mine: I think it was boring, mainly... although I could see the Shoanti using this all the time.

Bracers of Focused Anger, Greater

<snip>

I initially didn't have the images of the favored foe on the bracers, just the briars that were interwoven with the leather. For the player characters, I waned to have a way fro them to tell to which foe the bracers were keyed.

Also, I tried to aim this at the non outdoorsy classes to offer them more combat ability. It could be abused by a barbarian- at first level raging 3 times without penalty,giving them a total of four rages, which is why i dropped the favored foe bonus to +2 from my intial +4

I like the designated favored foe being included in the description. as said elsewhere, it should creep the PCs out.

To avoid the potential barbarian abuse, add text that says it does not add to the number of rages a character already has. This would mean if you have none, you get one, but if you already have one or more (or have another item that adds more), you just get the favored foe bonus.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16 aka NChance

No problem Pat, it's the internet and I'm an ex-WotC Board visitor, I expect jack-assery and I've yet to get any here. I do see your point about proving it's the god's blessing instead of some item the PC bought. Any suggestions on how to do that?


Patrick Walsh wrote:
Sobelia wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
Sobelia wrote:

here's mine: I think it was boring, mainly... although I could see the Shoanti using this all the time.

Bracers of Focused Anger, Greater

<snip>

I initially didn't have the images of the favored foe on the bracers, just the briars that were interwoven with the leather. For the player characters, I waned to have a way fro them to tell to which foe the bracers were keyed.

Also, I tried to aim this at the non outdoorsy classes to offer them more combat ability. It could be abused by a barbarian- at first level raging 3 times without penalty,giving them a total of four rages, which is why i dropped the favored foe bonus to +2 from my intial +4

I like the designated favored foe being included in the description. as said elsewhere, it should creep the PCs out.

To avoid the potential barbarian abuse, add text that says it does not add to the number of rages a character already has. This would mean if you have none, you get one, but if you already have one or more (or have another item that adds more), you just get the favored foe bonus.

That somewhat defeats what I had in mind for the bracers, with them being favored by barbarian tribes. The cost would make it such that only a tribal "champion" could afford them. However, what if I added something like "If the wearer already has the rage ability, using the bracers increases the duration of the post rage fatigue suffered by the character." ?

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Patrick Walsh wrote:
goldomark wrote:

This was my item. I sent it before I knew universal item weren't the equivalent of wondrous items. I guess this is why I'm not a RPG superstar. Comments are welcome, I'm not sure if its clear how to use it and if it is just a copy of the psionic power psychofeedback.

Medallion of Devolution:

I don't use the psionics rules, so I cannot comment on that. Creating a new type of damage is definitely non-SRD and ability changes are a pain to keep track of. That said, I kind of like the effect.

Thanks it nice to ear somebody likes it.

Ability burn is not a new type of damage, it is in the SRD. It is obscure, but it is there. I guess I should of added a spoiler with a link to the SRD.

Liberty's Edge

Not to sound like a broken record, but does anyone else (Patrick, Clark, Erik, and Lilith especially) have any input?


Daigle wrote:

I failed my Will save. I suppose I shouldn't use a d13. ;)

Hit me Clark! The rest of y'all too.

** spoiler omitted **

I know the name is lame and I have seen a couple of chalks and one door-making item, I'd like to see more eyes on this one.

Holy crap, Daigle. Our items are very similar.

Portable Portal

Spoiler:
This item appears to be an ordinary brass doorknob, with a four inch spike protruding from the back. When pressed against an appropriately-sized inanimate surface, the spike will sink in up to the knob and anchor itself. The material forms into a door (6’tall, 3’ wide, 3” thick, with hp and hardness appropriate to the material) which opens onto a passage to the other side of the surface, or ten feet deep into the surface, whichever occurs first. The door or passage is now permanent. Although the Portable Portal includes no locking mechanism, the door can be locked, braced, or trapped by normal magical or mundane means.
Transmutation; CL9th; Craft Wondrous Item; passwall; Price 2,250 gp; Weight 1 lb.

I made mine permanent because I thought it would be too asbusable otherwise (discussed earlier in this thread)

Scarab Sages

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Not to sound like a broken record, but does anyone else (Patrick, Clark, Erik, and Lilith especially) have any input?

I commented on Page 8, about 4/5 of the way down.

Sovereign Court Contributor

Patrick, you are a machine!

I appreciate your comments on my item, but even more I'm blown away with your dedication to commenting usefully and honestly on everyone's items.

I nominate you for honorary RPG Superstar!

Scarab Sages

Sobelia wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
Sobelia wrote:

here's mine: I think it was boring, mainly... although I could see the Shoanti using this all the time.

Bracers of Focused Anger, Greater

I like the designated favored foe being included in the description. as said elsewhere, it should creep the PCs out.

To avoid the potential barbarian abuse, add text that says it does not add to the number of rages a character already has. This would mean if you have none, you get one, but if you already have one or more (or have another item that adds more), you just get the favored foe bonus.

That somewhat defeats what I had in mind for the bracers, with them being favored by barbarian tribes. The cost would make it such that only a tribal "champion" could afford them. However, what if I added something like "If the wearer already has the rage ability, using the bracers increases the duration of the post rage fatigue suffered by the character." ?

Hmm. That would be a problem with my suggestion then. I'm not certain extending the down time would be cricket either. Hmm. Well if the goal is for barbarians to use it, go with it as-is. If we could use non-SRD things, I'd suggest make the additional use a frenzy instead of a rage, meaning they give full sway to their anger and attack whatever is closest, but with increaded bonuses. Makes them frightening to be next to on that last use...

Scarab Sages

Rambling Scribe wrote:

Patrick, you are a machine!

I appreciate your comments on my item, but even more I'm blown away with your dedication to commenting usefully and honestly on everyone's items.

I nominate you for honorary RPG Superstar!

umm... Thank you. <blushes>

I credit it to my first creative writing professor who, when we were critqueing each others work, said "tell them what they did wrong, but also tell them what they did right."

Scarab Sages

Warforged Goblin wrote:
No problem Pat, it's the internet and I'm an ex-WotC Board visitor, I expect jack-assery and I've yet to get any here. I do see your point about proving it's the god's blessing instead of some item the PC bought. Any suggestions on how to do that?

Sadly, no. That is, other than linking it to a class or prestige class, it falls to the DM to adjudicate who can use it and who shouldn't be able to. This is one of those things that's hard to write boundaries for without writing new rules. It is sort of like a paladin code of conduct.

You may add text to say something like, "The DM is the final arbiter of whether or not the wearer is acting according to the faith and gains the benefits." This could have some interesting roleplay angles when someone suddenly stops getting the benefit of the item. Or suddenly does when previously they didn't...

Scarab Sages

goldomark wrote:
Patrick Walsh wrote:
goldomark wrote:

This was my item. I sent it before I knew universal item weren't the equivalent of wondrous items. I guess this is why I'm not a RPG superstar. Comments are welcome, I'm not sure if its clear how to use it and if it is just a copy of the psionic power psychofeedback.

Medallion of Devolution:

I don't use the psionics rules, so I cannot comment on that. Creating a new type of damage is definitely non-SRD and ability changes are a pain to keep track of. That said, I kind of like the effect.

Thanks it nice to ear somebody likes it.

Ability burn is not a new type of damage, it is in the SRD. It is obscure, but it is there. I guess I should of added a spoiler with a link to the SRD.

I think Clark mentioned it is in the psionics rules, so that's why it appears to be new rules to me.


Thanks for the input!!

Patrick Walsh wrote:
Basiliv wrote:

Great thread, I wish I'd seen it sooner. I'll bite:

Scarf of Skills

I see 3 issues here:

1) Useable at range against others with no save.

I'm not sure that you're using it *against* anyone...I thought of it as a detection spell, which allows no save.

Patrick Walsh wrote:
3) The spell prereq's seem excessive and do not bear upon the effect created.

I based this on Gloves of Swimming and Climbing -- 2 skills increased, requiring both cat's grace and bull's strength to create. Since this increases the bonus on ANY skill, I included the whole suite of spells.

Patrick Walsh wrote:
You already mentioned a need to specify spell slot, so I didn't repeat that. I'd reduce the bonus and require that the original skill holder have at least that many ranks before it would work.

This was the part I wrestled with the most, so I welcome the feedback. Let me share my thought process here:

- Sharing skills within the party is an obvious use for this, but it could also be used to absorb skills that none of the PCs had. How would the PCs know how many ranks an NPC has? I suppose I could have gone with a "try it and see if it works" mechanic, especially with no save involved.
- My original thought was that the scarf increased the bonus to equal the number of ranks absorbed, but that's a lot of book-keeping. So I tried to find a balance there by using a flat bonus.
- +5 is great if it's constant, but since this will absorb any skill at all, I thought I should tone the power down with limited uses....which makes it less appealing as DCs increase with level...

Maybe I should have gone with +5 useable more times per day??

Patrick Walsh wrote:

Hmm. I'd also make it tiered at +2, +4, and +6 bonuses.

I'm not sure how that would work. Would you mind elaborating?

The Exchange

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Oh pretty colours! Which serve no function at all? I like the colours. Do something with the colours!

50 gp for colour spray has issues as well. Sure its accurate more or less by the magic item creation table but you taken arguably the most powerful 1st level spell in the game and just given it to everyone whatever their class happens to be for dirt cheap. What keeps my 2nd level players from buying one of these for everyone in the group and using them en masse?

Splash effects are OK but it still seems to powerful for every one of my players to open every combat by having all of them throw these things as range attacks. I mean this sure puts alchemists fire to shame.

Thanks for your comments. And you're totally right with what you said. In retrospect, the main flaw of the item is its total lack of conciseness which stems from the fact that I couldn't decide what sort of item I really wanted to do.

When I started I really knew two things. It should be absolutely low-cost and it should involve Desna's butterflies. It shouldn't be necessarily useful but it should catch the special flair of the song of the spheres. ( I think the latter succeeded better than the first).

Mistake Nr.1 : In the end I designed a simple dice. I love the idea but there's not much wondrous about it

Then I thought about which spell to use to create the effect and naturally, color spray was the first thing to think about. And with it came

Mistake Nr. 2: Instead of doing exactly what you said and do something with the colors I decided instead to directly implement the spell's functionality. With this I implemented just the type of combat benefit into the item I actually didn't want to have from the start. So instead of refining the item's core concept and in doing so to improve it I made it a hodgepodge of athmospheric uselessness and mechanical overloading. And forgot to add any restrictions.

Without these restrictions, you're right about the pricing as well. At least I should have restricted it to the classes which make the bulk of the typical desnan priest.

At least, it is never too late to learn frome your own mistakes. I hope to have improved my skills next time. And it's for sure that I have learned much from this contest.

regards, WQ

Liberty's Edge

Patrick Walsh wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

My entry:

Dawnhelm
This bronze pot helm has elongated nose and neck-guards, as well as hinged cheek-guards and a foot-high wicker crest running from ear to ear.

Simplify the description and avoid using "elongated nose" at all costs. I'm thinking you want it to look like the sun rising, but it doesn't actually say that. The mental image I'm getting is kind of dorky looking (due to the "elongated nose" part).

The whole "elongated nose" thing is a misreading of "elongated nose-guard (much like the Spartan helmets in '300' in that it goes past the tip of the nose). Sorry if that was confusing. I actually have some rough concept sketches here.

Liberty's Edge

Rambling Scribe wrote:

Patrick, you are a machine!

I appreciate your comments on my item, but even more I'm blown away with your dedication to commenting usefully and honestly on everyone's items.

I nominate you for honorary RPG Superstar!

Motion seconded.

The Exchange Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6 , Dedicated Voter Season 6

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:
Russ Taylor wrote:


Gloves of Force Shaping
** spoiler omitted **

You might be right about the range. That was the first thing that came to my mind when I read that aspect.

I really like the flavour of your item. Faint distortion from gloves made of phase spider silk...now thats cool.

I'm not sure about the wall of force suppression. It kind of seems sort of complicated with you making 'holes' in the wall of force. Having the wall of force just go down for, say 3 rounds, would be much easier to adjudicate.

I'm not sure about the price tag on this either. wall of force is pretty powerful. I'm not so sure that the tumbling rogue should have this spell for only 12 grand.
...

Priced kind of along the MIC theme, of what would I give up for this item, plus that it should be a fraction of the much-more-powerful cube of force. Definitely struggled with how to cost it.

The "hole" is along the lines of manipulating force rather than tearing it down, but it is more complicated that just saying "supress a force effect".

Range should have been specified to be touch, you can only create a wall right next to you or supress an adjacent effect. The created wall of force is as the spell - a flat, vertical plane, either a 5 ft by ft wall (1 side of a square) or 10 ft by 10 ft. wall. Tiny compared to the real spell.

Glad the favor text appealed, tried to keep it short but rich.


Thanks to all for the feedback. This has been a lot of fun for myself and probably everyone else involved.


Hey Daigle, we had pretty similar items! with chalk even.

Well here's my item. I submitted early. I think the next time I'll keep my finished idea a bit before submitting it, maybe sleep on it.

I thought of a few things I'd change. I think the price is too low. I would also make it one hour instead of 24, and I'd probably put limited uses per day on it. Maybe I'd clean up a few sentences a bit too. I used "ring gates" and "mirror of mental" prowess as guides.

------ submitted item ------
Gate Chalk

This chalk is gripped by a carved wooden handle, held fast with silver wire. A rough circle with a command word at its center is drawn on any flat surface. When a second circle is drawn, of roughly the same size and containing the same command word, the two are connected. Speaking the command word opens the gate for 24 hours. The same command word closes the gate at any time. If a gate is opened on a moveable object, it will move with the object. If the object drawn on is destroyed the gate closes. If another circle is drawn with the same command word as an existing set, it is considered the first circle of a new set. Once a gate is closed it may not be re-opened. The circles must be drawn within 100 miles of each other on the same plane of existence. Only one gate may be open at a time. Drawing a circle that fits a medium size creature is a move action. The mending spell renews the chalk after each use so it never runs out.

Faint Transmutation, Strong Conjuration; CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Item, mending, gate; Price 40,000 gp

------ submitted item ------

I thought it would make a cool espionage item. you could draw a circle on the bottom/back of a rug or wall hanging, then give it as a gift. wait a few days then, open it up and sneak through. Or you could draw a circle on the bottom of a wagon and have a non-offensive party drive it through a roadblock.

I didn't think it cheated out on traveling, cause someone has to travel the distance at least once to draw the far end.

The one thing I wasn't sure about was how would someone figure out how to use this if they didn't know what it was? oh well.

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka michaeljpatrick

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:
michaeljpatrick wrote:

Kerchief of Restoration

** spoiler omitted **

Your items break? How? There are, like, four creatures in the game that can break items. I suppose you could have an evil DM that runs around sundering your stuff but does not seem likely.

I think your spot on with this being just a little too mundane.

My DM takes critical miss rules pretty seriously.


Wow there's a lot of items here. And to think, the judges had to review way more than the ones in this thread! I just want to say thanks to Erik, Clark, and Wolfgang. I also want to thank Paizo, your efforts allow this great community to exist.


I can't believe I read the whole thing. I know I said it before, but wow that's a lot of posts.

Paizo Employee Managing Developer , Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Tallghost wrote:


Holy crap, Daigle. Our items are very similar.

Dude, I know! Lilith pointed out your item after seeing mine. I like the way you think.

Liberty's Edge

What page is yours on, Daigle?


Sebastian, I really like your Bountiful Sapling, that's one I want for my character. I like that you have to nurture it and stuff. If you carry it around potted it's kind of reminiscent of "the professional".

I got an idea for the sapling, what if you plant the fruit instead of eating it? There could be a chance of growing another sapling? That would be cool. An orange grower friend of mine suggests three years for the first fruits, maybe up to ten years before it's in full production (that is if magic fruit is anything like oranges).


Patrick, on the Thurburner Stone, I like that it stays big for 24 hours, especially if it's blocking the bad guys and they're chasing me.

If you make it an oil (as suggested somewhere in this thread) you could dip your sling bullets in, then you could say it'll stay a boulder an hour for each dip or something.


Heathansson wrote:
What page is yours on, Daigle?

It's on page 13, under a spoiler button.


benjover, I really like the Spoon of Dragon's Diet. it's kind of creepy too. Imagine if you were trapped in a sewer? or a mausoleum? I like the suggestion of adding some kind of vomit rules. Remember what that was before it turned into edible paste? Can you still eat it? (I know it's paste now, so it's purely psychological, but...)

Also, just curious, what do you imagine the paste tastes like? (chicken?)


Watcher!, I read a bit of your design notes, and I laughed when you said that part about not wanting to take ability from list A and add to item on list B, someone should make that a script using the srd website. I'd give them extra cool points if the script was less than 200 words ;)

I had a few ideas about your lantern. I'm not so good with the 3.5 rules, so you'll probably not get a lot of help form me there, but I really like the concept. If I had this lantern, how big would the projection be? could it be stopped or replayed? If it was like a real lantern and the projection changed size by how close the lantern was to where the subject was locked in, that would be fun.

Also, if you had the subject locked in, would you need the subject any more? like what if I made a guard the subject, to see what he did yesterday at a slow time, then knocked the real guard out and set the lantern on the ground to project an image of him still at his post? is the image from the past three dimensional?

If you can't lock in a subject, what happens when the subject is out of the light? does the projection stay projecting at the same time from the past, but on what ever is in the light now?

Wow I really want to play with one of these.


Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing

Spoiler:

This rigid necklace is made of iron driven through ten chunks of polished and petrified wood.

The Torq of Soul Stealing emanates a death knell effect in a 60' radius around the wearer. Any living creature knocked below 0 hps but not killed must make a DC 18 Will Save or be slain instantly. This effect takes place instantly when a creature in the radius of the Torq is falls below 0 hps but does not continue in later rounds nor is this effect triggered if a dying creature ends up in the radius of the Torq's radius.

Whenever a creature is slain by the Torq the Torq wearer gains 1d8 temporary hit points, a +2 bonus to Strength and +1 to their effective caster level as per death knell.

Should the Torq wearer be reduced below 0 hps then the wearer must make a DC 18 Fort save or be slain, obviously the wearer does not gain the benefits of the Torq in this circumstance.

faint necromancy, CL 5th, craft wondrous item, death knell, price 12,000 gp

Grand Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

It's not a bad concept, but this is not Soul Stealing - Life Stealing, perhaps. Also, it should be "Torc".

I don't know if the description helped you very much. There's nothing technically wrong with it but it's just some chunks of wood on a wire.

The radius of effect is too large.


Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

Looks like the internet ate my post! I'll try again...

Jeremy, I think this might be a bit too powerful. It's like an always on death knell. I know you have to get someone below 0 hp while within 60' of you, but if I'm a high level evil guy, I'd keep a whole bunch of goblins around, or heck, a pocket full of earthworms. Then whenever I need it, pow, squish like twelve earthworms.

Death knell seems like a powerful spell actually. I read it twice just to make sure. It doesn't specify what kind of creature, except living. And the part about 10 minutes per HD seems to be written to suggest a minimum of 10 minutes? maybe I'm reading it wrong? Also, I wonder does the +1 stack? It doesn't say, so I'd guess no, but who knows...

Not that it's a bad item, just really powerful, if I was an evil guy, I'd totally want one of these. And if I was a player, it would suck if the bad guy had one.


William Booth wrote:
If instead of thinking of it as a slingstone that grows and does extra damage (putting it in the weapon category), present it the other way. It a a stone that provides a 5' x 5' x 5' piece of cover upon command. In addition, it can also be fired from a sling or thrown as the command word is said, to grow in mid-flight and do the extra damage. That would probably move it to the wondrous item category.

In that case, I have a nice two-handed cheese slicer to show you. Sure, it's a wondrous item. *wink*


1Ol0 wrote:
Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

Looks like the internet ate my post! I'll try again...

Jeremy, I think this might be a bit too powerful. It's like an always on death knell. I know you have to get someone below 0 hp while within 60' of you, but if I'm a high level evil guy, I'd keep a whole bunch of goblins around, or heck, a pocket full of earthworms. Then whenever I need it, pow, squish like twelve earthworms.

Death knell seems like a powerful spell actually. I read it twice just to make sure. It doesn't specify what kind of creature, except living. And the part about 10 minutes per HD seems to be written to suggest a minimum of 10 minutes? maybe I'm reading it wrong? Also, I wonder does the +1 stack? It doesn't say, so I'd guess no, but who knows...

Not that it's a bad item, just really powerful, if I was an evil guy, I'd totally want one of these. And if I was a player, it would suck if the bad guy had one.

Its not really powerful as the players can't use it. It'd force them to make save or die checks every time one of them got knocked below 0 hps. They'll probably be within 60' of the wearer after all.

Of course the fact that the players can't use it might have been why it got rejected.


Starglim wrote:


It's not a bad concept, but this is not Soul Stealing - Life Stealing, perhaps. Also, it should be "Torc".

Spelling was something of a hang up for me.

I found three different versions of the spelling including Torq, Torque and Torc.

But I think your right in the sense that the SRD uses Torc and hence, for D&D torc is the correct spelling.

Paizo Employee Managing Developer , Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

1Ol0 wrote:

Hey Daigle, we had pretty similar items! with chalk even.

I was interested in that we both had the same general physical make up to the item. :) Thanks for directing Heathy to my item, also! I bet each one of us that made a passage item played thieves/rogues fairly often throughout our D&D 'careers'.

The Exchange

My easy-to-see-why-it-was-rejected item:
Automatic Palanquin
"Wish I had one o' them to haul me tators to market and ease the burden on me asses." -Farmer McGruff

A palanquin that needs no servants, this was once a relic of ancient Cheliax but has become increasingly more popular in Varisia in recent years. The movement of these palanquins is controlled from within by means of an ingenious system of air outlets on the edges of the palanquin. Designs range from regal displays with plush interiors to spartan steel frames with no comforts for the rider.

The automatic palanquin can carry 900lb. before sinking to the ground. The palanquin can move up to 40ft per round on the ground as a move action and can also ascend and descend up to 20ft per round. The price of the automatic palanquin depends largely on the materials used in its construction. Those materials may also affect the amount of weight the palanquin can carry.

Moderate Transmutation, Evocation; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, levitate, gust of wind; 7000G; Weight 100lb.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

We found the writing difficult and a bit convoluted. We gave some leeway for editing but we all unanimously felt the writing was choppy and could have used a re-write. It had a "first draft" feel to it, as an English professor of mine once wrote on a paper I submitted (that I wrote the night before with a few beers in me, so he was right on the money).

Erik also noted: "Wow. Wouldn't you just love it if you went to -1 hp next to your buddy who was wearing this? No thanks!"

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

I'm really sorry I havent been able to comment on everyone's items. There are just too many to do this all again...

I'm generally tending to respond to ones that I recalled having interesting discussion. The ones we just generically passed over I havent responded to. Of course, that doesnt mean the item was bad. Like most, it was probably a fine item that simply didnt stand out enough.


Clark Peterson wrote:
Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

We found the writing difficult and a bit convoluted. We gave some leeway for editing but we all unanimously felt the writing was choppy and could have used a re-write. It had a "first draft" feel to it, as an English professor of mine once wrote on a paper I submitted (that I wrote the night before with a few beers in me, so he was right on the money).

Erik also noted: "Wow. Wouldn't you just love it if you went to -1 hp next to your buddy who was wearing this? No thanks!"

Thank you.

Mechanics was a problem for me in this submission. Even with no 'fluff' I found my original draft clocked in at 311 words. Attempts to bring it down to 200 words likely led to a very abrupt and chopped up sounding item.

My error, at least in part, was in not realizing that it was time to try and rewrite this or consider some less confusing mechanics.


Jeremy Mac Donald wrote:

Well I'm mortified to find that I posted my item with a cut and past to the submission box and therefore lost the text.

I'm going to try and summarize the item from memory in order to get some feedback and of course would especially love to hear from Clark where my item fell down.

Torq of Soul Stealing
** spoiler omitted **

As others have said, too powerful...lower the range, bring the creation cost higher, then I might consider it.

About that villains-only...I am rather fond of items which are not no-brainers but actually require characters to consider when and how and if to use that item, so this one is tempting...it is useful item with potentially disastrous side effects, do the characters dare to gamble? Dropping something like this into hands of the player characters is just too delicious.
And after all, why should some necromancer surrounding himself with armies of undead care about other people, so someone out there creating item like this makes perfect sense.

Even if I don't particularly care for Lord of the Rings, I did like the aspect of "what the heck do we do with this?" about One Ring...and items with the same sensibility are always welcome in my games.

Scarab Sages

Eye Patch of the Pirate King

This menacing black eye patch is made of shark skin leather stitched with sea serpent gut and adorned with the skull rune of the first great pirate king.

When worn over the right eye, the wearer receives a +5 competence bonus to Intimidation and may cast fear (Will DC 16 partial) thrice per day.

When worn over the left eye, the wearer receives a +5 competence bonus to Bluff and can change their appearance as the disguise self spell. While disguised, the patch itself may change even disappearing altogether. Any disguise is immediately cancelled by moving the patch to the other eye.

A move action dons the patch or changes the covered eye. No attack of opportunity is provoked.

Any landlubber (anyone who has never spent at least three continuous days at sea) who wears the patch gains a negative level. While the negative level never becomes permanent, it remains as long as the patch is worn and cannot be overcome in any way (including restoration spells).

The patch is transparent to the wearer and in no way affects vision.

Moderate necromancy; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self, fear; Price 37,000 gp.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

Callum wrote:
Watcher! wrote:

Please take a look! First spoiler tag is just the item itself.

Lantern of Light Long Lost

Watcher,

My problem with your item is that it's too open-ended, allowing it to be a story-breaker. Aside from short-circuiting most crime investigations, there are all sorts of other mysteries, plot points, and character backgrounds that can just be bust open with the lantern. A player in one of my 2nd-edition campaigns created a spell called reply the past that had pretty much the same effect, and it was problematic for this very reason. Even when you build in some control over what the PCs get to see - as with sensitivity to psychic impressions - they'll keep using the ability, and may become frustrated if they frequently don't get to see what they want! The lantern is particularly awkward in this regard, as it shows an image that is "directly relevant to the user's interest." What makes legend lore work is that it only reveals legendary information - which is generally the sort of information you will have prepared, and be happy to give to the players (not to mention that it can be highly inaccurate).

I appreciate the cool and spooky feel of using the lantern to peer into the past, but it's an item I'd never allow into one of my campaigns. Hope that helps!

It does Callum, and I appreciate it.

I think what hindered me was my own bias, not just in liking my own item, but also in my role-playing style.. and the type of player I've worked for the last decade.

I play straight 3.5 SRD DnD, but I'm accustomed to free-form and diceless systems. The comment that my item is 'deus ex machina' takes me aback, because (to me) all magic items are deus ex machina. Every last one of them is a plot device. At least subconsciously.

I shared the comment with some diceless folks, and got the same readtion "What is it that they don't think is a plot device?"

But walking in two gaming worlds, as I am, do sort of get it. You give a "traditiona RPG" player a magic item and he/she is going to use it for all it's worth. He/She is not necessarily going to use it to help the GM craft additional stories and adventures, he/she is going to milk it to get the treasure and skip anything that looks like hard work requiring thought. And because it's 'their' item, they're going to feel cheated if it doesn't work as advertised. Perhaps I was blind or altrusitic to that.

(And if that sounded harsh towards DnD players, I didn't mean it to be. My players are awesome and like story.. but this is what I am getting from why my item isn't really a good one)

This might sound silly, but I've known what a mini-maxer is (I haven't been on a desert island) but I've only recently seen it in action. My own DnD players don't do that stuff, so even when I started running a traditional RPG, I wasn't looking for that sort of behavior. (I caught one doing it though, and it shocked me actually)

Maybe next year, after I've finished RuneLords, and cut my teeth on Curse of the Crimson Throne I'll have a better idea of the pitfalls to watch for.

Thanks for your comment!


ironregime wrote:
William Booth wrote:
If instead of thinking of it as a slingstone that grows and does extra damage (putting it in the weapon category), present it the other way. It a a stone that provides a 5' x 5' x 5' piece of cover upon command. In addition, it can also be fired from a sling or thrown as the command word is said, to grow in mid-flight and do the extra damage. That would probably move it to the wondrous item category.

In that case, I have a nice two-handed cheese slicer to show you. Sure, it's a wondrous item. *wink*

Just so that I don't sound entirely crazy, look up Mattock of the Titans and Maul of the Titans in the SRD, and the one of the winners, the Malleus Maleficareum. I'm not saying it's right, but there is a precedent.

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012 , Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9

Clark Peterson wrote:

I'm really sorry I havent been able to comment on everyone's items. There are just too many to do this all again...

I'm generally tending to respond to ones that I recalled having interesting discussion. The ones we just generically passed over I havent responded to. Of course, that doesnt mean the item was bad. Like most, it was probably a fine item that simply didnt stand out enough.

That is good feedback in and of itself. I think that fits my item. Thanks!

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 4

1Ol0 wrote:

Watcher!, I read a bit of your design notes, and I laughed when you said that part about not wanting to take ability from list A and add to item on list B, someone should make that a script using the srd website. I'd give them extra cool points if the script was less than 200 words ;)

I had a few ideas about your lantern. I'm not so good with the 3.5 rules, so you'll probably not get a lot of help form me there, but I really like the concept. If I had this lantern, how big would the projection be? could it be stopped or replayed? If it was like a real lantern and the projection changed size by how close the lantern was to where the subject was locked in, that would be fun.

Also, if you had the subject locked in, would you need the subject any more? like what if I made a guard the subject, to see what he did yesterday at a slow time, then knocked the real guard out and set the lantern on the ground to project an image of him still at his post? is the image from the past three dimensional?

If you can't lock in a subject, what happens when the subject is out of the light? does the projection stay projecting at the same time from the past, but on what ever is in the light now?

Wow I really want to play with one of these.

Thank you. I have to caution you though, when I wrote it, it was with the bias that it would be a useful tool to aid in investigations, and a bridge to more clues. With it, I imagined that players could use it to expand stories with the GM. All that can actually happen, but there might have been a role colored view to what actually might happen.

I guess I'm saying, it might be fun with the right group, or it might be a game breaking spoiler with another. It's not a Superstar item because such an item can't rely on having a certain type of player not abuse it.

Tell you what though, taken as a straight plot device with no apologies for that- it might be a pretty cool idea. Especially for a villain or a 'helper NPC.'

You questions:
1.) I don't think you should allow it to stop or reply itself. That's too much like a movie projector. It's a one time snap shot into the past. That maintains the wonder of it, and keeps people from exploiting it.

2.) I really relied on the silent image spell to govern to determine the size and literal functioning of the projection. Actually re-reading the spell, it doesn't give much comment on whether it's a still image, or one with animation. I would say just a little animation, but no more than a minute or so. Better to give less than too much.

3.) You have some neat ideas in terms of application I'll give you that!!! But I don't think you can lock 'scans' in and play them later. I think the Lantern just scans the past, and immediately shows the past. That was the core intent. You're playing with ideas like recording the past and projecting them as current events, not what I had in mind. I was going more with a research tool sort of application.

4.) What happens if the subject moves out of the light? (and mind you, it's hard to use this on an unwilling target!) I think it depends if the lantern is finished 'scanning them' or not. If it has, it projects what it saw promptly. If not, then the lantern can show nothing and the use for the day is consumed.

You do give me the thought that perhaps I should have made a completely different items that used illusions as the base, without any augury related themes.

A 'Shadow Puppet Lamp' perhaps? Where you could use it to cast illusions, liking knocking the guard out and replacing him with an illusion. Or projecting Phantasms at enemies..? One would have to beware of making it sound too much like a holographic projecting camera though.

Hmmm.. Still, there were tons of lamps and lanterns anyway.

Thanks for your interest!

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Spoiler:
Communiqués of the Archmage

This pair of identical scrolls each comes in its own ornate case. The cases and rollers are made of precious materials and embossed with a symbol or coat of arms. New scrolls begin blank and are unremarkable except for the backside’s slight metallic sheen. The parchment is durable and water resistant.

The front surface of a Communiqué will accept any material that leaves a mark and whatever is written will appear identically on the other scroll. In this way, they provide two way-written communications over any distance on the same plane. When a user begins to write on a Communiqué of the Archmage, a mental ping alerts the character possessing the scroll’s counterpart that a message is incoming.

Leaders often give Communiqués to subordinates and adventurers frequently use them to coordinate between parties, but another use of the Communiqués is in the sending of spells to remote spellcasters. Scribing a spell on a Communiqué of the Archmage works like scribing a scroll and requires the same costs. When a spell is activated from either Communiqué, the writing disappears from both.

Moderate evocation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, sending; Price 10,000 gp (for a pair); Weight 1lb.

Clouds Without Water wrote:


I think it might have been better to use a phrase other than "mental ping", which seems a bit out of place. "The scroll is brought to the forefront of the counterpart owner's mind" or something similar.

Yeah, they concept is a little email-in-an-object, but written communication across distance is something any magic using world would be trying to address. There's probably a cooler concept to work this into, though, more flavor to it.

Well, the Alarm spell says "You note a single mental “ping”" in reference to the silent alarm version. With this for precedence I don't feel that the language was poorly used. I also wanted it to remind players of our modern personal-communication devices as mentioned above and the humor inherent when a player says "hold on, I'm getting a fax."

As for flavor, I wanted this to item to reference official military dispatches, but one that could be amended or changed as new information was gained by the leadership.

Overall, it is themed realistically for a fantasy world yet reminds us of our modern lives. One of my favorite magic items I've ever come up with. What would you do differently thematically?

Meds wrote:


Twinned Styli of Dispatches

These are cool. The only concern is what happens when you are carrying one in your pocket or backpack when it starts to receive a message. What if there are no smooth surfaces for it to write on, like in a rough cave? I don’t want it to engrave the blade of my sword with a cookie recipe. But then again, I could use it to engrave my oath or motto on my sword. I really like the flavor you put in about creating more than two for their use in espionage.

Patrick Walsh wrote:
Duplicates instant messaging, and the judges (notably Clark) dislike "modern items made into magic items".

This is why I got dumped and all Clark said in reply was “Yep, like email.” Well, I guess I couldn’t have made a consideration for the personal tastes of the judges. As Clouds Without Water pointed out “written communication across distance is something any magic using world would be trying to address.” I didn’t originally set out to invent these to mimic modern technology, but I personally feel that we invented instant messaging, pagers, and cell phones in our world to fill a need and a fantasy world would be no different. Should a fantasy world not have a written communication device simply because we have then in the modern-real world?

My groups have gotten a lot of laughs in using these scrolls in game for just this reason. Like Skaven13’s “You’ve got scroll” joke in this thread, there are about a million of these references. Maybe some roleplayers take their game too seriously to allow these sort of “out of character” jokes, but in my games they are an integral part of the fun as long as they are not disruptive to the story.

Patrick Walsh wrote:
Personally, I don't like the spell scribing function. What if someone on the other end sends a message while the spell is being scribed? Also, there is no limit set to the number of pages of information the scolls can handle. If the items generate the paper as necessary, then this is particularly broken with regards to spell scribing.

What happens when someone on the other end send a message while a scroll is being scribed? Why would you do that? Can’t you see that I am scribing a scroll for you to use? In other words, it is instantaneous. As soon as I begin scribing the scroll, the other user can see that I am scribing a scroll and they would only interrupt in order to ruin the scribing. My group has used this function to request certain spells in a pinch from NPC wizards or when our wizard leveled up to a new spell level he could remotely buy spells from the local wizard’s guild (paid in advance, of course). The spell is almost always requested by the other scroll user, so why would he interrupt it except in an extreme emergency?

As for the set number of pages, this is the one thing that I forgot and realized after I posted my entry. It has not been a consideration in my games in the past but I would say that an unused scroll can hold a total of 9 spell levels of scribes spells and a used one can hold less depending on how much of the scroll already has mundane text.

There is one more thing that I left off of my item description that maybe I should have included. My group uses this item with a prop. I usually take a piece of parchment paper and make it the actual item when we play the game. That sheet of paper is the real scroll in the game and the two look identical. Anything an NPC writes to the PCs I actually write on the paper and anything the PCs write to an NPC or another PC owner of the other scroll gets actually written on the paper. This gives us a record of our communication and gives us a good idea how much space is left on the scroll for scribing or future communication.

Single scrolls are often found on the corpse of a villain’s lieutenant with a record of his orders and bad guys secrets. Found this way, the scroll provides the PCs with a sort of odd communication with their archenemy as they work to defeat him. Pairs of scrolls have been found in two separate parts of a dungeon on the skeletons of deceased adventurers. These scrolls sometimes come with spells on them and often a record of the dead group’s adventure communications. They have been splattered with blood from when the party met their end (red paint). Actually there is a ton of ways to implement these scrolls in the game depending on who has the other scroll and the history of the scroll before the PCs acquire it.

Marathon Voter Season 6

Clark Peterson wrote:

I'm really sorry I havent been able to comment on everyone's items. There are just too many to do this all again...

I'm generally tending to respond to ones that I recalled having interesting discussion. The ones we just generically passed over I havent responded to. Of course, that doesnt mean the item was bad. Like most, it was probably a fine item that simply didnt stand out enough.

It's all good Clark. The fact that your willing to even make the attempt makes you seriously awesome in my book. Thanks.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Here's mine. Bear in mind I'm not a native speaker... Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Medallion of Wailing

The goblins of Stormstrand found the medallion in the old tomb. The small rusty piece of metal looked like
a worthless trinket clutched in the closed fist of a long-dead skeleton.
When the young goblin Larbt first squeezed the round medallion in his bare hand, his voice resounded dark and ominous.
After an initial cold chill, they all rolled laughing to the floor. Now, in Stormstrand, catch-the-ghost is a popular game among
the younger crowd.
An inscription in the medallion reads in Abyssal: "Uhr-Alak". When squeezed tight, it makes the bearer's voice sound deep and ghost-like.
All speech comes out in Abyssal, instead of the bearer's native tongue.
Anybody within 10 feet that hears the Abyssal voice must make a Will DC 11 save or be stunned for 1d6 rounds. Characters that saved successfully
are immune from this effect for the next 24 hours.
When the bearer speaks the word "Uhr-Alak" aloud while squeezing the medallion, he or she gains protection from mind-affecting spells for 1 hr.
This effect can be used once per day.
Strong abjuration and divination, CL 16th, Cast Wondrous Item, Mind Blank, Tongues, creator must speak Abyssal; Price 46,000 gp

751 to 800 of 955 << first < prev | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Archive / Paizo / RPG Superstar™ / Previous Contests / RPG Superstar™ 2008 / General Discussion / Losing items All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.